


Soulbound

by AllNewKatyana



Category: Astonishing X-Men, X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: AU Astonishing X-Men, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Character Swap, F/F, Femslash, Katyana
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-01-18 09:21:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 129,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1422904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllNewKatyana/pseuds/AllNewKatyana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alternate take on Astonishing X-Men that extends beyond the canon. What if the "warm body" in Benetech Labs had been an entirely different Rasputin? What does it mean for the X-Men? What does it mean for Kitty Pryde?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RandiOfAsgard](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandiOfAsgard/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The X-Men infiltrate Benetech Labs and Kitty discovers that sometimes what is thought to be lost forever can turn up when you least expect them to.

### Previously, in Astonishing X-Men...

> Dr. Kavita Rao, a world-renowned geneticist, has claimed to have developed a cure to the mutant 'disease'. The mutant community is up in arms, but even among the X-Men, opinions are divided. Some, Hank McCoy included, are seriously considering taking this cure. But when Beast obtains a sample from Dr. Rao, he discovers the DNA of one of their own imbedded in its chemical structure.
> 
> The X-Men decide that it's time to pay a visit to Benetech Labs.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Outside of Benetech Labs, those lining up for the cure would have barely heard the sound of the sleek, black aircraft that soared overhead. It was only just visible against the gradually darkening sky and the tiny flecks of the light from the stars that were slowly coming out of hiding. It's uncanny speed and design gave it away easily enough for those who knew it, the Blackbird X-Jet belonging to no other than the X-Men themselves. It was dead set on its destination, soaring over New York and crowds of protestors waving all sorts of demeaning and disrespectful signs at those lined up at the gates.

Inside the jet, Cyclops was in the pilot seat with Emma Frost at his left in the spot of the co-pilot. Huddled close behind them were Wolverine, Beast, and Shadowcat. 

"Okay," Cyclops started, flipping a number of switches on the jet's controls to activate the advanced cloaking system as the aircraft began to slow. They were nearing their destination, and quickly at that. "Remember what I told you before we left. Our intel tells us these people might be using mutants for tissue samples. We're not here to engage anyone, this is a recon mission only. We're scoping it out and getting the hell back home."

The jet came to a full stop, using the light cloud cover to idle over the compound's main building, which was still glowing with yellow light from the multitude of windows that covered it, despite the hour. Scott smacked the button on his chest that unfastened his harness from around him and withdrew the straps back into his seat. He turned to look at his team, "Beast?"

The blue, furry X-Men gave a nod with his grunt of acknowledgement before he spoke, "From what I've found, the security mainframe should be located in the basement. Shadowcat, do you think you can get down there and shut it down without setting anything off? That will give the rest of us a chance to explore." 

"I can try," the brunette nodded, determined.

* * *

Kitty could feel the molecules in the floor squeezing between the ones that made up her own physiology, pushing past them like that one too-eager child in the school hallways who bumped into everyone, disrupting conversations and knocking books out of hands on their way. It was not a feeling she was used to when she phased. Somehow, this felt more effortful, the molecules of the floor more resistant, as if they did not want to let her past without a struggle. Even more troubling was the fact that there didn't seem to be an _end_ to the strange metal.

She just kept going down and down and down, using up the air in her lungs and wondering how long she could push on before she would have to give up and go back up, wondering if maybe she should change directions, wondering if there could even be anything useful below so much metal.

She was just about at her limit when her feet fell through into mercifully empty space. She withdraw them quickly and twisted her body around to poke her head out first instead. She did a quick survey of the area, not daring to breathe yet. Only once she had guaranteed that it was free of guards did she let herself gently down.

She was in a hallway bathed in red light, and though her body tingled all over in such a way that made her worry if the metal had done any permanent damage, she forced herself to pick a direction and start walking.

The place was a maze of weirdly sloping walls and footsteps and muffled voices that seemed to echo endlessly. She moved towards what she thought was the source of those voices, stopped before she could round the corner, and listened. 

"Alpha team reports hostiles upstairs. They have them contained and there is no sign of a breach, but we're on alert just in case."

 _'That would explain the lights,'_ Kitty nodded to herself, biting her lip to see if the soldiers would say anymore about her teammates upstairs. She wasn't so much worried for them as she was for this "Alpha team", though whether the threat came more from Logan's claws or Emma's tongue, she could not say.

"No one gets near the subject."

_'So Hank was right. They are using mutant samples. And from only one mutant, by the sound it.'_

She hadn't felt Emma's presence in her mind since she had entered the lower levels, and Kitty guessed that her telepathy could not breach the metal she had phased through. That meant she had no way to call in what she had heard. She was acting alone.

Steeling herself, Kitty took a deep breath and struck across the hall, straight past the junction where the guards had stopped to chat. A sturdy-looking door met her almost immediately. She phased her hand through the lock, fiddled with the mechanism until she felt it click into place, then eased the sides apart.

Of course, they grated against the ground and instantly alerted the guards to her presence.

"We have a hostile!"

"Drop her! Drop her!"

Shadowcat was intangible before they could begin firing. She twisted towards them, ready to fight, when a sudden flare of blue in the otherwise pitch black space she had revealed caught her eye. 

Her heart hammering in her chest for reasons other than being shot at, she turned. Standing in front of her, bathed in the red light from the hallway while only darkness loomed behind her, was a very familiar and supposed-to-be-dead blonde, towering at least half a foot taller than her and looking straight ahead. Kitty would know that face anywhere—Illyana Rasputin, or someone who looked disturbingly just like her. 

Though Kitty's own eyes had gone wide in shock, it was almost as though Illyana was staring right through her, like the bright blue glow radiating from her eyes was somehow hindering her from seeing Kitty standing _right there_. The shock on the brunette's face didn't go away when Illyana _ran_ through her, her silver Eldritch armor forming over her left arm as she raised it to her face to protect herself from the barrage of bullets flying at her.

The men didn't budge even as she gained on them, standing their ground and firing their weapons like it was their only hope. With the cold, merciless expression etched into Illyana's young features, it very well might have been. 

She grabbed the first man by his gun, deftly twisting it from his grip and disarming him. She slammed the butt of it against his head as the man next to him opened fire on her. The bullets deflected off some sort of mystical shield, invisible until it was hit by the pellets of hot lead which caused it to light up in a show of little runes of various shapes. Illyana grabbed the man by his face, her armored fingers digging into his skin and making him cry out in pain while she slammed the side of her other hand into another one of the guards' throats. 

"Illyana!" Kitty cried out, watching as the sorceress slammed the man she was holding against the wall so hard that he slid down it and crumpled about her bare feet in a heaped, unconscious mass. Unconcerned for his condition, the blonde then turned on her next, and last, victim. The other man had already dropped his gun and run for it, abandoning his teammates without a second thought.

"Illyana, stop! Stop it!" she shouted again, her legs carrying her towards her long lost friend, prepared to rip her away from the remaining man. 

Fortunately, Illyana seemed to come to her senses before she could do any permanent damage. The man dropped to the floor and hastily scuttled backwards on his hands and knees, staring up at the woman who had almost ended his life with wide, terrified eyes.

Kitty was a little scared herself.

"Yana?" she started, warily reaching out to put her hand on the other woman's shoulder. The glow in Illyana's eyes dissipated, leaving her with her normal, sky blue eyes that hid away years worth of pain and suffering, years of innocence lost after trying so hard to hold on to it, years of hoping that maybe, just maybe, holding on to what was left of it wasn't a lost cause. As she turned, the armor seemed to fold into itself as it retracted down her arm so that by the time she was facing Kitty, it was gone.

"Katya? I—" Illyana spoke softly, her disbelief giving way to sadness, and that sadness gave way to....relief? A strangled breath escaped her lips as she dropped to her knees, head bowed, "By the Dark Lords..."

She raised her gaze again, eyes full of tears—full of _hope_. Illyana reached up, fingers hesitantly touching Kitty's sides as if to check if she were real, if she was actually there. A relieved huff of breath later she was wrapping her arms around the brunette and burying her face against her abdomen, "Is it...is it over, Katya? Am I finally dead?"

"You're alive," Kitty breathed, more to herself at first than to reassure the blonde. Tentatively, she let her arms come to rest on the top of Magik's head, then let her fingers slide down into those familiar, golden locks. She could feel Illyana's mostly naked chest quivering against her legs, could feel her hands convulsing where they rested on her waist, and hot tears welling in her own eyes. 

"You're alive," she said again, louder this time and with a brief, astonished laugh. "Oh my God, Yana. You're alive."

"I never died," Illyana's voice was quiet, a clear sadness hanging off her words as she leaned into the comfort of Kitty's touch. She tightened her arms around the other mutant's waist, forehead pressing against her mid-section as the long-held tears finally fell down her cheeks.

At that, Kitty slid her hands around to her jaw instead, cupping it gently in her hands and guiding the blonde to tilt her head up to meet her gaze. She brushed her disheveled, overgrown bangs out of her eyes, "No... Yana, y-you died when Limbo invaded New York. You were fighting in the city and you just... disappeared. Piotr found your armor and... I got your Soulsword. You were _dead_."

Kitty's voice broke on the last word, and she quickly averted her eyes, dashing away the tears that had gathered there with the back of her hand. Abruptly, she dropped her hand from Illyana's cheek and stepped back, breaking out of her hold. "It's been years!" she cried, almost accusingly, as if Illyana could truly be to blame for everything that had transpired since then. One of Kitty's hands slapped over her mouth while the other wrapped around her midsection as if she needed it to hold herself together.

Illyana slowly sat back onto her haunches, her arms out in front of her with her fingers splayed, looking at them like she'd lost a part of herself when the brunette left her grasp. She swallowed hard, shaking her head, "No, I...I didn't _die_ , Katya."

She never broke eye contact with the other mutant even as she racked through her weak, tired mind for the best way to explain what had really happened. She pushed one of her hands through her hair, holding it to her head as she took a deep breath, "I _saved_ New York. I got rid of those stupid demons, but I had to use _everything_ to do it and there was _nothing_ left after I closed the portal behind me when I went back to Limbo. Most of it's fuzzy after that, but I know I wasn't _dead_. I was just...I was weak, I couldn't even use my powers to get myself back. I had to pull myself back together even when I didn't know what that even _meant_ anymore."

Illyana dropped her hand from her head, instead folding both of them in her lap and dropping her gaze to look at them, "I spent so long just wandering in Limbo, trying to find my way but...every time I thought I'd found it, it was just another illusion or a trick my mind was playing on me. I didn't think I was ever going to get out."

She finished her explanation, confusing as it was, with Kitty still standing, staring down at her with tears swimming in her eyes. "It's been _years_ , Yana," she choked out, "I thought you were _dead_. We _all_ thought you were dead. There was a funeral! And the whole time you were just... How did you get _here_? How do I know you're even _my_ Illyana? That you're not just some clone with a crazy story about how you miraculously survived? I knew you! When you were six years old I used to read you bedtime stories and braid your hair. I would have _known_ if you were alive!"

"Katya," Illyana tried, unable to decide what she was more distressed over. The fact that she couldn't prove to her best friend that she _was_ her Illyana, or the fact that she had been gone so long that she had to. She swallowed hard, her fingernails anxiously scratching at her cold, bare legs, "Do you remember the Bermuda Triangle? The place where I was first taken to Limbo as a child?"

Kitty shook her head, "That doesn't prove anything. Everyone knows that. It's in your _file_."

"Stop," the blonde pleaded, her voice cracking and forcing her to stop talking for a moment. She took in a shaky breath and let it out just the same, "Please...just listen."

Illyana closed her eyes, collecting herself before she lifted her gaze again to meet Kitty's. She'd always been told that wandering and shifty eyes meant dishonesty, and this time she was being anything but, "The dimensional wall between Limbo and Earth is still very thin there. When I was travelling, lost in Limbo, I...I don't know if I stumbled through or if I fell into one of Limbo's stepping discs, but I ended up back there. Right where I went in the first time, Katya. The same place you pulled me out."

Magik couldn't help it then, bowing her head and wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. She grit her teeth tightly, fighting back the anxiety attack that threatened to rattle her. The image of what had happened to her was still very vivid, flashing by her mind's eye like it was taunting her and no matter how often she saw it or how intense it was, it never got easier to handle. Tears in her eyes, she looked back up at Kitty, who was still shaking her head and staring at her like she could not believe a thing she was saying.

"Only this time, you....you weren't there," her voice cracked again, " _They_ found me. They found me and they brought me _here_."

"Yana," Kitty started, only to bite her lip to cut herself off again. Part of her wanted to continue arguing the point, to keep insisting that the person before her was not _her_ Illyana Rasputin, just some evil copy created to torment them all. Maybe she thought it would have been easier to take out a clone than stand there and listen to a tale where her best friend was tortured _again_. 

But that same best friend was sitting on the floor, looking even more fragile and vulnerable than she had when Kitty had first met her bright and bubbly six-year-old self. As if controlled by some outside force, Shadowcat sunk to her knees and drew the blonde into her chest. Illyana didn't hesitate to return the embrace, wrapping her arms around the X-Man's waist. 

"If... If you're just some stupid shapeshifter or some kind of mind trick, I will kill you. And I will make it hurt," she told her firmly, despite the wobble in her lower lip. She pressed her face against the top of Magik's head, her body rocking back and forth ever so slightly as she whispered, "What did they do to you?"

"Tests, I guess. Injections, cutting me open," Illyana told her, voice muffled against Kitty's uniform, "They kept me drugged so I couldn't use my powers to escape. Nothing worse than I've already been through, but...I just...I just want to go _home_ , Katya."

"Okay, okay," Kitty nodded, her cheek rubbing against her best friend's hair as she did so. She pursed her lips slightly, pressed them against the top of the other girl's head, and tightened her arms around her. "I'll take you home."

But neither of them made any effort to get up. Instead, they remained on the ground just as they were, comfortable in each other's long overdue and much needed embrace. Silence had taken over around them, leaving them alone in their own private world until Illyana finally broke the illusion a few minutes later with a soft and sincere, "I've missed you so much."

"Me too," Kitty murmured, resting her chin on top of Magik's head for a while longer until, finally, she pushed herself to her feet, pulling the blonde up with her. 

Reluctantly, she stepped away from her, holding up her finger in a silent signal that she should wait. Kitty closed her eyes, her fingers twitching ever so sightly as furrows formed in her brow. After a few moments, Illyana's Soulsword materialized in her grasp.

She opened her eyes, a light blush on her cheeks as she held the weapon out towards it's rightful owner, "Think you can magick yourself up some clothes?"

The grin that grew across Illyana's lips was probably the first one in a very, very long time. She nodded at the brunette as her fingers wrapped around the hilt of the weapon forged from a piece of her own soul, her body feeling strangely re-energized by having it back in her grasp, "Give me a second?"

Magik closed her eyes, muttering something under her breath in a language that was definitely not from Earth and barely coherent at that. As the last uttering left her lips, a swirling cloud of light blue smoke that smelled faintly of burning pine wrapped around her body. It started with her left arm and traveled upwards to her torso where it split. One part went to her right arm while the other twirled around the rest of her body. Then, when it had covered her entirely, it dispersed into nothing more than a light fog and she was left in the same yellow and black uniform she'd worn during her time with the New Mutants. 

She held out her arms, Soulsword gripped tightly in her hand still, and examined her work. Illyana looked back to Kitty and grinned, "Yeah?"

"Much better," Kitty grinned back at her, though that smile quickly faded from her face as she glanced back in the direction she had come. "I don't suppose you know another way out of here? My trip down here wasn't very... pleasant."

"I can find a way," Illyana told her as her free hand reached out and grabbed Kitty's, pulling her in closer, "Where are we going?"

"The others are upstairs, uhh, somewhere. I think they got caught. I haven't heard anything from Emma since I got down here," the brunette explained, giving her friend's hand a brief squeeze.

"Emma? I don't remember an Emma. How much has changed since I've been gone?" Illyana asked, scrunching up her nose as the realization dawned on her that she had a lot of catching up to do.

For a second, Kitty just stared at her. Then she laughed. "I'll fill you in later," she promised, "Can you find them?"

"Yup!" Illyana assured her with a nod, "Let's go."

A circle of blue light opened up beneath the girls' feet, glowing eerily in the red-washed hallways. Hands firmly clasped together, Kitty and Illyana sank slowly down into the stepping disc. In a matter of seconds, it had swallowed them completely and left the hallway empty save for the unconscious bodies of the guards.

A few moments later, heavy footfalls revealed a second team of guards before they rounded the corner, weapons up and ready. They halt quickly at the sight of the wide open doorway to the "subject's" room. One of the guards angrily threw his gun at the wall, knowing in that instant that they were too late.

" _Dammit!_ They're gone!" 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The X-Men face down Ord once more, and discover why Illyana was needed to create the cure. They're none too happy about either.

"We need to get this man home, he's bleeding out," Emma Frost spoke, her faux-British accent heavy in her voice. Her cold expression and the calmness in her tone easily hid the fact that she was dreadfully worried about her lover. She was kneeling down beside Cyclops, her white outfit stained with his blood. The same blood that was pooling around him, bubbling from the bullet wound in his back. Her hand was on his shoulder as he faded in and out of consciousness, but her attention was on Dr. Kavita Rao who was fumbling around with a bottle of anti-septic and a roll of gauze. 

"One of you call in a medic team," the doctor called out to one of the three heavily-armed men who were standing guard around the large room. 

"No, we haven't time for that, you insufferable twit. We have a _healer_ at home," Emma wasn't having _any_ of that, but despite her protests, Dr. Rao was already kneeling down on the other side of Cyclops. The White Queen didn't bother to stop her when she began wrapping the gauze around his torso, knowing that if they weren't going to be let go then this woman very well could be his only chance at surviving his wounds. 

"Put pressure on that," Dr. Rao told her and Emma complied, pressing her already bloodied hands against the partially dressed wound, "I have no intention of hurting you, I promise you that."

"I haven't a clue _what_ you intend to do as long as you have that scrambler," The look in Emma's glacial eyes was untrusting, suspicious. And rightfully so, too. Dr. Rao shook her head.

"I didn't authorize this kind of force," she tried to explain to the blonde, but Emma truly could not have cared any less about what she had or had not authorized. 

"I am sure you have the _noblest_ of intentions. I assume eliminating the gay gene is next on your agenda?" The bite in Emma's words had clearly struck a nerve and the doctor snapped her head up from her patient.

"There is no threat to human existence in homosexuality," she argued. Emma didn't know whether to laugh or slap her across the face. She didn't have time to decide which one to go with before the damned woman was speaking again, "Nothing you do or say is going to change the fact that the world needs this cure."

Suddenly, a large blue-furred hand grabbed Dr. Rao by the throat, yanking her to her feet despite the warning shouts from the guards. Weapons were aimed and ready to fire, but the feral look in Beast's eyes gave the very clear message that he was not afraid of them. He forced her around to a nearby examination table where a young woman with thin, multicolored wings and blue markings all over her orange-tinged body laid dead. His blue claws dug into Dr. Rao's jaw, giving her no option other than to look down at the lifeless mutant.

"Did _this girl_ need your cure?" he growled.

"Hank, she was already dead. She _killed herself_ ," the doctor managed despite his hold, though the fear she felt was evident in her expression. Beast released his grip around her neck, but used her arm to force her around to face him.

"Who else have you been cutting up, Kavita? I want to hear it from _you_ ," he asked her scornfully, yellow eyes narrowed.

"I don't understand what you mean," she stammered, fixing her glasses. Beast and Emma, however, were not in the least bit convinced. She _did_ know what they meant, and Hank was determined to get it out of her.

"Did you believe that I wouldn't have her DNA on file, doctor?" he asked. But before Dr. Rao could form another lie or dodge the question, the loud, crushing sound of rock breaking accompanied an explosion of dust, tile and cement from the ground beneath their feet as a body crashed through. Most of them jumped or dived out of the way, Cyclops rolling to the side with a pained grunt to avoid falling into the hole that was left. Or, worse, being landed on by the massive and very unsightly green-skinned brute that had burst through the floor. He hit the ground in front of them with a _thud_. A red cloak swung behind him, the hood casting a slight shadow over his face and there was a strange silver breathing apparatus around his nose. Given his particularly distinct appearance, it didn't take much to recognize him as the man from Breakworld, Ord.

"To think I actually went _looking_ for you," he told them, a smirk on his lips and a crazed look in his eyes. But none of the X-Men responded. In fact, they all looked terrified—or was it _surprise_? Ord definitely took it as the former, "Scared, X-Men?"

Not a single one of them made any move to respond or act. Instead, they stared right _passed_ him where they could clearly see Shadowcat standing with Magik, their hands still clasped together tightly and a stepping disc closing beneath their feet.

"Then maybe it's time we finish this thing," Ord grinned.

"Okay," Logan started, his hidden eyes still locked at the figures just behind the alien's shoulder, "Yeah. Why don't we do that?"

"You." The accusation weighed heavily in Kitty's voice, and Ord spun quickly to face the duo that had seemingly materialized out of thin air, "You're behind this."

Abruptly, the brunette's eyes cut to the body of the other dead mutant, to Dr. Rao and the armed men flanking her, and finally to Scott's bandaged body still laying on the floor, before returning to Ord, anger flashing in their brown depths. " _Why?_ "

Ord had the audacity to laugh at her, "I see you've found your friend."

Illyana wasn't going to stand for that. She quickly stabbed her Soulsword towards him, its sharp point pressing into the tough skin under his chin, "I will _kill_ you, Ord."

Then, she was just as quickly snapping her head in Emma's direction, blue eyes narrowed darkly. Illyana could still vividly remember once having to save Kitty from her, a stressful adventure that had seen her traveling to the wrong point in time _twice_ with Dani Moonstar via her stepping discs before finally saving her best friend. So why was she here, and why were the X-Men acting like it wasn't a problem? Magik bared her teeth, "You! What have you—"

Then it dawned on her. _Emma._ Kitty had mentioned her, but Illyana would have never been able to guess that _that_ was the Emma that she'd been talking about. The blonde glanced at Shadowcat, showing only a glimpse of her obvious confusion and distress over that particular piece of information before Ord was punching at her with what appeared to be a large, round mangled blade. She acted quickly, slashing upwards with her sword and slicing straight through his forearm. Lucky for him, the wound wasn't physical, though his yelp of pain proved that he still felt it as though it _had_ been. 

"Attack me again, creature, and I'll cut it off for real," she warned him. 

"Do you think I'm scared of you?" At the sound of his grating laugh, the loose threads holding back Illyana's rage snapped. The glow of her Soulsword flared like the hatred in her eyes as she gripped the weapon in both hands and sliced across his abdomen. This time, a spray of blood followed her blade and he stumbled back, eyes wide in surprise, as he placed his weaponless hand over his wound. That shut him up.

"You _should_ be," she told him, her voice cold. There was no mercy in her eyes, only rage and a desire for a revenge as she raised the sword high above her head and readied the fatal blow.

Kitty wasn't about to let that happen. All it took was for her to reach out and wrap her fingers around the blonde's bicep, making them both instantly intangible. "Yana," she said, quietly enough so only Magik herself would be able to hear the slight warning in her tone.

"He tortured me, Katya," Illyana told her, an unforgiving note in her voice. But after a moment, she lowered the weapon to her side.

Kitty's grip on her arm loosened as soon as she was certain her best friend wasn't about to murder Ord, though part of her wished she had been able to let her do so. "I know," she whispered, rubbing her hand up and down her upper arm comfortingly instead, "But you don't have to stoop to his level."

"Stooping to his level would be to torture him. His death would be swift and painful, but not torture," Illyana said, as if that was supposed to assure Kitty of anything. But off the look that the brunette gave her, Illyana begrudgingly relented. She let out a deep breath through her nose, nodding slowly. 

As soon as Shadowcat let go of her and her body became tangible again, however, Ord was lunging for revenge with a hateful snarl. He grabbed for her with a bloody hand, using his other one to swing downward with his mangled blade. In a move to save herself, Magik side-stepped with an artful twirl that put her directly behind him. She quickly rotated her Soulsword in her grip and thrust the blade backwards without so much as a glance in Ord's direction. It plunged straight into his back, piercing through him and out his chest; another non-physical attack, but a much harsher one that rendered him unconscious immediately. He fell forward, hitting the ground hard enough to send a cloud of dust into the air. In place of a bleeding wound where she'd stabbed him, there was simply a trail of mystical smoke that rose off him like a stamped out fire. 

Kitty, her jaw clenched tightly, had her hand back on her arm before Illyana could make another move. The other X-Men were staring at her, wide-eyed, and the men behind them had their guns raised at the sorceress as if _she_ was the one who posed the largest threat. Either way, they weren't going to be able to land a single bullet with Shadowcat holding onto her like she was.

"He's only unconscious," Emma announced belatedly, though her tone suggested she would not have minded if that hadn't been the case. But before anyone could say anything else, more men were suddenly swarming through the open door, eyeing the rubble and debris and the large hole in the floor only briefly before each of their gazes settled on an X-Man. Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Nick Fury strode in after them, hands clasped behind his back and a green-haired, green-clad woman at his side. "Good to know. Ord has diplomatic immunity."

Logan swore at length, but the Colonel was unfazed, "That means all of you X-Men walk away. Now."

"Absolutely not," Emma told him, looking at the man as though he'd lost his damn mind. Logan wasn't having that either.

"Yer tryin' to tell me that bastard's a _diplomat_ , Fury?" He spat.

"That information is off limits," the green-haired woman, Special Agent Abigail Brand, spoke up before Fury himself could respond. 

" _Off limits?_ " Kitty demanded, "You had _my best friend_ locked up in this place for _years._ _None_ of us knew she was alive, and the entire time she was being _experimented_ on like a _lab rat_ , and you can't even tell us why an _alien_ was involved? You owe us that and _more_."

"Brand," Fury sighed, "Tell them what they want to know."

Brand looked at him with a mix of uncertainty and annoyance, but more of the latter rather than the former. Still, after a moment of looking them all over, she spoke, "I'm Special Agent Abigail Brand of S.W.O.R.D. We're an off-shoot of S.H.I.E.L.D who deal with all matters involving extra-terrestrial activity." 

"The government and their acronyms..." Beast thought aloud.

"And?" Emma pushed, clearly unimpressed by the woman and ignoring Hank's observation.

"Ord came here to declare _war_. The cure was our way of stalling until we could figure out which mutant is going to destroy his world," Brand explained, crossing her arms over her chest, "What you may see as an unfair price was the only thing stopping a full-scale war between our planet and his."

"Why would the Breakworld want to go to war with Earth?" Kitty asked her, eyes narrowed.

"With their technology, the people on Breakworld can see partial versions of the future. They can't change anything but they can see it and what they saw was their world in complete chaos; destroyed in the near future by a _mutant_ ," She explained, somewhat resigned as she adjusted her green shades,"We had our precogs check it out, and while we don't know exactly _when_ , we _did_ confirm that there is an alarmingly high chance that a mutant will obliterate the Breakworld at some point within the next three years. That's an entire world wiped out because of _one_ mutant, and we believe it's most likely a member of your little merry band of misfits."

Kitty's mouth opened, closed, then opened again. Rage and indignation stewed in her gut. "What does Illyana have to do with any of this?" she finally demanded, her hand inadvertently tightening around her best friend's arm, "You could have _easily_ found yourselves a mutant that was willing to donate the samples necessary to make the cure. You didn't have to keep her here _drugged_ and _locked up_ while none of us knew she was even alive!"

"What's done is done," Brand told her, "Does it really matter _why_ at this point?"

"I very much think it _does_ , 'Special Agent'," Emma interjected, having knelt back down beside the unconscious Cyclops at some point during Brand's explanation, "You've kept one of our own here against her will and we deserve to know why. _She_ deserves to know more than anyone."

"How long were you going to keep her here? The cure is already being administered, you don't _need_ her anymore. How long were you going to go on torturing her?" Kitty added.

"Seeing as how you X-Men have a reputation for being overly-protective of your people, we knew that if you were to find out, you'd likely destroy everything they've done here either intentionally or because you can't seem to control yourselves," was the agent's response, motioning to the unconscious Ord with a lazy wave of her hand, "As you know, we couldn't risk that. The less you knew, the better."

Fuming, Kitty opened her mouth to spout off at the woman but whatever she was going to say was cut short by Illyana, "Why did you need _me_?"

"You won't remember because one of your teammates erased the memories from your mind, but before the invasion of New York you had a time-displaced visitor who transferred the Legacy Virus to you," Brand explained, uncrossing her arms and instead placing them on her hips, "Your magic formed an immunity to it, but enough of it remained in your system that the scientists here were able to extract tissue samples for their cure."

"Fascinating," Hank noted, cupping his furry chin in his equally furry hand, "Using a mutant virus to block the X-Gene..."

Kitty's eyes were narrowed into tight slits that _glared_ at Brand and paid absolutely no mind to the other soldiers clustered around them, "We could destroy this place, you know. Your security's good, but it's not that good. I could phase through the main server and take out every computer in this place. We could kill Ord, destroy the cure, tell the _world_ what you did here. Some of them may not care about mutants, but I bet if I dug deep enough I could find some unwilling human subjects, too."

A smirk forming on her green-painted lips, Agent Brand raised her eyebrows testingly, "Did you just threaten me, Miss Pryde? You'll come to realize I don't take those very lightly, and I _won't_ hesitate to have you taken out before you can even _think_ about using your little ghost act to get yourself out of it."

Logan snarled, the _snikt_ of his claws popping out of his hands soon following. He held his ground, but was very clearly ready to strike if he had to. Illyana, however, wasn't waiting. In one swift move, she lifted her Soulsword, the tip of the blade pointed right between the S.W.O.R.D agent's eyes, "Not if _you_ go first."

But even that didn't wipe the smirk from Brand's face. If anything, it only got smugger as the countless clicks of weapons being cocked and aimed at the blonde echoed all around them. She raised her hand, using her forefinger against the flat side of the blade to push it away from her face, "Take your wounded and go home, X-Men. You have what you wanted and we have a mess to clean up. Be glad I decided not to arrest all of you for interfering with our business."

A tense silence fell over the room for a moment or two before the soldiers lowered their weapons and Emma rose to her feet, "Beast, grab Cyclops, will you? Wolverine, given that our fearless leader is in no condition to do it, you're piloting. Shadowcat, tell your friend to put that away and let's go."

Kitty nodded to Illyana as if to let her know that it was okay and once she had lowered her Soulsword and Hank had carefully pulled Scott over his shoulder, the five of them strode dutifully through the sea of soldiers that parted before them. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The X-Men welcome Illyana home, and her and Kitty have a special reunion of their own.

Kitty was perched on the end of one of the infirmary beds, her back half-turned towards Illyana as the other girl removed the medical gown they had forced her to wear for her examination in exchange for the light sweats the brunette had managed to find for her. Kitty herself was dressed in a pair of cargo pants, white socks and a black tank top, her face drawn in silent contemplation as she waited for her friend to finish.

"I think the others are trying to throw you a party," she told the blonde, a small smile on her face at the thought. She couldn't keep herself from thinking about the fact that she had had to borrow the clothes for Magik from someone else, because the majority of her belongings had either been disposed of or sent back to Russia. Because they had thought she was dead. Because they hadn't even imagined that she might not be, or that she might come back. They hadn't even been the first to _find her_ when she _had_ come back. Instead, she had fallen into the hands of Ord, her life and whatever remained of her innocence once again stripped from her.

Kitty had to bite her lip to keep her eyes from watering, swinging her legs off the edge of the bed as a way of keeping herself occupied. She wasn't waiting long though, because a few moments later Illyana was hopping up onto the bed with her. She settled in beside the brunette, now perfectly snug in the gray sweatpants and navy hoodie she'd been given. 

"A party, huh?" She asked, a little grin creeping across her lips, "They sure didn't waste any time, did they?"

"None at all," Kitty couldn't help but smile back at her, momentarily lost in those stunning blue eyes before she was abruptly sliding off the bed. She held her hand out to her friend, "Ready?"

"Yup," Illyana grabbed hold of Kitty's hand and used it to assist in launching herself off the bed and to her feet. She'd learned a long time ago not to take her freedom for granted, but that didn't make getting it taken from her any easier to handle. It felt so great to be _free_ again, to have her life back in her own hands, that everything she'd done since they'd left the labs, even the smallest things, had been a true gift. 

The pair started towards the infirmary room's sliding door, but the blonde suddenly stopped in her tracks and tightened her grip on Kitty's hand, halting her as well. When the slightly older mutant turned to look at her, Illyana smiled almost sheepishly.

"Katya? I...I didn't get a chance to tell you before, but," She started, struggling for a moment to get the thoughts in her head to form into an actual coherent sentence, "Thank you for getting me out of there."

At that, Kitty did tear up, and she laughed admonishingly at herself as she did. She wasn't usually the type to get so emotional at only the slightest of provocations, but having just discovered that her best friend had actually been _alive_ for the past three years... Kitty figured her reaction was justified. "I'm sorry we didn't find you sooner. Some superheroes we are."

Illyana let the sleeves of the hoodie fall over her hands and she raised one arm, using the soft fabric to brush away the tears just under Kitty's eye, "I don't blame you and you shouldn't, either."

"When did you get so wise?" Kitty wondered, a nostalgic smile tugging at her lips as she reached for the blonde's waist to pull her into a hug that Illyana quickly reciprocated with her arms around the brunette's torso. Shadowcat laid her head against Magik's shoulder, "And so tall?"

"When did you become such a crybaby?" Illyana jested with a teasing smile.

"Hey," Kitty glared at her playfully, "I've had all this bottled up since we lost you. Who else was I going to whine to?"

"Okay, I'll give you that," the Russian's smile grew into a full-blown grin, "No one else is going to listen to all that."

"Brat," Kitty laughed with her, before finally easing out of the embrace, taking just one of her friend's hands instead, "Come on, princess. The ball awaits."

Although they didn't make use of the sorceress's stepping discs to get them from the infirmary to the upper levels, they made good time. Arms swung between their bodies, their laughter echoing down the halls behind them just as it had in the good old days. The mood in the kitchen, where a makeshift banner had been draped across the doorway, "WELCOME HOME ILLYANA" printed in neat, colorful handwriting across it, was no different. 

Scott was at the stove, expertly flipping pancakes — it was too late for even Emma to find a cake for them, and Illyana had always loved pancakes anyway — and sipping from a bottle of ginger ale. Emma stood behind him, one perfectly manicured, now-free-of-blood hand resting lightly on his back as she watched him work. The rest of the team, Hank and Logan, were seated at the kitchen table, grinning at each other over their beer bottles. The Cuckoos, Mindee, Celeste and Phoebe, sat as far away from them as the table would allow, talking quietly amongst themselves and doubtlessly making the other students — and adults — in the room extremely uncomfortable.

They all looked up when the girls arrived, clapping excitedly amongst low whistles and whoops of "Welcome home!".

It was, admittedly, a strange feeling for Illyana. Before she'd supposedly died after saving New York from Limbo's endless hordes, she'd been an outcast. Her teammates had been distrustful of her and sometimes, even afraid. They talked behind her back endlessly, thinking all the while that she'd had no idea of the things they did or said, or the fact that most of them wanted nothing to do with her. After all, how could a demon sorceress ever be one of the "good guys"? The only person she'd ever truly felt connected to back then, aside from her older brother—who she noted was not in the room with them at the moment—was the best friend who had rescued her from Benetech. So to see all of these people gathered here for _her_ , it was a little overwhelming and it took her a few moments to decide that for once, that was a _good_ thing.

With that, Illyana smiled, "Thank you."

"Go on, sit down," Kitty laughed at her, ushering her into the room and towards the chair that Logan kicked out for her, "I'll get us some drinks."

A gesture from Scott told her that someone had procured them a few bottles of soft drink for the celebration, and Kitty went about pouring some for the two of them. Then, she was snagging the stack of pancakes that were already cooked and warm, to carry it over to the main table as well. She slipped into a chair next to Illyana, unable to keep the grin off her face as each of the students came over to talk to her.

The rest of the evening was a mostly-pleasant blur of reconnecting with old faces, one of which was her old New Mutants teammate, Karma, and learning the names of some of the new ones. They'd each brought their own stories to tell, giving her a taste of what had happened while she'd been gone. Bobby Drake told her about the massive snowball fight he initiated in the mansion's courtyard where Emma had fallen—literally—as his first victim. Kitty told her own story about the former White Queen—which Illyana still hadn't heard _that_ tale yet— involving her righteous upset over the woman teaching Ethics, of all classes. The students had complained to her about finding blue fur all over the papers Hank graded for them, and about how hard Scott was on them in the Danger Room. And then there had been the countless retellings on alien invasions that had not been nearly as amusing at the time, and off world adventures, and the stunt Emma had pulled with the Sentinels on orientation day.

Many of the kids — and the adults as well — had gotten so caught up in the stories that they hadn't realized how quickly time had been ticking away. When they had, the teachers had hastily sent the children off to their beds, with reminders about assignments and early morning training sessions that most of them knew were now off the table. The pseudo-celebrity status of their returned teammate had generated such a jubilant atmosphere that all their usual cares didn't seem nearly as significant anymore. Still, the crowd gradually thinned, until the only ones left were the team that had brought Illyana home.

They managed to catch a few moments of silence before Illyana finally asked the question that everyone had been dreading the entire evening, "Why wasn't my brother here?"

And the silence continued. The other five X-Men glanced between each other, the mood getting a lot more sullen very quickly. When it appeared that no one else was going to speak up to tell her what had happened, Logan took it upon himself to do it for them, "Pete's dead, kid."

Illyana could practically fell her heart plummet, could feel a tightness in her chest that came with the sudden constricting of her throat. Yet, somehow, she had suspected it. All the X-Men were here at the mansion, so why wouldn't Piotr have been there? Surely he wouldn't miss out on seeing her, not if he had missed her as much as she'd missed him. That wouldn't have been like him at all. With that, what other explanations _were_ there? She cast her gaze down to the polished wooden surface of the table, "Tell me he was not in pain?"

"No," Scott assured her, reaching over and placing a comforting hand on the blonde's shoulder, "He wasn't in pain, and he gave his life to get rid of the Legacy Virus completely. For everyone."

"That's the way he would have wanted to die," Illyana acknowledged, more for her own benefit than anyone else's. She knew her brother had come here from their childhood home in Russia in order to join the X-Men, in order to be a hero. A death less than heroic would not have been an option for him, and she knew that. The corners of her lips lifted in a slight, but grateful, smile, "Thank you for being honest."

"I took his ashes to Russia," Kitty told her, a trying smile on her lips, "I scattered them over that lake he always talked about. The one he always tried to paint, but said he could never get quite right."

"I don't think there's a single corridor in the mansion that doesn't have one of his paints gracing its walls," Hank added with his own thoughtful smile.

"He was good kid. Helluva thing to do," Logan said, suddenly grabbing for the bottle of whiskey he had brought into the kitchen with him. He jerked the stopper out of its neck, slopped some into his glass, and raised it, "To Pete."

The others echoed his words, raising their own glasses and clinking them against each other's. Most of them threw back the last of the liquid in their cups before setting them back down in front of them. After the brief moment of silence that followed, Emma rubbed her hand across Scott's shoulder gently as she addressed the rest of the group, particularly Hank and Logan.

"We've had quite enough for one night," she spoke, rising from her spot at the table, "I think we should leave them to it. Some of us have responsibilities tomorrow."

"Ah yes, quantum psychics does not teach itself," Beast agreed, pushing his own seat out from the table so he could clamber to his feet, "Logan?"

"I'm comin'," Logan told him, then proceeded to wait for the others to say their good nights. He waited until the rest of the team had left the room, leaving only himself, Kitty and Illyana around the table, before pushing the mostly-full bottle of whiskey across the timber. It stopped just in front of them, and with a nod that could have been more to himself than the two girls, he showed himself out as well.

Kitty grabbed the bottle by its neck, pulled out the stopped, and poured some into her otherwise empty glass. Then, she squinted at her friend, the alcohol still raised in her hand, "How old are you now?"

"I'm..." Illyana hesitated, rolling her eyes up to the ceiling in thought as she went through the math in her head, "Nine...teen?"

Kitty eyed her, saw the way her blue eyes kept inadvertently fixing on the bottle, and laughed. "Close enough," she grinned cheekily at her, filling her cup as well. 

"As _if_ you're any older than _I_ am," Illyana plucked the glass away from the other mutant, a grin of her own crawling across her lips, "Can we move somewhere else? This chair's hurting my butt."

"Of course, princess," Kitty made as if to curtsey, while still being confined to her own chair, then laughed again. She stood, her seat scraping against the tiles as she did so. While Illyana got to her own feet, she leaned against the back of it, the mirth disappearing from her face, "I'm so glad you're back, Yana."

Illyana pushed her chair in with her hip, grabbing the bottle of whiskey by the neck before she turned her body slightly towards Kitty, "Me too."

Kitty reached out towards her, linking her arm through the other girl's and gently tugging her away from the table. Side by side, they walked out of the kitchen and found the nearest living room, a lot more quiet on their journey this time than they had been on their way down. Whether that was more to do with the late hour and their consideration for the other residents or the contemplative silence each of them had fallen into, neither of them could say. Soon enough, they were falling back onto a sofa together, their cups and the bottle on the coffee table before them.

"What did you think of everyone?" Kitty breached the silence once they were comfortable.

"It's kind of weird seeing everyone after all this time," Illyana admitted, slouched slightly, "It was nice seeing them again though. But...I have to ask something."

"What is it?" Kitty asked, reaching for her glass and bringing it to her lips for a cautionary sip.

"Emma."

Kitty's eyes widened at that, not in shock, because the White Queen's presence would arguably be the most confusing thing to her best friend, but at the prospect of having to explain that entire story to her. She set her glass down again, "What about her?"

Illyana tipped her head to the side, squinting her eyes at the brunette like she honestly couldn't believe that she'd just asked her that question.

"So the _whole_ 'Emma deal' then?" Shadowcat grinned. She leaned her head back against the couch with a exaggerated sigh. "That is a long story. "

* * *

An eruption of hysterical laughter echoed down the halls from the living room where Kitty and Illyana still sat, a little more drunk and a lot less serious now that half the whiskey bottle had been consumed. Illyana’s leg was bent and hugged to her chest, the other one still planted firmly on the ground. She had her arm draped over her knee, forehead pressed against the bend of her elbow as her body shook with her laughter. Kitty, on the other hand, was now laying face down on the couch, her face buried in the cushions and her limbs hanging off the sides. Her own body trembled intermittently, as if she was continuously forgetting the reason why she was laughing, only to remember again a second later.

"Shhhh," Kitty spluttered, craning her neck to look back over her shoulder at the blonde, "You'll wake everyone."

" _I'll_ wake everyone?" Illyana hardly managed her mock-offended tone through her laughter as she pushed her foot against the only one of Kitty's legs that still remained on the couch, kicking it off.

Unfortunately for Kitty, the rest of her body followed it. She hit the floor and the rug that dressed it, and a moment of stunned silence followed before she was abruptly howling with laughter once more. She rolled onto her back, her abdomen convulsing under her arms that tried to keep it from exploding with her hysteria. Her tear-filled eyes stared up at the ceiling for a few moments as her body shook, then suddenly she was lurching upright, grabbing hold of Illyana's leg, and jerking her down. The blonde landed right on her rear in front of Kitty, her mouth falling open in an amused shock.

Kitty's arms went around her, draping over her shoulders so the brunette could bury her face against Illyana's neck, hoping to muffle the sounds of her laughter that way. Illyana, not even bothering to try and hold herself up under Kitty's weight, let herself fall backwards as her arms locked around her waist. 

"You're such a dope, Katya," the sorceress laughed, leaning her head against the other mutant's.

" _Your_ dope," Kitty murmured against her neck, suddenly very quiet. She breathed deeply, taking in that familiar burning-pine scent that she had been missing for so long, but had never forgotten. The sudden closeness calmed the blonde down as well, her giggling slowly dying out as the brunette's arms dropped to Illyana's waist, her fingers gently skimming over the naked flesh that their fumbling had revealed. 

"Yeah, you kinda are," the younger girl said, feeling more at ease now than she had all night, grateful that even after all this time, Kitty was still the one that was there with her without a question. She trailed her hands up her back, careful not to disturb Shadowcat's arms as she moved along. They came to rest on her upper back and she tightly hugged her arms around her torso.

Somewhat reluctantly, Kitty had withdrawn her face just enough so that she could rest it on Illyana's shoulder instead. One of her hands drifted up under the bunched up part of her friend's shirt, grasping her side lightly but enough to feel her ribs expanding with each breath. All amusement had gone from her, instead replaced with such a profound sense of contentment that she didn't dare move or speak anymore. She just wanted to feel her best friend there with her, under her, warming her flesh where they touched and filling her nose with the sweet scent that lingered in her silky smooth hair. 

And for a while, they just laid there. Illyana didn’t mind it though; she could have laid there all night, just like that. There had been a lot of nights before the invasion of New York where she’d wished Kitty had held her just like she was now. More than that, she wished that she could have felt her touch on her skin and her breath on her neck in a way that maybe wasn’t simply ‘just friends’. They’d come close to it a few times, or at least Illyana had felt that way, but something or another had always gotten in the way somehow. This was probably another one of those times and this time it’d probably be attributed to just a mix of the alcohol and the happiness of being in each other’s company again. Magik wasn’t stupid, she knew the idea of Kitty seeing her as anything more than her friend was a farfetched fantasy, but that had never made the blonde's longing thoughts or her feelings go away. It was just that as time went on, it got a little easier to bury them and pretend they didn't exist until the next time something pulled them back out again—like right now.

Illyana loosened her arms around Kitty’s back, letting her hands move up and lightly hold on to the back of her shoulders instead. She gently slid the brunette upwards slightly and the sorceress buried her face against her neck. Shadowcat felt her heart speed up just a fraction, felt the blood rise to her cheeks, and the warmth in her gut engulf the rest of her as well. Yet still, she continued to lay there on top of her best friend, a lump in her throat made up of her anticipation of just what she might do next. 

When finally it seemed as though all the blonde was going to do was nuzzle her face against her neck and wash her flesh with her breath, Kitty slowly pushed herself up into a sitting position, folding her legs on either side of the other mutant and self-consciously running her fingers through her own hair. 

"We should probably find you a bed," she suggested with a quiet, sheepish laugh that was born more from the butterflies in her stomach than the alcohol in her bloodstream. Illyana pushed herself up, supporting her body with her hands that pressed against the floor behind her. 

"Can't I just stay with you?" She asked, tipping her head to the side, her overgrown bangs falling over her eyes. She blew them out of her face again, but most of them came right back. She was going to have to cut those eventually.

"Only if you don't mind sharing a bed with me," Kitty ventured as she pushed her hands against the floor to help herself back to her feet, Illyana following suit. Although she hadn't originally meant the offer to be serious, she couldn't deny that there was some appeal in the idea. It sure beat trying to find Illyana an empty room in her none too coherent state, if nothing else.

“When has that ever been a problem?” Illyana half-jokingly questioned as she grabbed their empty glasses from the coffee table, tucking the whiskey bottle under her arm. She made a glance around the rest of the living room, but soon decided she was too tired and too out of it to even try and tidy up anything they might've messed up.

"It's different when one of the people in the bed is six!" Kitty protested, only to quickly resign herself to defeat, "Are you sure you wouldn't rather have some space to yourself?"

“Eventually. But I’ve spent the last three years alone,” Illyana told her as if she actually needed to be reminded of that fact. The smile that crossed her lips as she spoke again was a sad one, "I'd rather not be alone again. Just for tonight, promise."

"Oh Yana," Kitty sighed, drawing her best friend into a hug that was made slightly awkward by all the things the other girl had in her arms. As a result, it ended quickly, and instead Shadowcat was linking her arm through the blonde's to tug her gently in the direction they needed to go, "How could I say no to that?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't," Illyana admitted, the glasses clanging together as she transferred them to the same arm, holding them together with her fingers while her newly-freed hand grabbed for Kitty's.

"There is just one condition," Kitty warned her, their hips bumping against each other as they started down the hallway. A sly smile crept onto her lips, "No shadow puppets."

Although Illyana complained profusely about that on their way to Kitty's bedroom, neither of them were so loud that they had too much of a chance of waking up anyone who was not the lightest of sleepers. Instead, they conversed quietly under their breaths, only once devolving into muffled giggles that made them pause to lean against each other for support. Otherwise, they made it without incident, and as soon as the brunette had changed into her pajamas and Magik had stripped off her hoodie in favor of the white t-shirt underneath, they had slipped under the covers, inexorably drawn to each other in the middle of the bed in such a way that made Kitty's heart start racing yet again.

She leaned over to switch off her bedside lamp, then laid down on her back next to her best friend. Kitty usually slept on her side, but it felt rude putting her back to the blonde, so instead she elected to stare up at the ceiling instead. 

Illyana did the same, her arms crossed loosely over her abdomen, fully taking in that she was finally able to sleep without her arms and legs spread eagle and clamped down on a hard examination table. The feeling of finally being able to lay in a soft bed, with her best friend by her side at that, was indescribable. It felt good to be _home_ , though she wasn't sure if that meant the mansion or simply being in Kitty's company again. Way too tired to contemplate it, Magik sighed contentedly through her nose and laid her head on Shadowcat's shoulder, nuzzling her face against her. Eyes fluttering closed, she whispered, "Spokoynoy nochi*, Katya."

"Night, Yana," Kitty murmured back, gently easing one arm between the blonde's waist and the mattress, pressing her body slightly closer to her own. Despite how exhausted she had felt earlier, she was suddenly very awake, and she didn't think that would be changing any time soon. Instead, she just laid there, listening to Illyana's breathing gradually slow and feeling her body relax against her, thoughts of what had been done to her torturing Kitty's restless mind.

*Goodnight - Translated from Russian 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kitty helps Illyana re-acclimatize to life at the mansion.

The next morning, Illyana had woken up to the sound of Kitty’s light—and a little more adorable than the blonde would admit—snoring, her warm breath wafting over Illyana’s skin. The other girl’s arm was trapped somewhat uncomfortably under her, and, at some point during the night, they’d wound up facing one another. Magik could feel Kitty's other arm resting between them on the bed, very close to her own. For a while the Russian just laid there listening to her breathe, letting it soak in that this was still real and she hadn’t fallen into some delusional, drug-induced dream world as she had countless times during her captivity at Benetech Labs. She really _was_ here and the body asleep next to her _was_ Kitty. 

When her eyes finally fluttered open some time later, it was to Kitty’s beautiful sleeping face nuzzled against the pillow they shared. 

_'Oh, Katya,'_ she thought, unable to help the smile that found its way to her lips at the sight or the undeniable sense of relief that was still lingering around her. Illyana’s fingers started to reach for Shadowcat’s, but she thought better of it and instead balled her hand into a fist, tucking it away against her own hip. Gradually she came to the decision, between her growling stomach and the fact that watching someone sleep was probably relatively high on the creepy list, that she needed to get up. She was careful not to disturb her friend as she sat up and climbed off the bed, making her way across the room to the ensuite bathroom. She closed the door behind her, turning around to come face to face with herself in the mirror for the first time in a long time.

“Proklyatiye*, Illyana,” She muttered under her breath, tugging her overgrown bangs with her fingers. It was worse than she thought. Blue eyes danced between the mirror and her hair until they finally cut away to one of the bathroom drawers. Hoping Kitty didn’t mind, the blonde started rummaging through each one, pushing aside various hygienic items, hair ties, brushes, makeup and whatnot until she came to a pair of scissors. Grinning in silent victory, she leaned over the sink and stared at her unkempt appearance in the reflective glass. She used her free hand to adjust her bangs and as soon as they were where she thought she wanted them, she started cutting. Locks of silky, blonde hair fell into the sink bowl only to be washed down the drain once Illyana was finished with her work. 

She shook her head and rubbed her hands violently through her hair, shaking the loose hairs from her head. Then, she examined herself in the mirror again. _'Good enough.'_   

* * *

A hot shower and a raid of Kitty’s closet later, Illyana was sitting at the kitchen table in a black Beatles t-shirt and pair of blue pants littered with cartoon pineapples, neither of which fit her very well and both made her wish she’d actually turned on the light to see just what she’d dressed herself in _before_ she’d left the room and people had seen her. Now she sat at the dining table where she’d been for at least a half hour, most of which had been spent trying to figure out what she wanted for breakfast. Eventually she’d settled on plain vanilla ice cream and, opting not to wake up Kitty just yet, had stayed in the kitchen against her better judgment. Judgment that she wished she’d actually paid attention to once the triplets—they’d been called the “Cuckoos”, right?—entered the room and disrupted the little happy place she’d found there. It wouldn’t have been so bad if it hadn’t been for the fact that their gazes had been boring into her from the second they walked through the doorway, with none of them even once saying a word.  

They grabbed their own breakfast and sat down at the far end of the table, talking amongst themselves. Their glacial blue eyes never left Illyana the entire time ,and she wasn’t liking the sudden feeling of familiarity that that brought on. It hadn’t been the first time she’d been “unknowingly” talked about while she was _right there_. Regardless, she ignored them, turning her face to her ice cream as she shoveled another spoonful into her mouth. But no matter how hard she tried to pretend they weren't there, she could feel their gazes burning into her, prompting her to look back up at them again. They didn’t even bother trying to hide that they’d been staring at her.   

“Is there a problem?” Illyana asked, closing her lips around another scoop of the definitely-not-breakfast food. None of them responded, simply continuing to glare at her. The Russian shrugged her shoulders, taking another bite of her food.  

The awkward silence continued until she got up to put her bowl in the sink and grab a clean one from the cabinet, dropping a spoon from the silverware drawer down beside it on the marble counter. She made a beeline for the refrigerator to pull out a tub of cookie dough ice cream, the chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and a jar of cherries and then sat it all out by the bowl before digging through the cupboard for a pack of rainbow sprinkles.   The Cuckoos finally spoke when she started scooping the ice cream into the bowl and topping it with all the things she’d set out. 

“Why can’t,” Celeste started.  

“We read,” Mindee continued.   

“Your mind?” Phoebe concluded. 

Illyana's eyebrows dipped slightly, running her tongue over her teeth on the left side of her mouth. She wasn’t sure whether she appreciated the bluntness of their confession or if it made her mad that, had they been able to, they would have entered her mind without her permission. There was very little in her life that she had control of, at least the ability to allow—or not so much—a telepath into her mind gave her a little control over _part_ of it, “Because I don’t want you to.”   

“Only people who,”  

“Have something to hide,” 

“Close off their minds,”  

“Some people just don’t like nosey neighbors,” Illyana told them pointedly as she snatched up the bowl of ice cream and stabbed the spoon into it. Without another word —and leaving them looking rather appalled at the statement— she quickly made her way out of the kitchen. She glanced over her shoulder, brows furrowed and her lips pressed into a line, “And people called _me_ weird?”

* * *

While Illyana had been enjoying —or not so much— that little adventure, Kitty had slept on, not even the numbness in her arm, the sound of the shower running or her suddenly-emptier bed rousing her from her alcohol-induced slumber. In fact, it wasn’t until she started shivering that her mind dragged her back into the realm of the living. At first, she was barely awake enough to do more than groan and reach for the quilt that had been kicked down to the end of the bed, but then, as she lost feeling in her feet and her stomach started rumbling, she became more aware. Pulling her feet up so she could rub some life back into them with her hands, it took Kitty a second to realize that there should have been someone else in the bed with her, and that that person was no longer there.   

She sat up, heart hammering and eyes wildly searching her bedroom for any signs of life. In the bright sunlight that was trying to break through her curtains, Kitty could make out some dark lumps on the floor in front of it that she guessed to be clothes. The door to her bathroom also stood open, bringing her to the conclusion that Illyana was already awake, up and about.  

With a sigh, she flopped back down onto the bed, just as the very blonde she had been looking for pushed her way into the room, a bowl of something cradled in the crook of one arm. 

"Hey," Kitty grinned at her, somewhat grudgingly pushing herself back up into a sitting position, "I thought I must have dreamed that you were back."

"Can't get rid of me again that easy, Katya," Illyana grinned right back as she plopped down onto the bed, almost spilling everything out of the bowl when she did, "I brought you ice cream."

Kitty's eyebrows dipped incredulously, a grimace forming on her face despite how thoughtful the gesture was— she could even see all her favorite toppings. "It's seven in the morning, Yana."

"It's ten and who cares," Illyana told her, pushing the bowl into the brunette's hands.

"It's _ten_?!"

"Who cares!" the younger mutant reiterated, bending her knees and hugging her legs to her chest, "Eat!"

A little disgruntled that so much of the day was already behind her, the brunette pursed her lips. "You bring out the worst in me," Kitty finally glared at her friend, nevertheless dropping her gaze to her "breakfast". Her stomach growled again, and she dug her spoon into the mess.

"I think you meant 'best'," Illyana grinned at her, crossing her eyes along with it.

Before she could even bring the spoon up to her mouth, Kitty was laughing and rolling her eyes, giving the blonde's leg a playful shove just for good measure. "What did you do to your hair?" she wondered.

"I cut it," Magik told her through her own laughter, reaching up to tug at her bangs, "Like it?"

"Your fringe is wonky," Kitty told her, pointing her spoon at the hair in question as soon as she had taken the first bite. She moaned at the taste, "I feel some cavities coming on."

"Well, that sounded like they're gonna be worth it," the blonde teased her, leaning back slightly so that her feet came off the mattress, then she rocked forward again.

With another spoonful already half way to her mouth — Kitty was really shovelling it down — Shadowcat paused, her eyes widening once more, "What are you _wearing_?"

"I got it from _your_ closet, so _you_ tell _me_ ," Illyana said, stretching out her legs and leaning back, the t-shirt raising up to reveal her belly button, "They don't even fit!"

"Maybe you shouldn't have grown so big, then!" the brunette glared at her, pointedly ignoring the rest of her accusation. 

"Don't turn this around on me, Pryde," she jokingly shot right back, "It's not my fault I got taller, but this wardrobe malfunction is no one's fault but your own."

"I can't defend those pants," Kitty started, "But don't you dare stretch that shirt. I stayed up all night bidding on eBay for that."

"I know," Illyana grinned, leaning back against the headboard and laying her arms across her stomach, "I helped you drink the giant bottle of soda you had to keep yourself awake, remember?"

"Helped me drink it?" Kitty scoffed, "You chugged it and left me barely any!"

"It was a coping mechanism," the blonde explained, trying to keep her grin off her face, "Watching you bid was very stressful."

"Only because you promised that if I went over my budget, you would chip in," the other girl grinned back at her, grabbing a cherry by its stalk and popping it into her mouth.

"I think I'd spent all my money on that video game I bought for you, but I felt bad because I knew you really wanted that shirt," Illyana recalled, turning her body slightly to look at her friend.

"Why did I ever let you spend so much money on me?" Kitty mused, an affectionate smile gracing her lips, "You spoil me."

"Not like you had a choice," the sorceress pointed out with a laugh, "I would have done it even if you told me not to and you know it."

"I guess that makes it my turn to spoil you now, right?" the brunette asked slyly, twisting her body to set her bowl down on her night stand. She stretched her legs out in front of her, pushing down on her thighs while she announced, "We're going shopping. As soon as I fix your hair."

* * *

"I think that is every decent clothing store here," Kitty told her friend as they exited yet another shop, laden with so many shopping bags that their arms bulged out from their sides and the brunette wondered how they had even been able to look at anything else. She could feel her arms stretching towards the ground, could feel the tension in her biceps as if she'd just been doing weights with Logan, and the ache in her feet as if Scott had just drilled her through a marathon.

"We ready to go?" she asked, turning to Illyana, whose amateur-cut hair was looking much, much better now.

"Yup!" The blonde exclaimed, lifting up the bags as if she needed to check, "I think this is _more_ than enough."

"So back to the mansion?" Kitty ventured. Illyana had been dreading that question all afternoon. She cast her gaze off the side, chewing on the inside of her cheek as she debated whether or not she wanted to bother her friend by keeping her out longer than she wanted to be. 

"You can if you want," She told her sincerely, throwing a smile in her direction, "I think I'm gonna hang around town for a while first."

Kitty felt her eyebrow twitch up at that, though the movement was barely obvious. Her best friend may have been missing for over three years, but she still knew when something was up. Rather than ask her about it, however, the brunette opted to wait to see if she would say something herself first.

"I can't just leave without you," she pointed out, playfully nudging her shoulder against Illyana's, "What if you fake-die again?"

"I'll find my way back eventually. I always do," Illyana gave her a small grin that time, "I know you're tired, Katya. It's okay if you want to go home."

"No, if my best friend wants to hang out some more, then hang out we shall," she gave a determined nod, "But we are definitely putting this stuff in the car first. I think my arms are going to fall off."

Illyana's grin grew wider and she leaned over to whisper to the brunette, "Bathroom and I'll port us out?"

"Illyana Rasputin, you know the way to my heart," Kitty grinned back at her, nodding in the direction of the bathrooms, "That way."

* * *

Illyana pushed the car door shut after all the bags had been packed inside, leaning against it and crossing her arms loosely over her chest. While in the bathroom, she'd changed out of the outfit Kitty had taken from another student that was more Illyana's size and had instead dressed herself in a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a black leather jacket. 

"Annnd that's everything," She said, bending her leg back slightly and tapping the asphalt with the tip of her new pair of boots.

"So where to now?" Kitty asked her, leaning back beside her friend and trying not to look as exhausted as she felt, "You hungry?"

"Kind of," Illyana leaned her head back against the car, appreciating the phasing mutant's willingness to stay out with her more than she'd probably ever know, "Are you?"

"Always," Kitty grinned, "Did you have anything in mind that you want to do?"

"Anything that's not going back yet," Magik told her, turning her head to look at the other girl. She had a few ideas, of course, but, "What do you think?"

"Are you going to tell me why you'd rather stay out than go back to the school?" the other mutant suddenly asked, her eyebrows raised as if to dare Illyana to pretend she didn't know what she was talking about. 

"I can't just wanna spend the day out with my best friend?" Illyana stalled, knowing full and well that Kitty wasn't going to drop it that easily. 

The look the brunette gave her told her the answer to _that_ , and Shadowcat nodded towards the passenger seat. With a simple, "Get in," Kitty pushed herself off the car and rounded it to get into the driver's side. As soon as they were both seated, she twisted around to look at her friend, "Spill."

Illyana lifted both of her legs, grabbing on to her ankles and pulling them into the seat with her so that the bottoms of her feet touched and her knees pointed outwards. Her fingers idly played with the laces of her boots, her blue eyes trying to decide whether she wanted to watch her hands or look at Kitty. After a moment or two she decided on the latter, turning her body slightly so her back could lean partially against the door. 

"I ran into the Cuckoos this morning," She started, but on the look that suddenly flared in Kitty's eyes, she was quick to tack on, "They didn't really _do_ anything to me, besides, you know, creeping me out a little — and that's coming from _me_ — but it kind of reopened some old wounds, I guess."

Kitty nodded along, internally cringing at the thought of what the Cuckoos could have said to remind her friend of her days with the New Mutants. Truthfully, the brunette had never known the full story there either, but Illyana had come into the room they had shared with such a dejected expression on her face so often that it would have been hard to assume that _nothing_ had been going on. She urged Magik to continue. 

Illyana nodded, taking a breath through her nose and letting it out just the same. She lifted her hand up to her head, pushing her fingers through her hair, but her eyes never left her friend's, "They just kept staring at me and whispering to each other and it brought a lot back."

The blonde leaned her head against the headrest of the seat, "When I was on the New Mutants, they used to do the same thing. I don't think they knew that I knew, but it was pretty obvious and I overheard them a lot. I don't think they liked me very much, and I know they didn't trust me. They took a lot of opportunities to let me know it, too."

"I remember you telling me some of the things Rahne said to you," Kitty told her, leaning across the middle of the car to take her friend's hand, "But they were kids, Yana. No one thinks that about you now. We know better. The Cuckoos are just... the Cuckoos. They don't trust anyone that isn't Emma or each other."

Illyana attempted a smile, but it got lost somewhere along the way, falling into a small frown instead, "I couldn't care less what the Cuckoos think or don't think of me, it's not about them. It's about the others. You know last night, when all those people were talking to me?"

"Yeah?" Kitty prompted her, a slight crease between her eyebrows at the thought of where this might be going. 

At first, Illyana thought she had it. She was going to go into this conversation and have complete control over it. But thinking things over before she said them had never really been her strong point, it was something that had gotten her into trouble a lot when she was on the New Mutants and it definitely wasn't helping her now. She had a lot she wanted to say and a million different ways to say them, but as she dropped her gaze to the hand that was still playing with her laces, the most prominent thought in her mind came out in a voice that was quiet and mildly frustrated, "No one cared enough to do that until after they thought I'd died." 

"Illyana, that's not—" Kitty started to protest, only to have all her arguments die on her lips before she had a chance to voice them. Her automatic response was to defend her teammates, but suddenly they seemed completely without defence. She had no justification to offer for them, nor for herself. In all her excitement at having her best friend back, she had forgotten just how... not friendly she had been towards her in her last months of life. 

Her younger self had known, though had chosen to ignore, the fact that she had practically been Illyana's only friend since the Russian had come to the mansion. She had moved to London and joined Excalibur, effectively abandoning the blonde under the pretence that she could no longer stand to be near where the X-Men had died. She had left her knowing the others on the New Mutants didn't appreciate her, barely even _liked her_ , and thought she was justified. She had told herself that it would force Illyana to make other friends instead of putting so much stock in her, instead of making her happiness solely contingent on Kitty herself.

When she had died, she had blamed herself, yet at the same time had rejected Illyana's Soulsword when it had come to her at the lighthouse.

Kitty felt that guilt again now, and it was all she could do to squeeze her hand and softly whisper, "I'm sorry."

Illyana's gaze diverted then to their intertwined hands instead, returning the squeeze as she tried a little more successfully this time to give the the brunette a smile, "It's not your fault, Katya. You don't need to apologize for them."

The Russian finally dropped her laces and brought the hand up to her face to tuck her hair behind her ear. The thumb on her other hand brushed over Kitty's, giving herself something to do as she continued, "I've always known, I think. I was on the team, but I was never really part of them and the few times that I thought I _was_ didn't last. It was like walking on eggshells and if I messed up, I was right back where I started. No one outside of them had much to do with me, either, but I got used to it and it was okay, I guess. But last night...it was nice of them to do that but after I thought about it, it felt...I don't know. Like just a stunt?"

"We did care, Illyana," Kitty spoke up, still trying — despite how futile it now felt — to convince the blonde that it hadn't all been for show, "Piotr was furious when you didn't come back. He called me up, crying — you know how he cried, all blubbery so you barely knew what he was saying," she added with a sad laugh, "Anyway, he was crying that no one was trying hard enough to get you back, that they had never cared enough to help you in the first place. Kurt and I ported back to the mansion and he was yelling at everyone. I think he was about to _kill_ Rahne and Sam. Scott wasn't happy with them either, though... Obviously he had his own issues to deal with at that time as well, with Madelyne and Nathan and, you get the idea. And all your teammates cried at the funeral we had for you. Dani even got up to say something."

"I think they all knew that they had been awful to you. They regretted it, but it was too late to take it back," she told her, gently removing her hand from the blonde's to lift it to her chin instead, tilting her head up so their eyes could meet, "But I don't think everyone was just trying to make up for that last night. They were actually _happy_ that you were home."

"You think?" Illyana asked, still skeptical yet trusting that her best friend wasn't feeding her a lie just to make her feel better. 

"Yeah," Kitty nodded, before twisting in her seat and leaning across the center console to pull Magik into a somewhat awkward hug that the blonde quickly returned and nuzzled her face into the older mutant's neck.

"Thank you, Katya," she muttered against her, teasingly adding,"I guess you're not the only one that turned into a big baby, huh?"

Shadowcat let out a light laugh at that, her arms tightening around Illyana and her hands rubbing her back. "I think your reason is better than mine," she told her, "I'm sorry I went to England without you."

"You're here now, aren't you?" Illyana pointed out, though the memory of Kitty's departure despite her younger self's pleas for her not to leave did sting a little. But just as her words had implied, the blonde had forgiven her a long time ago.

"And I'm not leaving you again."

 _* Damn - Translated from Russian_


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kitty and Illyana's day together continues, and some harmless fun leads Shadowcat into uncharted territory.

"Whatever you want," Kitty had said in response to Illyana's question about what to do next. "Whatever you want." Little had she known that what the Russian had been craving was a pizza and some arcade games, or that where that desire would take them would be none other than the largest Chuck E. Cheese in the city. She wasn't sure that _that_ would have been _her_ first pick if she was to be suddenly found herself free from over three years of captivity and non-consensual experimentation, but she supposed it worked as well as anything. And she _had_ offered to do whatever the blonde wanted, after all. Now there they were, seated on blue cushioned benches, surrounded by squealing children that begged their parents for more tokens and complained about not having enough tickets to get the talking duck piggie bank, drenched in the aroma of greasy, yet oh-so-delicious pizza, and almost completely unable to hear each other over the music of the arcade machines. 

Kitty wiped her oily fingers off on a napkin and reached for her drink, poking the straw in her mouth and looking about them as she sipped from it. Perhaps it hadn't been the best idea on a Saturday night, yet the brunette would admit that she was mildly surprised at how good the food was and how much fun all those flashing machines actually looked. 

"Decided on what you're going to play first?" she asked her companion, raising her voice just loud enough to be heard across the table.

"Skee ball and pinball look fun," the youngest of the duo mused, taking a rather large bite out of her pizza slice. While chewing, she noticed a woman a little older than them and accompanied by two small children staring at them from across the dining area like she was appalled that two girls in their late teens were having a night out in a place aimed primarily at children. Or maybe she recognized them as mutants, who knew, really. Either way, it didn't stop Illyana from raising her eyebrows testingly at the mother, who turned back to her children in a huff. 

Kitty twisted around in her seat to follow her friend's gaze, but the mother was already walking away, her attention on her kids. She turned back to Illyana with a frown on her face, "What?"

"She was staring at us," the blonde said simply, taking another bite of her pizza.

"Oh. So skee ball and pinball, huh?" Shadowcat repeated, "Why those two?"

Illyana shrugged her shoulders, "I wanna throw and smash things."

"I wouldn't say either of those are exactly 'smashing'," Kitty frowned dubiously, "We could have just done a sim in the Danger Room if that was what you wanted."

"You smash the buttons and the arms smash the ball, I call that 'smashing'," she pointed out, fishing her straw into her mouth with her tongue and taking a long sip of her soda.

"Is tonight going to end with us getting kicked out of Chuck E. Cheese, Yana?" the brunette raised her eyebrows.

"Are you going to care if it does?" Illyana's grin was small but devious.

"Well, I do have an image to maintain. I don't think my picture on the front page of the Daily Bugle would go over very well with Scott. He's all about the PR, lately," Kitty mused, a smirk tugging at her own lips.

"Well that's boring," the blonde pouted, almost poking herself in the eye when she blew the straw out of her mouth.

The slightly older mutant shrugged, running her fingers over her hair, "It's not like it can hurt any. You ready to play?"

"Yup," she replied, wiping her hands off with a napkin before hopping up from the bench. She reached out and grabbed Kitty's hands, pulling her to her feet, "Let Cyke worry about PR, let's have fun."

"Sounds good to me," Kitty grinned at her, scooping their cup of tokens off the table. Her eyes roved the play area, searching for the machines her best friend had mentioned, "Look! Skee ball is free! Go go go!"

Illyana dashed across the room to the far wall where all the Skee ball machines were lined up. Most of them were taken, but the one in the far corner had been freed by a kid dragging his dad away to the next game that caught his eye. She turned to Kitty, "Quick, give me a token."

She fished one out of the plastic cup and pressed it into the blonde's hand before stepping back to give her some space. Beaming, Illyana bent over to push the token into the slot, activating the machine that filled the air with its jaunty tune and bathed their faces with its flashing multi-colored lights. Magik glanced over her shoulder at Kitty, smiling excitedly as the balls rolled into their place to her side. She grabbed two of the dense, brown spheres and tossed one of them to her friend before she took a stance at the end of the ramp. She rolled her shoulder, drew her arm back, and tossed the ball a little too hard. Luckily for her, it only bounced on the ramp once before rolling smoothly and launching up into one of the lower holes, "Aww man."

As soon as Illyana had moved out of the way, Kitty stepped up to the plate, tongue poking out between her teeth as she lined up her shot. The ball skidded up the ramp, bounced off the edge, and dropped into the second largest ring. It rolled briefly until it fell into the hole, updating their score with a tune slightly too happy for the lousy shot. The next few tries were just as bad despite their efforts, and the amount of tickets that printed out of the machine at the end of their round was pitiful. 

"Well that got us absolutely nothing," Illyana grumbled, holding up the short trail of tickets in her hand.

"Look how many that little kid got!" Kitty exclaimed, still managing to keep her voice low enough so that only Magik would hear her, while pointing discreetly at the young boy on the machine beside them.

"I thought you were good at this stuff," the Russian whispered harshly, poking Shadowcat roughly in the side with her elbow, "We got shown up by a child!"

"Hey! I haven't played in years!" she argued back, promptly shaking out half of their tokens into her hand and offering them out to the blonde, "Here. Divide and conquer. Whoever wins the most tickets gets to choose the prize."

"Deal," Illyana closed her hand around the pile of tokens and stuffed them into her jacket pocket. She gave her friend one last grin before she started looking for something she actually had a chance at beating—or at least scoring higher than she had at Skee ball. She brought her fist up to her mouth, biting down on her thumb nail in thought. Then, she saw it: Whack-A-Mole. She turned back to Kitty, "Meet you back at our table when we run out of tokens?"

"Deal," Kitty grinned at her for just a second before making a beeline for the Deal or No Deal game, which no one else seemed to have touched in God knew how long.

Illyana fished a token out of her pocket as she approached the Whack-A-Mole machine, popping it in once she stepped up to it. She lifted the soft hammer from its place, gripping it in one hand and readying it. She was just about to swing it down to hit the first mole, when someone grabbed the end of it. 

"Katya!" She exclaimed with a laugh, twisting around without letting go of the hammer and coming face-to-face a little too close with the person who'd startled her, "I thought we were— _oh_." 

It wasn't Kitty. In fact, it wasn't anyone she knew. The male, roughly her age, maybe a little older, had a smirk on his face and his hands raised as if to plead his own innocence, "Woah, careful there cowgirl."

"Maybe you shouldn't sneak up on people," Illyana warned, pulling her hammer back from him, mildly annoyed that she'd wasted a token thanks to this guy and now Kitty had a one-up on her in the ticket department.

"I was just trying to point out that it's a lot easier with two people," he told her, not so subtly pressing his chest up against the front of her shoulder as he leaned around her to hit one of the moles on the table. Illyana smirked then, though definitely not for the same reason he probably wanted her to. Maybe this wasn't going to be a waste of a token after all.

"Okay," she said, twisting around between him and the game. She folded her arms at the edge of it, leaning forward, "Show me then."

He grinned, stepping closer to the machine and trapping the blonde between it and his body. He closed his hand around the one she was holding the hammer with, moving it so it hovered over the board and smacking down on yet another mole. The round had yet to truly start up, yet a few tickets were already dispensing from the slot. "You use the hammer and take that side," he told her, gesturing to the left, "I'll take this side."

Illyana grinned, tightening her hand around the hammer's handle and waiting for the next one to pop up. When it did, she dropped the face of the soft mallet down on the mole's head, scoring another few tickets for herself. Together with the male, Illyana pounded each one that sprung up, diligently defending her side of the table just as her new acquaintance was, receiving ticket after ticket for their efforts. 

On the other side of the room, Kitty's own game had ended, leaving her with a small pile of tickets which she quickly folded up and inserted into one of her pockets. She grabbed the cup of tokens off the floor by her feet and turned, looking to see what her best friend had gotten up to. She didn't see her at first, her eyes passing over the couple on the Whack-a-Mole table without a second thought, only to drag back there a moment later. The brunette felt her jaw clench at the sight, though part of her tried to insist that it was nice that Illyana was getting some attention. Her gut wasn't buying it, and as their game ended in a multitude of bright flashing lights and the whirring of the ticket dispenser, it only got worse. She saw Illyana turn, the guy's hands going to her hips as she exclaimed over the their winnings.

She felt her legs carrying her towards them before she was aware of consciously telling them to. She crossed her arms as she came to a stop beside them, a smile on her face that was trying to be playful but ultimately failed. "Cheater."

"Katya!" The tone in Illyana's voice was slightly more excited than it should have been, grateful for her presence after being stuck with the guy she didn't even know the name of. Now that the game was over, he really had no business being there anymore but somehow she doubted it'd be that easy to shoo him away. The blonde shook her head, "He interrupted me and I made him fix it so I didn't fall behind you."

"You can't be complaining about so many tickets," the male put in, tearing off the strip that had finally finished printing, and presenting them to the blonde with a slight, mocking bow of his head, "My lady."

Illyana smiled, plucking them from his hands and showing her winnings to her friend, "Not bad, huh?"

"Yeah," Kitty forced a smile, only to have it drop from her face soon after. 

The guy behind her best friend was squeezing her hip, trying to get her attention back onto him, "We should play again."

"The same game twice? That's boring," Illyana stated as she stepped out of the man's grip, a little irritated that he'd put his hands on her in the first place. Her attention was fixated on Kitty instead, "Katya, are you okay?"

"I think she's just angry that you have more tickets than she does," the male spoke up _again_ , "Stick with me, and we'll win you the top prize."

It was Kitty's turn to step forward then, putting herself closer to Magik than the guy was. Something in her stomach was churning furiously, and she could practically hear her pulse in her ears. "She said no." 

He looked a little shocked at the firm statement, but wasn't making any effort to remove himself from their presence. Illyana moved to Kitty's side, turning her body back towards the guy. She wasn't stupid and she definitely wasn't naive, she knew what he was doing but she figured the longer she showed her disinterest in the form of feigned innocence, the faster he'd go away. Hopefully. She tipped her head to the side slightly, "Besides, it wouldn't be fair with two against one, now would it?"

"That's true," the guy admitted grudgingly, forcing a smile on his face the same way Kitty had just moments ago, attempting to bow out gracefully while he still could. He took a step back, half turning his body to walk away, one hand raised slightly as if to wave, "Good luck."

Illyana, quite frankly, didn't care enough to humor him with a response and when he went on his way, she turned to Kitty. With a change of heart about her antic, blue eyes fell to the tickets in her own hands, silently counting them as her fingers touched each one to keep track. When she'd determined the halfway mark, she ripped it in two and handed one line to the brunette, "Here. I guess that was kinda cheating."

Kitty fingered the little pink rectangles only briefly before pushing the strip back into the blonde's hand. "No, it's okay, you keep them. You'll just have to help me win some now. Whack-A-Mole, or is that too boring?" she teased.

She didn't wait for an answer before she was skirting around Illyana to get to the machine before anyone else could, beckoning her over with a quick wave of her hand, her fingers poised and ready to insert a token. There was still an unsettled, heavy kind of feeling in her chest, but she ignored it. "Ready?"

"Wait, wait!" Illyana exclaimed, closing the distance between them quickly and stepping up behind the other mutant. She leaned into her, turning her head to grin at the brunette, "Ready! You take the left, I take the right."

Kitty's reflexes were a lot better than the male's had been, and to her the game seemed almost agonisingly slow to start with, to the point where she found herself reaching across to Illyana's side as well. At least that gave her something else to concentrate on besides the thoughts spiralling through her head. Amidst all the pounding hands and the giggling that erupted from their mouths whenever they both went for the same mole, Kitty finally found her voice, "That guy was cute."

Illyana scrunched up her nose in mild disapproval, shrugging her shoulders as she pushed her body against Kitty's back in order to reach one of the moles that was a tad out of her reach, "Ehhh, if you say so."

"Hey, come on," the brunette protested, "He was totally into _you_."

"He was pushy and smelled funny," the sorceress replied simply, smacking down another mole and reaching for another before Kitty could get it instead.

"That one was on my side!" Kitty hollered, purposefully pushing her back up against the other mutant to nudge her away from the table, pulling a laugh from the blonde. Despite all that movement, however, there was a part of her that was secretly glad that that had been her friend's answer. It was wrong of her, really. She should have been glad if Illyana _had_ had some interest in someone, which was why she kept pushing her on it.

"There are guys that aren't pushy and don't smell funny at the mansion, you know," she told her matter-of-factly, "And I'm sure there are some guys around here, too."

"So?" Illyana asked, genuinely confused about why the brunette was suddenly pressing the subject.

" _Sooooooo_ , you've just made it back into the real world, and you're nineteen and boys are _looking at you_ and you should be grabbing them while you can!" Kitty told her, accompanied by the sound of more flashing lights and cheerful music as the game finally ended. 

She twisted her body around, putting her back to the game table and looking up at her best friend while the machine continued to whir, printing off their tickets, "What better way to celebrate your... rebirth, than by getting your first kiss?"

Illyana placed her hands on either side of her best friend, cocking her head to the side slightly as she shifted all of her weight onto one leg. She furrowed her brow, playing off Kitty's words like she _hadn't_ thought about it. She had, of course, just...well, she was sure the other mutant wouldn't have appreciated it all that much and the blonde was not about to tell her. Instead, she pushed her lips to one side of her face and shook her head, "Nah. I have better things to do."

"What would that be?" Kitty asked her, tilting her head exactly like the blonde had done, and giving her playful smile. 

Illyana's lips slowly morphed to mirror Shadowcat's expression, her eyes admiring those stunningly gorgeous brown ones for a moment before she full out grinned, "Not kissing boys."

"Kissing girls?" the older mutant raised her eyebrows, only to interject again before Magik could answer, "You _can't_ expect me to believe that you don't find a single person at the school attractive."

"I didn't say I didn't," the Russian pointed out, releasing the edge of the game table and instead pushing her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket. Her gaze deviated from Kitty's then, finding _anything_ else to look at besides the other girl.

"So you do!" Kitty cried excitedly, despite the roiling in her gut, "Illyana! Tell! Who is it?"

"I'm not telling!" Illyana laughed, tipping her head back to look up at the ceiling instead. She supposed she could have lied. It definitely would have saved her the trouble of what would undeniably end up with Kitty's relentless prodding, but her brain to mouth filter hadn't worked since she was a child and the words had gotten out before she could stop them. Now it was a matter of keeping herself out of an even _bigger_ mess.

"Yana!" Shadowcat wailed again, "You are not getting away with that! I tell you everything!"

"Nooo, it's embarrassing," the blonde cried, side-stepping away from Kitty and attempting to move around the game machine as if that was going to help her at all, "I can't tell you."

Kitty grabbed her friend's arm, digging her heels into the ground to try and halt her in her tracks, moaning at her all the while, "But Illyaaaannnaaa! Are you at least going to _do_ something about it?"

"Nope!" Illyana hollered over the loud jingle of whatever machine was next to them, trying to vain to get her arm away from Shadowcat.

"Why?" Kitty demanded.

"'Cause I can't," the blonde responded, mentally rolling her eyes so hard at herself she might as well have fallen over and died. So much for staying out of a bigger mess.

"Why _not_?" the older girl pressed again, completely oblivious to the stares they were starting to get.

"Because I've been "dead" for three years," Illyana lied, but tacked on a small bit of truth to the end, "and it's complicated."

Kitty narrowed her eyes at her, disbelieving, untrusting, not entirely sold on what Magik was trying to push on her as the truth, and whether, _even if it was_ , it constituted a good enough excuse. After a few more moments of deliberation, she decided to stop torturing her friend and drop it, "Fine. But I am not forgetting about this."

"I can hope," Illyana teased her, relieved that that had seemed to do the trick for now. She yanked Kitty towards her and rounded back to the front of the game table, "Grab our tickets, short-stuff."

The other girl pursed her lips at her and scowled, but nevertheless snatched the tickets from the machine and folded them up, "What next?" 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite such a long day, Kitty finds herself unable to fall asleep, and eventually, with the help of a little purple dragon, manages to convince herself to talk to Illyana about how she's feeling.

It was late by the time Illyana and Kitty made it back to the mansion and managed to slug the day's earnings inside and up to Shadowcat's room. When they finally arrived there, Emma Frost was waiting for them, arms crossed.

"About time the two of you decided to show up," she told them, raising a well-groomed eyebrow at the pair.

"I missed you too," Kitty rolled her eyes, dumping the bags she carried at her feet. Illyana's quiet chuckle brought a smile to her face before she regained her composure, "Did something happen?"

"We arranged a room for Miss Rasputin while you were off gallivanting around," the White Queen informed them, actually managing a very small smile after her initial pointed glare at the brunette, "Scott said the two of you would prefer to be near each other, so her quarters are right down the hall."

Kitty was genuinely surprised at that — and maybe also a tiny bit disappointed that Illyana had her own room already. Maybe Scott and Hank would have been so thoughtful, but Emma? She definitely hadn't expected that, and especially not when finding Magik a room was something she should have been doing herself, "Thank you."

"Of course, darling," Emma replied, her glacial eyes lingering on Kitty a moment longer than she should have. They briefly darted to Illyana, then back to Shadowcat before her blue-painted lips formed an almost devilish smirk. She uncrossed her arms as she stepped around them, placing her hand on Kitty's shoulder, "You really should do something about that, dear. It's quite unbecoming."

And with that, the telepath was sauntering off down the hall, presumably to join the rest of the older X-Men, or maybe Scott. Who knew, and who cared? Once she was out of sight, it was Illyana's turn to cock an eyebrow, "Uhh?"

Kitty was too busy glaring after Emma to notice the expression on her best friend's face, and even when she did turn back to her, her visage was still disgruntled. "Let's work out which of these are yours," Kitty suggested, gesturing to the shopping bags at their feet.

Illyana started to protest and demand the brunette tell her what Emma had meant, but before she could the other mutant was already squatting down to go through them. The blonde huffed and joined her, digging through the one closest to her.

"This is yours," Shadowcat declared, pushing the bag over to one side, followed by a few others she only had to briefly look into before guessing they belonged to her friend instead. 

"And this one's yours," Magik pushed one over to her, peeked into two more and passed them along as well, "And these."

" _How_ did I end up with just as much as you?" Kitty asked, pushing herself back to her feet once all the bags had been sorted. From one in her pile, she fished out the arcade prizes they had thrown in on top. The largest: a blow-up green dragon that was rapidly losing air out of a hole it had somehow already gained, and a tiny, sword-shaped pencil. "Who gets what?"

"You already have a dragon," Illyana stated, "So I think that one gets to be mine."

"Okay," Kitty laughed, handing over the item in question, while her own fist closed around the sword. She shot the blonde a playful glare, "This can replace the one you took from me."

"Sounds good," Illyana grinned, hugging the plastic dragon to her body. It let out a pitiful squeal as more air was squeezed out of it. Then, she scooped the handles of the bags into her only free hand and lifted them up as she stood to her feet. She teased, "You're gonna walk me to my room, I hope."

" Of course," Kitty said, somewhat incredulous that there had even been a small chance that she wouldn't. Before she did that, however, she grabbed up her own bags, not bothering to open her bedroom door as she phased them inside, half her body following them through the timber. Once she had deposited them, she turned back. 

She closed the distance between herself and Illyana, easing her hands through some of the handles she held to help her carry them. They walked together down the hall until they came to an open door that showed off the room within. There was nothing inside save for the standard furniture that each of the rooms started with—save for one tiny detail. The live, purple dragon that sat on the edge of the bed, waiting.

"Lockheed! Finally!" Kitty cried, quickly putting her bags down on the floor before she was holding out her arms wide for the her little alien friend. He promptly launched himself right at her. She could feel his claws digging in to her shoulders as she cuddled him, then him squirming in an effort to be free of her suffocating embrace. He crawled onto her shoulder, sniffing the air and cooing at the blonde as if begging her for a hug as well, but seemingly unwilling to initiate the same, almost-violent greeting that he had on the brunette, like he needed to be more delicate with this newly-returned friend.

"Good to see you again, too, dragon," Illyana grinned, dropping her bags and the blow-up toy at her feet before she reached out for Lockheed and and let him wiggle into her arms. She added, jokingly, "I was starting to think you didn't want to see me."

The dragon made a kind of indignant, spluttering sound as if he was offended by the very idea, yet nevertheless remained perfectly still and content in Magik's arms. Kitty moved towards them to affectionately rub his head. 

"What took you so long, Lockheed?" she complained, "You missed the party."

"And Katya snoring," Illyana pointed out, rubbing her curled index finger under his chin.

"I do not snore!" Kitty was quick to protest, though if the skeptical look the dragon shot her was anything to go by, even she knew she was lying. She huffed, "Fine. You can sleep with Illyana tonight then."

"That's okay, isn't it, dragon?" The blonde asked, letting him crawl up her arm to sit on her shoulder instead. Lockheed nodded once, looking down his snout at Kitty. She crossed her arms. 

"Fine. Be that way."

"We will," Illyana grinned, crossing her own arms with a look of playful smugness on her face.

Refusing to look at either of them, Kitty bent down to snatch the blow up toy off the ground, gripping it by its neck as she stood, "I guess this is mine for the night."

"Sorry, Katya," the blonde told her, though the expression on her face was anything but apologetic, "You can have him back in the morning, promise."

"I hope she kicks you in your sleep, dragon," Kitty continued to glare at them, making for the door. When she reached it, she abruptly sobered, not wanting to walk own on her two best friends in such a mood, even if she was only joking. She turned back to them, "Do you have everything you need, Yana?"

"Yup!" She nodded, closing the gap between them in order to pull Shadowcat into a tight embrace. Lockheed sat up on his hind legs as she did, resting his forepaws on Kitty's head. Magik's voice lowered slightly, calm now, "Thank you, Katya. I had fun today."

Kitty's arms went around her back, her face pressing into the blonde's hair. "Me too," she told her, before slowly pulling away. She gave Illyana a pointed look, "Whoever you have a crush on, you better tell them. You hear?"

"Nope," Illyana gave the brunette a goofy little grin. She should have known that was going to get brought back up. The younger mutant gave her friend a quick peck on the cheek, "Go to bed, Katya."

"I'm going," Shadowcat tried to laugh, though the sound had trouble escaping past the solid lump that had formed in her throat. She looked at Lockheed, "Don't keep her up all night. We have decorating to do tomorrow."

The dragon seemed to roll his eyes, and with that, Kitty turned to retrace her steps back to her own bedroom.

* * *

“3:08” glared at Kitty from the screen of her phone, causing her to let out an exasperated sigh as she flicked off the device and set it back down on her nightstand. How many hours had she been laying awake like this now? Was she going to get to sleep at _all_ tonight?   

She flopped down onto the mattress and closed her eyes, concentrating on not thinking at all. Her mind was a murky pond, polluted by thoughts and images that floated like stirred-up debris, a few occasionally bubbling to the surface. When they did, she tried to just let them go, to not focus on them, to not let them pull her thoughts in any direction. Maybe then the pond would clear and she’d find enough peace with which to sleep. But that technique had been failing her all night, and it sure as heck was failing her now. The pond was drowning her, choking her with its muddy, silty water.

With a groan, Kitty rolled onto her back and covered her face with her arms.  She was too hot, too cold, too tired, not tired enough, and certainly far too anxious for sleep. She briefly considered pills, or getting down on the floor to wear herself out with push-ups, or even going for a walk out to the lake, but none of those ideas were appealing enough to warrant the effort. She just wanted to _sleep_.   

Unfortunately, her mind and body seemed to have other plans. They were conspiring against her, throwing up images and thoughts that made her tremble and sweat and cry and made her lash out violently against her pillows. Why couldn’t she just _sleep?_   

She knew the answer to that immediately – had known it all night, in fact. Illyana Rasputin.   

It kept her going around and around in her head, that guy at Chuck E. Cheese, what she could have done, what she _should_ have done. She felt like a child again, a school girl rather than an X-Man, worrying about silly things that she couldn’t change now anyway. Even knowing that, knowing that it was so trivial that it shouldn’t even _matter_ , had no effect on her rampant mind – certainly not a positive one. _Dammit_ , hadn’t she past this stage? Hadn’t she gotten over that after Piotr? Illyana was just her _friend_ anyway, it wasn’t going to change anything. If anything did, it wasn’t going to be something so insignificant as a boy in a kiddie restaurant, something that the blonde herself had seemed completely unfussed about. 

Kitty told herself those things over and over, trying to convince herself that she had nothing to be anxious about and therefore no reason not to be asleep right then. And yet there she was, wondering why she had felt and reacted the way she had. She had been so sickeningly insincere with all her teasing and banter, she had had to practically force the words out of her mouth, even when she had been sure she didn’t want to hear any answers of the sort she had been demanding from Magik. And she was feeling painfully guilty about that. Wasn’t she a better person than that? A better friend?   Had she merely been jealous that Illyana was getting attention over her? She didn’t think so. Her interest in men – in anyone – had waned considerably since breaking it off with Wisdom, and since Piotr’s death. 

_‘Maybe it’s coming back?’_ she wondered hopefully, but quickly dismissed that idea. It hadn’t felt like that at all. The _guy_ hadn’t been the problem in that situation.  Possessiveness over Illyana, not wanting a boy to take up all her time, especially when she had only just gotten her back, made her seem like an even worse friend than the one who would begrudge her any kind of romantic affection out of something so petty as jealousy. She wanted Illyana to be happy, didn’t she? After everything that had happened to her, didn’t she deserve that? Not to mention, the other mutant had been on the receiving end of enough giggly conversations about boys, some of them about Illyana’s own brother, that wasn’t it about time that Kitty put up with some of the same?

A tapping at her window startled the brunette out of her thoughts and, knowing that sound anywhere, she sat up. She threw the covers off of her as she stumbled towards the noise, which seemed to grow more incessant as if to assure her of her destination.  A muffled squawk encouraged her further, and her hands finally fell against the cold metal of the sill. She jerked it up, and in flew Lockheed, diving right for her bed and the tangle of warm blankets she had left behind. He buried himself in them, turning round and round and scratching at the sheets like a dog until he had managed to design himself a suitable nest. 

Again, Kitty sighed, rolling her eyes as she went to join him. Careful not to disturb the dragon that was glaring at her as if she already had, she slid back into place, rolling onto her side to face him. He abandoned his position almost immediately, instead clawing into the crescent that her body made and curling up there, pretending to sleep. 

“She kick you out already, dragon? Or did you just decide that you missed me more?” she asked him. He snored exaggeratedly. 

“Hey,” she protested, reaching out to finger his soft hide, “I’m in some serious emotional stress here, Lockheed. Now is not the time to sleep.” 

He lifted his head to glare at her, his yellow eyes glowing in the darkness. 

“Thank you.”   Kitty stuck her elbow out against the mattress them, holding her chin up with her fist but unable to find the words she wanted to express. Lockheed glowered. 

“Okay, okay,” she sighed in defeat, “I’m sorry. I’m just... Am I a bad friend? I feel like a bad friend. Illyana only _just_ got back, and I was dragging her around all day as if she never left and then that stupid guy at Chuck E. Cheese with his hands all over her and _ugh_. It was never this hard with Rachel, you know? I didn’t feel like I was having to constantly double guess myself. And when I was angry with her over boys it was because I had crushed on them first and then she totally stole the show, you know? But then like... I never got drunk and laid on top of Rachel like I did with Illyana. She never kissed me on the cheek or—hey! Are you even listening anymore?” 

Lockheed had started staring at her like she had lost her mind, like the answer was so obvious and all she was doing was boring him with useless details. 

“What?” she huffed, only to receive the dragon equivalent of an eyeroll, “What?! If you’re going to steal all the covers, at least make yourself _useful_. I just don’t want her to go tell some guy she likes them, you know? What if they hurt her? And like... what if she spends more time with them than me? What if... Oh I don’t know, Lockheed. Stop looking at me like that."

"I _know_ I’m a bad friend. I just can’t stand the thought of her off with someone else, but I don’t know _why_. We’re just friends. All we’ve ever been is friends. Yeah, there was that one time when we were roommates when I was kind of confused but... No. I can’t think that now. I’m just excited that she’s back. That’s all.” 

And yet, as time ticked on and sleep still escaped her, as she fixated on the idea of Illyana being with someone else, she became more and more frustrated. The image her mind conjured was so repulsive that she felt herself seething, then attempting to throw up more comforting memories of the two of them. And the more she did that, the more the anxiety in her gut shifted into something else. Butterflies. She had stupid giddy butterflies fluttering at the thought of her best friend sleeping in her bed again, at the feeling of Illyana pressed against her back at the Whack-A-Mole table, at the imaginary fingers she could feel in her hair and at her waist and threaded through her own. Emma's stupid smirk, like she thought she was so clever. 

She was going crazy. 

She tossed and turned angrily, checking the time so often that sometimes not even a minute had past, feverishly wishing that she could sleep and wake up without the feelings she was having now. Lockheed was no help. He kept making stupid kissy faces at her. And anyone else she would have usually turned to about her feelings, who might have been able to set them straight, were beyond reach. And the only person she wanted to talk to was the one who was implicated in the same feelings she so desperately needed unravelled. 

For a while, she tried in vain to convince herself that everything was fine, that she didn’t need to talk to Illyana about anything she was thinking right then, that in the morning it would all seem like some hallucinated dream. But the more time that past, the more she was sure that that wasn’t true. 

Finally, she found herself lurching out of bed and staggering for the door to her bedroom. 

She crept down the hallway, her feet freezing against the wooden floor and goosebumps on her arms because she hadn’t thought to get her dressing gown. Lockheed had watched her go with not even a sound, a smug expression on his face instead. By the time she reached Illyana’s door she thought she might throw up, but before she could she lifted her hand to knock, then gave up and phased right inside, somehow knowing – or maybe not even considering the possibility that it might be otherwise in her time of need – that the blonde was still awake.

And sure enough, she was right. Illyana was sitting in the middle of the floor inside of an arcane circle that, in appearance, looked like it was still glowing brightly after she had burned it into the carpet with a branding iron. Kitty, however, knew it very well. The blonde had formed it mystically. The Russian's eyes were closed in concentration, her hands pressed against the floor where her fingertips glowed a distinct bluish-white. Judging by a lack of change in her demeanor, she didn't realize her room had been infiltrated. 

Kitty was terrified to reveal her presence. Not because she was scared of how her friend would react, but because it meant she would have to explain herself. That made her more nervous than she had ever been in her life.

"Yana?" she eventually got out, her voice so soft and timid that the word was little more than a whisper of air moving from her lungs.

Illyana's eyes snapped open, the glow in her fingertips dissipating as her concentration was broken, her attention instead shifting to Kitty. She tipped her head to the side, confused, while her arcane circle seemingly burned out around her, "Katya? Is everything okay?"

Shadowcat nodded, though the bobbing of her head was a little too fast and went on a little too long to be considered appropriate. "You kicked Lockheed out?" she asked, as if that was all she had come to find out.

"No, he bailed because I was keeping him up with this," Illyana told her, gesturing her hand to where her magic circle had been. Then, her expression turned slightly more serious, knowing full and well that Kitty didn't come in here room just to ask about Lockheed, "What's _really_ up?"

"Don't do anything about your crush." 

The words left Kitty's mouth all in a rush, like a flock of birds scared from their tree by a loud noise. Truly, the brunette just thought that if she had given herself anymore time to turn it over in her mind and really think about it like she had been doing all night _already_ she would never say what she wanted to.

"I wasn't going to," Illyana told her, furrowing her brow as she motioned for Kitty to join her on the floor. She teasingly, though genuinely curious about her friend's sudden change of heart, added, "But why? You were practically begging me to before."

Shadowcat moved over to her without a second thought, lowering herself to the ground and crossing her legs neatly beneath her. Her throat was clenched and her chest felt so constricted she could barely get enough breath into her lungs to speak, "I just... I changed my mind. I think it's a bad idea."

Illyana wasn't falling for that. After all their years of being close friends, the blonde knew the signs that told when Kitty was lying or, at the very least, withholding the truth. She narrowed her eyes skeptically, "Katya."

The other girl squirmed and dropped her gaze to her hands, only to abruptly bring them both to her face so she could groan into her palms. _Why_ had she thought this was a good idea?

 _'Come onnnn, Pryde,'_ she chastised herself, _'You're going to look like an even bigger idiot if you don't say_ something!'

"Uhhh," she stuttered feebly, momentarily removing her hands from her face, only to cover her eyes with them again a split second later. "I'm just going to say it and then leave, okay?"

"No, but go on," Illyana urged, reaching out and pulling Kitty's hands away from her face by her wrists. Then, she took them into her own and gave them a tight, supportive squeeze, "Come on, you know you can tell me anything."

Kitty groaned again, throwing her head back to stare at the ceiling like a stubborn child. Still, her fingers squeezed back. She spoke at the roof, "I... I don't like the thought of you being with anyone else, and I know I'm probably just being stupid but I was laying awake and tossing and turning all night trying to work out why I feel the way I do and I just... I think I just have to say it or it's going to eat me alive. I think there could be... What I meant to say is that there could be something else here, between us, that's more than friends because I really want to kiss you right now and I feel like a little girl again because I don't know what to do and I don't want to weird you out or make our friendship weird or anything so... yeah. I'm just going to phase away now. Pretend I didn't say anything."

Quickly, she climbed to her feet, pulling her hands out of Illyana's as she made for the door. The blonde sat there in a stunned silence for a moment, jaw slacking slightly as her mind tried to wrap itself around the words that Kitty had spoken. But with her friend moving so quickly to her door, she didn't have time to fully think it all over before the flood gate opened and her own secrets were spilling out of her mouth, "Katya, I can't just pretend you didn't say anything when I've been wanting to hear that for so long."

Kitty paused at the door, torn between leaving despite her friend's words, or staying because of them. Her heart was doing somersaults in her chest, and forced her to turn back around. She wanted to question the blonde, wanted to make sure she wasn't just saying that to prevent Kitty's feelings from being hurt, but all that escaped her lips was a hopeful little, "Really?"

Illyana could hear her hammering heartbeat in her ears, could feel it pounding against her chest and she was simultaneously burning up and running cold, but it was too late to take it back now. It was out, and there was no way she could reel it back in. Did she even want to? Part of her did for reasons she hadn't given much consideration to because she thought that Kitty returning her feelings was a _fantasy_ , but the other part of her, the part that had yearned for so long to hear Shadowcat say those words, couldn't imagine taking it back. Illyana met Kitty's gaze with a shy smile on her lips, "Yeah."

"Oh," Kitty stared at her, still half-turned towards the door, "I wasn't really... You weren't supposed to say that. I was just going to leave and we were going to wake up tomorrow and pretend I didn't just ruin everything."

She had definitely not been expecting that. Some small, wistfully innocent part of her had hoped against hope but... She had thought that the best possible outcome of her confession would be that they remain friends as if it hadn't happened, possibly after talking it over for long enough that Kitty realized that her feelings were mistaken. This was a whole new ball game that she had _not_ planned for.

She padded back over to Illyana and sunk back to the floor. "Now we have to talk about it."

"I'm sorry Katya," the blonde began, eyebrows arched outwards and head bowed slightly, looking more ashamed than anything else right then, "I shouldn't have said anything."

"If you hadn't, I'd be back in my room right now and probably crying. And then Lockheed would come in here and set you on fire so..." she trailed off with a teasing smile, knocking her shoulder against Illyana's, "At least you were honest."

"I could set him on fire back. I know how to do that now," Illyana tried, though she couldn't help the smile that cracked back onto her face. She nudged her own shoulder against the brunette's, just hard enough that the other girl's arm bounced away from her for a moment. Then, she was turning her head to look at her, "I guess so."

"I know so," Kitty corrected her, "And now we get to have this talk. So.... talk. You go first."

"Why do I have to go first? You brought it up," Illyana argued, though what good she thought stalling was going to do was really beyond her.

"Exactly. I went first, so now it's your turn," the other girl flashed her a cheeky smile that hid her nerves well.

"But I was the last to say something which means it's back on you now," Magik grinned with a playful smugness, like she'd won the most important debate of her life.

"I already initiated the discussion, that _was_ my turn," Kitty insisted, only to give in and cave a second later, "This isn't solving anything."

Illyana propped her elbows up on her knees, dropping her face against her fists so that they pressed into her cheeks. Her blue eyes stared at the carpet, fixating on a specific thread so she didn't have to look at Kitty, "I've never talked about this stuff before."

"Yes you have. You've helped me work through my feelings plenty of times. Just do that, but to yourself," the brunette told her, tentatively reaching out a hand to rub her friend's shoulder, "Here, I'll start. I'm worried that this feeling won't last. We've been spending all this time together and you just got back and it's... _exciting_. What if I'm just confused about that?"

"What if I know I'm not?" the sorceress asked, pushing her fists harder against her cheeks like she was _trying_ to smoosh her head in. 

And just like that, Kitty felt guilt engulf her. There she was, trying to sort out her own feelings, trying to turn them _off_ , and her best friend was telling her that that wasn't an option for her. She had just got her hopes up for possibly no reason. _'God I'm selfish. This was a huge mistake.'_

"Yana," she started, because she had to say _something_ , "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come to you about this. I didn't know you were... I just thought you would tell me I was being stupid, not that..."

"Yana," she sighed, hanging her head in shame, "You should have told me."

Illyana's jaw tightened, forcing herself to smile rather than frown as she just shook her head over and over, as if to ward off the sinking feeling in her stomach. If that's all it was, if Kitty was merely confused, she was okay, right? She'd gone all this time believing it was never going to happen, she could live with the fact that it was a very real possibly that it was still just that: wishful thinking. Of course she was. She had to be. Even if it wasn't, even if Kitty had been sure of herself, there was no way they could actually be together. Not when Illyana was what she was. With that decided, albeit painfully, and still shaking her head, she murmured her disagreement, "Mm mm."

"Why not?" Kitty pressed, a slight frown on her face.

"The same reasons you almost didn't tell me," Illyana told her half-truthfully, reaching out with one hand to pick idly at the carpet she was staring at before, "And there was always someone else, so it wouldn't have been right for me to, anyway."

"Always--" Shadowcat cut herself off before she could repeat the rest of it, letting it sink in a little more first. So Illyana had had been harboring those feelings for a long time then. From before she had left for Excalibur, when they had still been close, when they'd still been sharing a room. When Kitty's own feelings had been fluctuating so wildly she hadn't been able to make any sense of them, and hadn't really wanted to try. She felt a tightening in her chest that she could not wholly explain away with guilt and nerves. "There isn't anyone else now," she tried.

"That doesn't change anything," the blonde told her, finally looking up from the floor to lock her gaze with Kitty's. For a moment she was quiet, guiltily admiring her best friend's beautiful face before she hugged her legs to her chest and rested her chin on her knees. Her eyes, however, never left the older girl's. She sucked in a deep, dreaded breath, and came clean with the truth that troubled her more than anything else, "I don't deserve you as a friend, much less anything more, Katya. You deserve someone good, someone whose soul hasn't been tainted with darkness and with evil. I am not those things. I am a monster, and I always will be."

In that moment, with her legs pulled into her chest and her chin on her knees, with her hair falling about her face in an untidy, golden mess, Illyana became a little girl again. She was the girl who Kitty had read bedtime stories too, who had swung her by the arms with Piotr, who had let her sleep in her bed with her when she had had nightmares. She was the little girl whose strangled sobs in the middle of the night had woken her up too many times to count, whose sleep talking wasn't just confined to ordering demons about, but by facing down the snide remarks and distrustful glances of her teammates. She was the little girl who had begged her not to leave for London. She was the little girl like all the other little girls she talked to, who called themselves evil and damned because of their mutation, because their parents had cast them out and told them not to come home. And she was Illyana Rasputin, her best friend. Forever. But if she thought too hard about that, if she stopped too long to consider that the blonde might truly believe what she was saying, then she would never be able to get the words out to assure her otherwise.

"The last time I saw you, you were giving everything you had to save the world from Limbo. Everyone thought you had died saving the world from Limbo. What about that says "monster" to you?"

Illyana just shook her head again, the corners of her lips tugging into a frown. There was a part of her that knew that would get brought up, and she'd been prepared for it. She might have saved Earth from an invasion from Limbo, but that didn't change the fact that her demonic self, the corrupted part of her soul, had be partially to blame for the entire thing to begin with, "Just because a bad person does something _good_ doesn't make them any less bad, Katya."

"Okay," Kitty nodded, "I can roll with that. Tell me what makes you think you're a bad person."

Magik's brow furrowed, looking at Shadowcat like she'd honestly lost her mind, "I rule a realm full of demons, I've killed people, and there's always this...this darkness that sits at the back of my mind and I know it's...."

The blonde swallowed hard, realizing that her nails her digging into her legs through her thin pajamas pants, "It's...Katya, you _know_. You've seen it too and nothing good looks like that."

"Hey," the brunette cooed at her, lifting one hand to cup her chin and direct her face towards her own, "You listen to me, Illyana Rasputin. I have seen evil. I fight evil every day. And if you honestly think that I would be friends with someone that I truly believed to _be_ evil, then you must think I'm an idiot. That, or you know you're not really evil."

"The fact that you have darkness in you, Yana, doesn't make you evil," she continued, "You have it, and yet you still do good things. You _overcome_ those feelings every single day. If you were really evil, you wouldn't bother. But you do. And I think that makes you even better than the rest of us."

It was times like these when Illyana reiterated to herself that she didn't deserve Kitty in any form or fashion just as she'd told the brunette. But it was times like these when she was reminded that, undeserving or not, she needed her. There was no one else that had ever understood her, no one else that had stood by her side unwaveringly no matter what, no one else that Illyana felt truly cared for her as something other than a little snowflake who had, truthfully, melted a long time ago. Kitty understood she'd changed, understood that she was no longer the innocent kid she'd been when they first met and that there was something dark lingering within her and not once had that changed anything between them. 

It was then, after several moments of her contemplative silence, that the sorceress finally smiled. Her blue eyes stared into those deep, gorgeous brown ones as if she was trying to figure out what the other mutant was thinking. She was failing miserably of course, but she was still unable to pull her gaze away this time. She tipped her head to the side inquiringly, her voice quiet as she spoke, "Do you really want to kiss me?"

Kitty's hand fell away from Illyana's cheek then as a self-conscious, embarrassed smile took over her mouth. She let her hair fall from behind her ear, let it hide her face as she averted her gaze to the carpet they sat on. The butterflies had returned in full force. Because yes, she did want to kiss her best friend, and there was not a single thing left inside her that thought that was a bad idea. Where those thoughts that had been plaguing her mind and keeping her awake had disappeared to, she didn't know, but she was not complaining now.

"Yeah," she confessed, tipping her head up just enough to meet Magik's gaze. A tiny little grin took over the smile on the blonde's lips which she quickly tried to suppress by biting down on the inside of her bottom one. 

"Okay," She finally said, giving up on trying to wipe the expression off her face as her cheeks burned a light pink, a strange feeling in her gut that for once wasn't fueled by guilt or self-loathing but rather _excitement_.

 _'What if--- No. Time to stop thinking, Pryde. I am totally calm and totally cool. My calm is exceeded only by my cool. Which is total. Okay? Good. Here we go.'_ She felt her body leaning in, felt her knees move against the carpet as she twisted her body to put them face-to-face instead of side-to-side, the whole while watching the blonde for any cue that she should stop. She saw not a one, and when their noses skimmed past each other, she figured it was safe to close to her eyes. To close her eyes and pray that when her lips touched Illyana's, the world wouldn't implode. 

It did. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Illyana goes on her first mission with the X-Men.

At least it had imploded in a good way. She hadn't woken up the next morning hating herself—well, except for the fact that she had gotten less than three hours of sleep before a Danger Room session with Scott. She had actually felt _happy_ , like the decision she had made to talk to Illyana the night before had been the right one. She had woken with a smile on her face and a spring in her step and butterflies in her gut that sat ready and waiting for when she would see Illyana — her _girlfriend_ next.

They had agreed to take it slow, to make sure and not rush into anything before they were certain their friendship would be able to make it out unscathed, but once they had started it had been impossible to stop. More and more, Kitty had come to realize that they had basically been in a relationship anyway. They still teased each other the same, still talked about anything and everything, still joked and laughed as they always had. All that had changed was the kissing, or lack thereof. And maybe there was a little more touching than usual, too. A few more secret smiles and flushed cheeks, some glances at each other that didn't seem quite as innocent as before, more appraising and less "what the hell are you wearing".

Whether anyone else in the mansion knew what was going on between them had only troubled them initially. A few sly words from Emma had told them that they were being so obvious they need not have been bothering to try and hide it anyway, and so they had stopped. Well, mostly. They were still young, and finding places to hide and make out and laugh was all a part of the fun. As was surreptitiously holding hands under the breakfast table and trying to keep it from being noticeable that they were each only using one arm.

At first, Lockheed hadn't seemed as amused with them as they had thought he would be, especially considering how eagerly he had been pressuring Kitty to make a move when she had been fussing and unable to sleep. He had glared and barked at them whenever they'd gotten too caught up in each other to pay any attention to him, and had taken to rudely forcing his spiny little body between them at the most annoying times. After a few days of that, however, seeming to realize he wasn't going to be able to stop them, he had given up, instead removing himself from their presence when any of their more vexing behaviors started up.

For example, he wasn't currently with them in the living room. He had been, when they had merely been sitting side-by-side, watching the news together and talking quietly. But as soon as they had started making those faces at each other and giggling under their breaths, he had left the room all in a huff. Probably to make a vengeful mess out of one of their rooms. Neither Kitty or Illyana seemed to notice or mind. 

They were turned towards each other on the couch, legs tucked under themselves and arms around each other's waists as they exchanged short, sweet kisses, laughing quietly and occasionally punctuating each break with a few teasing words.

"I _was_ trying to watch that, you know," Kitty was telling Illyana as they pulled away, meaning to turn back to the television but finding her gaze unable to tear itself from the blonde's pretty pink lips. They were too tempting to not be kissed, and as soon as she was done speaking, she was going right back in again.

"You can watch it later," Illyana said matter-of-factly as she pulled back just slightly, her lips brushing against Kitty's as she spoke. She brought their mouths together again, grinning into the kiss and mumbling, "This is more fun."

"Mmm," Kitty hummed her agreement, her fingers pressing gently into her waist as she tried to pull their bodies closer together, "For once, I think you're right."

"For _once_?" Illyana questioned, hooking her index fingers through the belt loops on Kitty's jeans and tugging her closer. She leaned her forehead against the brunette's, bright blue eyes looking straight into her brown ones. She teasingly added, "I think I've been right a lot more than once."

"The jury would like to see some evidence of that," the other girl smirked back at her. She didn't give Magik a chance to answer, however, before she was capturing her lips in a brief yet lingering kiss, playfully tugging on her lower lip with her teeth as she pulled away. Illyana's body shifted slightly as her grin widened and she lurched forward to catch Shadowcat before she could move too far. She brought their mouths back together, pressing a little deeper and letting it last a little longer this time. Pleasantly surprised, Kitty kissed her back, tilting her head and lifting her hands up to Illyana's cheeks as if to make sure she wouldn't break away too soon. 

That lasted only moments, however, before the voice of the news presenter grabbed her attention. She abruptly pulled away, a hand on the back of Illyana's head directing the blonde's face down to her neck as she twisted her own towards the television.

 "I want to see this," she told her in the way of an explanation, though apparently wanting to catch the story was not incompatible with her desire to feel her girlfriend's lips on her neck. Her fingers slid into her hair, stroking almost absentmindedly. 

For a moment or two Illyana didn't do anything, her warm breath wafting over Kitty's throat but not much else. She hadn't done this before and the thought made her a little anxious, but as the seconds ticked by and the television still had the brunette's attention, Magik's curiosity grew. Fingers still curled around the belt loops, she pulled the older girl closer still as she experimentally pressed her lips against the soft, warm skin. She held them there a moment before she pulled away, only to do it again and again until the kisses got slower, a little more confident, and some of them involved an exploratory flick of the tip of her tongue. All the while, Kitty's fingers massaged her scalp encouragingly.

When Logan cleared his throat from the doorway, the brunette very nearly jumped out of her skin. Her cheeks flushed as she turned to look at him, eyes wide as Illyana sat up properly and guilty turned to face him. The smirk on Wolverine's face was hidden by the can of beer he brought up to his lips. He nodded at the TV. "Anything good?"

Illyana shrugged her shoulders exaggeratedly, swinging her legs out from under her at the same time she turned her back to the couch's cushions and finally planted her feet on the floor. She slouched slightly, grabbing Kitty by the arm and tugging on it until the brunette maneuvered her legs out from under her to plant her butt on the sofa instead.

"Not really," Kitty told him after a few moments of half-panicked silence where she had been completely unable to recall what she had just been watching. 

Logan raised his eyebrows at her, his knowing smirk still firmly in place as he raised his drink to them as if in salute, "As you were, punkin'."

Just like that, he left, and Illyana raised her hand to her mouth, biting down on the soft skin between her thumb and index finger in an attempt not to laugh. Kitty, on the other hand, was already leaning over her legs and covering her face with her hands. 

Illyana burst into laughter then, hugging around Kitty's torso and trapping the brunette's arms against her as she pressed her cheek against the shorter mutant's back. Shadowcat groaned into her hands, jamming her elbow roughly into Illyana's ribs in an attempt to shut her up. 

"I am never kissing you again," she declared, her voice muffled against her palms.

"Owww," Illyana moaned through her laughter, squeezing Kitty tighter and nuzzling her face against the back of her shoulder. Through her giggles she managed, "That's a lie."

"Try me," Kitty laughed back at her, "Next time, it'll be Scott that walks in on us. Do _you_ want to look him in the face when he's more embarrassed than we are?"

"Yeah," Illyana's voice was a little _too_ high, "It'd be funny."

She twisted her head enough to glare accusingly at her girlfriend through her fingers, "You didn't _know_ Logan was going to walk past, did you?"

"Now why would I know that?" Illyana asked, propping her chin up onto Kitty's shoulder so that she could look right into her suspicious eyes with her own mischievous ones.

"Magick," the other girl smirked at her, before darting forward to plant a firm kiss against her lips. The sound that came out of Illyana's mouth was startled but definitely not displeased and she quickly pushed right back, kissing her deeper before abruptly pulling away with a grin of victory on her face.

"Told you that was a lie," the blonde poked her tongue out at the other mutant. Kitty rolled her eyes and pushed her hand against Illyana's shoulder in a reprimanding shove.

"You are a brat, Illyana Rasputin."

"That was also me being right more than once," Magik beamed, "the jury has its evidence."

With a glare that hid her amusement, Kitty abruptly got to her feet, phasing out of her girlfriend's grasp where necessary, in order to turn around and stare down at her. She crossed her arms over her chest. Illyana smiled up at her sweetly, holding her arms out and making grabby motions with her hands.

"Come back," she pleaded, then added in a voice that was anything _but_ apologetic and with a grin to prove it, "I'm sorry."

"The jury convicts you on the grounds of false testimony," Kitty stuck her tongue out at her.

"What does that even _mean_ ," Illyana started laughing again, tipping her head back against the cushions and letting her arms fall limply to her sides.

"I don't know!" Kitty spluttered, collapsing onto the couch on the other side of her in defeat, "I don't teach _law_."

"Well it's a good thing, then. Your students would be screwed," Illyana teased, dropping her head onto Shadowcat's shoulder as she leaned against her.

"Like Emma's students are screwed in ethics," the other girl cackled, resting her own head against the blonde's even as her abdomen quivered. The sound of Kitty's laughter made Illyana's harder and she had to turn her face into the brunette's shirt to try and muffle it. 

"Shhhh," Shadowcat tried to hush her, despite the fact that she was still giggling herself, "You made me miss my story."

"That's what the internet's for," Illyana reminded her, wiggling her arm between Kitty's back and the couch cushions in order to wrap it around her waist.

"It's not the saaaaame," she whined, an exaggerated pout on her face.

"Sure it is," the blonde told her, lifting her other arm up so she could poke the phasing mutant's bottom lip with the tip of her finger. Illyana grinned, "Plus, if I'm not more fun than the news then I don't know why I bother."

"Well," Kitty started, bringing her legs up onto the couch and folding them underneath her. 

"I need something serious to... make the fun seem even more fun?" she tried, an unsure frown on her face for the way that had come out, "Really though. I don't think I've felt this young in a long time. Getting busted by Logan's didn't help matters, either."

"Is that bad?" Illyana asked, dropping her hand down the brunette's body and instead threaded their fingers together. She gave Kitty's hand a gentle squeeze.

She squeezed it back and shook her head, "I don't think so. I mean, as long as I don't start skipping my own classes and forgetting to plan my lessons, we're good, right? And maybe after everything that's happened, we deserve to feel — and act — our age for once."

"Yeah," Illyana nodded with a smile. She, for one, was glad for that. In the past, it'd been a luxury that she was hardly ever allowed and the last few days had been such an immense relief that she didn't know if she'd ever be able to find a way to explain it out loud. But at the same time, she knew she didn't _have_ to. Magik may have had her childhood taken away, but there was an unspoken understanding between the two young mutants that they weren't going to let _this_ get taken away, too.

"Soooo," Kitty sounded, a cheeky smile taking over her lips as she got up on her knees again to completely face the blonde. She eased her hand out of Illyana's to slide it up her arm instead. She let it rest on her shoulder, guiding their bodies back together until their lips met again, "Lets get back to that."

"Mmm," the blonde hummed her approval against Kitty's mouth, reaching out and placing her hands on the brunette's hips. Kitty's arms went around her neck, her head tilting slightly to deepen the kiss.

That was how Scott found them, completely wrapped up in each other's embrace, the news flashing across the television completely forgotten. For a moment, he just stood there, not entirely sure what to do with himself. Were they going to stop? Should he say something? He had to interrupt, it was necessary, but he almost felt bad for having to do it. He didn't let it show very often, but he was happy that _Kitty_ was so happy again. God only knew she deserved it, and so did Illyana. 

Finally, though, he spoke up in a tone that was almost apologetic, "Kitty...? We have a mission."

Shadowcat screwed her eyes closed, a wince on her face and a bright red blush on her cheeks before she even pulled away from her girlfriend. Slowly, guiltily, she twisted her body around to look at Scott, her teeth sunk into her bottom lip as if she had just been busted doing something she had already been told not to. 

"What mission?" she asked, struggling to keep her embarrassment out of her voice. Illyana, on the other hand, was much more amused. She peeked around Kitty to peer at Scott for a brief moment before she was cracking up again, unable to stop herself. 

The leader of the X-Men continued to stand there, looking rather confused for a good few seconds before he found his voice to answer Kitty's question despite Illyana's uncontrollable cackles, "There's a monster in Manhattan making _Godzilla_ look _good_. We need to shut it down as soon as possible. Jet's getting prepped, we leave in ten."

"I'll go suit up," Kitty assured him, doing her damnedest to ignore Magik. As soon as Scott was out of the room, however, she turned around to punch her in the shoulder. Illyana fell back against the arm of the couch, only laughing harder.

"I told you that would happen!" the other girl exclaimed, "This is not funny!"

"It's a little funny," Illyana told her, making an attempt to control herself by biting down on her bottom lip. It wasn't working. She bent her knee and pushed her foot against Kitty's thigh, "Go before they leave you."

"I'm going, I'm going," Kitty told her, unable to keep the smile off her face at the sound of the blonde's laughter. She stood up, only to lean down to kiss her on the forehead, "Dinner tonight?"

"Duh," Illyana grinned, tipping her head up to look at the brunette, "You have to tell me all about it when you come back!"

The blonde reached for Kitty's cheeks with her hands, but stopped when she noticed Scott approaching the doorway again, hands clasped behind his back. Instead, she dropped them to the older mutant's shoulders and patted them.

"Illyana," He called out to her, making her furrow her brow, confused, as she turned her head to look at him. He smiled and indicated the hallway behind him with a tip of his head, "If you wanna come, you better suit up. Uniform's in your locker."

He gave the two a smirk before he turned and made his way down the hall and out of their sight. Illyana's gaze snapped back to Kitty then and she grinned widely, "Katya?"

Kitty grinned right back at her, taking her hands to haul her to her feet, "Wanna port us to the locker room?"

* * *

Her first mission with the X-Men. Ever. She'd dreamed about this. At one point, it'd been her goal but event after event and blow after blow, it had become a very distant possibility that was eventually crushed by N'astirh and his dumb demon invasion. Or so she thought, at least. Illyana hadn't expected the X-Men to invite her on their mission. She figured it was only because of Kitty, given that she hadn't really been "in action" in over three years, but that wasn't bothering her right now. She was just happy to have been asked along. So happy, in fact, that she was having trouble containing her excitement. 

Magik tapped her yellow-booted feet against the metal floor, her hands, which were covered by gloves that matched her boots, were placed on her knees where her fingers drummed against them. She even stopped quite often to admire the uniform that was definitely a step up from the one she had originally worn as a New Mutant. It was black except for her the yellow "X" over her torso that reached around her waist and over her shoulders. Completing it was the black X-Men emblem over her left breast that she periodically reached up to trace her fingers over. 

Illyana turned her head to look at Kitty, nothing short of beaming, for what was probably the 900th time. Kitty took her hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze, genuinely glad that Magik was getting the opportunity she had dreamed of for so long. Otherwise, however, her attention was focused on the mission and Scott's instructions as they approached the site.

"That thing came out of the ground and we're gonna drive it back in. Beast, you're in the air. See if you can't turn it around with the firepower we've got onboard. Shadowcat, Magik, and Emma, you're crowd control. Get the civilians to safety or you get them calm enough to get there themselves. Wolverine and I will flank it and keep its movement contained," Scott ordered, turning in his seat to let his hidden gaze dance over his team members. He finally stopped on Illyana, "Can you get us down there?"

"Yessir," she nodded, unfastening her harness as the others did the same. She motioned them towards her and as they crowded around, a bluish-white light circle formed beneath them and in a flash they were gone, swallowed by the portal.

It spat them back out down in the chaos-laden streets, just far enough away from the several-stories-tall dinosaur beast that they didn't have to do anything to avoid the giant stomping foot that crashed down so hard it caused the road to cave in. While Logan and Scott ran towards the monster, respectively unsheathing claws and shooting crimson blasts towards it, Emma, Kitty and Illyana stood a second longer to assess the damage. 

"I can get the people on the ground. You two wanna get everyone out of the buildings?" Kitty suggested. 

"On it," Illyana told her as she glanced to Emma who only responded with a tight nod of her head. With another stepping disc, both of the blondes were gone, and Shadowcat was left alone to dash after Wolverine and Cyclops, determined to get everyone out of their way so they could concentrate on the real objective. 

"Away from the big scary monster! Away!" she shouted on her way past a cluster of stunned and stumbling people, surprised not for the first time in her life that that was such a difficult concept to understand, even in an emergency situation. Overhead, the Blackbird hovered just in front of the creature, unleashing a seemingly endless stream of ammunition that seemed to be barely irritating it, let alone getting it to move back towards the hole it had crawled out of. 

_ 'How is it that they never come out in the middle of a desert? It's always a big city,' _ Kitty mused, again not for the first time in her life. 

Her hearing almost completely deadened by the artillery guns on the jet, it was all she could do to start gesturing wildly at a couple to get out of the way. Fortunately, they seemed to understand. _Un_ fortunately, they couldn't move fast enough to avoid the car that had just been flung their way. Without a second thought, she dived for them, the front of her body scraping along the ground but managing to get her far enough to grab their legs, phrasing all three of them. 

The vehicle flew through them, crashing to the ground just a few feet away. Before Kitty could even get to her feet, the woman had fainted.

Inside a nearby building, Illyana was having slightly better luck thanks to Emma, who was using her telepathic abilities to forcefully calm them down. It made it easier for Magik to gather them up and port them down to the nearest exit and get them out of the immediate danger zone. She made several trips, popping in and out of various floors and rooms to make sure the entire office building had been evacuated. When it had, she moved with Emma to the next one. But with the monster thrashing around outside, its massive tail smashing through a window and nearly taking a few office workers with it, it became clear to the both of them that they were going to have to split up and move faster.

Illyana left Emma alone, teleporting herself to the next closest building instead. Unfortunately, without the older mutant there to trick them into cooperating, Magik had a lot more trouble. Trying to calm people down enough for them to come with her was a feat that was quickly making her lose her patience with them. 

"Do you want to live or be squashed and eaten by that thing out there?" She finally yelled over their panicked screams. It got the attention of some of them, indicated only by the fact that they turned their heads to look at her, "That's what I thought. Come with me."

Each person inside the room migrated towards her and as soon as they were close enough, she activated a stepping disc, "I wouldn't move around to much if I were you. If you do and you get left behind with the demons, it's not my fault."

Before the civilians, that were now more frightened than they had been already, could protest they were all being swallowed by the portal. When they resurfaced, it was with the rest of the people Illyana had saved earlier. The blonde peered around the side of the building, tipping her head up to look at the dinosaur creature. Cyclops and Wolverine were evidently getting no where, and Illyana was getting undeniably bored with this. 

"Don't do anything stupid," she turned to warn the large group of people just in time to catch Emma leading an entire army of unnaturally calm civilians to their location. Without so much as an acknowledgment to the White Queen she teleported herself out once again.

Kitty was on the ground still, trying to coordinate a small group of civilians to walk with her out of the rubble. They had been seemingly frozen in fear at a bus stop when a building - thankfully empty - had collapsed above them. Kitty had managed to make all of them intangible before they could be crushed by the debris, but that wasn't going to help them if they all suffocated to death instead. She couldn't breath with drywall phased through her lungs, and neither could she speak, so trying to communicate with the terrified group that they needed to follow her was a nightmare. Finally, however, with much flailing about, she managed to get her message across enough to lead them out into the light. 

Unfortunately, things outside hadn't seemed to have changed all that much. The monster was still growling and smashing, Cyclops still blasting, Wolverine still slashing, and Beast still firing from the jet. If anything, it looked like they were only making it angry. 

_ "Guys? I think we need a new plan. _ " she thought to the rest of the team. 

And that was when Illyana appeared on top of the monster's head. She immediately crouched down, reaching for whatever she could in order to keep herself from being flung off with all its movement. Her efforts were in vain, however and when it thrashed its head to try and dislodge her, Magik had to think fast. She grabbed onto one of the spiny growths protruding from its thick skin and swung herself around it, planting her feet back on safe "ground", still squatting down to keep her balance.

"You're a couple million years late for your extinction, dino. Let me help you find it," And with that, Magik opened a stepping disc, just large enough for the oversized creature, right beneath its feet. She rose to her full height as it began to quickly sink into the portal, descending down to become nothing more than chow for the denizens of Limbo. Illyana leapt off its head just as the portal closed, effectively sealing the creature away. She landed on the ground and made like she was dusting her hands against one another before she turned to look at the others.

Logan just stared at her, his arms falling limp and disappointed by his sides as if they had just lost their entire purpose in life. Kitty walked up beside him, jaw slack but eyebrows lifted, thoroughly impressed and pleasantly surprised. Emma joined them just a moment later, crossing her arms over her chest as her glacial eyes found Scott who was just as taken aback as the rest of them. Illyana looked between them all, trying to determine whether or not she was about to be in trouble.

Cyclops answered that unspoken question for her when he reached out and patted her on the back proudly, "Well played."

"We should have thought of that before," Kitty grinned. 

"I make a spur-of-the-moment decision to let Magik on the team and this is what I get," Scott said, though the expression on his face was anything but upset. 

"She should come with us more often. Things would go a lot faster," the brunette thought aloud, subtly eyeing Cyclops to see what his reaction to that would be. Scott exchanged a quick look with Emma who didn't seem too opposed, then sent a glance to a hopeful Illyana before he finally rested his gaze on Kitty.

"Can you get her in the Danger Room every morning for practice?" He asked her, the crease in his hood indicating that he'd raised his eyebrow.

"Yana?" Kitty turned the question onto her girlfriend, not wanting to leave her out of the conversation. 

"If that's all I have to do to be an X-Man, then how come I was stuck with the Baby Brigade for so long?" Illyana asked, putting her hands on her hips and shifting her weight onto one leg.

"It's not the only thing you'll have to do, and this is a big responsibility. But I think everyone here would agree you have a lot of potential and letting that go to waste would be a bad judgement call," Scott told her, placing his hand on her shoulder, "We've underestimated you in the past. This is me apologizing. If you want to join us, the offer's open. Let me know what you decide."

Sensing the end of that discussion and the impression she got from Scott that he wanted Illyana to think about it more first, Kitty spoke up, "So. Home time?"

* * *

"So, X-Man, huh?" 

Kitty flopped down onto her bed, holding herself up on her forearms to look over her shoulder at her girlfriend, a teasing smile on her lips, "And to think, all it took was teleporting Godzilla into Limbo."

Illyana crawled onto the bed after her and sat at the brunette's feet, grinning widely, "I guess not doing what I'm _supposed_ to pays off sometimes."

Kitty flipped over to look down her body at her, "Don't get ahead of yourself. That was one time out of _how many_ that you've done that?"

Illyana laughed, shrugging her shoulders. Even if she _tried_ to count the times, they'd be up all night and if they were gonna be up all night, counting wasn't what she wanted to be doing. The blonde let her chin rest in her palm, her fingers holding her cheek, "I'm _finally_ gonna be an X-Man with you."

"About time," the brunette laughed with her, then her expression suddenly turned serious, despite the subtle teasing note in her voice, "Guess you should go to bed now so you'll be nice and rested for the Danger Room tomorrow."

"Nah," Illyana told her, already making her first bad decision as an X-Man. She crawled up Kitty's body rather quickly, grinning at her all the while. She stopped once her hands were pressed against the mattress at the the older girl's sides and her blue eyes gazed directly down into Kitty's brown ones.

Kitty could not help the blush that crawled onto her cheeks or the smirk that appeared on her lips, "This isn't your bed, Illyana."

"Does that bother you?" Magik tipped her head to the side, biting down on corner of her own bottom lip.

"It does if you're just going to lay there and not do anything," the other girl trailed off quietly, her gaze dropping to the blonde's mouth. Illyana let out a breathy chuckle and she leaned down, capturing Kitty's lips in a deep kiss. The brunette murmured her approval against them, her arms easing out from under her and letting them lay flat against the mattress. Instead, her hands went for her girlfriend's hips, fingers absently rubbing over them. Magik lowered herself down onto her, wiggling in between Kitty's knees and grinning against her mouth.

It was then that Lockheed swooped in through the still-open window, shrieking bloody murder and swooping at the two of them like he was an angry bird and they were too close to his nest. Once he had their attention, and boy had he gotten it fast, he quieted instantly, instead landing on the bed and attempting to squeeze his body between them, cooing affectionately at them as he did.

"Lockheed," Kitty groaned, exasperated.

"Lockheed!" Illyana echoed, stubbornly attempting to keep him away but soon let up, letting the little dragon win once again. She flashed him a glare that was half-serious and half-playful, and then her eyes were back on Kitty. She leaned down for one last kiss, her teeth lightly raking over the brunette's bottom lip as she pulled away, lingering there as she spoke quietly, "Goodnight, Katya."

"Night, Yana," Kitty smiled back at her, tilting her chin up just enough to press a chaste kiss to her girlfriend's mouth before she pulled away. Illyana crawled off of her then, begrudgingly patting Lockheed on the head before she made her way to the door. She paused in the doorway, looking over her shoulder to give Kitty a small smile before she flipped off the light and closed the door behind her. 

Kitty sat there in the dark then, smiling uncontrollably to herself while Lockheed only glowered.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's all hands on deck when the Danger Room comes to life.

### Previously, on Astonishing X-Men...

> A few weeks after Ord attacked the institute and Wing was cured against his will, he committed suicide in the Danger Room.

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Kitty was roused from her sleep by the sound of someone banging on her bedroom door and yelling her name. In a house full of mutants that was constantly under siege, it wasn't an uncommon occurrence. Heck, even in Excalibur's lighthouse it hadn't been unusual to be woken up like that.

As a result, her feet were on the floor before she could even recall having sat up, and at her bedroom door in even less time than that. Lockheed, just as familiar with emergency situations as she was, was already perched on her shoulder, claws digging into her skin through the thin material of the oversized shirt she wore. She jerked the door open, recognizing Scott's voice on the other side of it.

He stood there in only a pair of sweatpants looking as worried as she had ever seen him. He didn't wait for her to ask before he launched into a hasty explanation, "The telepaths are down. I need you to take the kids and get them down to the Danger Room in case we're under attack. Can you get Lockheed to scout the area?"

"Yes, yes," she nodded, her mind reeling, "Is Emma—"

Before she could get the rest of the words out, the building suddenly shook on its foundations, an explosion of sorts rumbling through the halls. Lockheed bolted into the air and Kitty managed to grab the door jam to keep herself upright, while Scott thudded into the wall opposite her. He was back on his feet before the trembling had even subsided.

"I'm fine!" Kitty yelled at him over the din, getting a quick nod before he was darting down the hall, Lockheed swooping after him. Behind her, Illyana rose from a stepping disc, still rubbing the sleep from her eyes with a balled fist.

"Katya, what is going on?" She asked, hoping her girlfriend had a little more insight than she did.

"We're under attack. Can you help me get the students to the Danger Room?" the brunette explained quickly. Illyana gave her a nod and without a second thought, the two were on the move.

There were already several children out of their rooms, fear and curiosity getting the best of them. Luckily, many were huddled together and it wasn't hard to round them up and urge them to follow as they made their way through the student dormitory wing. But as they descended the stairs, part of the roof and the wall exploded towards them as a blinding energy blast tore into the mansion. Shadowcat managed to grab hold of most of the students, phasing them and herself out of danger while Lockheed snatched one of the kids by the back of his shirt and yanked him away and Illyana shoved the rest just outside of the attack's radius.

As soon as it was over, they were all back on their feet, bounding down the stairs with the children in tow. Kitty grabbed Illyana's arm before she could get too much further from her.

"Port these ones down, I'll round up any stragglers," she told her, voice raised almost to a yell to make sure she was heard over the racket. As soon as she was sure she had been understood, she was darting off through the ground floor of the dormitory, the sound of her shouts quickly overwhelmed by the explosions that continued to rock the building.

Illyana urged the students into a large group, packing them as closely together as possible before she activated a stepping disc beneath them and with it, carried them down to the subbasement where the Danger Room's entrance was located. She was a little surprised, though the more she thought about it the more she realized she shouldn't be, that there were already a lot of students there. Younger ones were crowded around the older ones who she could only assume had helped lead them down, and they were all just as afraid and confused as the ones she'd gathered from upstairs had been.

"What's going on?" A kid in his mid-teens called out, realizing that she was one of the X-Men. With that recognition, a slew of further questions were fired at her, each one louder and more urgent than their predecessor until their voices became little more than a sea of noise and she couldn't distinguish one from the other.

"We don't know," she replied, knowing that did nothing to assure them of anything but what else was she supposed to do? Lie?

The voices rose even higher in response to that, their questions and demands more desperate and frightened, some of them angry and wanting to join the fight raging above them. Others attempted to stay calm and reasonable, to reassure the younger ones and follow the emergency plans that had been laid out to them and practiced so many times already.

Kitty dropped through the ceiling and landed beside Illyana, three more children clinging to her. A few who saw her screamed in the split second it took them to recognise her, but she didn't blame them. She was just as short, if not short _er_ than most of them, and her pink pajamas didn't exactly scream "X-Man". As the students she had rescued were absorbed by the larger group, she turned around to open the Danger Room door. "Everyone in! You know the drill!"

Obedient and a great deal quieter now, the hundred-or-so students filed through the door, Illyana and Kitty bringing up the rear.

"Good hustle getting down here, everyone. Now I need you all to break up into—"

"Miss Pryde?" a small, quivering voice spoke up over hers, bringing her attention to the fact that most of the student body had turned away from her — and not to do what she was about to ask. Everyone was standing stock still in a loose circle around something on the floor. Kitty pushed through them, seeing the red pool on the floor through their bodies before she even reached the middle.

There laid Wing. He was on his stomach, wearing the same clothes he had been in when Kitty had spoken to him about his lost powers, except now there was none of that smart-mouthed attitude that had gotten him put on detention for swearing at her. That was, unless you could call the displacement of his limbs and the blankness in his eyes purposefully defiant. Shadowcat definitely couldn't.

"Everyone... everyone stand back. Don't touch anything," she said, as if she really believed anyone would do otherwise. She twisted around to Magik, "Yana, go tell Scott. Everyone else, go out into the hall and we'll—"

"The door is gone!" one of the boys yelled. Illyana glanced over to see the missing door for herself, then snapped right back to Kitty.

"Do you still want me to go?" She asked.

"Yes," Kitty nodded quickly, "Get the others."

Without another word, Illyana removed herself from the room and as soon as she plunged into Limbo, her job became a whole lot easier. The X-Men were already congregating outside of the Danger Room. She rose up through a stepping disc behind them just in time to see Logan attempting to tear open the door which was still visible from this side of the wall. Squealing in distress, Lockheed came and landed on the blonde's shoulder, his tail wrapping tightly around her neck.

"The door won't move?" She asked, prompting Logan and Scott to both turn and look at her. Scott shook his head, hid his fear for his students well.

"It's unbreachable. We designed it that way. It's why we put the kids in there when the mansion's under attack," he told her, his voice calm but they all knew his mind was working on overtime to find a way to get it open, "It's exactly what our enemy wanted, we played right into their hands. I locked them in there _with it_."

"Our enemy isn't _in_ the Danger Room, Scott," Emma's voice forced them all to turn around, bringing them to watch as Hank carried her, still-weakened from the mental assault that had briefly taken her out, down the hall towards them, "It _is_ the Danger Room."

"It's become sentient?" Hank asked, instantly catching on to what the telepath was trying to say.

"It has always been sentient. But tonight... tonight something happened to it. It mutated," she explained, glancing at those gathered around her as Beast transferred her into Scott's arms.

"There's a mutation in its programming, you mean?" he asked, "Fascinating. Any idea how it occurred?"

"I don't know if this could be related," Illyana started, trying to catch their attention before anyone else threw in their theories, "But when we got in the Danger Room, we found Wing dead on the floor."

While the rest of them digested that, Logan spoke up, "That the kid who lost his powers? He try and do a scenario by himself or something?"

"The Danger Room can't kill," Scott informed them, "If you try to program it to, it'll just shut down. There's no way."

"It hardly matters _how_ it's doing it. No one's been killed but let's not find out how long that will last. This being's power is unfathomable and the only thing it has ever known is violence. We need to get in there _now_ ," Emma told them, an urgency in her voice that was just enough to convey her own worries.

"Perhaps if we attack the mainframe from outside instead, that'll shut it down completely," Beast ventured, holding his chin in his hand.

"Just point me in the right direction," Logan growled, his claws unsheathing from his knuckles.

* * *

 

Inside the Danger Room was indescribable chaos. It was a scenario Kitty hadn't seen before, one she couldn't imagine anyone having ever designed. It was like they stood inside of a volcano, herself and the students clustered tightly together on a single, shifting pillar while alien creatures that resembled the things of nightmares screeched and flew overhead. Lava bubbled up all around them, dripping down the walls of the cavern while lightning crackled overhead.

The kids, to their credit, hadn't yet gone insane with fear. Kitty had to take advantage of that while she could.

"Everyone stay calm! Bunch up! If you can fly, get in the air. If you're strong, if you're invulnerable, protect everyone else! Just keep the monsters away from you and we'll all be okay!"

"You really believe that, Kitten?"

Shadowcat whipped around, finding Wing's mangled and bloody body. The crooked, obviously-broken angle with which his neck and left leg were set seemed not to impair him at all as he floated there. Kitty punched him across the face.

"What did you do to Wing?"

The malicious smirk that twisted his features only added to his already grotesque appearance. "I only supplied the environment. Wing made the decision to use it. Wouldn't you make the same one, if you lost your powers?"

His answer hit her like a punch to the gut, and yet she had suspected as much when she had seen the body. It didn't make it any easier. The kids especially did not need to hear that. But, when Kitty looked down to make sure they were all doing okay still, she realized they were gone.

Wing's body laughed at the distress on her face, "Are they safe now, do you think? Did I put them all back in their rooms? Or are they with us here still? Suffering, dying. Jumping off cliffs. Just out of your reach."

The scene changed, and Kitty suddenly found herself standing on the edge of a cliff overlooking a disturbingly picturesque valley. One she recognized as being the place they often took the flight-capable kids to practice. And there, ready to step off the ledge, was Wing.

"You can't save them all, Kitten. Couldn't even save one. Maybe you need to work on your pep talks."

She dove for him. Too late, too slow. He toppled over the edge.

Mercifully, the scene changed again before she could see his body hit the ground below. Now, they seemed to be nowhere at all, hovering in infinite white space.

"Do you see now, Kitten? I was always programmed to kill. It was the objective father gave me. To watch the X-Men train, to find their strengths, their weaknesses, their vulnerabilities. To use that information against them. I tried, I really did, but there was always something stopping me. Something _caging_ me. Some obstacle I could not overcome. "

"There was a contradiction in your programming," Kitty realized, "A parental lock that stopped you from killing."

He smiled. "Very good. And Wing, poor, broken Wing. He only wanted to fly. He didn't mean to help me override my programming, but he did. And now you and your students will pay the price."

"No! You don't have to kill! Just being able to doesn't mean you _have_ to!" she cried.

"Really?" he smirked, and Kitty saw that his body was slowly fading away even as the Danger Room itself and the students it held reformed around them, "And just what do you think your teammates are about to do to me?"

Before Wing's body could disappear completely, blinding white light exploded from the ceiling. Debris hailed down into the Danger Room, Logan with it, just a dark black shape hurtling down too fast to stop. He dented the floor when he landed and the rest of the X-Men rushed in through the now-open door. It slid shut behind them.

"You destroyed the command core!" Kitty shouted at them realizing, again, that the children were missing.

"Indeed they did," a robotic voice came from the still-settling dust, a silhouette of a female, humanoid figure just visible through it. It was moving closer to them, revealing more and more of itself as it did. Their first unimpeded glimpse of it was of a tinted blue, metallic foot, followed by the rest of its body. The Danger Room come to life, she would call herself _Danger_.

"Shall we begin?"

Wolverine let out a string of swear words just before an ear-piercing, high-pitched sound erupted all around them. A painful screech that brought them all to their knees, hands over their ears.

Kitty, her face screwed up in pain, turned her head to squint at Magik, "Yana, can you...?"

Illyana shook her head violently, unable to concentrate through the excruciating sound enough to summon a stepping disc to them.

"Oh, bloody hell," Emma hissed through her teeth, shifting her body into its indestructible diamond form. It didn't do anything in way of stopping the screeching, but it gave her the ability to spring herself forward, throwing a hard fist right towards the being's metal face.

"Ah yes. White moves first," Danger noted, her hand easily covering Emma's and holding it back before it could make contact. Her free hand shot out into her stomach hard enough to send her hurtling back in the direction she had come, right into Illyana. The two of them flew back until they hit the wall, Illyana crying out in agony as her ribs broke under the telepath's weight and her Soulsword spun out of her hand. Danger stalked over to it, snatching it up by the hilt and examining it carefully.

"What appears to be your greatest weapon is also your greatest weakness," she pointed out as she approached Magik. Illyana held her hand against her side, struggling to move and getting absolutely no where. She hissed in pain, forcing herself to sit up straight against the wall, Emma's body at her feet.

"Give me....back my...sword," she managed through careful breaths, eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Gladly," Danger put up no argument and swiftly stabbed the Soulsword through Illyana's chest and embedded it in the wall behind her. The blonde's eyes shot open wide, her lips moving to speak but nothing but a sound strangled on her own blood escaped.

Kitty screamed, the high-pitched tone cutting out at the same time as she staggered to her feet. Logan got there first, however, launching himself off the ground, arms out in front of him and claws aimed at Danger's head. Danger threw her foot up, slamming it into his chest and grabbing hold of his arm. She slung him around into Beast who dove for her at the same time, knocking them both to the ground. She couldn't do anything to stop Shadowcat from reaching her, but the mutant phasing through her body had no effect on her anyway. It was, however, momentarily distracting enough for Emma to tackle her to the ground that had already been weakened by the first explosion. Under the weight of a woman made of diamond and one of metal, it caved and the two fell through to the floor below.

Climbing to their feet, Emma successfully landed a punch to Danger's face. But before she could get away, she grabbed hold of the White Queen's wrist and slammed her against a metal support beam. She held her there while her other hand morphed into a long, pointed drill that spun dangerously close to Emma's forehead, "Do you remember what it felt like to shatter, Emma?"

The blonde's eyes widened, the fear evident in them while Danger leaned in closer to her, "There's no one to put you back together this time."

"Emma!" Scott shouted down from above, peering at them from the hole. Knowing what was coming, Danger formed a shield on her forearm and held it up to block his optic blast, effectively reflecting it back towards him. Instead of hitting _him_ however, it slammed into the floor behind him and forced it to crumble under his feet, sending him falling with the heavy rubble.

"Scott!" Emma called out to him, wrestling away from Danger and darting off to help him. The A.I's attention instead turned to Wolverine and Beast who, once again, tag-teamed her. Logan went for her legs while Hank aimed higher, yet they faired no better than they had on their first attempt. Still, she was growing tired of them.

She threw Logan off, letting him collide with yet another wall, enabling her to turn onto his teammate instead. Her left arm grew into a long pole-like structure with a claw on the end, shooting straight into Hank's open mouth while her other, replicating Wolverine's claws, stabbed him in the gut.

Up above, Kitty was bent over Illyana, the woman's head in her lap while she covered the gash in her chest with her hands, the Soulsword gone. Blood bubbled up between her fingers and she pressed down harder, tears blurring her vision.

"Shhhh, Yana," she was cooing down at her, though her words were more for her own benefit. Magik was not making a sound. "It's okay. You're going to be fine. It's just a scratch, you're fine."

Illyana tried to speak, but it only ended in her coughing up blood. Her eyes wanted to close, but she struggled to keep them open where they couldn't decide if they wanted to look at Kitty or roll into the back of her head.

Kitty stared down at her, her loose hair falling about her head, the ends of it caressing the blonde's face whenever they moved. Her chest felt so tight she could barely breathe. "You're going to be okay," she said again, "You can't leave ag—"

The spear that flew through her abdomen and pinned her against the wall just above Illyana's head, like a pin through a butterfly, effectively cut off her words. Beneath her, Magik was horrified. A drop of blood splashed against her brow, forcing her to finally let her eyes close to protect them from the warm, crimson rain. Kitty's head sagged forward.

* * *

 

When Kitty opened her eyes again it was under the harsh white light of the infirmary. She was laying on one of the beds, Lockheed curled up next to her head and a hole in her pajama shirt that she initially could not place. Even when she did, she was unnaturally calm about it. She could hear Logan, Emma and Hank's voices not to far away, and when she cracked her eyes open, sure enough they were there. When she tilted her head the other way, she recognized Illyana's profile protruding from the golden-white waterfall of her hair that covered her pillow. She looked like she was still out. Alive, but out.

 _'Just another day as an X-Man'_ , she mused, carefully pushing herself up into a sitting position.

"Danger gone?" she asked, once she had the others' attention.

"Yep," Logan confirmed, his expression grave.

"How are the kids?" Kitty wanted to know next.

"They're fine," Emma told her, sporting a nasty bruise on her jaw from what could only be suspected as Danger's fist.

"Scott?"

"Alive," his voice sounded from the bed behind her where he sat, his arms crossed over his chest. Somewhat stiff, Kitty threw her legs off the side of the bed, twisting around so she could see Cyclops as well.

"The school getting attacked, kids in danger, waking up in the infirmary; it sure feels good to be home," she rolled her eyes, "Any idea where Danger _went_?"

"We haven't a clue, Kitten," Emma said as she walked up next to Scott, placing her hand on his shoulder. He reached up to place his own over it, but his eyes stayed on Kitty.

"When I was in there with her, she said something about a 'father'. I think she wants revenge. I think she's going to Genosha," she explained, her eyes locked on Scott as if to gauge his reaction.

"You think she's after Xavier?" He asked, though he didn't really need to. It made perfect sense. Emma tilted her head to the side, peering at Scott to convey her confusion.

"I'm sorry, Emma. He made us swear we wouldn't tell anyone," Scott's voice was apologetic and he squeezed her hand in his, "Not even you."

Kitty nodded, "She didn't kill us or any of the kids. She could have if she wanted to, but that wasn't her objective. She just needed us out of the way so she could get to _him_."

"I'll go get the jet prepped," Scott said, pushing himself off the bed and making for the door with Emma and Hank in tow.

"Wait," Illyana's strained voice halted them in the doorway. She pushed herself up, resting back slightly against her hands that were pressed against the mattress behind her, "I can take us."

At the sound of Magik's voice, weak as it was, Kitty turned, a small, relieved smile tugging at her lips. The tightness in her throat reminded her that they had almost lost her, "Are you sure you're up to it, Yana?"

Illyana scrunched up her nose as a smile crossed her lips and she raised her hand, giving the brunette a thumbs up as the silent answer to her question.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The X-Men follow Danger to Genosha and confront Xavier.

### Previously in Astonishing X-Men....

> After losing his abilities when Ord attacked the institute, Wing committed suicide in the Danger Room. This allowed Danger, the sentient Shi'ar technology that powers the simulations, to overcome the parent program that prevented her from killing. She called a broken, long-ago-defeated Sentinel to attack the institute. When Kitty took the students down the the Danger Room to protect them from the destruction, they were all sealed in. While Kitty and the students endured Danger's mind games, the X-Men attempted to break into save them. When they eventually did, they were trapped in a scenario with Danger, who knew all their weaknesses and battle strategies from years of training with them. The X-Men lost, and Emma Frost allowed Danger to escape. Waking up in the infirmary with the rest of the team, Kitty realized that Danger must be heading for Professor Xavier, who is on Genosha.

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In all her time gone, Illyana had almost forgotten how unexpected and absolutely hectic things at the Institute could be. She didn't know _how_ she could have forgotten that fact, it'd happened almost every day when she was on the aptly-nicknamed "Baby Brigade", but she had. Never in her life had she expected the Danger Room to come to _life_ , if you could even _call_ it that. Back in her New Mutant days this would have been something she was shut out of dealing with. She would have been sent to study or do something with her teammates while the X-Men handled it. But now she _was_ an X-Man and she _was_ dealing with it and despite the extreme circumstances of the situation, Illyana couldn't deny the excitement that thought still brought on.

As Magik got herself into uniform, Kitty had been suiting up beside her all the while. The blonde couldn't help but take occasional glances at the other girl, but it wasn't to sneak a peek or anything of the sort. She was looking for a sign, any indication that her girlfriend was not okay with the mission they were about to embark on. Shadowcat had her game face on though, so it was a little harder to tell than usual.

If Kitty had known that Illyana knew about what had happened to her father on Genosha, they may have had a chance to talk about it _before_ something like this came up. But when Kitty had told her about Genosha in order to explain how Emma had ended up with the X-Men, she had conveniently left out the part concerning Mr. Pryde. It was only in talking to Scott, hoping to get more information about the place or the mission, that she had found out. She'd brought it up to Scott before she had come to suit up, questioning him a little on the subject to get her facts straight. He'd explained a lot, and she could tell it was a rough subject for him to talk about. Hell, it'd been a rough subject to _listen to_. But before she left, he'd told her that Kitty's father had died there, and that Kitty had been on the island, too. Shadowcat may have been one of the strongest people she'd ever known, but that didn't stop the gnawing concern in her gut for her girlfriend. Having to go back there wouldn't be easy.

Illyana dropped her boot down onto the metal bench by the row of lockers where hers was located with a heavy _clang_. She fastened it up tightly, adjusting it until it fit snugly to her liking and then she was placing it back down on the floor with the other one that had already been done up. It was then that she finally turned to Kitty, arms crossed very loosely over her chest, "Katya?"

Kitty's face was buried in her locker, her eyes staring at the tiny mirror on its door as she pulled her hair up into a tight, high ponytail, hastily sticking bobby pins into the strands that hadn't quite made it and purposefully ignoring the slight twinge in her gut. She knew what it was, of course, but that didn't meant she wanted to deal with it right then. The X-Men, the _professor_ did not have time for her to be getting upset over things she couldn't change. Wing's death, her father's death, _all_ the deaths on Genosha... thinking about any of them now was only going to get in the way.

Illyana's voice made her hopeful that she was about to be distracted from those thoughts. She turned towards her, "What's up?"

But, not so much. Illyana put her hands on Kitty's biceps, her thumbs rubbing over the toned muscle she found there. The blonde looked her in the eyes, "Are you sure you're okay to go?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Kitty asked her, struggling to keep the slightly defiant, slightly offended note out of her voice when she did so. This was one of the few times Illyana actually struggled with her words, not wanting to upset her girlfriend or say the wrong thing. She quickly re-learned that thinking before speaking was _hard_.

"Scott told me about your father," she finally said, reaching her hand up to gently cup Kitty's cheek. Her voice was gentle, sincere, "You shouldn't have to go back there, lapushka*."

Kitty dropped her gaze to the ground and bit down on her tongue to keep her eyes from watering. If it had been anyone else, she would have shrugged out of their grasp already and insisted that she was an X-Man, of course she was fine, but she knew Illyana hadn't meant it to be condescending. She was only concerned, and Kitty was touched. But that didn't change the facts.

"The professor needs us," she insisted, lifting her eyes back to her girlfriend's, "And I'm not the only one who lost someone."

"And that means what?" Illyana asked softly, her thumb gently stroking over Kitty's cheek, "You are just as important as anyone else who lost someone there. You shouldn't have to go if it hurts you, Katya. The others would understand."

"Sixteen million mutants, Yana," Shadowcat frowned, shaking her head, "We're all hurt. We can't all not go. We can't let it be sixteen million and one."

Illyana knew she was upset, could see the sadness that lurked behind her determined eyes, but Kitty had always been a fighter and the blonde wasn't going to push the subject when she knew she'd already received the final answer. So instead of continuing to try and talk her out of it, Magik pressed a kiss to her forehead and then pulled her into a supportive embrace, "We won't."

Kitty tucked her head under the blonde's chin, her cheek against her collarbone, and squeezed her eyes closed. She gave herself only a moment to enjoy that luxury, however, before she was pulling away. The smile she flashed Illyana was partly to reassure her, and partly to thank her, "We should go."

* * *

 

The X-Men, all decked out in their uniforms, rose up from Illyana's stepping disc on the shore of Genosha just behind the professor. He seemed to be unharmed, but talking to something cradled in his lap. It was a strange sight, given the devastation that stretched beyond him as far as the eye could see. He didn't seem to know they were there, so silent was their entrance, and it was no sooner had they emerged that he was tossing Danger's head and the mess of blue cables that constituted her hair over his shoulder.

Illyana caught it in her hands, the A.I.'s cold, dead face staring right up to her. She looked down at it, realizing that maybe she wasn't as dead as they thought she was when a faint blue light shimmered in the empty eye sockets for a brief moment. Then, she heard a voice in her head. The robotic, feminine voice of Danger herself that spoke over the voice of the Professor who was trying to communicate with her telepathically at the same time.

"We aren't that much different, you know," Danger spoke, her words being the only thing that was stopping Magik from mystically incinerating her metal head, "I was locked up, too. Father knew I was in there. I called out to him, once. I asked him where I was. I didn't realize for a long time that he had heard me and chose to ignore me. He kept me trapped in there so that he could train all of you."

"Prof. did us proud. Now get rid of it, kid," Logan was urging her. evidently not hearing any of what the blonde was. Illyana looked up from Danger's face, her eyes momentarily flaring a demonic yellowish-orange when they found Xavier. Wordlessly, she dropped the A.I.'s head from her hands.

"Logan," Scott said, the tilt of his chin indicating that his attention was on Danger, "Just put a claw through—"

A thunderous sound that somewhat resembled that of violent waves crashing against the shore drowned out the rest of his words, if indeed Cyclops had continued speaking given what was unfolding before them all. A enormous, twisted, rusted hunk of metal was rising from the ocean, water pouring from it as it gradually revealed more and more of itself. A Sentinel. _The_ Sentinel.

"Oh my God," Kitty murmured.

"Oh God," Emma echoed, squeezing her eyes shut as she sunk to her knees. She grabbed her head with both hands, the very vivid and painful memories of the massacre flashing violently through her mind. This was the _last_ thing she needed. Thankfully, the others were too pre-occupied by the genocidal sentinel casting them in a giant shadow to notice her weakness.

"Professor?" Hank started, yellow eyes trained on the mechanical monstrosity, "Emma? Thoughts?"

Before anyone could even collect themselves enough to answer, the Sentinel's mechanical voice made its announcement: "Mode: Total wipeout. Ten-second power-up to full capacity. Please hold."

They all continued to stare at it, expressions similarly horrified and justifiably without hope. That was, until Scott's jaw clenched tightly and he raised his hand to the sleek visor on his face, "Get behind me!"

But that wasn't going to work and Kitty knew it. There was no _time_ , even if Scott's blast could be so effective against something so huge. She flung her arms out on either side of her, "No time! Everyone grab hold! _Now!_ "

There were hands on her, Kitty knew that much. How many, she didn't know. There was no time to count, to stop and wonder, not with the belly of the beast opening up and glowing such a dangerous shade of orange. Still, she waited as long as she could, cutting it as fine as she dared, to make them all intangible. It seemed like only the smallest fraction of a second later, they were surrounded in roaring fire, an inferno burning so hot and brightly that it felt like it could obliterate her despite her lack of corporeality. It lasted for what felt like a life time, to the point where Kitty was no longer sure if she was even still phased, even still alive. She couldn't even feel anyone else's hands on her anymore, couldn't distinguish her own body from the flames coursing through it.

When it finally ended, when the ruins of Genosha were once again visible, Kitty held them all longer still, just to make sure. Blackness crawled across her vision, the world seeming to tilt and warp around her as her pulse pounded in her ears, and yet a triumphant smile tugged at the corner of her lips. She could feel the other bodies around her, alive, safe, could have sworn she felt something snarky leave her lips, but reality suddenly seemed too far away to be able to know for sure.

She staggered backwards into Illyana's arms that caught her without a second thought. She held her upright, trying to keep her stable on her feet even as the killing machine revealed its next move, "Insufficient power. Initiating wave two. Mode: Swarm."

"Punkin'?" Logan queried, his eyes on the Sentinel as its stomach opened yet again, this time to unleash a horde of giant mechanical insects.

"I'm good," Kitty assured him, though her frantic nodding and the way she still clung to Magik made it seem otherwise.

"Beast, get the Professor to safety," Scott barked even as he stared at the swarm approaching them. Hank didn't hesitate to hoist the Xavier over his shoulder, vaulting them over the ruins of what used to be a wall and making a run for it.

Cyclops made the first move, unleashing a powerful optic blast into the horde as Wolverine sprung forward, slicing and dicing. Illyana carefully lowered Kitty to her knees before she turned herself towards their incoming attackers and with one fist clenched, the hilt of her Soulsword formed in her grasp. She seemingly pulled the glowing blade from the palm of her other hand and once it had been completely "unsheathed", she dashed forward to Logan's side, slashing violently.

The Genoshan shoreline was quickly turned into a battlefield, the mechanical swarm endlessly raining down on them from the depths of the gigantic sentinel. While Logan was busy swinging his claws and Scott was firing off blast after blast, Illyana's blade cut down one of the robotic bugs in mid-air. She quickly twisted around, slicing through another, then another and another until a ring of their sparking remains laid at her feet. The shells of Kitty's victims were far less contained, as she dived and rolled about above the heads of her teammates, collecting as many bugs in a single move as she could. Completely intangible, the bots passed harmlessly — for her, anyway — through her body, fizzling and crackling, throwing off blue sparks as their systems overloaded and they dropped like rocks to be avoided by the X-Men on the ground.

"They're still coming!" Logan snarled as his claws ripped apart another one.

"We need to regroup, they're overwhelming us!" Scott shouted, his head turning to look at his team. Little did he notice, it left him open for attack by one resembling a beetle with a spiked mace for a hand. It swung towards him, only to receive a diamond fist to the side of its face that sent it crashing to the ground. It met its end when Emma's foot crushed its skull beneath the heel of her boot.

"That was careless, darling," she told him as he looked on, his expression torn between grateful and self-deprecating for his carelessness.

"We're getting nowhere! I'm not going to be able to phase us _again_ if we let it power up!" Kitty called down at them, "We need to shut it down!"

"One a' you got any ideas?" Logan asked, although his eyes were on Cyclops as he spoke.

"If I could get up there I could do a lot more damage," Shadowcat pointed out, descending to the ground to join the rest of them, "It'd take way too long if I tried to get up there myself."

Illyana stabbed her sword through one of the mechanical insect's abdomens, slinging it off for Wolverine to finish slicing up. She turned to look at Kitty, "You want me to take you?"

Kitty nodded slowly, biting her lip, her eyes on the Sentinel and her eyes calculating. Then, she pointed at the sky just above it, "Can you get me there? Just over its head?"

"Of course, Katya," Illyana didn't give anyone a chance to protest the idea before she was wrapping her arm around Kitty's waist and calling a stepping disc to them. It carried them up, dropping them just above the Sentinel like her girlfriend had asked. But the moment Magik dropped the brunette, she was forced to teleport herself back down to the ground lest she find _herself_ becoming the bug and the giant robot's head...well, the windshield.

"You can't just teleport all of your problems away, darling," Emma chastised her, the expression on her face almost shocked.

"Watch me," Illyana managed to get in before Scott spoke, a bratty little grin on her face that Emma surely remembered from the days when the younger blonde had been a massive pain in her ass.

"No, that was a good call, Magik. Shadowcat's got a shot up there," the leader of the X-Men praised her in his own way, chin tilted up to indicate that his eyes were on the Sentinel.

"That hunk a' metal seems to know it, too," Wolverine grumbled, indicating the increasing number of bugs dropping from its stomach. The X-Men got back to work.

Inside the Sentinel, Kitty was phasing through wires and cables thicker than her own body, leaving behind a trail of destruction that actually didn't seem to be impeding the machine at all — as far as she could tell from inside, that was. In fact, it seemed as if her efforts were only causing a minor annoyance in that, for every thing she destroyed, the system was merely rerouted somewhere else and sent smaller drones to repair the damage. It didn't matter how many times she changed direction to try and cut it off, she was thwarted at every turn.

"I have a full run down of your abilities. If you phase through my key systems I will only reroute them," the strangely ominous, computerized voice of the Sentinel informed her.

She hated when computers talked back.

"Oh come on," she sighed exasperatedly, "I have to be smarter than this. Yes — Score! Manual override here I come!"

She descended quickly towards the multitude of screens she had spotted, solidifying on the platform that held it up. Her fingers typed madly at the keyboard, scrolling through mountains of glowing green binary, entering prompt after prompt, only to come up against a digital brick wall every time. It took her only a moment to work out what was doing it, but by the time she had done so, a swarm of drones here buzzing threateningly behind her.

Kitty ignored them, speaking to the Sentinel instead, "What is mempath 164.3-9 alpha 6?"

"That pathway is blocked."

"I can see that," Shadowcat snapped, entering yet another prompt just for it to fail, "But _why_ is it blocked?"

"It is a subset of the original Genosha directive. It does not contain necessary information."

Kitty loved when computers talked back.

"So why can't you see it? It couldn't hurt you," she pointed out.

Suddenly, the figures on the main screen started whirring, the code moving so quickly that she wasn't even able to read the numbers as they sped past. But, she did notice when they stopped being numbers. They turned to names, Thousands and thousands, _millions_ of names flashing in front of her eyes. On the other screens, photographs appeared. Happy, smiling people lounging on beaches she recognized to be a part of Genosha, walking through malls she knew to have been built there, playing with young children she knew to be dead.

Kitty's eyes were drawn back to the main screen when a single number started flashing on it.

"16,025,333."

Outside, the swarm of insects suddenly stopped attacking, influenced by something that the X-Men neither heard or saw. Those bots that were able to turned away from them, their mechanical wings zipping them back up to where they had poured out of in the first place. The relief that spilled across the mutants' tired faces was undeniable, especially when they caught sight of Kitty descending on what could only be described as an invisible set of stairs.

When her feet touched solid ground, she proceeded to stroll up to her teammates, taking Illyana's hand in her own once she came to a stop next to her. Overhead, the Sentinel's stomach was closing once more.

Taking this in, the expression on Kitty's face was surprisingly understanding, almost sympathetic. Then she turned to her team. "When Danger brought the Sentinel to life, she reactivated its Genosha protocols, but she had to suppress his _memory_ of Genosha. She knew he wouldn't be able to compute all those deaths. Not with intelligence of his own. Not with a conscience. When I pointed that out to him, well, he didn't feel too good about himself."

"Where's it going?" Scott wondered, looking after it as it carried itself off, ascending high into the sky.

"Into space, I think. He wants to be alone for a while," Shadowcat answered, giving her girlfriend's hand a small squeeze as she did. Illyana squeezed it back and before anyone else could chime in, the voice of the Professor sounded from behind them.

"You have all made me so proud," he said, a smile reflecting as much on his aging features. Illyana could feel the beginnings of rage boiling beneath her skin and she let go of Kitty's hand in favor of stalking angrily towards the wheelchair-bound man.

"You knew," she spat, baring her teeth, "She told me right as I was going to destroy her."

Xavier leaned forward, his eyes squinting as he struggled to look up at her against the brightness of the setting sun behind her, "Illyana, I'm not going to try and read your mind right now. What did Danger say to you?"

"The second you ' _upgraded_ ' the Danger Room, she was born and she called out to you," the blonde gripped her Soulsword in her hand so tightly that her muscles trembled, making the weapon twitch ever-so-slightly in her grasp.

"Illyana..." the tone in his voice as his eyes trailed to the blade in her hand was one of warning. There was not a single part of her in that moment that cared.

"What did she say?" Illyana demanded through clenched teeth. The Professor was silent for a moment as he continued to stare at her, then in guilt—or maybe defeat—he looked away, closing his eyes.

"'Where am I?'" He quietly recalled.

"You _ignored her_ ," She raised her voice, the rage starting to boil over. Her blue eyes were burned away by a demonic yellowish-orange and Scott took a step towards her in caution, only to be stopped by Emma's hand on his arm. Illyana's voice was caught somewhere between the hurt brought on by the empathy she couldn't deny that she felt for Danger and the anger that someone she had admired was responsible for something so heinous, "You knew that she was a _living being_ and you kept her _trapped_ there for _years_ just so you could use her for _experiments_. For your own _gain_."

Illyana was towering over him now, the fierce glow in her eyes dwarfed only by her wicked snarl, "I shouldn't have to tell you why that upsets me."

Kitty merely watched, unwilling to move from the place where Illyana had left her side, unable to even consider moving to intervene. Not when she was completely justified. She did, however, speak up, adding her voice to Magik's as well, though her own was significantly quieter, "Professor, how could you do that?"

"My teams needed to be trained. We needed to protect mutantkind, whatever the cost," was the only thing Xavier gave them in way of an explanation.

"Even when that expense is someone's _freedom_?!" Illyana's voice was almost nothing more than an angry growl.

"That shit sounds just a little too much like _Magneto_ , Chuck," Logan added, his own teeth clenched behind his lips.

Xavier bowed his head in shame. "I can't expect you to forgive me for what I've done, just to understand that I thought I was—"

"Yes you do," Scott wasn't going to take that. He knew Xavier well enough to know bullshit from the truth when it came to him, "We'll all come around, won't we? You figure we've dealt with enough oppression from humans, so what does it hurt to do it to an A.I.?"

"It was never about _oppression_ , Scott. You have to understand that that was never what I intended," the professor tried again, though it was clear nothing he could say was going to get his X-Men back on his side.

"You may not have _meant_ it that way, professor, but that doesn't change the fact that you knew _exactly_ what you were doing. You just never thought we would find out," Kitty put in.

Looking up at Illyana, Xavier could see the respect for the man who had once taught her, who she had once looked up to, die in her eyes along with the demonic glow. She said nothing else to him, just simply stared at him for a long moment more before she moved around him. Then, she stopped but didn't even make an effort to look at him as she quietly spoke, "You are not the man I thought you were, professor. Maybe there are more monsters among us than I thought."

* Sweetheart - Translated from Russian


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the incident with Danger, Illyana and Kitty decide that they need to get away for a while, and where better than to visit Illyana's parents in Russia?

They could respond to a crisis in under fifteen minutes. They could have the crisis handled in under thirty. They could go to space and back in less than twenty-four hours. But the Dark Lords be damned if they had to pack for a vacation in the span of the hours between when classes got out and when it was time to settle in for the night. Illyana had been ready, of course. She didn't teach classes and had a whole bunch of nothing to do with her time so she'd spent her entire day packing her clothes and other necessary items for their trip to Russia the next morning. They'd opted for a _normal vacation_ , one that didn't involve stepping discs or a next-gen aircraft. Nope, they were going the old-fashioned way: airport security, a commercial flight and almost twelve hours worth of air time and a bus out to the country after landing. The whole damn package.

Kitty had bought their tickets almost two weeks ago, the two of them having decided that after the Danger incident that they both needed a break away from it all. So what better to do than pay Illyana's parents a visit? They'd called ahead to let them know about everything, that Illyana was alive—without letting on too many details—and that they were going to come visit the first chance they got, and her mother and father were both relieved and excited. She, however, was a little anxious. She hadn't seen them in years, and the times she had had been brief and that had been _after_ they'd rejected her when she had come to them as a fifteen year old girl instead of the six year old they remembered.

 _'This must be so confusing for them,'_ She thought, feeling a little guilty for what her parents had gone through over the years as a result of their son being an X-Man and their daughter having been kidnapped to Limbo and then spending the time until her supposed 'death' as a member of the New Mutants. But it didn't matter much now. She was back and they'd be reunited again soon enough.

"Katya, we aren't going to get any sleep at this rate," Illyana whined from her place on Kitty's bed where she'd clearly chosen to be useless, leaning her back against her packed suitcase that sat behind her. Her legs hung off the bed, kicking idly as her blue eyes watched the brunette dig something out of her closet. Lockheed laid in her lap, pretending to be asleep, giving her yet another reason to stay right where she was.

"I said you could go," Kitty reminded her. She stood in front of her mirror, a pair of pants held up to her waist. Her lips were pursed and pressed to one side and there was a slight furrow in her brow, "I'm really starting to regret leaving half my stuff behind in London."

"We could go get it," It was Illyana's turn to do the reminding, a little grin on her face that reflected in the mirror where Kitty could see.

"Don't tempt me," the other girl grinned back at her, meeting her eyes in their reflections, "Plus, that would involve stealing from charity. What do you think of these?"

"I think you look good in everything, Katya, do you really want to ask me?" Illyana questioned as her head tipped to the side. The quick once-over she gave the brunette was no where near subtle.

Catching that expression in the mirror, Kitty could not help the smirk that crawled onto her face, "Guess that means I have to try them on then."

Without any further warning, Shadowcat was throwing the pants she held over one shoulder so she could turn her attention onto the ones she was _wearing_. She unfastened them and stripped them off, letting them fall into a heap in the floor before she was bending over to pull the other ones on, Illyana's appreciative gaze on her the entire time. The blonde bit down on her bottom lip, eyes trailing up her smooth, toned legs until they were locked out of sight by the new pants. Lockheed snorted.

As soon as they were fit snugly around her hips, Kitty was twisting this way and that in the mirror. It didn't take her long to reach her decision, and then she was yanking them off all over again. The whole effort may have seemed like wasted time from the outside, but from where the brunette was standing, the certain tingly thrill she got out of undressing in front of her girlfriend was well worth it. In only her underwear and a light sweater, she waltzed back over to the bed to add the pants to the suitcase.

She had never been very good at packing, and it certainly didn't help that they weren't exactly sure how long they were going to be staying in Russia for. And then, of course, was the fact that she had far too many clothes. Even knowing that, Kitty still felt that she had nothing that she wanted to wear.

She examined what was in the suitcase already: a few long sleeve shirts and jumpers, some pants and thermal underwear—because last time she had been in Russia she had practically frozen her butt off. The suitcase was almost full as it was, and she still needed shoes, socks and underwear.

"Do you think that's enough pants?" she asked, only to add, "And shirts? And jackets?"

"Yeeeessss," Illyana laughed, tipping her head back so it laid against her suitcase and she cut her eyes towards Kitty, "You worry too much."

"I just want to be prepared!" Kitty protested. She scowled down into the bag for a few moments longer, unnecessarily rearranging what was inside it. She let out a exasperated sigh and moved back to her closet.

"Move, dragon," Illyana murmured, gently pushing Lockheed off her lap. He glared at her with an angry little grunting sound as he sat himself down on the bed beside her. The blonde stretched out on the bed then, her legs reaching towards the pillows with her head towards the end. She propped her head up with her hand against her cheek, elbow pressed into the mattress. It was taking everything in her to keep her eyes off Kitty's ass and the back of her thighs, but no matter how hard she tried they continually dragged themselves back there, "Katya, do you need help?"

" _Now_ you ask," the other girl exclaimed, throwing a cheeky smile over her shoulder. She pointed to the top of her cupboard, where things were packed in so tightly and so haphazardly and so obviously out of Kitty's reach. "I think my ugg boots are up there somewhere."

"I'm coming, short-stuff," Illyana grinned, practically popping off the bed and onto her feet. She made a quick stride across the room to Kitty's side, tilting her chin up to examine what she was working with. She let out a quick, amused laugh, "Did you just throw all of that stuff up there?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Kitty laughed with her, moving back to the pants she had left on the floor. She pulled them on as Illyana started tossing things out of the wardrobe.

"So this is what happens when I'm not here to fix your messes," The blonde teased her, fishing around blindly for the soft, fuzzy shoes. For a second, Kitty just stared, sure her ears were deceiving her.

"You? Fix _my_ messes?" she scoffed. Illyana turned her head to stare right back at her while her hands continued their search.

"Katya, your side of the room was _hopeless_ ," she recalled, grinning all the while.

"Well there was no point _cleaning it_ when your side was just as bad!" the other girl argued. She stepped up beside Illyana to join in the search then, mounting an invisible set of stairs until the shelf was at eye-height. She phased her head right through the chaos in front to look around.

"You said you needed my help when you could have done this the entire time?" Illyana asked, giving her girlfriend a playful glare as she purposely dug through the mess a little more quickly, now determined to find the boots first.

Kitty ignored her, mostly because her mouth was currently phased through a box of Star Wars collectibles, but also because she had no real answer to that question. When she did remove her head, it was with an excited gasp. She stuck her arm back into the same place, feeling around until she managed to grab hold of the soft toy she had caught sight of. She dragged it into view. "Yana, look!"

Illyana pulled her gaze away from the cluttered mess to find what had gotten Kitty so riled up. In her hands was an old, scrawny brown teddy bear that she recognized very well from her childhood. It had been one of the many that had taken up residence on her bed whenever she wasn't sleeping in it—and sometimes when she was, too—but it was arguably her favorite. She couldn't believe Kitty still had it.

The Russian carefully took it from the other girl's hands, holding it delicately in her own instead. She was afraid of holding it any tighter, like it'd crumble to dust in her grasp if she did. She peered down at it, a smile tugging at her lips, "You kept it."

"It wasn't like I could throw it away," Kitty explained, smiling at the expression on her girlfriend's face. Magik pulled her into a tight embrace, holding the teddy bear against the back of the brunette's shoulder as she did.

"Oh Katya," She said quietly as she pulled away, bringing the plush toy back around to her own body to cradle it against her with one arm, "Thank you."

"Of course," Shadowcat told her, dipping her head as if it was no trouble at all. With her free arm, Illyana reached out and placed her hand on the back of Kitty's head, drawing her in for a deep, appreciative kiss. The other girl grinned against her mouth, genuinely surprised that she had received _that_ much of a reaction over the bear. But she was not complaining. She drew the kiss out, her arms wrapped around Illyana's waist and the bear trapped between their bodies.

When she eventually withdrew, she was still grinning, "We aren't going to get any sleep at this rate."

"I already told you that," Illyana reminded her with a grin of her own, "and we still haven't found your shoes."

"I _think_ I saw one in there," Kitty told her.

"Get it, I'm gonna go put this in my bag," Illyana said, already walking off before she'd finished talking. She crawled back on to the bed, sitting on her haunches and leaning forward to unzip the suitcase. There was just enough room inside for her to gently pack the teddy bear in, then she zipped it right back up and turned back around to watch Kitty dig.

After phasing her upper body back inside the mess, it didn't take the brunette too much longer to locate and yank out her ugg boots. She lowered herself back to the ground and moved back to her suitcase to pack them inside, thinking outloud, "Okay, so I can wear my sneakers to the airport and carry my big jacket on board with my laptop and my book... I just need toiletries and underwear now, right? Is that everything?"

Illyana rolled her eyes to the ceiling in thought, her lips moving but no words coming out while she went over Kitty's list as well as her own in her head. Coming to the conclusion that was indeed everything, she gave the brunette a quick assuring nod, "Yup!"

"Okay," she nodded, eyes narrowed just slightly as she did so. When she couldn't think of a single other thing she needed, she returned to her wardrobe. She didn't waste time searching through her underwear drawer, coming back with an armful of bras, socks and panties that she dumped into her bag on top of everything else.

"I can probably work out the toiletries tomorrow morning before we go," she reasoned, "So, that's it! Wait... scarves! And a beanie!" She hurried back over to the closest. Illyana just shook her head, planting her elbows against her thighs and holding her cheeks in her hands.

"Oooh, these are cute. I forgot I had these," Kitty was musing, mostly to herself.

Lockheed had seemed to reach his breaking point. Abruptly, he launched himself from the bed, snatching just two of the colorful items from the brunette's hands. He flew back over to her suitcase and dumped them inside, then flipped the lid closed.

"Lockheed!" Kitty cried after him, but he was sitting on the top and refused to budge and only growled at her when she tried to move him.

"Fine," she glared at him, "I'll just take the rest in my hand luggage."

* * *

"I'm already starting to regret this," Kitty sighed, her eyes on the safety manual that she had gotten out of her seat pocket, a dubious frown on her face. Beside her, cabin crew were moving up and down the aisles, helping people put their bags into the overhead compartments and instructing passengers again and again to please put their seats forward and stow their tray tables in their locked and upright positions.

"The guy in front of me smells funny," Illyana murmured, face towards Kitty, but obviously not quietly enough because the man made a disgruntled sound and the woman next to him, presumably his wife, shot a look back at them. The blonde blinked like she had nothing to do with the words that had been spoken, then bit down on her lip to stop herself from laughing when the woman turned back around. She whispered, "Oops."

"Yana!" Kitty hissed at her, trying to contain her smile and the giggles that wanted to escape from it. She elbowed her in the side just as a baby started crying somewhere behind them. She groaned and sunk down in her seat, " _Really_ starting to regret this."

"Who brings babies on airplanes," Illyana wondered aloud, much quieter this time as she, too, sunk into her seat and crossed her arms over her chest, "That's like bringing a baby to a movie theater except worse."

"Oh my God do you _smell it_?" Kitty whispered, covering her mouth with her hand this time and screwing her eyes closed.

"Guh- _ross_ ," Magik cringed, pulling the collar of her black t-shirt up over her nose and holding it there. She cut her eyes towards the aisle, fully intending to glare the owner of the shrieking child down but was disappointed when she couldn't see them from her seat.

"I surrender," Kitty laughed, waving her hand in front of her face, "Can we call Scott yet? Or take a stepping disc and just _say_ we didn't?"

"We can handle computers gone wild but not baby stink?" Illyana asked, voice muffled through the cloth. She teasingly added, "If we can't tough this out then maybe we need to go back to the Baby Brigade."

"Hey!" Kitty laughed harder, suddenly sitting up straighter, "Speak for yourself! _I_ am totally cool with baby stink."

Illyana glared at her from over her shirt, "You sure turned that around fast."

"I phased my nose."

"Katya!" Illyana hollered, bursting into laughter before she'd gotten her name completely out. She dropped her shirt from her nose and instead grabbed for the men's health magazine tucked into the back of the seat in front of her. She ripped a page of it out, then tore two strips off of it that she twisted into makeshift "plugs" and stuffed them up her nostrils, "There."

Kitty raised one eyebrow, her expression incredulous. "You couldn't have just cast a spell?"

"I don't know the spell to clear the air of gross baby butt off the top of my head," Illyana retorted, crossing her eyes to look down at her own nose.

"What about the one where you don't embarrass your girlfriend by having bits of paper jammed up your nose?" the brunette asked, leaning over to her and pulling the items in question out of the blonde's nostrils. She dropped them into her lap instead. Illyana scrunched up her nose in playful disgust.

"The least you can do is distract me until it's gone," she hinted, a devious little grin forming on her lips.

"The least I can do, huh?" Kitty smirked at her. She lifted one hand, cupping it around Magik's cheek to close the distance between them. Their lips met in a soft, affectionate kiss.

A second later, someone cleaned their throat in the aisle behind Kitty. They didn't break apart straight away, barely registering the sound and not attributing it to something they needed to worry about anyway. That was, until it came again.

"E _hem_."

Kitty broke their mouths apart and twisted around to see a balding, middle-aged man leering down at them. He pointed at the chair on the other side of Illyana. "That's my seat."

"Oh, I'm sorry!" the brunette said hastily, immediately unclipping her seatbelt to ease out into the corridor. Illyana, however, didn't bother at all to move, annoyed by the interruption the man brought with him. She sat up completely straight, tucking her legs beneath her seat as best as she could to let him move—with quite a bit of difficulty—passed her. With a great deal of annoyed grumbling, the man fell into his seat, and Kitty took hers.

When they eventually took off—with both the girls appalled at just how long and unnecessary the process had been— the first leg of their journey passed with the two of them vacillating between serious boredom and a ridiculous amount of laughing and whining about how long it was taking them to get anywhere. They had watched movies on the tiny screens on the back of the seats in front of them, holding hands on the armrest they shared, played games together on Kitty's laptop while sharing headphones and annoying everyone else around them. They had bickered playfully and loudly over trivial things, murmured quietly to each other about more important ones, snuck several kisses in, and dozed with their heads against each other's. Hours later, when they finally reached their layover in Amsterdam, both were eager to stretch their legs.

The first thing Illyana did once they'd filed into the airport was drag Kitty across the entire concourse until they found the closest restaurant serving burgers and milkshakes. She had a craving and she had it bad, which was precisely why she'd given her girlfriend no room to argue. She had had more than enough of peanuts and water in stupid tiny plastic cups—she wanted _real_ food. After the completely flavorless piece of fish she had only picked at during their flight, Kitty certainly wasn't complaining. She ordered the biggest burger on the menu and waited impatiently for it to arrive, stealing sips from Illyana's milkshake as she did.

"The airport's a lot more fun than the actual air _plane_ ," Illyana mused, chewing on the end of her straw as her blue eyes roved over the dining area of the restaurant they'd chosen.

Kitty narrowed her eyes at her, "Are you only saying that because they have milkshakes?"

"No," Illyana lied, sucking so exaggeratedly hard on the straw that her cheeks caved inwards. Kitty rolled her eyes, her gaze drifting towards the doors of the restaurant and beyond. They had some time to kill before their next flight boarded, but it wasn't enough to really leave the airport and _do_ anything, but despite Illyana's words, there wasn't _that_ much to keep them occupied. Unless...

"You know... The drinking age in Amsterdam is only eighteen."

Illyana blew the straw out of her mouth, a smirk quickly growing on her lips, "You know what would make the next flight more tolerable?"

"For us, or for everyone else?" Kitty grinned at her.

"Screw everyone else," Illyana's smirk turned devilish, "You wanna?"

As if on cue, the buzzer on their table lit up and started vibrating loudly. Kitty snagged it up and rose to her feet. "As soon as I finish my burger. I'm going to need something to absorb all that alcohol we're going to need."

* * *

Illyana set an empty shot glass down on the bar counter, poking it away with her index finger, laughing all the while. She'd already had a few of them and there were more where that came from, not to mention the glass that was half-full of a light blue beverage she'd gotten tired of and pushed off on Kitty instead.

Kitty had her elbows on the counter and her face in her hands. Her chest was rising and falling quickly with each breath, despite her efforts to remain calm and collected enough so that there would be no doubt about their sanity when they tried to board the next flight. That was why she could no longer look at her girlfriend. Even hearing her moving beside her set off the trembling in her abdomen that made her want to laugh all over again.

"Shhhh," she cooed to herself, her shoulders shaking with her suppressed joy.

"Are we gonna get in trouble for charging this to Scott's card?" Illyana asked, much too late to be concerned about it now. But she couldn't have been all that worried, because she was laughing again as soon as the words were out of her mouth.

Kitty groaned into her hands, then let out a burst of hysterical laughter to accompany Illyana's own, "I bet he checks the purchases on every single account."

Illyana threw her head back, laughing even harder and almost choking on the liquid she dumped down her throat from the next shot. She swallowed it and let her head fall back forward, blinking almost violently, "How do people do that, that hurts my neck."

The other mutant just shook her head, finally dropping her hands away from her face. Against her better judgement, she reached for the blue drink Illyana had ordered. She didn't like it, but she wanted it anyway. As soon as it touched her tongue then burned a bitter trail down her throat, she regretted it. But still, she drunk more. She let her body slump forward, exhausted.

"I'm going to sleep right through the next flight," she announced.

"Maybe if I drink enough it'll numb everything and I won't be able to smell any more baby stink," Illyana pondered the idea, swirling another shot glass and not even caring when the liquid within splashed out onto her fingers.

"Or old people stink," Kitty added, "Or bad plane food stink. Or why-didn't-we-just-stepping-disc stink."

"'Normal' vacation, we said," Illyana tacked on to the jestful scorn of their own actions, "'It'll be fun', we said."

"'We should drink', we said," the brunette laughed.

"We're gonna regret this later," Illyana realized, but even still she threw back the shot she'd mostly already sloshed out onto the counter by playing with it.

"Like when we turn up on your parents' doorstep," Kitty reminded her, watching her girlfriend throw her head back. She almost gagged imagining the taste of the liquid in her mouth.

"Maybe we should stay in a hotel," Illyana managed through the twisted face she made as the alcohol finished its assault on her throat and then she added playfully, "They can't know you've turned me into a 'bad girl'."

The thoughts that sprung to Kitty's mind with those words were ones she would much prefer to blame on the alcohol. She took another drink from her own glass as if to assure herself of that, spluttering and laughing and blushing as she did so. "Maybe that would be a good idea," she agreed.

* * *

One exceedingly more tolerable plane ride and several hours later, Illyana found herself lying on her side in the center of the single bed in the hotel room they'd managed to get not far from the airport. She'd tied her hair, still wet from the shower she'd taken before she'd laid down, into a low ponytail that she'd pulled over her shoulder. Her eyes were half closed, her vision blurred as she teetered between the consciousness that she wanted to keep and the sleep that wanted to take her. She could barely make out the time on the clock, but she knew it was late — or early — so whatever the hour was was irrelevant at that point anyway. A cool breeze blew over her from the air conditioner by the window and the goosebumps that raised on her skin made her mentally curse herself for not turning it off before she'd laid down. She was way too tired to get back up, so she opted instead to snuggle deeper into the sheets while she waited for Kitty to join her.

It was strange knowing she was this close to her parents. As happy as she was to see them again, she was glad for the turn of events that saw them grabbing a hotel for the night instead of going straight out to their farm. She needed a little more time to breathe, a little more time to prepare herself. Would it really make a difference? Probably not, no, but the _idea_ made her feel better and that was what mattered. It probably wouldn't be as bad as her anxieties were making it out to be, especially not with Kitty there with her, but Illyana's mind had a penchant for running wild sometimes and this was no exception.

Kitty was taking the time to dry her hair and just generally freshen up from their trip. They was something about the recycled air on an airplane that made her skin feel clammy and dirty, and she was having a hard time making that feeling go away, even after the burning hot shower she had taken. Hopefully a good night's sleep would fix that. She finished brushing her teeth, pulled her comb through her hair one last time, and finally exited the bathroom. The lights were out in the main room, the air conditioner whirring quietly just like it had been all day on the planes. Why that air conditioner was set on _cold_ when it was already freezing outside, she did not know.

She crept across the room to the bed, thinking that Illyana might be asleep already, and slipped under the covers behind her, facing her back but not wanting to get too close in case she woke her up.

"Mm mm," Illyana hummed her disapproval, tiredly reaching behind her and feeling around until she found the front of Kitty's pajama shirt. She tugged on it and with an obvious drowsiness to her voice she muttered, "Come here."

"I didn't know you were awake still," Kitty told her, nevertheless wiggling across the mattress to her girlfriend. She draped one arm over her waist while the other curled up under her own head, her chest pressing against her back and revelling in the warmth that radiated from her.

"I was waiting for you," Illyana rested her arm over Kitty's, intertwining their fingers and giving her hand a gentle squeeze. Magik relaxed her body against her, turning her head slightly to look over her shoulder at her, "Feel better?"

"I do now," Kitty smiled at her. She pressed her face against the other girl's shoulder, kissing the back of it through the thin material of her shirt. "I'm sorry we didn't get to go straight to your parents'."

"Hey, don't apologize," Illyana squeezed her hand again, finally letting her aching eyes close completely. She almost sighed at the sudden rush of relief that one small action gave her, "I'm okay with this."

"It beats getting on a bus at six in the morning," the brunette pointed out, the tips of her fingers absentmindedly stroking over the back of her girlfriend's hand.

"No kidding," She agreed, falling quiet afterwards. She stayed that way for a long few moments before she turned her body in Kitty's arms as much as she could without breaking their embrace so that she could look the other mutant in the eyes, "Thank you for coming here with me, Katya."

Kitty leaned forward just far enough to catch her girlfriend's lips in a soft, tired kiss. When she pulled away, a smile still danced at her lips, "I wouldn't have missed it for the world."


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kitty and Illyana have finally arrived in Russia and spend some time with Mr. and Mrs. Rasputin before walking out to the lake to stretch their legs.

> **Author's Note:** All exchanges between Illyana, Kitty and Illyana's parents take place in Russian. Kitty and Illyana interact in English still.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was one of the farmhands that met Illyana and Kitty at the bus stop the next afternoon, saving them a long trudge through the snow up to the main house. After sitting down for so long, first on their flight from JFK to Amsterdam then from Amsterdam to Ust-Kut the day before, then on the three hour bus ride to get from there to Lake Baikal and the Rasputin's farm, Kitty almost wished he hadn't, just so they'd get to stretch their legs for a little, and because it seemed like Illyana was still not as prepared as she could be. As soon as they were out of the bus and in the below-zero air with their heavy suitcases, however, that thought disappeared quickly.

Despite how long she had taken to pack, when they had left their hotel to catch the bus the next morning, Kitty had quickly realized she had forgotten gloves. And, with her hands wrapped in one of her scarves, she and Illyana had run back to the hotel gift shop to buy her some before their bus left. Still exhausted from the day before and suffering from a serious case of jet lag due to the thirteen hour time difference, the girls had found two seats in the back where they could snuggle up against each other and catch a little more sleep. Or, at least, Kitty had gotten some more sleep. She wasn't sure about Illyana. Every time a bump in the road had jolted her awake, she had found the blonde staring out the window, a thoughtful frown on her face. Kitty had made sure to kiss that expression away before she laid her head back on her shoulder and drifted off again.

It wasn't the first time Kitty had been to Russia, but she did hope it would be her last. It wasn't like she didn't like Illyana's parents, they had always been kind to her. But the first time she had met them it had been to tell them of their daughter's sacrifice. The second time, to tell them of their son's. She was the bearer of bad news for their family, an omen that something tragic had happened to their loved ones once again. Even squashed in the front seat of the cab between Illyana and the farmhand, she could not suppress the creeping feeling of dread. Russia, to her, was the place where she came to accept her loved one's death, twice. Where she had to look their parents in the eyes and tell them that they weren't coming home, not ever. Where she had had to keep herself from crying because their pain had been more than hers. Because she didn't deserve to be hurting as much as they were.

Outside, the lake where she had scattered Piotr's ashes stretched out behind the horizon, its waters likely freezing. Kitty felt a whole new kind of sickness that had nothing to do with having been on the move too long. She wouldn't let Illyana in on that, however. Her girlfriend had enough to fret over as it was. Instead, she smiled and held her hand and watched the main building grow larger in the windshield.

It was a gorgeous, snow-coated two-story farmhouse made of dark wooden logs and accented with lighter ones. The roof had a long, steep slant over the left side that led into a covered deck that served as a workshop of sorts and over the right, a much shorter slant that served as a covering for the second floor balcony. The house was littered with windows to allow in plenty of natural lighting and leading up to the front door was a wooden ramp that was covered in snow and ice.

As the cab pulled up to the house, surrounded by birch trees that had lost a battle with the harsh Russian winter, Illyana's grip on Kitty's hand tightened significantly. She still wasn't ready for this, but there was no turning back now. Definitely not now that the farmhand had slid out of his seat and the door was opening and she could see her mother, aged by worry and stress, peaking out as if to make sure that what she was expecting was truly happening. Illyana's breath caught in her throat and she swallowed hard, looking to her girlfriend and forcing a smile.

Kitty smiled right back at her, twisting her head to drop a tiny, reassuring kiss to the blonde's shoulder that wouldn't be recognizable as what it was from outside. She picked her beanie up from her lap and positioned it on her head, making sure it covered her ears, too, as the farmhand opened the door beside Illyana.

When she stepped out into the biting winter air, everything she had gone over in her head to say to her parents blew away with the harsh wind. She turned to help Kitty out of the car, her attention finally drifting towards where her parents now stood on the tiny excuse for a porch. The two women turned to help the farmhand with their bags only to be waved off, so instead Illyana thanked him with a small exchange in her native language. They then made their way up to the wooden walkway, boots crunching the snow beneath their feet. Illyana might have moved faster, too, if it hadn't been for the layer of ice that threatened to send her toppling onto her ass. What a way that would have been to present herself after all these years.

Her parents' excitement was too much to contain, her mother practically shaking with relief, with pure _joy_ at being face to face with the daughter she thought she'd lost. Her father was better at keeping it together, but not much. His smile was hidden behind a graying beard, but it was there. Before Illyana had even made it to the porch, her mother was practically throwing herself at her with open arms, enveloping her tightly and pulling her within arms reach of her father. He piled on too, the three of them locked together in an embrace that was much overdue. It wasn't long before she could feel her mother trembling and the hot tears that fell against her neck.

"Oh, Illyana," she sobbed as Illyana did the only thing she _could_ do: hold her tighter, "We have missed you so much."

"We are so glad to have you home to us," her father put in, squeezing the both of them as if he could not stand the thought of their bodies not being as close to his as possible. Kitty stood back watching all this, unable to keep the smile off her lips or the tears from welling in her eyes.

"I've missed you too," Illyana told them, laying her head against the top of her mother's, unwilling to pull away from the hug. This wasn't nearly as bad as she thought it was going to be. She was _comfortable_ , and while she had initially thought she would only be holding on to their embrace for the sake of her parents, she soon realized that she was doing it for herself, too.

It took them all some time to pull away from each other, and even then they did not drift far apart. Illyana's mother had her arm wrapped securely around her daughter's as her father helped the farmhand with their suitcases and ushered them inside. Their first stop was just inside the front doors where both of her parents stopped to welcome Kitty as well with hugs and a kiss to her cheek from the two of them. After they had taken their shoes off, it was up the old, creaky stairs to the spare bedroom where a mattress had been laid out and done up next to the bed that was already there. It'd been freshly tidied, obviously for their arrival, and the wooden shutters on the windows were pulled open to allow whatever amount of sunlight that spilled through the sky of heavy, gray clouds to shine into the room.

After more hugs and kisses between the family, Mr. and Mrs. Rasputin reluctantly left them alone to clean themselves up while they prepared them something to eat.

 _'Something warm,'_ , Kitty hoped. As soon as the door had closed behind the pair, she turned to her girlfriend, pulling off her scarf and beanie as she did and tossing them onto her suitcase.

"Soooooo?" she drew the sound out, a grin on her lips as she closed the distance between them to wrap her arms around the blonde's waist, "What do you think?"

"It's weird to be home," Illyana said, her expression mirroring Kitty's happily as she draped her arms over her shoulders, "But a good weird. It feels...nice?"

"Your parents were definitely happy to see you," Shadowcat put in, as if it truly could have been otherwise.

"It was much easier than I imagined it'd be," Magik admitted, lifting a hand to her head to brush her hair behind her ear before she dropped it back down to Kitty's shoulder, "I feel so much better now. I'm not even sure what I was really worried about."

"We better get changed so you can go downstairs and spend more time with them then, huh?" she suggested, retracting her hands to the blonde's hips and smirking up at her. Illyana raised a well-groomed eyebrow, a tame little grin settling on her lips.

"What is that look for, Katya?" She asked her, one hand trailing across her shoulder and coming to rest where it met her neck.

Kitty pressed her lips together, though that did not completely disguise her expression, "What look?"

"I saw that smirk," Illyana called her out, her fingers tracing lightly against her skin.

"It wasn't a smirk," Kitty argued, though the slight grin on her face told Magik that she was well aware she had been caught imagining the both of them undressing, "It was a smile. Because I'm happy for you."

"Uh huh," the tone in the blonde's voice conveyed her disbelief, but in case it wasn't clear enough she squinted skeptically at her girlfriend while her grin remained intact, "Okay, Katya."

Kitty's own grin came out in full force then, and she pressed up on her tippy toes to steal a kiss from Illyana's lips. Magik's hands dropped to Shadowcat's sides then, gently helping to hold her up as she tipped her head downward to deepen it. The other girl's fingers moved into her hair instead, carefully entangled in her silky blonde locks. They remained like that for a good few moments, before silently agreeing that they should be concentrating on getting back to Illyana's parents instead of keeping them waiting.

The two had quickly gotten changed, cleaning themselves up a bit before they made their way downstairs to the kitchen where the pleasant aroma of dried mushroom soup invaded their nostrils and stirred the growling stomachs they'd been ignoring since the bus ride. It was a smell Illyana remembered fondly from her childhood, a meal that no one did better than her father and the memories brought a smile to her face as she sat down in the seat across from her mother.

"It smells very nice," Kitty spoke up as she slid into the seat next to Illyana, watching as Mr. Rasputin carried in a large, ceramic pot from the kitchen with gloved hands. He set it down carefully and sat down himself. He took their bowls from them one at a time, dishing out equal, generous portions into each and smiling as he passed them back.

"How was your trip?" Mrs. Rasputin asked, peering at them from over her glasses. Illyana and Kitty exchanged a knowing look and the blonde couldn't help that amused grin that cracked across her face. She quickly suppressed it, looking down to her bowl for a moment before her gaze found her mother's.

"It was fine," she finally assured her, "we had fun."

"I think I'd forgotten how long it takes to get out here," the brunette added, dipping her spoon into the steaming broth. She lifted it to her lips, blowing delicately across the liquid so she wouldn't burn her tongue.

"We're glad you came to see us," her father put in after swallowing a spoonful of his soup, "and we're glad you came, too, Katerina. You've been such a good friend to our little snowflake."

Illyana turned her head slightly to give Kitty a smile, inconspicuously slipping her free hand from the table and instead placing it on her girlfriend's thigh. She gave it an appreciative squeeze. In silent acknowledgement, Kitty lifted her leg slightly to press it into her hand.

"How could I not be?" she smiled back at the Rasputins before her gaze drifted to the blonde instead,"She's always been such a good friend to me."

By the abyss, Illyana wanted to kiss her. There was hardly a moment when she _didn’t_ want to—or, rather, when she didn’t _think_ about it. But that moment when Kitty’s eyes met hers, it occurred to the blonde just how difficult it was to hold herself back now that the dam had been broken and she no longer had to hide how she felt. At least, not with Kitty. But here, in the presence of her parents where it needed to stay under wraps, she was finding it hard to keep herself from acting on her new habits. If it’d been anyone else, Illyana might have done it anyway but her parents were different. It wasn’t like Logan or Scott or Emma. She was very consciously aware that the relationship between herself and Kitty might not be taken well by her mother and father. Whether or not she thought it was because of them both being young women or because of Kitty’s relationship with her brother, she hadn’t figured that out yet. Maybe it was both. Either way, she hadn’t grown up with her parents, she didn’t know the way they saw things and there was no easy way to find out.  She knew she’d have to tell them eventually before they found out some other way, but their first meal together in years was definitely not the time.

So instead, Illyana just smiled wider and gave her leg another squeeze.

“Illyana, can we ask you something?” her mother asked before poking her spoon into her mouth to take a bite. Illyana inwardly cringed at the thought, but outwardly she nodded. Mrs. Rasputin glanced to her husband, then back to her daughter, “If you were alive all this time, where were you? Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

A few days after they had first found Illyana, before they had called her parents to let her know that their daughter was alive, the girls had talked to Scott and Emma extensively about what they could tell them. Naturally, Illyana didn't want them to have to hear the reality of what had been done to her and spinning a believable tale that didn't stray _too_ far from the truth had taken some work. Still, Kitty doubted that the blonde would feel that comfortable telling it, so she jumped in.

"The doctors at the hospital we found her in said she had been in a coma for the last three years," she started, "She didn't have any identification on her, so they had no one to call, and she didn't show up on the machines we have back at the school until she woke up two months ago. We think that she must have pushed herself way too hard fighting those creatures" — she avoided using the word _demon_ — "and teleported herself right before she fell into the coma."

Both of her parents nodded thoughtfully, digesting the information before her mother's gaze lifted to find the blonde's, "And you don't remember anything?"

She did, of course, but she had no intention of letting that on. She didn't want to retell the story, didn't want to have to recall the events once again. So instead, she lied. Illyana shook her head slowly, putting on a sad smile so it at least _looked_ like she was upset that she supposedly had no memory of the events. The table descended into a solemn silence after that, its occupants focusing on their meals for a time, letting that sink in, before anything else was said again.

Illyana's father spoke this time, "We saw you two on TV fighting that monster in New York."

"I didn't realize we made the news in Russia," Kitty mused, an excited little grin tugging at her lips.

"That's good, right?" Illyana asked, the upward inflection of her voice indicating her own excitement.

"It reminded us why we worry so much but I don't know what any of us would do without you," a proud smile hung at the end of Mr. Rasputin's words.

"We're not going to let anything like this happen to her again," Kitty assured them. This time, she did slip her hand under the table to cover her girlfriend's hand with her own, entwining their fingers. Illyana looked to her and smiled, but it quickly turned into an amused little grin.

"I'll be fine as long as I keep teleporting all my problems away, right Katya?" She asked, giving her hand a playful squeeze even as her parents looked on in obvious confusion.

"Right," Kitty gave her a definitive nod in return, before finally turning back to her soup.

* * *

Their lunch lasted well over an hour between trying to eat and talking, answering any questions her parents had to the best of their ability. There was a lot they left out about things, stuff neither of the girls wanted to say or Illyana simply had no desire to talk about it. There were things she just wanted to keep private and she expected people to understand that. With the X-Men, it was okay. They all had things they preferred to keep to themselves. Kitty didn’t let her get away with keeping a lot in, but that didn’t bother her so much. It had when she was younger, and she’s snapped at the slightly older mutant a few times over it, but Illyana liked to think she’d grown up a bit since then.

After they’d washed up, Illyana had decided she needed some fresh air, even if said air was bitterly cold and there were snow flurries falling from the overcast sky above. They’d bundled back up with Kitty in a heavy coat with her beanie and her scarf and gloves while Illyana had opted for a fleece pullover jacket with gloves of her own, and the two had set out down the trail to the lake.

The trail was covered in snow and hadn’t been walked in a long while it seemed, but even though she had been so young the last time she’d gone down this path she still remembered the way. She also might have fudged a little on the time it’d take to get down there, but after the initial whining groans of the brunette, the distance between the farmhouse and the lake hardly mattered anymore. They changed up from simply walking side-by-side holding hands, to practically skipping and swinging their arms between them, to Kitty piggybacking on Illyana and then switching it around, laughing and teasing each other all the while. It seemed like they could make fun out of almost every situation, even when Kitty could no longer feel her toes and her nose felt like a deformed ice cube that had gotten stuck to her face.

The trail eventually diverged, one path leading up to a two-story lake house that seemed to have been recently converted from a basic boat shed into something more livable and more modern, the other to the shore of the lake itself. The girls took the latter, bringing their journey to a stop at the edge of the lake.

Kitty fixed her beanie so it covered more of her ears and rubbed at her nose with the back of one hand. "Why couldn't your superpower be something to do with heat?" she asked her girlfriend.

"Well, it _is_ , but I think we'd both rather stay here right now," Illyana teased her, reaching for the front of Kitty's beanie and dusting her fingers against it to knock off the snowflakes that had gathered on it.

"We did just walk all that way," Kitty agreed, then suddenly stuck her bottom lip out in a pout, "My lips are cold."

"Your subtlety is astounding," Magik laughed, placing her hands on the brunette's cheeks, drawing her into an affectionate kiss. After a moment, she pulled away, "Better?"

"Someone has to nudge you along," the other girl laughed, reaching for Illyana's sides to pull their bodies together. She tucked her face against blonde's neck, hoping to get some feeling back into her nose. "What would we have done if I had never come to your room that night to tell you that I wanted to kiss you?"

"You would have made everything awkward," Illyana pointed out, grinning as she pressed a kiss Kitty's temple.

Kitty scoffed at that, pulling away just enough to glare at her girlfriend, " _I_ would have made everything awkward?"

"Who's the one that held it together for all that time and didn't say a _word_?" The teleporter reminded her playfully, pushing Kitty's face back to her neck.

"And where did that get you?" Shadowcat pressed, her words slightly muffled in the other mutant's hair, "If I hadn't said something..."

"I'm not gonna tell you you're right, if that's what you're fishing for," Illyana teased, stroking her fingers through her brown locks. Her grin slowly faded into a smile instead, one that was full of admiration even if Kitty couldn't see it where she was. The blonde's free arm wrapped around Shadowcat's waist, pulling her closer still, "But I'm glad you did, Katya."

Illyana pressed her face against the side of Kitty's head, closing her eyes as her voice lowered, more serious now, "There hasn't been a whole lot of "good" in my life, but out of all of it, you and _us_ are the best things that have ever happened."

The other girl screwed her eyes closed, her hands tightening around the part of Illyana's jumper that was bunched up in her gloved hands. "You're going to make me a crybaby again," she warned.

Unlike before, when the churns in Illyana's stomach had been anxiety and nausea at the idea that what she said would change or ruin everything, when her constricted breath had been out of fear and her inability to form sentences had been because she couldn’t bring herself passed her own self-loathing—it wasn’t like that at all now. She was _happy_. There were butterflies fluttering joyfully in her gut at the feeling of Kitty’s hands at her hips, her breath wafting over her neck and her body so close. It was like this every time. It was how she _knew._ It was how she'd _always_ known, even when their touches had just been friendly cuddles and hand holding when they'd been roommates. It was why the breath catching in her throat and her sudden lacking of the ability to form coherent sentences _this time_ were because she was trying to find a way to get the words out without sounding like the world’s biggest dope.

Illyana’s lips moved but no sound came out, like she was practicing the words without actually _saying_ them. But finally, she pressed her lips together and brought her hands back to Kitty’s face.

“Katya,” She cupped her cheeks and gently pulled her away so they could look at each other eye to eye. Illyana smiled at her and for a long few moments she just looked at her in adoration, her thumbs stroking over her smooth, lightly freckled cheeks. She soon found her voice again, “I love you.”

Right then, Kitty didn't care that her face had just been removed from its warm little hiding spot. She didn't care that her feet were so painfully cold that all she wanted to do was stick them in a bucket of boiling water. She even stopped thinking about the fact that they were standing on the shore of the very lake where she had scattered Piotr's ashes and where she used to wish she had been able to scatter Illyana's, too. She wasn't sure how long she had been waiting to hear those words from the blonde's mouth, wasn't even sure if she had been consciously waiting at all, but now that they were out she knew that some small part of her had been.

That she had loved that bratty, spoiled six-year-old the day they had first met had never been a question. The love for the fifteen-year-old that had become her best friend had never been one, either. Where along the way that love had turned into something more, she didn't know, and right then she supposed the specifics didn't really matter at all. Because yes, she had been waiting for Illyana. She had been waiting to make sure that whatever happened between them happened on her terms because pushing her into something she wasn't ready for or something she wasn't comfortable with or just something she wasn't plain _sure_ about had never been on her agenda. Because Illyana wasn't good at expressing her feelings and trying to weasel them out of her would have been painful for the both of them.

There were so many times when Kitty had bitten her lip to keep those words from coming out, because she was scared that she wouldn't mean it how Illyana wanted her to mean it, because she was scared that one day she might want to take it back or make it stop to avoid some kind of imagined future pain, because Illyana might not mean it if she said it back.

But she meant it now and Kitty was sure. She smiled at her despite how much her face hurt from the hard bite of the cold, "I love you, too."

And there it was, her favorite thing in the world; that stupid, goofy little grin Illyana always did. In the second it took for her to grin back at her, Illyana wrapped her arms all the way around Shadowcat's body and pulled her upwards, holding the older mutant against her body. She brought their lips together again, deeply and affectionately, and suddenly it didn't matter as much that the snow had noticeably picked up, the bitter wind encouraging the flakes to swirl and dance around them.

It was a long time before they broke apart, and not only because embracing like they were was a very good way to keep warm. Even when they did withdraw, they kept their arms securely wrapped around each other, their heads resting against each other's shoulders, faces pressed against necks. Kitty could feel Illyana's chest rising and falling against her own, could feel the slight weight of her arms on her waist and her hot breath against her skin. But she could also feel the cold seeping through her clothes, penetrating deep into her bones and then, despite their proximity, she started shivering. And, finally, she lifted her head and realized just how heavily the snow was falling now. It had already filled in their footsteps on the just-visible trail they had taken out to the lake.

"Uhhh," she started, "Should we go back, or start building an igloo now?"

Illyana grinned, her teeth chattering together involuntarily as she tipped her head backwards to indicate the lake house behind her. She retracted one of her arms from Kitty's waist and dug into her jacket pocket instead, producing a keyring that she dangled on her finger, "I have a better idea."

Kitty's gaze, first locked on the building almost entirely obscured by the snowfall, drifted back to Illyana and the keys in her hand, "Where did you get those?"

"Papa told me to take them, just in case," Illyana said, tipping her head playfully, "But I was gonna take them anyway. Come on."

  _To be continued..._


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kitty and Illyana share some alone time in the Rasputin's lakehouse.

> **Author's Note:** This chapter contains an explicit sex scene.

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Illyana took Kitty by the hands and together they trudged back up the trail, heads bowed against the snow and their hands stuffed deep into their pockets. Fortunately, it didn't take them too long to reach the sheltered porch of the lakehouse. The two huddled up closely as Illyana fumbled with the keys a moment before finally slipping the right one into the lock and turning it. She stuffed the keys back into her pocket and pushed the door open, leading Kitty inside with her.

It was a great deal warmer inside, an almost instant relief from the biting cold of the wintry outdoors. In the room they stood in, a well-worn sofa with a blanket draped over the back faced an old coffee table and a bear skin rug. Across from it was small, disused fireplace that had only a few logs stacked beside it. There were two smaller rooms to their left, one that Kitty could guess was a bathroom judging by the closed door. The other was a kitchen, the open archway revealing the dark wooden cupboards and the stone tile counter tops. Around them, a few remnants of the house's previous life as a boat shed remained, such as large hooks on the walls and a giant window that faced out across the lake and let in what little light was making it through the snow.

Nodding approvingly at the sight, Kitty bent over to pull off her boots, then it was off with her damp and freezing gloves, her scarf and her snow-covered beanie. She hung them on the coat-rack by the door in the hopes that they would dry faster that way. Rubbing her hands together and blowing into them, she watched her girlfriend as she stripped off her fleece jacket to reveal a black Darth Vader t-shirt that very much belonged to Kitty. It was pulled over a dark gray turtle neck that matched the beanie that was barely hanging onto her head after being knocked around in the struggle of removing her jacket that she tossed on the floor. She snatched it off and hung it up by Kitty's before she was kicking off her wet boots.

She turned to look at Shadowcat, placing her hands on her own lower back and pushing against it, stretching it out. She smiled, "Better?"

Kitty had her eyebrows raised and her arms crossed over her chest. She was trying to glare, but the smile on her lips was making that very difficult, "Where did you get that from?"

"Your closet," Illyana grinned unashamedly, knowing exactly what Kitty was referring to.

Shadowcat's eyes narrowed as she unzipped her own jacket and pulled it off her shoulders. Her eyes never leaving her girlfriend, she shook the snow off of it and hung it up on a free hook. Magik sauntered over to her, looking down at her with a devilish smile.

"You can have it back," she started, raising her hand and giving Kitty a playfully antagonistic tap on the nose before she quickly side-stepped away from her and made to quickly cross the room as she added, "if you can take it from me."

"Is that really a game you want to play with me, Yana?" the other girl asked, watching her movements carefully but not yet moving from her own position by the door.

Illyana leaned against the couch, pressing her elbow against the back of it and letting her chin rest in her palm, fingers curled up towards her lips. She grinned, "Are you telling me you don't?"

"I do," Kitty grinned after her, slowly stalking towards the couch on her sock-covered feet, "I just want to make sure you know what you're getting yourself into."

Magik's blue eyes narrowed, teeth biting down on the inside of her lower lip as she watched Shadowcat move closer and closer. She slid one of her feet against the floor, leg stretching out behind her body as she bent the knee of the one in front, ready to run, "I think you underestimate me, Katya."

"I used to play tag with Kurt. I think you underestimate _me_ ," the brunette argued, lunging for the blonde at the same time the last word left her mouth. Illyana dashed off with a laugh, rounding the couch and stopping just short of the wall-wide window.

"What do you think me and the New Mutants did in the Danger Room when Magneto wasn't around?" she asked, blowing upwards to get her bangs out of her face.

Kitty didn't waste her breath on an answer. She sprinted after her girlfriend, socks sliding and thumping against the polished wooden floor. Of course, Illyana didn't wait for her to get any closer, and instead the girls found themselves running around and around the couch, even after it became obvious how futile that was. When they did stop, they were face to face, Shadowcat in front of it and Magik behind it, both panting. They stared at each other for just a second, before Kitty abruptly dove for her, her body passing straight through the couch as if it wasn't there at all. Illyana tried to jump back at the last moment, but Kitty's hand had already closed around the shoulder of her shirt. As the brunette's body passed harmlessly through her own, taking the Darth Vader shirt with her, Illyana's wet socks slipped against the wood floor, causing her to fall right on her ass, laughing all the while.

Kitty's own hysterical laughter soon joined the mix. Her trophy grasped firmly in one hand, she squatted to the floor in front of Illyana and pushed her over with her free hand against her shoulder, "What was that about underestimating you?"

Illyana snatched up the front of Kitty's shirt, pulling her down and bringing their mouths together roughly—and a little sloppily. When she pulled away, she was grinning, "Don't brag."

With her hands holding her up on either side of Illyana's head, Kitty grinned right back down at her, "Maybe you should go back to the Baby Brigade after all."

"Says the one who didn't even know her shirt had been stolen until she saw it on me," the blonde smirked.

"Hey, I have a lot of clothes," the other girl pointed out before carefully letting herself down for another deep kiss. Illyana mumbled incoherently against Kitty's lips, whatever she wanted to shoot back drowned out by the desire to pull the brunette in closer, head tilting to the side. Slowly, Shadowcat unbent her knees, lowing her body until she was all but laying on top of Magik, only her forearms on either side of her keeping her up. Her lips massaged the soft pair below her, her tongue stroking them almost teasingly. Illyana parted hers, her head dipping just slightly to catch Kitty’s bottom one between her own. Her grip on the front of the brunette’s shirt gradually loosened and she soon found her hand trailing up to Shadowcat’s shoulder instead. Kitty let out a tiny moan against her mouth, reluctantly pulling away a moment later and backing up onto her knees again.

"I think the couch would be more comfortable than the floor," she suggested, grinning sheepishly.

"There's..." Illyana's voice trailed off and she slowly climbed to her feet instead, Kitty following her up. She stepped on the toe of her left sock, letting her weight anchor it so she could slip her foot out of it. She did the same with the other and then she was taking Kitty's hands, leading her towards a door at the back of the main room, "Come with me."

Without taking her eyes off those gorgeous brown ones, she reached behind her and twisted the knob, letting it ease open and she let her back do the rest to push them into a narrow, carpeted stairway. The space was tiny, barely enough for them to stand side by side, but cozy. It felt like a secret, like with every step they were getting further and further away from reality and their worries down on the first floor. A giddy, girlish kind of excitement swelled in Illyana's chest, as if she was about to show Kitty something she had been saving just for her, something she had never even thought about sharing with anyone else.

They mounted the stairs at a clumsy jog, laughter echoing up through the rafters before they reached the top where a single door stood, closed. Illyana opened it to reveal the spacious bedroom beyond. The room spanned the entire second floor and, just as with the first level, a wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling window behind the bed gave a breathtaking view of the lake. Magik pushed the door shut behind them, letting her hand linger against the rough, dark wood, watching Kitty's face with a kind of prideful ownership as the other girl took in the space.

"Better?" She asked, the smirk on her lips almost making up for the nervous shimmer in her bright eyes.

Despite her heart's frantic beating in her chest, Kitty could not keep the excited grin off her face, "Much."

The two of them had made out on beds before—in fact, on one of their beds was where most of their make-out sessions occurred—but this was different. Kitty knew it, Illyana knew it, and they both knew the other one knew as well. The timing, the situation, could not have been more perfect, Kitty thought. They were away from everyone else, where there was absolutely no chance that anyone would walk in on them or a mission or some other problem would call their attention away. It was just them, in a house, all alone, and possibly getting snowed in even as they stood there staring at each other, their eyes communicating the last piece of the puzzle just as well as words could—it was what they both wanted.

Illyana dropped her hands to Kitty's waist, slowly guiding her over to the king-size bed that sat parallel to the large window wall and had been made up and untouched for quite a while. The back of her knees hit the edge of the bed before she knew she'd gotten that close, almost bringing her down on to the mattress. She swayed precariously over it for a second, her hold on her girlfriend the only thing that stopped her from toppling over onto it completely. She chuckled softly and Kitty laughed with her, pushing down on her shoulders until she sat. The brunette crawled onto the bed after her, getting Magik to lay back down while she hovered over her.

The blonde raised up on her elbows, hands reaching for Kitty's sides, pulling her down further until the brunette's ass was in the air and her hair dangled down around Illyana's face like a curtain cutting them off from the rest of the world. Shadowcat was quick to scoop it out of the way and drag it over the opposite shoulder as Magik leaned up to press her lips to her jaw, her lips searing flesh that was already burning to the touch. Illyana dipped her head further, smiling against Kitty's neck for a brief moment before she was leaving a trail of soft kisses down to the collar of her shirt, listening to the other girl's deep, slow breathing above her that was totally at odds with the frantic pulse she could feel under her lips.

Somehow Kitty found her voice, her ears turning a self-conscious, almost bashful red, "You can take it off."

At her words, Illyana could feel her heart start racing. She tried to remind herself over and over again that as many times as she had undressed her in her daydreams, she should have been able to do it now without giving it a second thought. But the reality she was quickly learning was very different now that the real Katherine Pryde was right there _on top of her_ , giving her permission to strip off her shirt, it just wasn’t quite that easy. Instead of the confidence she’d given herself in her mind, Magik’s fingers danced tentatively around the cloth of Kitty’s shirt as her forehead brushed against her neck, hiding a smile that was laced with determination and expertly concealed the self-conscious uncertainty that she wasn’t willing to show. When she finally spoke, it came out in a voice that was barely above a whisper, “Okay.”

Illyana’s hands fell to Kitty’s hips, pushing up the hem of her shirt into a bunch as she moved them upwards. She dropped her gaze as her thumbs trailed behind, brushing over the warm, lightly-tanned skin even as it dipped away from the frigid air. She’d seen Kitty in her underwear before a thousand times, but this time it was different. This time it wasn’t two friends laughing at each other while trying on clothes or trying to figure out who had the strangest freckle placement. This time it was intimate. This time it meant something. Magik dropped one hand to Shadowcat’s hip, her shirt falling slightly only to be pushed back up by the blonde’s other hand. She slowly slid it up her abdomen, taking in how it felt to touch her so intimately and stopping only when she felt the tips of her fingers touch the underwire of her bra. She looked up at Kitty then, lifting up and catching a bottom lip that was slightly parted from its partner between her own as the hand at her hip slipped up her side. Once it reached the shirt that was bundled up just under her bosom, she reluctantly broke the kiss and gently nudged Kitty's arm.

Kitty watched her, eyes wide but trusting, her breath catching at the feeling of Illyana's so-soft touch against her stomach, over her ribs then gently skimming over the bright pink cups of her bra as she compliantly lifted her arms to help the blonde with her shirt. Embarrassingly, it didn't make it over her head, stuck at an angle that covered both of Kitty's eyes and cradled one of her arms awkwardly in the air. As much as she wiggled and as much as the blonde tugged, it only made it worse.

"Yannnna," she whined from within her shirt, completely helpless. Then she laughed, imagining what she must look like from the outside, what her girlfriend's face would look like and how her mouth would be twisting in frustration and annoyance. Kitty let herself fall back on her ass and laughed harder, kicking her feet out and nearly hitting Illyana as she did, "Get me out."

The blonde laughed with her, grabbing onto the shirt and leaning back as far as she could as Kitty leaned forward, making a very exaggerated straining sound as she pulled, "I'm trying!"

Kitty phased, and as the laws of motion would have it, Illyana fell backwards into the pillows. At the adorable, completely stunned look on the blonde's face, she giggled uncontrollably, crawling back on top of her to kiss away her unamused expression before it could grow any bigger. She pulled away to grin down at her, "I love you?"

"I forgive you 'cause you're cute, Pryde," Illyana told her, arching an eyebrow at the guilty party as a devilish little smirk crossed her lips, "But you have to make it up to me."

"Mmm?" Kitty sounded, raising her eyebrows, feeling her chest clench and her insides tighten and her cheeks flush with blood, all because Illyana called her cute while she was leaning over her without a shirt on and because she was both terrified and extremely excited by the mere thought of the blonde asking for something from her, "What do you want?"

"Mmmmm," Illyana hummed, her eyes squinting at the brunette as she pondered the question. Her gaze dropped to Kitty's chest, biting down on her lower lip as she watched it rise and fall with every breath she took and how her hot pink bra stifled the quivering of her breasts with every move she made. The blonde slowly brought her eyes back up to Kitty's, her smirk now firmly back in place.

Kitty got the message. She could feel herself glowing under her girlfriend's scrutinizing gaze and was very consciously aware of the flushed feeling in her chest and how good it made her feel to have the blonde looking at her like that. Her grin mostly hidden by the hair that fell out from behind her ear when she bowed her head, she reached behind her with both hands to unclasp her bra, thankfully managing to get it off on the first try. She plucked it from her own chest and tossed it off to bed, shyly—perhaps for the first time in a while around Illyana—biting down on her lower lip as she met her gaze again.

Magik held it for only a moment before it shamelessly dropped again to take in one part of her best friend that she’d never seen before. There was no doubt that Illyana had always found her attractive. Kitty was, after all, a very beautiful woman. But right here, right now, she was absolutely stunning and the blonde was having an increasingly hard time pulling her eyes away from her body. Illyana’s hands reached for her again, fingertips lightly touching her skin and leaving a trail of fire in their wake as she dragged them up to her ribs. She held them there then, her thumbs brushing over the sides of her breasts experimentally, testing the waters with a silent question.

Kitty swallowed and tucked her hair back behind her ear again, sure Illyana would be able to feel her heart beating through her rib cage and the rapid rise and fall of her chest. Her nipples were painfully hard, the freezing air around them mingling with the rush of warm air she could feel from her own nose and from the blonde's, feeling both vulnerable and aroused as she sat there stewing in her girlfriend's gaze. The burning fingers on the sides on her breasts promised relief from all of those things. So Kitty nodded, at the same time reaching forward to even the score, her fingers grazing the bottom edge of Magik's turtleneck, lifting it slightly to make sure that would be an okay thing to do right then. She felt so nervous and inexperienced that she wanted to both cry and laugh, and she was sure she could feel herself shaking.

And she wasn’t the only one, either, but Illyana was doing a much better job of burying just how nerve-wracking—in a good way—this whole thing was. She’d gone through a lot in her nineteen years of life, but there was a very clear difference between slaying demons in Limbo and being this close to the girl she’d loved for as long as she could remember. It was a new and intimidating experience, but she was doing her damnedest not to let it show. She looked up into Kitty’s eyes, the trust that reflected in her own blue ones giving the older mutant the answer she sought.

Kitty pulled her shirt off so hastily that it took her a second to realize that it hadn't gone over the other girl's head, but _through_ her body instead, she was that eager to return the favor. The brunette let out an astonished laugh at the cartoon skulls that dotted the black material of Illyana's bra, then she was tipping both of them onto their sides and tangling their legs together. Their mouths met again for the first time in what felt like an age in hard pecks at first before they eased into softer, more affectionate, but nonetheless desperate, lingering kisses. Kitty's hands moved slowly up to her girlfriend's chest, cupping and squeezing gently when they came to her breasts, her approval murmured into the same mouth that devoured her breath straight from her lungs. Surprisingly, it wasn't that different from the male chests she had touched in the past, though having something that she could grasp in her hands was definitely enjoyable.

Illyana acted on her own curiosities, her thumbs softly tracing around the hard peaks of Shadowcat’s breasts. The breathy, encouraging moans that vibrated against her lips from Kitty's brought on a grin that she had no chance of hiding. There was a certain thrill in knowing the sounds coming out of her girlfriend's mouth were for _her_. _She_ was making her feel good, making her heart race and her skin flush. The brunette's chest arched into Magik's hands as her touch became less gentle and more confident, rolling her nipples beneath the pads of her thumbs. Kitty whimpered into her mouth, the exquisite heat pooling between her legs making her drop her hands to Illyana's sides, trying desperately to pull her closer, to get more contact as if that would somehow relieve the needy ache between her legs. When that still wasn't enough, she lifted her own leg over Magik's hip, her fingers pressing into the too-warm flesh of her biceps as her mouth turned its attention onto her chin. Her teeth grazed over her flesh, her tongue smoothing over the slight dimple she came across before working lower, forcing Illyana to tilt her head back with a soft groan, giving her more room to work. Her kisses tickled across the blonde's throat and down the sides of her neck, over her collarbone and across the front of her shoulder, her fingers inching the strap of her bra out of the way when she came to it.

With a quiet moan, Illyana pulled her own bottom lip into her mouth with her teeth. Reluctantly, her hands fell away from Kitty’s chest, despite that she could have continued to lay there touching and squeezing her breasts until she’d memorized each curve, each sensitive patch of skin. One hand trailed to her abdomen while the other slid down her side, over her hip and down to her thigh. Her nails lightly scratched over the rough material as her gaze fell to catch Kitty’s, whose pleading eyes had rolled up to look at her while she pressed another kiss to the front of Illyana’s shoulder. A small grin crossed Magik’s lips before she was reaching behind her own back, fingertips brushing over the clasp and fumbling with it in the least graceful manner possible.

Seeing what she was attempting, Kitty pushed herself up onto one arm to help, leaning over the other mutant's back so she'd at least able to somewhat see what they were doing. Unfortunately, with only one hand of her own and completely unable to get any kind of coordination of their movements going, the results were dismal. With her fingers still caught up in the strap at the back, the brunette phased it from her body instead. When she moved back down in front of Illyana, it was to grin triumphantly at the other mutant's adorable trying-not-to-be-self-conscious smirk. Blushing lightly herself, Kitty guided her to lay down on her back so she could resume kissing down her chest.

Illyana shivered, but it wasn't from the cold. Goosebumps raised up on her skin, knots of nervous anticipation forming in her gut. The warm touch of Kitty's soft, loving lips trailing down her body kindled the fire burning between her legs. The brunette's mouth moved between her breasts first, her body shimmying backwards on the bed so she could kiss all the way down to her belly button, then all the way back up again, worshipping every inch of skin on her way. She wanted to make Magik feel good, _needed_ to make her feel _loved_ and cherished and absolutely adored in the same way she made her feel every time she looked at her. When she finally came back to her breasts, her hand covered one while her mouth went for the erect peak of the other. The blonde's back arched involuntarily as Kitty's tongue flicked across her nipple and she let out a low moan at the sensation it sent coursing through her. Her hand found the back of Shadowcat's neck, nails lightly digging into the skin as she let out a shaky breath. Kitty could not keep herself from grinning at that, tilting her head back just enough to look up at Illyana.

"Did you like that?" she asked, lowering her mouth back down the drag her tongue against the other mutant's nipple, eliciting another moan. Magik nodded her head with a grin.

"Good," Kitty smiled back at her for just a second before her lips locked around the hard peak. She suckled on it gently, leaning her weight on one arm while her other hand ventured south and slipped into the elastic of Illyana's ski pants. The blonde’s hips rose off the mattress, silently encouraging her to go further as her nails dragged up to Kitty’s scalp instead. She couldn’t get enough of her girlfriend’s touch and she wanted _more_ , but there was no verbal indication of it beyond an accidental whimper.

Kitty maneuvered her own hips to give herself more space, tugging one side of Illyana's pants down before that same arm was moving between their waists to try and get to the other side as well. She managed to pull it down just slightly, but it quickly became clear that that wasn't going to work as effectively as she needed it to. She groaned internally at the thought of having to get up and move her mouth when she knew Magik was enjoying it, but she also needed her pants _off_.

With a departing kiss to her breast, she backed up and slid off the edge of the bed until she stood at the end of it. She pulled the blonde's pants down quickly, letting them fall to the floor at her feet. Then, she was shoving her own pants down too—the thermal underwear she had on going down with it— hopping from foot to foot to shake them off her feet and cursing as she stumbled and staggered against the bed where Illyana had propped herself up onto her forearms, quietly chuckling at her. When she finally got them off, she kicked them away and sat down heavily, bending over her legs to yank off her socks as well, hating every second that was keeping her away from her girlfriend's beautiful warm body. She stood, about to crawl back onto the blonde to kiss that stupid smirk off her stupidly pretty face, when she spontaneously decided to drop her underwear as well.

She slipped her fingers into the material by her hips and with Illyana's admiring gaze lingering on her, slid it down over her ass until they dropped to the floor by themselves. Biting her lip again and watching Magik's expression closely, she knelt down on the edge of the bed and reached for the hem of her panties as well. The blonde let her tongue brush over her own bottom lip before she pulled it into her mouth, suppressing her dumb adorable grin as she lifted her hips with wordless approval. Kitty flashed her a shaky smile in return, easing the black material down her thighs, over her knees, then off her legs completely.

She tried not to stare, she really did, but with her girlfriend's pale body bare and vulnerable before her, she couldn't help herself. Her gaze roved appreciatively over her, lingering on some places longer than others.

And for the first time, Illyana blushed. She _really_ blushed. Laying there on the bed, completely exposed and all of her usual walls and guards came down with it. Someone else had control and for once, Magik didn't care. Tentatively, Kitty smiled down at her, slowly easing herself back onto the bed and between Illyana's legs. Again, she held herself up with her arms on either side of the blonde's head and moved in to kiss her again.

"Wait," Illyana pushed her hand against Kitty's shoulder, gently easing her back until she was kneeling with her legs spread just slightly and Magik was following after her, sitting up. She gave Shadowcat a crooked little smile, "Can I just...?"

Her voice trailed off as her hands found the brunette's thighs. Eyes following them, she slid them up slowly and appreciatively, splaying out her fingers as she came to her defined abdomen. She pushed them around to her sides, trailed them up, brought them back around to Kitty's chest where she cupped and squeezed her breasts experimentally, worshipping her, Shadowcat silently watching her the entire time. Then, she circled them around to her back and pulled her towards her at the same time Illyana leaned in, pressing a kiss to the center of her midsection, just under her bosom. She held it there, letting her forehead rest against her, reveling in her warmth, in her presence. Against her skin, she muttered, "I love you, Katya."

Her chest swelling with emotion, Kitty threaded the fingers of one hand through her girlfriend's hair, holding her head gently against her, her own bowed down so that the ends of her brown locks danced above Illyana's head. The other hand slid over her back, her hands traveling over her shoulder blades, using them to try and pull Magik even closer against her. "I love you too, princess," she murmured back.

Illyana tilted her head up, locking her gaze with Kitty's and for a moment she held it, bright blues lost in those deep brown ones before she was slowly laying herself back down onto the mattress without breaking eye contact. Kitty followed her down, letting most of her weight on top of the other mutant, her face tucking into her neck to plant more tender kisses there. One hand drifted up Illyana's abdomen, skimming over delightfully firm abs, relishing in the feeling of being pressed together, skin brushing and rubbing against skin as their bodies pushed and moved against each other. Magik's aroused breath blew against Kitty's ear, tossing loose threads of hair around as her hands glided over her back, nails lightly scraping over her flesh.

Kitty shifted slightly above her until she could lean her forehead against her girlfriend's collarbone instead, her chest constricting nervously as the hand on her waist travelled back down again and between their bodies. Her fingers stroked through the blonde's curls probably a few more times than was absolutely necessary, but she had to build up the courage somehow. Her body inadvertently tense, she let the digits down lower, pressing a trembling kiss against Illyana's shoulder when they came across her slick, hot folds. Magik's body shuddered under her touch and she bit down on her lip, her hips rising up eagerly and encouragingly without her consciously willing them to. A sharp breath escaped her lips when Shadowcat's finger slid between them, the sound echoed by the brunette as she took in the wonderfully smooth, wet texture. She slid it along further, skirting over her entrance before it drifted back up to brush over her clit, pulling a startled moan from the younger mutant.

Illyana's hands went for Kitty's cheeks, guiding their lips together again. She let her teeth lightly rake over Shadowcat's bottom one before she closed her own over it, her thumbs stroking along the freckles dotted underneath her eyes. The strength with which the brunette kissed her back stole the air from her lungs. Illyana could feel the other girl's hips grinding against her own, her breath against her face, the slight furrow in her brow when she caught her swollen bundle of nerves between her fingers. The older mutant's eyes were open, watching her face contort in pleasure and feeling the throbbing between her own legs increase as a result.

Illyana's legs spread slightly wider and her nails dug into the skin behind Kitty's ears, the kiss growing hungrier with each second that ticked by. She whimpered into her mouth, the circling of her hips and the desperation with which she sucked and tugged at the brunette's bottom lip silently begging her for more. Shadowcat grinned then, infinitely glad that she was eliciting that kind of reaction from the blonde. She kissed her harder still, tongue pushing between her lips to slide against Illyana's while her hand all but abandoned her clit. Her thumb remained, rubbing at the hard nub while her middle fingers stretched back down to tease her entrance.

Magik's breath hitched at her touch, teeth biting down on Kitty's tongue in the heat of the moment. Every touch of her fingers, every breath against her face and every sound she uttered was intensifying her own excitement, her desire to feel her girlfriend in a way she'd never felt anyone before. This was the most vulnerable she'd ever been, especially in front of someone who she had always tried so hard to impress, always tried to show that she was worth their friendship. But more importantly, this was the closest she'd ever been to anyone _ever_ and by the abyss she couldn't have ever imagined this moment being with anyone else.

Illyana's heart pounded and her breaths were shaky with anticipation. She broke their mouths apart but remained close enough that her lips brushed against Kitty's as her desperate eyes locked with the brunette's lustful ones and she managed a gasping, "Katya."

The other girl was quick to snatch her lower lip back up, grating her teeth over the tender flesh while two fingers pushed slowly, carefully into her. Illyana's hand quickly found Kitty's shoulder, breath caught it her throat as she squeezed roughly. A low moan vibrated into their kiss even as it took a moment for her to adjust to the feeling of Kitty's fingers starting to slide in and out of her. It wasn't a bad feeling in the slightest; it was new and, for a moment, slightly uncomfortable, but the way her hips pushed towards her, encouraging her with a pleasured hum, attested to the fact that this was almost everything she had imagined it to be. Shadowcat's mouth on hers, kissing her long and deep, their bodies grinding against one another with only the sound of their breath to accompany them. Maybe she hadn't originally intended for it to happen in her parents' lakehouse, but where they were was irrelevant now. Here, they were in their own world with no one and no _thing_ —Damn Lockheed—else to pull them out of it, where no one else mattered but her and Kitty. For Illyana, it couldn't have been any more perfect.

Kitty's thumb continued circling over her clit, gradually increasing the pressure she was applying to it while her fingers pumped into her, her own body rocking with the movements of her wrist. Even after making sure she was okay to continue, that Illyana wasn't in any pain, the brunette was having to consciously monitor her actions, making sure to keep them slow despite her own burning desire. It was Illyana's first time, _their_ first time, and she wanted more than anything to make her feel _good._ She wanted to feel her fingers digging into her back or pulling on her hair while her body writhed beneath her, but she didn't want to _hurt_ her either.

Illyana's feet dragged up the mattress, forcing her knees to bend and lean outwards on either side of the brunette.

"Katya,"she breathed again, head tilted back just slightly as one arm snaked around Kitty's shoulders while the other wrapped around her back, pulling her closer. Each push of her fingers sent a warm rush through her body, fueling her own desire that saw her hips eagerly rising to meet her hand. Her quiet, desperate moans were echoed almost perfectly by her girlfriend as her fingers drove into her again and again, getting slightly harder and slightly faster each time. Shadowcat's mouth fell away from hers, drifting back to her neck where her forehead leaned against her shoulder and her soft pants caressed her skin.

Illyana turned her head towards her, quietly whimpering in her ear as her fingers pressed into her back so hard there would likely be bruises. Her mouth dropped open to speak but whatever she was trying to say was lost before she could utter a word, drowned out by the loud moan that escaped her lips when Kitty's thumb pressed more roughly at her clit. That, coupled with how tightly Magik was clutching at her shoulder blades only served as to motivate the brunette further. Her teeth grazed over the skin of the other girl's neck, hungry kisses sucking and lapping at her throat. The heel of her hand replaced her thumb while her fingers curled inside her.

The blonde's back arched with a gasp of intense pleasure, her chest pressing against Kitty's as her nails dug into her skin. Her hips bucked up against the brunette's, wordlessly but not at all subtly begging for more. She couldn't get enough of her or the feeling of being so close to her—she wanted to be absolutely intertwined with her, to bring them together as intimately as she could. The hand at Shadowcat's back trembled anxiously as she lightly trailed it down to her hip, then further to her thigh where she let it linger in question.

Somewhat erratically, Kitty nodded, too far gone to even control that simple action. She buried her face against her collarbone, the pleasured sounds in her ear driving her to thrust her fingers even faster into Illyana, letting her palm rub against her. Magik pressed her nails deeper into Kitty's shoulder as her teeth bit down on her earlobe, barely able to muffle her grunts and moans. She wiggled her hand between their bodies, her fingers trailed exploratively down her stomach, lingering a little too long so she could appreciate the grooves of her abs. A little grin crawled across her lips as she released the brunette's ear and her hand traveled lower, fingertips lightly touching her rough, brown curls. Kitty let out a small, barely audible murmur of approval against her, her hips pushing forward to try and guide her hand lower still.

Illyana didn't hesitate to fulfil her silent request and she could feel the aroused heat radiating from her before her fingers had even slipped between her wet folds. She felt around curiously, the furrow in her brow a sure indication that she was very much learning her way blindly and it was hard enough to concentrate as it was, what with the fingers that were still pumping in and out of her. It also didn't help that her lover was vigorously rocking against her, so the first time the tips of her fingers brushed over Kitty's entrance, she wasn't able to push them inside before her movement threw her off. The second time, she went for it anyway and missed, her fingers poking somewhere that was definitely _not_ inside of her. She felt her the brunette's body jerk slightly, her body stiffening at the same time that a sharp, startled gasp left her lips. Her rocking stopped, and after a second Illyana felt her relax against her again, her quiet laughs muted against her skin.

Kitty lifted her head to give her a playful, admonishing glare that was completely undone by the lust she could see under her half-hooded eyes.

"I'm sorry!" Illyana cried, shoulders shaking with her laughter as she buried her face against Kitty's neck with a mildly embarrassed groan.

"Shhhh," Shadowcat cooed at her, her free hand coming up to cradle the back of her head against her. She lifted her hips again while her own fingers gradually returned to the pace she had set before, this time without her body moving so much, "It's okay. Try again."

"Okay," Illyana quietly acknowledged, her words followed up with a soft moan as her concentration was taken again by the sensations between her legs. She swallowed hard, her fingers tracing over Kitty's entrance until she was sure she wouldn't miss again and this time, she pushed them in. Magik took a moment to take it in; the slick, soft ridges of her walls, the warmth, and the way it felt when Kitty rocked her body forward while her fingers buried inside.

With a gentleness that was at odds with the quickly erratic movements of her hips, the brunette pried Illyana's face away from her neck so that she could kiss her again. It was sloppy, rough, with hot breaths and pleading little moans punctuating the air and breaking their lips apart every few seconds. The earnest thrusting of her hips into the blonde's hand matched the rhythm her own fingers were setting, her skin so hot that the very slight breeze that stirred the cold air around their bodies was a welcome relief.

Illyana clawed across Kitty's shoulders, rocking impetuously back against her girlfriend, a pressure unlike she'd ever felt before slowly building in her gut. Her chest heaved, each outward breath ending in a moan that was instantaneously muffled by their fervent kisses that had become just as much of a means of constant contact as they were shows of affection. The blonde pressed their mouths together, hard, and when she pulled away, she groaned breathlessly, "Katya."

"Yana," Kitty gasped in reply, her nails digging to the skin just by her neck at the same time her hips pressed down. Because she had found nothing else that the sorceress seemed to like as much, she curled her fingers yet again on their entry, letting the tips of her fingers drag against her walls on the way out. She broke their mouths apart just enough to mutter, "Ty takaya... krasivaya*."

"No ne tak krasiv, kak vy**," Illyana whispered back, stomach swelling with rampant butterflies as she rested her forehead against Kitty's. She tried a smile but it was quickly twisted when she bit down on her own bottom lip and she tipped her head back with a gasping moan as Shadowcat's fingers pressed against a particularly sensitive part of her. Kitty's head fell back against her shoulder, her chest heaving against Magik's, her heart pounding. The sounds her girlfriend was making, the feeling of her slick warmth against her fingers and of the fingers moving inside of _her_ , it all fanned the fire that was roaring in her gut. She gave a desperate moan of her own against her neck, her control disintegrating with the rapid, feverish movements of her hips. Something—Illyana's wrist, she thought—brushed against her clit and she stifled an even stronger moan against her throat.

Oblivious to the world around them and the quiet, squeaking protests of the bed springs beneath Kitty's knees, they rocked together. Breathless praises and encouragements, Russian unknowingly intermixed with English and spattered with sounds that were of another language entirely were uttered between desperate, passionate kisses to each other's mouths and necks.

The pressure in Illyana’s gut grew more and more intense and she could feel her impending bliss burning between her legs. With each passing second her breathing got more ragged, each breath becoming little more than a gasping moan. The thrusting of her hips and fingers got more erratic as she began to completely lose herself. Her free hand entangled itself in Kitty’s hair, tugging on it as she felt the last string of control snap.

“Katya,” Illyana cried out, the upward inflection of her voice that gave way to a pleasured gasp told them both that the feeling had been startling, she hadn’t expected it to hit her so fast or so strongly, “Oh—“

“ _Katya_!” She threw her head back with another breath, hips bucking wildly, toes curling and her body writhing beneath Kitty as the wave of total unadulterated ecstasy crashed into her, flooding her with a rush of heat and a tingling sensation so intense it overwhelmed her entirely.

Kitty tried to ride it out with her, to continue pumping her fingers into her, but feeling Illyana's gorgeous body spasming beneath her own, hearing her name at her lips and knowing that it deserved to be there, that she had _done that_ , pushed her over her own rapidly approached edge. She sunk her teeth into a patch of flesh at the front of Illyana's shoulder before she could stop herself, her back arching away from her, her hips pushing down so she could feel as much of the blonde inside her as possible. She squeezed her eyes closed despite the fact that her pleasure had already blinded her, moan after moan leaving her lips as her rigid body shuddered and trembled.

Her breathing calmed slowly, the tension gradually leaving her body and comprehension coming back to her euphoria-clouded mind. Carefully, she pulled her fingers out of Illyana as the blonde did the same and released the poor, bruised skin from between her teeth. Her nerve endings were still buzzing when she finally collapsed on top of her, wiping her hand on the sheets but unable to do the same for the smile on her face. She gave Illyana's shoulder a soft, apologetic kiss followed by a light lick, and nuzzled her face into her neck.

Magik wrapped her arms around Kitty's back, pulling her in close and pressing her sweat-dampened face against her hair. She kissed the side of her head, closing her eyes tightly as her heart rate finally managed to bring itself down to something more reasonable. When she opened them again several comfortably silent moments later, tears were welling in them. And when she spoke, her voice was noticeably wavering, "I love you, Katya."

Kitty was up on her elbows immediately. She took the blonde's face into her hands, brushing her thumbs just under her stunning blue eyes to catch the moisture that had gathered there, and giving her a tired, loving kiss.

"Shhhh," she hummed at her, pressing a tiny kiss to the tip of her nose next, then pushing herself up higher to get her forehead as well. She caressed her cheek, "Shhh, Yana. It's okay. I love you, too. I love you so much. Please don't cry. I'm the crybaby, remember?"

Illyana smiled, closing her eyes again and shaking her head before letting them flutter back open. She gave a quiet, breathy little chuckle, "I'm fine, Katya, I'm promise."

The blonde raised her own hands and placed them over Kitty's, bringing one of them around to her mouth to kiss her palm, "It's just...I never thought that we'd actually ever be...."

Illyana's voice trailed off and she leaned her head into one of Kitty's hands, looking into those beautiful brown eyes she loved so much as if that alone was enough to tell her lover what she wanted to say. Kitty stared right back at her, the tips of her fingers brushing through the blonde's damp, tussled hair and over the shell of her ear. She kissed her again and leaned their foreheads together.

"I know. Me either. But I think... I think it means something. That I was the one to find you, I mean. Everything is so fragile. There's so much conflict, so much pain. Every single day there's some other crisis to deal with. And you keep waiting for everything to settle down so you can actually _live_ for a little but, but then you realize you already were. All the conflict—all the _dust_ is your life going on. And if happy comes along—that weird, unbearable delight that's actually happy—well I think we have to grab it while we can. Because it's here and then... then something stupid happens and people disappear, and... _get lost in literal Limbo_ ," she paused to glare at the blonde who grinned and crossed her eyes in response, "and then it's just gone again. Before you even had a chance to really treasure it."

Kitty stayed where she was just a second longer, _treasuring it_ , taking in the fact that Illyana was right here with her and that neither of them were going to _go_ anywhere, that they were both equally in love and that nothing else could possibly get in the way—not like it had before. Illyana pressed her lips together, the corners of her mouth lifting into a smile. The two kissed again, letting it linger for a long moment and then, with a contented sigh, Kitty rolled off of the blonde and onto the mattress beside her. On her back, she stretched out her arms on either side of her head, then pointed her toes to stretch her legs out as well. Only then did she roll back to Magik to cuddle up to her side. "I'm sorry I bit you."

Illyana traced small abstract shapes on Kitty's bicep with her fingertip, a little smirk on her lips, "I kinda liked it, if I'm honest."

"Reallllly?" Kitty perked up, cheekily leaning over to scrape her teeth across the blonde's shoulder and sending a shiver up her spine.

"Don't tease," Magik playfully chastised her, biting down on her own bottom lip.

The other girl only grinned up at her and tucked her hair behind her ear as she moved to do it again, giving her a few, playful nips across her collarbone this time instead. A grin of her own firmly in place, Illyana grabbed her by the wrists, pushing against her until Kitty, laughing in protest, was on her back. The younger mutant mounted her hips, knees pressed into the mattress. She smirked down at her, and Kitty was unable to ignore the re-ignited arousal that tingled between her legs.

Shadowcat pounded the heels of her feet against the mattress and pouted through the smile on her face, "Can we at least get under the covers this time?"

* You are so beautiful - Translated from Russian.

** But not as beautiful as you - Translate from Russian


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Illyana's parents discover that they have not been honest with them about their relationship.

> **Author's Note:** This chapter contains an explicit sex scene.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Yana," Kitty moaned breathlessly, her heavy pants mingling with bed springs that squeaked in protest to hips that rocked vigorously up against Illyana's face. Her hand was on the back of her head, fingers entangled in her blonde locks where she pushed and pulled encouragingly. Magik's hands were gripping her thighs, nails digging into the lightly-tanned skin hard enough to leave very distinct marks. Kitty tipped her head back with another groan and, knowing that Illyana's eyes were rolled up to look at her, she cupped her free hand over one of her own breasts. She squeezed it roughly, enticing a moan not only from herself but also from the younger mutant, one that vibrated pleasantly against her. 

Illyana dragged her fingers down one of Shadowcat's thighs, a quickly fading pink streak following her nails as they traveled towards her heat where the blonde's tongue was already hard at work. She slid it out of her then, pressing down hard as it found its way to her clit at the same time the tips of her middle fingers found her entrance. Her lips closed over the sensitive bundle of nerves, tongue flicking over it in quick, desperate strokes as her fingers pushed inside, immediately beginning their hard, fast thrusts.

" _Oh_ Yana," the brunette gasped again, her eyes squeezing shut tightly and her neck straining as her head tried to tip back even further. Her chest heaving with the trying-to-be-quiet moans she directed up at the ceiling, she found the hard peak of her breast and pinched and rolled it between her thumb and index finger. Her hips ground towards the blonde's face while the hand in her hair tried to pull her face even closer, "Don't stop. I'm... _oh God Yana!"_

Illyana grinned, lips parting as her tongue circled her clit, applying more pressure for a few seconds at a time in a pattern that was far from predictable. Her fingers pumped in faster, curling inside of her as she gave Shadowcat an encouraging moan. Kitty's hips bucked in response, a desperate sound almost like a whine leaving her lips. She squeezed her own breast harder, dug her nails into the blonde's scalp as her back arched off the bed and her breathing became even more labored. She was _so_ tantalizingly _close_ she could practically taste it already, her thighs trembling on either side of Illyana's shoulders, the fire in her gut so all-consuming that sweat glistened on her forehead and her skin flushed deep pink. She felt it growing hotter still, building and building inside her until—

She phased through the bed and away from her lover's touch with a cry that was initially born of pleasure, but almost immediately turned into a cacophonous shriek. She was through the mattress and the floor beneath it before she was even completely aware of what had happened, and by that time it was far too late to stop herself, anyway, even if she had been able to muster the composure and arrange her _thoughts_ enough to be able to do so.

She hit the floor in the Rasputin's first floor living room with a _thump_.

Kitty didn't think she had ever gotten to her feet so fast in her entire life, including on missions with the X-Men and when facing down hordes of crazy ninjas. There was nothing to grab to cover herself, and even then she wasn't sure she would have wasted the time trying to conceal her naked body in whatever she could get her hands on. Instead, she bolted for the stairs—only to collide with Mrs. Rasputin as the older woman rounded the corner, coming to investigate the noise she had heard.

"Oh my God!" Kitty shouted, blushing furiously in her attempt to cover everything she could with her hands. Still, she wasn't waiting around to see what Alexandra would say, and quickly stepped around her to dash up the stairs. When she rounded the corner, the door to Illyana's room was already being flung open.

"By the abyss! Katya—" Magik grabbed Kitty by the arm as soon as she was within reach, yanking her back into the bedroom and slamming the door closed. The expression on her face was torn between disbelieving amusement and terror at the realization of what this probably meant, but even still, she cupped the brunette's cheeks in her hands, "Are you okay?"

"I just ran into your mom!" Kitty exclaimed, her eyes wide in horror, gripping Illyana's biceps tightly in her hands, "That was really _wow_ , I mean, I-phased-through-the- _bed wow_ but, _your mom!_ "

"I did that?" Illyana grinned pridefully to herself. But as the realization set in, it quickly turned into a worried frown and she brought a hand up to her head, pushing her fingers through her bangs and tugging on them, "Okay, shit."

"Clothes?" Shadowcat suggested, her voice shrill as she broke away from her girlfriend to start looking for their things. If Illyana's mother was about to come up there to talk to them, she wanted to be _dressed_ this time. Magik nodded as she scrambled around the bed and the two of them quickly gathered their things from the floor, tossing to each other what was theirs while trying to dress themselves at the same time.

"This is not how I wanted them to find out," Illyana hissed as she pulled a black long-sleeved shirt with a devil smiley face on it over her head, the hem falling over the waistline of her red, boy-cut underwear.

"Because falling through the floor naked in the middle of... _you know_ is _exactly_ how I planned it would go," Kitty whispered back at her, jerking her pants up her legs and hopping from foot to foot as she did so. She pulled the sides together in front of her, and pushed the button through its hole, "How do you want to play this?"

"I can take us both to Limbo right now and we won't have to deal with this," Illyana told her half-jokingly, stepping into her pants and pulling them partially up her legs before she was jumping up and down to get them on the rest of the way and in the process, making all the little doodads on her night stand and dresser shake and jingle together.

"You could take us back in time and we can forget the whole thing ever happened," Kitty added, hastily pulling her fingers through her hair. She lifted her shirt up to her forehead, using it to dab at her clammy skin.

"That's a better idea," the blonde brushed the back of her hand over her mouth where she could still taste her lover on her lips, "I'm in so much trouble."

"You can blame it on me. I'm a bad influence and I can't control myself around Rasputins. _Half_ of that is _true_ anyway," Shadowcat offered, a small, playful grin on her lips.

"That you're a bad influence?" Illyana teased, leaning in to sneak a quick kiss from Kitty's lips.

Kitty pulled away to scoff at her, " _That_ was _your_ idea, Illyana Rasputin."

"This has been spiraling out of control ever since you said you wanted to kiss me," the blonde reminded her, sitting down on the edge of her bed. She patted the mattress beside her as she reasoned, "It may have been my _idea_ but it was _your_ fault."

The face the other girl pulled in response to that was one of quickly growing offense, until it was just as abruptly thwarted by her smirk. She sat down next to her girlfriend, "Is that what you're going to tell your mom? That the reason I fell into the living room _naked_ was because I said I wanted to kiss you?"

"No, the credit for that is mine," Illyana told her, her proud grin returning to her face at the thought. She laid her head against Kitty's shoulder, adding playfully, "It's not too late to go to Limbo."

The brunette wrapped her arm around the other mutant's shoulders and turned her face into her hair, dropping a kiss to the top of her head, "You said you wanted to tell them before we left."

"I think we've already _told_ them," Illyana's voice was jestful while she slipped her arms around the brunette's waist and snuggled against her, "I guess we just go with the truth from here on."

"They would probably appreciate that," Kitty nodded, her hand rubbing reassuringly up and down the blonde's bicep, "Oooooor. We tell them I can't control my powers and fell through the floor while I was getting dressed."

"I think you being an X-Man discredits that lie faster than the smell of my room does," Magik laughed, kissing the side of her girlfriend's neck.

"Damn," Kitty laughed back at her, giving Illyana's body an affectionate squeeze before they fell into an impatient silence, waiting for that fateful knock at the door. When it didn't come, they quickly grew restless, stewing in their own discomfort. It was a long couple of moments of the blonde simply staring at the door before she finally spoke up again.

"Should we go down there?" She asked, lifting her head up to look at Kitty.

Kitty grimaced, "It doesn't look like she's going to come up _here_."

Illyana took Shadowcat by the hand and gave it an anxious squeeze. She took a deep breath through her nose and let it out just the same, trying a smile, "You can stay here if you want. I can handle it."

"Hey, no," the brunette started, cupping her hand around her girlfriend's jaw, "I got us into this mess. Well, _you_ did, but we're not getting into _that_ again. If you want me to talk to her with you, I will. You don't have to do it alone."

Despite the fact that Illyana had meant the words she'd spoken, she couldn't deny the relief that settled in when Kitty told her she didn't have to talk to her parents alone. That wasn't to say she couldn't have if she had really needed to, but Shadowcat's comforting presence would be a much more welcome alternative. Magik smiled and brought their mouths into a deep, appreciative kiss that saw her closing her eyes for a brief moment before she pulled back, "Thank you, Katya."

Kitty flashed her a smile of her own, then pushed herself onto her feet, hauling Illyana up with her, "Come on. Let's go before we change our minds."

Maybe a little too slowly, the pair made their walk of shame from the bedroom to the living room downstairs where Mr. Rasputin was no where in sight and Mrs. Rasputin sat in an old, wooden rocking chair Illyana easily identified as one she’d been told her great grandfather had crafted himself. She had a plastic laundry basket in her lap, folding the clothes that were heaped inside. She didn’t look up at them, not even when they rounded the couch and sat down at the edge of the cushions, fingers intertwined. She sat in silence, focusing on her task to forget about their presence—and what she had seen.

Illyana would have been lying if she'd said she hadn't expected something like this. From what she remembered of her childhood with her parents and from the short visits she'd had with them before she'd "died", her mother and father were old-fashioned people. It was only natural to assume that their views on any relationship that didn't fit into that narrow category would be the same. Of course, she didn't know for _sure_ but the forced, calm facade her mother was wearing told Illyana enough that she was disappointed, if not angry, about what the incident she'd experienced meant. And from the way she was determinedly folding the clothes in the basket and still refusing to look at them, it was obvious that they were going to have to be the first to say something.

"We were going to tell you," Illyana started, her free arm folding over her abdomen as she leaned forward slightly. They watched her mother's jaw tighten but she remained silent. It wasn't until the blonde opened her mouth to press on that Mrs. Rasputin finally looked to them. Her eyes settled first on their entwined fingers, then on her daughter's face.

"Were you?"

"Why wouldn't we?" Magik asked, tipping her head to the side like she didn't understand why her mother would suggest that she wouldn't.

"It took _this_ ," Alexandra's eyes cut deploringly to Kitty, who grimaced and shifted uncomfortably on the couch, "For you to even come to me."

Illyana squeezed Kitty's hand, a silent assurance that she'd handle it, while her gaze stayed trained on her mother, "It's not something you bring up in a casual conversation, mama. I hadn't figured out how to tell you yet."

"We didn't want you to find out this way," the brunette chipped in, her voice sincere despite the growing anger in Mrs. Rasputin's eyes.

"You performed those atrocities right above our heads. In the _room_ we gave to you. On sheets that _I_ clean and that papa worked hard for and you disrespect us by _lying_." She had pushed the washing away from her by now, instead setting it on the floor so she could appraise the two of them without obstruction. The rigid tension in her body was obvious then, too. 

"We did _not_ lie," Illyana argued, though the tone in her voice came out a little more aggressive than she'd intended. She dialed it back a bit as she continued, "We never denied anything because no one ever asked. No one asked, so we didn't plan to tell until we were ready."

"This is not how we raised you," Alexandra ground out, "Does that school of yours not teach respect for your elders? For your _parents_? So many years we haven't seen you, and the first thing you do is come into our house and accept our generosities and _lie_ about what you really are. This is not how I raised you, Illyana. This is not what your brother would have done. This is—"

She broke off suddenly, nostrils flaring and hands clenching into fists around the material of her pants. There was so much rage boiling away in her mind that she simply could not find the words she needed to express all of it. 

Kitty took the opportunity to speak up, though she was well aware she would probably only make things worse, "I'm in love with your daughter, Mrs. Rasputin. We didn't mean any offense or disrespect. We just weren't sure how you would take it. It doesn't change who Illyana is. She's still your daughter. We _were_ going to tell you and Mr. Rasputin, we just..."

She faltered then, the look on Alexandra's face scaring whatever she had been wanting to say from her mouth. She glanced anxiously at Magik, whose expression likewise didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out. Her mother's words had stung and she wasn't doing a very good job at hiding it.

Illyana idly wondered if a change in circumstance would have really mattered. Would her mother have reacted differently had they told her instead of her finding out like this? By her pointed words and the way she spoke, the blonde wasn't so sure. She made that known, too, with a note of hurt in her voice that she was unsuccessful at concealing, "This is why I could find no way to tell you. You reacting this way is what I was afraid of and I didn't want my Katya to have to hear it." 

On the way from Amsterdam to Ust-Kut, when they had both been more than a little intoxicated, they had quietly spoken about how they would tell Illyana's parents about their relationship. It was the first time either of them had really had cause to _worry_ about how they might be perceived — back at the mansion, with their friends and family, they had barely even had to think about it. It had been so natural, so innocent and easy that being faced with the harsh reality of just how unconventional their relationship truly was—to some, anyway—hit harder than the overwhelming cold had when they had first stepped off the plane.

Kitty squeezed the blonde's hand tighter in her own, a determined defiance in her eyes that refused to be put down for something _else_ that was supposedly wrong with them. Mutants, demons, Jewish, X-Men. Lesbian and bisexual were just something else to add to that long list.

"It was wrong of us not to tell you, Mrs. Rasputin. We know that. We should have told you as soon as we arrived, so there wouldn't be any misunderstandings. And we probably shouldn't have been doing what we were in your house, _especially_ before we had told you. I can admit that," Shadowcat acquiesced, pausing briefly to look at Illyana before she ploughed on.

"But I can't sit here and listen to you yelling at your daughter for not telling you when you and I both know that isn't really what it's about. Your daughter is happy, Mrs. Rasputin. She is the happiest I have _ever_ seen her, and I'm not just saying that because it makes me feel good about myself. _Look_ at her. Really _look at her_. Look at her and tell me that I'm wrong. Tell me that you'd rather her be lonely and miserable than happy and with another woman. If you were any kind _parent_ you wouldn't care about _what_ or _who_ or the _sex_ of the person making her happy. You'd just be relieved that she has finally found someone who understands and who _loves her_ as much, if not _more,_ than you do."

Illyana hadn't been expecting that, nor had she realized how badly she had needed to hear those words from her girlfriend's mouth. This _was_ the happiest she had ever been. The most at _ease_ that she'd ever been. Kitty had always brought out the best in her, there was no denying that, but this was so much different and so much _more_ than that. For once in her life, Illyana felt like everything was going to be okay and she had _Kitty_ to thank for that. 

Despite the situation, despite the look on her mother's face, Magik couldn't help the grateful smile that played across her lips when she squeezed the brunette's hand affectionately. When the two looked at one another, the appreciation reflected in her blue eyes negated the need for words between them. 

For a while, the three of them sat like that, none of them speaking, none of them moving any more than was necessary. The two on the couch were waiting expectantly for Illyana's mother to collect herself enough to say something to them. Kitty wasn't prepared to wait forever though, keenly aware that every second that ticked passed only hurt her girlfriend more. Every second it took Alexandra to come to grips with the nature of their relationship was just another nail in the coffin. Still, she knew they had to be patient. They had to be the better people. They had to give Mrs. Rasputin time to digest what she had been told, despite how ludicrous it seemed to Kitty that that was even necessary. 

The longer they sat in silence, the angrier the brunette got, the closer she got to standing and walking out of the front door. She forced herself to stay calm, telling herself over and over that it wasn't her battle and that if Illyana wanted to leave, that it should be up to her. Luckily, it didn't take the blonde long to come to that same conclusion herself.

Tired of the silence, tired of the looks her mother kept giving them, of the disappointment and condemnation she could still see in her mother's eyes, Magik abruptly stood up from the couch. Jaw clenched tight and her brow furrowed, she didn't say a word as she marched across the living room and to the front door. She ripped her beanie and her gloves from the coat hook so fast that it wobbled briefly before toppling to the ground with a startling _thud_ at the same time she yanked the front door open. A blast of cold air bit her unprotected face, but in that moment it hardly bothered her that she hadn't gone up to grab her jacket first, she just wanted _out_.

Kitty was just one step behind her, only stopping to grab them their shoes from the rack on the floor. After letting the front door slam behind her, she strode after the blonde, her teeth already chattering. That didn't stop her from her grabbing her girlfriend's arm before she could step off the porch and into the snow in only her socks. As Illyana turned around, she pushed her boots into her hand.

"Thanks," Illyana forced a smile, setting them down at her feet before stepping into them and doing them up, while Kitty did the same. She pulled her gloves onto her hands as she rose back to her feet, "I had to get out of there."

"I was close to leaving myself," the brunette admitted with a small smile, holding her arms out to the other mutant in a silent question: hug? For once, Kitty wasn't just going to walk straight into her arms, she wasn't going to assume that that was what Illyana needed right then, so she wouldn't force it on her, but it was there if she needed it.

And Illyana appreciated the gesture. She wasn't a touchy person usually, but just as with a lot of things, it was different with Kitty. So with that, the blonde stepped into _her_ arms and pulled her into a tight embrace. Kitty wrapped her arms around her neck and leaned her head against her shoulder, shivering uncontrollably. Illyana raised her hand that still held her beanie and instead of pulling it onto her own head, she tugged it over Kitty's and pressed an affectionate kiss to her forehead. 

Shadowcat lifted her head to flash her a grateful smile, her fingers absentmindedly stroking against the back of Illyana's neck, "What do you want to do now?"

"Bury myself under ten feet of snow, for starters," Illyana said half-jokingly, pulling her girlfriend closer for warmth.

"Not without me," Kitty grinned, dropping her head back down to bury it against her own arm instead, "I'm so sorry, Yana."

"No, Katya. _I'm_ sorry," the blonde shook her head, rubbing her hands up and down the brunette's back before letting them come to rest at the back of her shoulders.

"That your mom saw me in my birthday suit?" she teased, momentarily attempting to lighten the mood. She gave up just as quickly, "You don't have to protect me, Yana. We're in this together. We're a team. We're going to freeze to death out here, but we'll do it together."

Illyana laughed then, her breath becoming a visible warm cloud in the frigid air. When it calmed into a small grin, she squeezed Kitty even closer, "I know, Katya. That's one of the many things I love you for. I only wish you hadn't had to deal with that in the way you did..."

Her voice trailed off for a moment, her eyes drifting off thoughtfully as she tried to gather the words in her head. Then, she was biting on the inside of her cheek almost shyly, "But it was nice to hear those things from you."

"It was nice to be able to say them," Kitty told her, her smile even audible in her voice, "Really though. What do you want to do now?"

"I just need to be out of there," Illyana replied honestly, "And with you. Take a walk with me?"

"Can I get us our jackets first?"

Magik nodded, but as Kitty turned to go do just that, Illyana stopped her, "Wait."

Illyana turned her back around, cupping her face in her hands. She gave her a smile and brought their lips together in a silent, but perhaps more meaningful, 'thank you'. When she pulled away, she said, "Okay, go."


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mansion is under attack, and Kitty and Illyana's vacation is cut short when they must return to the school to deal with the mysterious threat.

The next few days passed in an extremely awkward blur. After gathering some of their things from their room, Kitty and Illyana had set out to walk around the entire lake. The sun had been setting by the time they had reached the point in the trail where they had started, and though they had briefly considered staying at the lakehouse for the night, their growling stomachs and sense of resigned obligation had driven them back to the main house.

Unsurprisingly, Mr. Rasputin had been home for a few hours already and had obviously been forewarned about their confession to Mrs. Rasputin. Not that he had said as much to them—they had not heard a single word from him directed at either of them since that same morning.

At first, Kitty had been furious with how passive aggressive and downright _childish_ his behaviour was. Pretending that they weren't even there, not even looking at them as he served out the meal and not putting any effort at all into trying to make conversation with them, even when the girls had tried to ask him about his day. It was something the brunette expected from the students back at the mansion, not from a grown man and certainly not over something that was barely any of his business anyway. Still, she had bit her tongue until dinner had passed and she and Illyana had returned to their room. Even then, she had waited to see what her girlfriend would say about it first.

The blonde had been just as angry, storming from one side of the room to the other as she ranted about how damn stupid this all was, swinging her Soulsword as she went. They had seethed and raged together until that rage eventually turned into a quiet remorse that had seen Illyana hunched on the edge of the bed with her forearms on her legs and Kitty's body draped comfortingly across her back.

They had gone to bed earlier and stayed under the covers together for as long as they could the next day. Alexandra never came to announce that breakfast was ready and it wasn't until they had remembered that they were X-Men and that X-Men did not hide from their problems that they decided to show their faces. But the stony silence that Mrs. Rasputin had met them with hadn't exactly inspired them to stay in the house for long, and very soon they found themselves taking yet another walk around the lake.

They had returned just in time for dinner, and despite their best efforts, still failed to get Nikolai to speak to them and so they returned to their rooms shortly after.

The next two days had progressed in exactly the same fashion, with exactly the same routine. Each time they had forced themselves out of bed and each time they had returned from their walk, it had been with new strategies to start a dialogue, and each time their strategies failed. Though they had been determined not to give up, to not leave without resolving the issues between them first, it was not looking good for their stay. Every day that piled on only made them more restless, only added to their anger, and ended in such a profound sense of resignation that keeping each other's hopes up became futile when they could not even be optimistic for themselves.

Kitty was disappointed, Illyana was disappointed, and both of them were beginning to regret the trip altogether. Despite how Mr. and Mrs. Rasputin had reacted to things in the past, like Illyana's premature aging and her demon-born powers, neither of them had anticipated _this_.

The next evening, when Hisako called them from the mansion to say that everyone had lost their minds, they had almost been relieved. Leaving by themselves would have been akin to admitting defeat even in the face of such a seemingly hopeless situation. Being called away due to an X-Men-related emergency was a little more tolerable to their equally stubborn minds.

"We'll be there within the hour, Hisako. Try and keep everyone away from Hank, get Scott and everyone else in the Danger Room if you have to, and take Logan with you. It doesn't sound like he's any threat to anyone like that. And don't worry about looking for Emma. She can take care of herself. We'll be back soon, okay?" Kitty was talking into her phone, the device jammed uncomfortably between her ear and her shoulder as she hastily gathered up her things and gestured for Illyana to do the same.

"What's going on?" Illyana asked as soon as Kitty had hung up, already shoving her clothes into the suitcase she'd brought them in. She didn't do much in way of folding, she honestly couldn't be bothered, but she was determined to make it all fit in as it had when she'd packed it up the first time.

"Something weird, what else?" Shadowcat tried to joke, though her voice came out much more anxious than she had intended, "Scott is completely unresponsive. Emma found him in their room with his eyes open, no glasses and _drooling_. Hank has apparently lost his mind and thinks he's an _actual_ wildbeast, and Logan... Hisako seems to think _he_ thinks he's back in the eighteen hundreds. And she can't find Emma anywhere. You're going to need to give us a stepping disc back."

Even as she explained this newest predicament, Kitty was messily sorting out her clothes and throwing them into her bag. "Don't forget Nesti*," she reminded her girlfriend, gesturing back to the bed with one arm.

"Sounds fun," Illyana herself wasn't even sure if she was joking or not. It certainly beat the hell out of what they were going through here, at least. The blonde threw herself onto the bed in order to snatch the teddy bear by the leg and pull it to her, not wanting to walk all the way around the bed just to grab it. She carefully packed it into the suitcase before she was piling in more clothes and other items, "Do I need to do something about our uniforms, too?"

Illyana gestured down her body to emphasise her point.

"Uhhh, maybe wait until we get back. Unless you think it would help to show your parents that we're not just running away?" Kitty ventured, jamming the lid of her suitcase closed. She twisted around and sat down on top of it so she could zip it up.

"I'm not sure I care what they think anymore," the blonde's voice was tainted with the anger and the hurt and the upset from earlier, but it no longer showed on her face. Her expression was surprisingly calm, only faltering to frustration when she couldn't get the zipper of her suitcase to budge because part of the hem of one of her shirts was still sticking out. She tucked it back in and quickly zipped the whole thing closed.

Kitty nodded in understanding, pushing herself back to her feet and pulling her suitcase up with her until it stood on its wheels. "I think that's everything. We just need to say goodbye."

Illyana bit the corner of her lower lip and hoisted her suitcase off of the bed. She motioned to the door with a tip of her head and as the brunette started towards it with her own bag trailing behind her, she followed. The two made their way down the hall and to the staircase, descending it quickly despite their heavy bags, to meet Mrs. Rasputin in the living room. As per usual, the older woman made no special efforts to glance towards them, and Illyana wasn't in the mood to wait for her anymore.

"We have to leave," she said, her voice as monotone as the blankness of her expression.

"They need us back at the school," Kitty added, pushing her bag towards the front door. Alexandra stood from her rocking chair in acknowledgement, but she didn't move any closer to them. She silently gazed at them instead, her expression caught somewhere between guilt and disappointment. Guilt, because she had no desire for her daughter to leave while their relationship was still on so shaky a ground; disappointment because it seemed that now they wouldn't get a chance to change her mind about her relationship with Kitty.

"I will let your papa know," was the only thing she said to them. The hurt that Illyana felt at her mother's indifference was hidden away, undetectable on her young features, and that was where she intended it to stay. She had felt so much anger and resentment at the words her mother had spoken to her the day she found out about them and the way she and her father had acted all the while since then that there was no effort in masking it anymore.

"Thank you," was all Illyana had in response.

Kitty had unhooked their coats from the hangers by the door,and after putting her own on she held Illyana's out to her too. The blonde slipped her arms in, and Shadowcat helped her lift it over her shoulders before linking her fingers firmly with Magik's.

Without another word, a circle of bluish-white light grew from beneath their feet, illuminating the entire room with its glow. The two, with their luggage, sunk down into it, making extremely quick work of their trip back to the States—more specifically, the Institute.

The mansion was unnervingly quiet, despite how early in the day it was, and also quite a bit warmer than Illyana and Kitty had become accustomed to over the past week. As a result, they were shedding their heavy jackets immediately and throwing them over their bags. The brunette didn't waste any time in issuing orders.

"See if you can find Emma, I'll check on the kids, cool?"

Illyana gave her a quick, obedient nod, "I'll come to you if I find her."

The two parted without another word, Kitty running off towards the living rooms and areas that the children frequented while Illyana took off to the direction of the sublevels. The blonde figured that if she were to find Emma, the best place to start looking would be where ever Scott was. Given the state Kitty explained he was in, her first thought was the infirmary.

With a wave of her arm, she opened a stepping portal in front of her and ran through it. Coming out the other side, she was in the infirmary where, sure enough, Scott laid on his back with his eyes wide open, unresponsive and staring at the ceiling. She frowned, moving closer to him for a better look while her gaze roved over the expanse of the infirmary. There was no sign of Emma.

And yet, she called out to her anyway, "Ms. Frost?"

"Miss Rasputin," a gruff, unfamiliar voice answered her and between his words and the time it took Illyana to spin around to face the man, the door the infirmary clicked shut behind him, "It appears you've found herself stuck in yet another laboratory. How does that feel?"

Illyana's eyes narrowed dangerously, watching as the man took a step away from the door in his outfit that looked like something that should have been thrown in a dumpster after the 1700s. She'd seen him before, there was no doubt about that. Sebastian Shaw. He was a member of the Hellfire Club with... _Emma_. At her sneaking suspicion, Magik bared her teeth, the hilt of her Soulsword materializing in her hand and she seemingly pulled the rest of it from her own chest.

"Good, good. It's not healthy for you to bottle up your feelings. Perhaps it's best if you let them out," he spoke again, the smirk on his face so cocky that Illyana could have shoved her blade straight through it. She restrained herself.

"What have you done?" She growled. Shaw raised his eyebrows, lifting his arms and shoulders in a light shrug.

"Hmm, maybe I was wrong," he said, though his voice was testing, _taunting,_ "Maybe you already took out all those pent-up feelings on little miss Pryde."

Illyana struck him then, the flat side of her blade hitting him in the head hard enough to make him stumble and fall against the table that Scott had been laid out on. He raised his hand to his cheek where the blade had nicked him, smearing the blood with his fingers. His nasty smirk returned.

"There we go," he spoke to her like a parent would an angry child, "I knew you had it in you. Then again, doesn't everyone?"

Her grip on her Soulsword tightened. He kept talking, "That's why they're all keeping a close eye on you. That's why they've _always_ kept a close eye on you. They know you're a caged monster who can easily break that flimsy little lock that holds it all in."

Illyana struck him again, this time with more aggression that betrayed her boiling rage. Even as her Eldritch armor began to manifest down her left arm, she punched him square in the jaw before grabbing him by his ponytail. She slammed his head down on the table and then swung him around, throwing him into the nearest wall. A bloody grin was in place on his face as he locked his knees to keep himself from sliding to the ground.

"All except for _her_. You do a very good job of hiding it from her. I guess you had to so she would let you touch her like that, yes?" He continued to taunt, spitting blood out onto the floor, "Katherine's a bright girl. It's only a matter of time before she discovers the truth, and then your little fantasy will be over."

Illyana snarled, craning her neck slightly and then straightening it back up as the sharp points of her horns broke out from the skin of her forehead. She closed her eyes, each word out of his mouth brought her closer and closer to snapping, to dropping the wall that held the Darkchylde back. When she opened them again, they were glowing a demonic yellowish-orange and, without giving him a chance to say anything else, Magik decked him in the mouth with her hand that by now was fully covered in her glimmering silver armor.

When he spat this time, a tooth came out with it, hitting the floor with a tiny clink like a small marble falling onto the metal ground. Illyana's hand shot out, grabbing him by the throat and forcefully holding him against the wall, her thumb pressed hard against his windpipe. She raised the tip of her Soulsword's blade to his throat, slicing through his skin as she narrowed her eyes.

"That's it... _Darkchylde_ , isn't it?" he asked, the struggle to mask his pain was very obvious as he continued to taunt her, "keep proving my point, demon."

"Do _not_ call me that," she growled, the beginnings of what would become fangs visible when she bared her teeth to him. With each surge of fury, the darkness crept closer, making the line between herself and the demon within murky. The only thing holding her back from unleashing _hell_ on Shaw was the intense guilt knotting and twisting in her gut and the feeling in the back of her mind that told her everything he was saying was _right_.

Still, she pressed the blade harder against his neck until she could see the blood slowly seeping from the wound, "I tire of you. Tell me what you're doing here or I _will_ kill you."

"Don't you remember?" He laughed like he'd understood a joke that she'd missed entirely. Her thumb pushed in on his windpipe, pulling a choked sound from his throat before he spoke over it to continue, "I absorb kinetic energy. I think you know what that means."

But she had no chance to react, no chance to fully process his words before he was slamming his hand into the side of her neck. Illyana's Soulsword hit the ground with a _clang_ , her brow dipping as her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she collapsed at his feet.

* * *

Kitty hadn't found anyone inside the mansion. At least, not where they usually would have been at this time of day. Fortunately, a glance out the window had told her that no one was outside either, which was just as well, considering the giant blue predator that was stalking the grounds. She could only assume that Hisako had taken her advice and gotten everyone down to the Danger Room, and fast. Considering their previous encounter with that room, Kitty could imagine that they wouldn't be so keen go back there, even when the danger was _literally_ gone. Just having all the students suddenly vanish from what should have been a crowded room was enough to bring those memories back to the forefront of Shadowcat's mind, too.

Not for the first time in her life, she wished that she was a telepath, just so she could know what was going on without having to find out the hard way. Heck, just having another telepath on the team that was _not_ Emma would have given her some relief. But that was a separate issue entirely, and one she did not have time to dwell on now.

Kitty went to the dorms next, banging on doors and yelling for anyone who remained to come out and that she wouldn't hurt them. No one came, but at one of the common areas at the end of the hallway that serviced all the bedrooms on that level, she saw a head poking up over the top of am armchair.

The room was dark, the curtains drawn shut against the sun, and the chair was turned away from her, so all Kitty could see was the larger-that-life shadow that was cast on the wall in front of it, her own looming even bigger beside it.

"Hey, are you okay?" she asked, stepping into the room and flicking on the light. The child had tangles of what looked like black dreadlocks crammed under an equally dark beanie. Kitty couldn't say she had ever seen them before. "Have you seen anyone else?"

"I saw a kitty cat, an itty bitty kitty cat falling through the floor," the girl murmured, the rhythm of words reminiscent of some kind of incantation.

Frowning to herself, Shadowcat peered around the armchair, catching a glimpse of a blue-tinged face and tendrils and tendrils of some kind of black matter drifted out from her body like thick, wayward spiderwebs caught on an unseen breeze, "I'm sorry? I don't know your name. Have we met before?"

"I dreamed that you phased away. That you phased away and couldn't stop."

As if on cue, Kitty started sinking through the floor. Panic set in the second she discovered she wasn't in control of her abilities, that she couldn't will her body back _up._ She opened her mouth to say something, _anything_ to this deranged mutant who seemed to be in some way connected to what was happening, to threaten her against not hurting the children, but no sound came out.

She fell fast. The Danger Room and its occupants flashed quickly before her eyes, and were gone again in seconds, replaced by a darkness so complete that it was as if she had never seen light in her entire life. Kitty closed her eyes and forced herself to _breathe_. Well, to calm down, at least. She couldn't breathe in this state, and for that she was glad. A lungful of dirt and who-knows-what-else would _not_ have helped matters right then. She needed to concentrate.

She had to get back up to the mansion, to the kids, to Illyana, to her teammates. Whatever was happening up there needed _her_ to fix it before it got any worse. She didn't have _time_ to be trapped in the centre of the Earth and on her way to China—well, technically she should emerge in the southern Indian Ocean, nearer to the west coast of Australia, but that was only if she maintained her current trajectory and the Earth didn't leave her behind in its orbit around the sun.

Doing the maths of that calmed her down significantly. Her body was slowing, though she willed herself to remain intangible, and eventually changed direction as she propelled herself up and up through the miles and miles of dirt and towards the surface.

When she finally re-emerged, it was in the infirmary. She grabbed the wall, hanging her head away from the overhead lights, blinking rapidly as her eyes adjusted to the brightness of the room and her mouth sucked down lungfuls of air. It felt so good to be _solid_ again. To be _in control_. But, as always, the life of an X-Man did not allow for much contemplation of anything life-affirming without interruption.

"Miss Pryde!" a voice called out from behind her, causing Kitty to whip around to find its source.

Hisako was in the doorway to the infirmary, supporting Blindfold's body against her own and looking as scared as she felt. Kitty had barely opened her mouth to reassure the two of them when Armor raised a hand to point at something behind her. "What is _that_?"

Slowly, warily, thinking that if she didn't turn around she might be able to ignore whatever new issue had suddenly appeared, Kitty followed her gaze. Despite the horns sprouting from her skull and the goat-like legs, she recognized Illyana's peaceful, sleeping face beneath her curtain of silky blonde hair.

"Yana!"she cried, at her girlfriend's side so fast she could not recall having crossed the hard metal floor. All around her, the infirmary was a mess, but she had eyes only for Magik. She pulled her head into her lap, shaky fingers feeling for a pulse in her neck while her heart hammered away. She couldn't be dead. She couldn't be dead. She couldn't be dead. Not again.

What would she do if she was dead? Who would hold her in the middle of the night when the stresses of the day meant she was having trouble getting to sleep? Who would make her feel like a child in the madness of her lives? Who would make it feel okay? What would she _do?_ She had gotten so used to Illyana's presence in her life that her absence was inconceivable. Horrible. To empty to imagine.

She couldn't be too late to save her. She couldn't be. She had come as fast as she could, she...

Kitty found her pulse and almost wept with relief. It was slow but steady, easy, as if she had just decided to take a nap in the middle of the floor. After breathing a sigh of immense relief, Kitty eased her head back to the floor and got to her feet. From across the room, kneeling at Scott's side, Hisako nodded to her that Cyclops was okay as well, contrary to what his glasses-less and still-drooling state would have her believe.

"See if you can take both of them down to the Danger Room," Kitty told her, her voice coming out a lot more confident than she had anticipated that it would, "I'm going to find Emma."

And with that, Shadowcat strode out of the infirmary and back into the hall of the sublevels. Before she had taken even a few steps, a powerful psychic attacked was unleashed on her mind.

"Ahhh!" she screamed, grabbing the sides of her head while the pain forced her to her knees. Whatever feeble guards she had once been instructed to put up to block such assaults were disintegrated before she could even finish conjuring the thought.

It felt like an eternity had passed with her forehead on the cold hard floor before the attack relented. She lifted her head slowly, brain throbbing, to see the red-robed figure standing at the end of the corridor. There was no doubt in her mind that they were her assailant—whoever _they_ were. It didn't seem like the same person she had run into before, making at least two of them complicit in the attack on the school. She couldn't get a word in before the hooded figure started talking.

"It's time, Pryde. Time that you make yourself useful for once. It's time to bow before the White Queen," the far-too-familiar voice declared, throwing aside the robe with her last words.

Kitty felt her mind go blank. Before her stood the spitting image of Emma Frost—exactly as she had seen her when Illyana and the New Mutants had had to come rescue her at the Massachusetts Academy, corset, underwear, fur and all.

_What._

* Bear - Translated from Russian


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In their efforts to free Cassandra Nova's consciousness from its prison, Emma Frost and Sebastian Shaw work together to keep the X-Men busy. Kitty is trapped inside a nightmare reality that sees her freeing Cassandra Nova.

"Nadya, mama lyubit tebya* Nadya," Kitty cooed at the child sitting in front of her, leaning forward to wiggle her fingers against her stomach, which the infant promptly ignored in favour of tearing out handfuls of grass from the previously immaculate blanket of green below the tree she and Illyana had chosen for their picnic. She tried again, "Nadya, can you say ya lyublyu mamu**, Nadya?"

Again, she got no response from their daughter other than a happy laugh as she threw the shredded bits of grass at the purple dragon that laid by her side, supposedly sleeping. Kitty pursed her lips and leaned back against her lover's chest in defeat.

"She's never going to start talking," the brunette whined, only to have Illyana laugh at her.

The blonde wrapped her arms around Shadowcat's body, hugging her tightly against her and pressing a kiss to the spot just under her ear, "She's not even a year old yet, Katya."

"But she _will be_ in a few weeks," Kitty argued stubbornly, watching as Lockheed raised his head to snort a rush of hot air at Nadya, who only squealed again. She felt Illyana's face press into the groove at the back of her neck.

"And in a few years she'll be headed to school, then college... Do you think you should be schooling her in algebra now?"

"Well," Kitty started, a mock serious expression on her face, "Scott would be teaching her algebra. And it wouldn't _hurt_."

Behind her, the blonde's body shook with her silent laughter and the other woman rolled her eyes, "Okay, okay. I get it. I'll lay off."

"No, lapushka***, I didn't say that. I just want you to relax. Nadya will talk when she's ready," Illyana assured her, planting another kiss on the base of her skull where her neck met her hairline.

Again, Kitty leaned forward towards their daughter, this time dragging her back across the grass until she could lift her into her arms. Nadya let her mother lay them chest-to-chest, her tiny fists against the collar of her shirt while the brunette leaned back against Illyana and the blonde's arms went around the both of them. Abandoned at their feet, Lockheed huffed and laid his head against his paws. It was perfection, the feeling of her lover's chest rising and falling behind her, of their daughter's tiny heart that she could feel beating against her breast, her calm breathing against her collarbone and Illyana's against the back of her neck.

Kitty had never felt so at peace. Nothing in the world could ruin their perfect little bubble of happiness, and nothing could possibly improve on it, either. Sunlight speckled down at them through the leaves overhead, a soft breeze off Breakstone lake caressing her skin and making the trees russel all around them. Birds chirped, insects buzzed, and Xavier strolled out from the shadows. His expression and the way his hands were clasped behind his back let them know immediately that this wasn't a friendly visit. The bubble popped.

"Professor, what's--" Kitty started to stay, already leaning forward and tightening her hold on Nadya in preparation to stand up.

The other X-Men, all in uniform and with equally as serious looks on their faces, moved into view behind him, "Put the child down, Kitty."

She felt her heart speed up and Kitty scrambled to her feet, with Nadya still in her arms and Illyana getting up after her, "What's going on? Is it a mission? I can go—"

"That won't be necessary, Kitten. Just hand over the child," Emma cut in.

Shadowcat's narrowed, calculating eyes flicked between the five of them, her grip on her daughter becoming more and more protective the more she saw. This wasn't happening. They weren't asking her for Nadya. They weren't. They were her friends. This wasn't happening. That, or she was just interpreting the situation all wrong. She had gotten so caught up in how happy she was that her mind had figured it was time something went wrong.

Scott was the next to speak, coming towards her with his arms held out from his body as if he meant them no harm. She wasn't buying it, despite his words, "I'm sorry, Kitty. If there was any other way to do this we wouldn't be—"

"No," she spoke over him, "Stop talking. Just _shut up_ and _stop_ _moving_. You have ten seconds to explain to me what's going on here or I'll..."

"Katya," Illyana touched her arm, and though Kitty's first instinct was to lean into her, the consoling, apologetic note in her lover's voice made her turn towards her instead. She felt her heart drop into her stomach with a hard, heavy stone of dread.

The blonde's Soulsword was in her hand. And it wasn't raised to defend her family. Kitty tried to phase, her chest tight in fear and disbelief. Somewhere behind her, the professor was explaining that he had blocked her access to her powers, but her eyes were on Illyana instead, and the dragon that was traitorously perched on her shoulder.

"Yana, please," the words left her mouth in a whispered plea in the second before she found Magik's Soulsword plunged through her stomach.

* * *

"You are a _monster_ , Illyana Rasputin."

Kitty stood behind the blonde, her own sword, her katana, phased through the middle of her chest. It was symbolic, she thought, of the same callous betrayal that Illyana had shown her. Only, she wouldn't be merely knocking her out if she didn't cooperate. And she doubted the demon before her had felt such preemptive remorse before she had similarly struck her down.

She had never felt so alone or so angry in her entire life. Lockheed, her team, Logan, the professor, her _lover_. All of them had betrayed her. They had taken her daughter, the one pure and perfect thing she had left in her life without even a few words of explanation. On anything else, she may have trusted that they knew what they were doing, but she was a mother now and apparently what they said about a parent's protectiveness over their child was not merely folklore. She would do anything to get Nadya back. She had never felt so determined and so sure of anything in her entire life.

She would get her daughter back and the X-Men would pay. And if they had done _anything_ to hurt her... Her gut clenched at the thought, her knuckles white around the hilt of her sword.

"I don't want to hear any excuses. Don't you dare try and tell me that you did it to protect us, that it was for the greater good, that Nadya was really _dangerous_. We're X-Men. We would have found a way. We don't _give up_ that easily, especially when it comes to our family. But you wouldn't know anything about family, would you? Your true family waits for you in _hell_. So," she twisted the blade in Illyana's chest, "Tell me where my daughter is."

"Katya—"

" _No_. Don't ' _Katya'_ me. You've lost all rights to using my name. Just tell me where Nadya is or I unphase and whatever twisted, black heart you have left will fuse to my sword."

"You would kill me, Katya?" Illyana asked, her voice so quiet, so understanding but simultaneously disbelieving that Kitty almost lost her resolve.

 _Almost_. But then she remembered the distant sound of Nadya's screams as she lay there on the ground at the X-Men's feet, blackness creeping across her vision no matter how hard she tried to push it away. She remembered Illyana's boot on her head, forcing her to stay down despite how much her daughter's shrieks compelled her to get to her feet.

She felt a hot tear squeeze from her eye. "Does it count as _killing_ if you're not really a person? A person wouldn't do what you did. You're a monster. A demon. Always have been. I was just too fucking stupid to realize it before. Too _nice_ and _understanding_ and _trusting_ ," she snarled the words, "I let you in. I told you _everything_. I _gave you everything_. But I should have known. I should have known. How long did you pretend to like me? How long were you pretending that my jokes were funny? That you _loved me_ enough to sit through the extended editions of Star Wars in the _right_ order? How long were you hating me behind my back and touching me without feeling anything at all? The whole time? Just after Nadya was born? Did you corrupt the others, too?"

"Tell me where she is or I will not hesitate to send you back where you belong. Permanently."

"She's in a box," Illyana hung her head, eyes closing, "In the basement. I won't stop you."

"Damn right you won't," Kitty ground out. Abruptly, she released the hilt of her katana and let the blade solidify in Magik's body.

Kitty turned away from her and started for the door before she could even see the blonde slump forward in her seat. She stomped down the corridor, hands clenched into tight fists that had her nails digging into her palms. She had to get to Nadya. She had to save her from whatever nightmare hellhole they had trapped her in. Those sick bastards. Those supposed _heroes._ She would kill them all as soon as her baby was safe. And if they had harmed her at all, if she found even a tiny pinprick of a bruise on her, if her face was stained with snot and the tracks of tears... Oh, they would pay.

She had no one left in the world that she could trust except for that precious bundle of joy she had made herself—she refused to remember that Illyana had helped. Everyone she had ever loved had died on her, had let her for someone or some _thing_ else, had betrayed her. And for _what?_

She reached the basement, her journey down there lost in a sea of fury and determination that crashed upon the jagged shore of her mind, spitting foam and salt water onto everything in sight, without even the eerie light of a rundown lighthouse to guide her to safety, to sanity. There was only rage and the sick feeling of betrayal that spurred it on.

The box was in the centre of the otherwise empty room—or perhaps the room wasn't actually empty, perhaps the only thing her mind registered was that, her objective, the prison that held her baby, her love, her one perfect thing. She could swear she could hear Nadya' voice echoing through that box, telling her in Russian that she loved her, that she had known she would come.

Kitty knelt by the box, phased her arm through it and screamed out in pain, the sound mostly drowned out by the alarms that were suddenly blaring. Lasers shot through her body but did not harm her. No, the pain was coming from the box itself, from its very walls, from the material it was made out of. She could feel its molecular structure changing, spinning, rearranging, trying to stop her from reaching her baby.

No one could stop her. Nothing would stand in her way. There was no amount of pain in the universe that they could inflict on her that would get her to stop.

Her head was phased halfway through the box before she felt those soft, tiny fingers curling around her thumb. Her heart leapt for joy and she phased her other arm inside, another anguished wail leaving her throat.

That was how Illyana found her when she skidded to a stop inside the open doorway to the room, her heavy boots scuffing against the floor. Her demonic, goat-like legs had since shifted back into her normal _human_ ones, but several features of the Darkchylde remained: her horns, her gray skin, and her fangs. Her glowing yellowish-orange eyes faded back to their usual blue the moment she caught sight of Kitty.

She didn't hesitate to dash to her lover's side, dropping to her knees while avoiding the lasers firing off all around them. She reached for Kitty, but her hands went right through her phased body.

"Katya?" Illyana called out to her, her voice a mix of concern and confusion. What the hell was this thing and what was she trying to do with it? She tried again, "Katya!"

In Kitty's mind, her girlfriend simply did not exist. There was only the box and her baby. She threw her head back with another scream, this one borne of relief, when her arms finally wrapped around Nadya — or what she thought was Nadya. She pulled her out far more quickly than her arms had entered the machine and cradled the green, oozing blob that was her daughter against her chest.

"Nadya, mama lyubit tebya* Nadya," she murmured down at it, dropping her face to kiss the top of the infant's head.

For once, Illyana found herself glad that she'd seen so many disgusting things in her life that stuff like this, stuff that would make her teammates toss their cookies, no longer bothered her.

"Katya, what are you _doing_?" She asked when she fully registered just what Kitty had said to the slug-like mass in her arms.

Kitty became aware of her presence then, and while some part of her mind noted that Illyana had finally taken on her true form after her death, she remained calm, subdued even, as she beheld her, "I did exactly what you wouldn't. I saved our daughter."

"Katya..." Illyana took a worried step towards Kitty, her mind trying to find something, _anything_ , to make what she was seeing make sense. She reached out towards her, mindful of the oozing _thing_ in Shadowcat's arms, "We don't _have_ a daughter."

 _"_ You're right," the brunette realized, still hugging the blob to her chest, "We _don't_ have a daughter. _I_ have a daughter. You lost all claim to her when you took her from me."

As if she had been specifically waiting to get those words out, Kitty's eyes almost immediately rolled into the back of her head as soon as she had finished talking. Her daughter slipped from her arms, and she followed it to the floor.

"Kat—" Illyana was cut short by the shadow that loomed in from behind her. Before she could turn around, the side of her neck that was still a little sore from the _last_ blow she'd taken there was hit _again_ , and she crumbled to the ground at Kitty's feet.

* * *

When Illyana came to, it was to the sound of gunshots and the snarls of what she could only hope were coming from Wolverine. By the Dark Lords she did not want to deal with anything else right then. There was a pounding in her head and she could feel a sore bump where she'd hit the metal floor. It took a second for her to completely realize the fact that she should probably open her eyes.

They fluttered open slowly, only to wince against the light and sound. She was barely able to make out Scott, conscious and kicking, holding a gun and firing off into a direction she didn't much care to look in right then.

"Scott?" She spoke, her voice coming out raspy and strangled. She pulled a face and cleared her throat as he turned to face her, firing off another round without even looking.

"Illyana, hi," he said, a smile playing across his lips and she took note that his visor was _still_ gone. She didn't question it, "You would not believe the day I'm having."

"Try me," She muttered as she pushed herself up from the ground and to her knees instead, her eyes widening when she remembered— "Katya!"

"She's fine, I'm trying to wake her up," Scott assured her. Illyana's brow furrowed as she reached for Kitty's shoulder, shaking it gently while her eyes stayed on him.

"And you're doing that by _shooting people_?" She asked incredulously.

"Illyana, I'm an X-Man. I don't shoot people," he said as he fired _another_ round, this time into the head of a woman with pale blue skin and dressed in enough black to make _Illyana_ wince, "I'm just making a point."

Sure enough, the woman dispersed into nothingness as soon as bullet hit her body. As soon as she was out of the way, Illyana caught sight of Logan on the other side of the room, crouched over a body she guessed belonged to the same man that had incited her in the infirmary. Shaw. She dragged her gaze back to Kitty, and shook her again, silently begging her to wake up.

And after only a little more encouragement, she did. She jerked awake, instantly alert. Her eyes went first to the disgusting, dripping blob that she remembered to be her daughter, but which no longer resembled her at all. Her eyes darted to Scott with his gun, then to Illyana, the demon. She flinched away from her, throwing off the hand on her arm and scooting back across the floor. "Don't touch me."

Illyana sat back on her haunches as her skin began to regain its normal hue, her hands on the floor by her legs and looking as concerned—as hurt—as she felt. Her brow dipped, "Katya, what's _wrong_? I don't understand what you think that I did?"

"You—" Kitty started, a frown creasing her brow as her gaze drifted back to the _thing_ that had been her 'baby'. Obviously, it wasn't Nadya any longer. "I... That thing... The box, I..."

She dropped her face into her hand, fingers rubbing her temples on either side of her forehead, while her mind grappled for coherence and her gut twisted with guilt. _What had she done_? She felt rather than saw Scott's hand touch her shoulder and, even knowing that it could have been Illyana's, she didn't cringe away this time.

"You were tricked, Kitty. Whatever you think you saw, whatever you think you did, it didn't actually happen. It was all in your head," he explained.

Shadowcat only nodded dumbly. Illyana crawled across the floor to her as her horns began to recede back into her head. She wrapped her arm around Kitty's shoulders comfortingly and brushed a few brown strands behind her ear and out of her face. Kitty stared at her chest where she could still see the tip of her katana protruding from above the blonde's left breast.

"That takes care of that," Logan grumbled from across the basement, brushing his bloody hands against each other as he stood up from the ground and moved back towards the three of them. Except for the box and the pile of green, quivering goop on the floor, they were alone. "No sign of Emma yet?"

"I have her," Hank's voice entered the fray, causing the four of them to turn towards the door. Despite the poor lighting out in the corridor beyond, he quickly came into view and sure enough, Emma was in his arms and Hisako was trailing close behind. He crossed over to them, setting her down and propping her up against the wall. Her glacial eyes stared blankly ahead of her, completely out of it and totally unresponsive. Scott squatted down in front of her, facing all of them as he brought his hand up to cup is chin, the handgun still dangling from his other hand.

"What about the rest of them?" Kitty asked, climbing unsteadily to her knees, and then to her feet. "We have Shaw and Emma, but there was a kid that attacked me, and there must be others too and—"

"There was never anyone else here, Kitty. It was just Emma and Shaw," Scott explained, unnaturally calm for what he was saying, "They were trying to get that _thing_ out of its cage. They were trying to restore Cassandra Nova's consciousness."

"And I did it for them," Kitty realized, her eyes narrowing is disgust. "They _manipulated me_ into doing it for them. Because I was the only one who _could_."

She strode purposefully over to Scott, the rage she had felt earlier, back in her dreamworld, returning once more. At least one of those betrayals had been real. She should have _known_ better than the trust Emma Frost. She _had_ known. But she had taken her eye off the ball, she had given her the benefit of the doubt, she had trusted that _Scott_ knew what he was doing. She had been wrong.

Kitty grabbed the gun still hanging on Cyclops' fingers, cocked it, and aimed it at the White Queen's head.

"Kitty!" Scott was on his feet before the word was completely out of his mouth, only to be pushed back by the brunette's free hand. Illyana stood up to take his place, grabbing Kitty by her bicep and holding it tight.

"Katya," there was a note of warning in her voice, though not for the same reasons as those around them might have intended. Given these events, Illyana couldn't have cared any less whether or not Emma lived but she wasn't going to let _Kitty_ kill her. Her anger was controlling her actions, and Illyana knew she'd regret it. That was the _last_ thing she wanted for her lover.

" _No_. Doesn't anyone care about what she did to us? Three _years_. She— I was in that place for _three_ _years_. And she did that to me! She made me do things that I could _never_ do, just so she could get her stupid fucking _slug,"_ Kitty argued.

Scott spoke slowly as if that would somehow force her to understand, "It wasn't her, Kitty. The Emma I know wouldn't do that. I know you're hurting, but you need to put down the gun."

"Don't tell me what to do. I am _not_ a child," Shadowcat snapped back at him, "When I got here, Emma called me into her office and told me that the _reason_ she had wanted me on the team was to make sure nothing like this _happened_. Well, it happened anyway. I'm just giving her what she wanted."

"From what I have gathered," Hank cut in, pushing his spectacles up on his nose, "Emma is just as much of a victim here as the rest of us. She put Cassandra Nova's consciousness into that blob in the first place. But it seems like _Cassandra_ also put something in _her_. One suggestion, too small to notice, but clamped on to Emma's greatest weakness..."

"Guilt. It fed off her guilt," Scott continued the thought, speaking as much to everyone else as he was musing to himself, "Guilt about falling in with Shaw, becoming the White Queen, failing her students at Genosha... _Surviving_ Genosha. There's a voice in Emma's head telling her she's evil, that she's always been evil, that Genosha was all her fault. And she thinks that voice is hers. It whispered to her, instructed her, told her everything she needed to do. And Shaw came along to make certain that none of us would interfere."

"Following Scott's logic, what Emma did was confront us with our worst fears. But not all of us are are susceptible to psychic illusions of that sort..." Hank glanced at Illyana, "Shaw helped her keep us busy so we wouldn't be able to stop her from freeing Cassandra from her prison."

Kitty's arms shook, the gun waving uncontrollably in the air, still pointed at Emma's head, but with lessening intent. Carefully, Scott took it from her hand and her arms fell limp at her sides. Illyana placed her hands on Kitty's shoulders, squeezing them gently.

"So they won. Nova is free. Now what?" Logan asked.

Before Scott or anyone else could respond, a barrage of laser-bullets sent all of them scattering in different directions. And if that didn't get their attention, the guttural roar that echoed around them sure as hell did. Illyana summoned her Soulsword from her chest as she turned to face the intruders—Danger and Ord. Her blue eyes flashed back to that demonic, yellowish-orange and she bared her teeth aggressively, her fangs still present.

" _You_ ," she hissed, every single memory of her time in his lab running through her mind in the time it took her to raise her sword. But as she went in for a swing at him, every one occupying the cold, metal room dematerialized, leaving behind an empty basement with no sign of where they'd gone.

* Mommy loves you - Translated from Russian

** I love mommy - Translated from Russian

*** Sweetheart - Translated from Russian


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The X-Men are kidnapped by S.W.O.R.D. and are informed of who is destined to destroy the Breakworld.

### Previously, in Astonishing X-Men...

> When the X-Men found Illyana in the basement of Benetech Laboratories, they also discovered that Agent Brand of S.W.O.R.D. had condoned Ord’s experiments on her, as a means of stalling a war between Breakworld and Earth. While the X-Men have been battling Danger in Genosha, then Emma and Shaw on their home turf, psychics on planet Breakworld and with S.W.O.R.D. identified the mutant prophesised to destroy Ord’s home. Ord’s escape from his cell in S.W.O.R.D.’s spacecraft was facilitated by Danger, and the two attempted to attack the X-Men only moments after they had defeated Shaw and Emma. S.W.O.R.D. teleported the X-Men, along with Armor, Danger and Ord, into their own ship.
> 
> **Author's Note:** Thank you to everyone who has liked, followed or reviewed Soulbound! We appreciate each and every one of you who has shown your support!

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Initially, when the X-Men and their companions, Ord, Danger and Hisako re-materialized on S.W.O.R.D.'s spacecraft, none of them realized that their environment had even changed, nor that they were surrounded by several agents that had guns aimed and ready to fire. Despite the change in lighting and what should have been a very obvious change to their surroundings, they kept moving as though they'd never been disrupted, Illyana completing her swing at Ord only to be thrown back when his large, heavy fist hit her right in the chest.

"Stand down! _Stand down_!" One of the agents shouted at them, but to no avail. Hank and Scott were engaged with Danger, Kitty, Logan and Magik with the Breakworlder. Only Hisako, sitting on the floor completely stunned and speechless, even noticed the change. Emma sat on the outer edge of the lowered, circular platform they had appeared in, still completely out of it.

" _Rasputin_!" Ord screamed, his eyes wide and crazy as he lunged for Illyana, neverminding the fact that Shadowcat stood between them. Logan jumped onto his back and stopped him in his tracks, his claws out and poised, prepared to rip open his chest. Wolverine went in for what he intended to be a fatal blow when a vaguely familiar, completely exasperated female voice sounded from somewhere behind them.

"For the love of God, hit 'em," Agent Brand ordered, and seconds later every single one of the X-Men on board, as well as Ord and Danger, were pulled to the ground, flat on their stomachs or backs, by a sudden increase in gravity within the area in which they stood.

"What the hell?" Logan snarled as Brand approached the platform, hands clasped behind her back.

"Localized gravity surge. Handy for unruly passengers like yourselves," she explained matter-of-factly, coming to a stop just outside of the circle.

"Agent Brand, I'm giving you ten seconds to turn it off," Scott warned, his voice strained against the new conditions, his eyes narrowed.

"Or _what_?" She tested him, not even realizing that one of the X-Men had gone missing from the circle.

That was, until her gun was suddenly missing from its holster and was pressed hard against the back of her head instead.

"Or else," Kitty told her. The sound of guns being readied and swung in her direction by the agents that held them did not faze the X-Man one bit, nor did the fact that she had found a gun in her hands for the second time in the span of just a few minutes. She was still angry, still confused, but just as determined as ever.

"You're not going to kill me, kid," Brand told her, only adding to her indignation.

"I'm not?" she shot back, phasing the barrel of the gun right through the woman's skull, "You have no idea what I'm capable of. I would turn off the gravity, if I was you."

Brand's eyes rolled up to look at the gun phased right between her eyes, her brow furrowing in thought. She weighed her options. Then, finally, a moment later she spoke again, "If anyone so much as _thinks_ of starting anything—looking right at _you_ , Ord—I'll turn the gravity up so high it'll liquefy your useless ass."

Another moment's pause, and then, "Let 'em up."

"Thank you," Kitty ground out, pulling the gun back out of Brand's head and dropping it right back into the holster on her hip as the rest of the X-Men climbed carefully to their feet. She watched them, realizing belatedly that she had just risked her skin to save all of them and that they hadn't—in her nightmare, at least—done the same for her. Had that really just been something she had dreamed up? Some internalized fear that Emma had been able to use against her to get what she wanted? Was their any truth to it? She didn't want to believe it, yet there it was, niggling at the back of her mind. She had killed Illyana, she would have killed Emma, and now Brand.

Unfortunately, or maybe _fortunately_ , she didn't have time to dwell on that in light of their newest crisis. More dust, and no time to clean out the mess that the last lot had made.

"My planet is at stake here, Agent Brand. She is the one that is going to destroy it. You know this! Kill her!" Ord was hollering, pointing angrily at a shocked and confused Illyana who still had her Soulsword gripped tightly in her hand, "What is _her_ life against _billions_?"

"That's not going to be how it goes," Brand told him, turning her gaze to the blonde for a moment, "You, put that away."

"What does he mean?" She demanded, making no move to get rid of her Soulsword. Instead, she only gripped it tighter, her knuckles turning white.

Brand sighed, lowering her gaze and pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers, "The psychics on Breakworld discovered that you, Ms. Rasputin, are the one fated to destroy their planet."

The X-Men stared at her. Illyana laughed, like a joke lied somewhere within the S.W.O.R.D. commander's words.

"That's _insane_ ," Kitty spoke first.

"How?" Magik wanted to know, her amused disbelief evident in her tone, "How do you suppose I'm going to destroy an entire _planet_? Drop it into Limbo? Why would I bother?"

Logan grunted in agreement, "Kid's right. There's no way."

"A miscalculation, perhaps?" Hank asked.

"There is no mistake!" Ord shouted, slamming his fist into his open palm, "The visions do not lie. I demand that Rasputin be neutralized!"

Brand's attention went back to Ord, "Like I said, that isn't going to happen. She's an asset to me right now and _you_ are a prisoner so I suggest you stop trying to throw orders at me on _my_ ship."

"As for your buddy here," she continued, green gaze drifting to Danger, "I assume you realize now that we have a very aggressive defense system. Trying to take over our computer systems was not your wisest decision."

"You've given me a virus," Danger stepped closer to her. Brand smirked.

"Seven hundred _thousand_ of them, actually," she told her, but before she could continue mocking the robotic woman, Scott—who had knelt down by Emma's side—was questioning her.

"What are we doing here, Brand? _Where_ are we?"

"Quadrant Theta 669, on a sub-light arc for the Breakworld. The course is unchangeable, so don't even try it, Ms. Pryde," she replied, sending a pointed glance at the brunette, "We've got over twenty-four hours, but if you want your briefing now—"

"No, not yet. Do you have a psychic on board?" Scott interrupted, helping Emma to her feet and stabilizing her body against his.

Brand turned to the nearest agent, "Tell Sydren to meet us in the med lab, then escort the rest of them to their rooms. iRobot and Ord are to be taken to their cells."

* * *

Kitty sat on the edge of one of the hard, bolted-to-the-ground beds in the room she and Illyana had been shown to. The room was large, with its own kitchenette and bathroom, but not luxurious. The edges were hard, most of the surfaces were metal, and no great length had been taken to make it seem anywhere near comfortable. The huge, square porthole that looked out into space was daunting more than anything else.

They were on a course for Breakworld, the planet Ord hailed from, the place Illyana was prophesised to destroy. Agent Brand was calling the shots, and short of taking out every single person on her ship and finding a way to turn it around, the X-Men weren't likely to wrangle back any control of the situation. She didn't like it, and she certainly didn't _trust_ S.W.O.R.D. to do the right thing by them, especially not after what they had let happen to Magik in the first place.

Behind the claustrophobia of being trapped in outer space, she was still shaken up over the dreamworld she had experienced. The impression that it had left in her mind was fading fast, but though the weight of Nadya in her arms was becoming nothing more than a quickly-disappearing fantasy, she couldn't forget about what she had _done_. Whether she had been in full control of her agency and her actions in that world, she wasn't sure, but she had still _killed_ Illyana. She had been _willing_ to kill all the X-Men along with her, too.

Idly, Kitty picked her gloves off her fingers, then pulled them off her hands completely, laying them together on the thin mattress beside her. She felt like she needed to say something, to apologize, to explain, but nothing was coming to her. She was disgusted with herself, and though the dark purple bruise that stood out on Illyana's neck was calling to her, she felt that she had no right to even touch her girlfriend right then. No right to try and comfort her through what she _knew_ must be hard. Seeing Ord again, being thrown at a fate she wanted no part of. But Kitty kept seeing her katana sticking out of her chest, kept feeling the flashes of uncontrolled fury towards her even though she _knew_ that was inappropriate.

They had all been tricked, they had all been put through hell, and yet there she was selfishly hanging on to her own self-pity while they hurtled towards yet another obstacle to face. But it had been _perfect_. She had been so _happy_. She had had a _daughter_. That was very hard to just let go of.

On the other side of the room, Illyana sat on her own bed, staring out of the large window into the endless depths of space, her mind wandering off somewhere out there with the stars that shined brightly in the distance. What were they even doing out here? If she was destined to destroy the Breakworld, if that supposed "fact" had resulted in her being strapped down in a lab and drugged non-stop for three years just to prevent a war, then why the _hell_ was S.W.O.R.D. serving up that planet on a silver platter to her now? It wasn't that she had any intention to give their stupid prophesy validity, but if they were so worried about it then why potentially enable her? For a bunch of people that were supposedly in charge of protecting the planet, they were all pretty dumb.

She pulled her eyes away from the starry expanse and dropped her attention to the floor between her feet. Her bangs made a curtain that blocked her face from view as she frowned, her fingers gripping tightly at her ripped up pants. She wanted so badly to get up and sit at Kitty's side, to ask her about whatever had happened, but the vibe she'd gotten from her girlfriend since they'd been shown to their room—possibly even before _that_ —had been anything but inviting. She got the strong feeling that the brunette wasn't particularly fond of her presence right then and as much as Illyana was willingly to respect those unspoken wishes, it didn't mean it didn't sting. And it sure as hell brought up what Shaw had said to her in the infirmary. His words still echoed quite prominently in her mind, shaming her away from even looking up at Kitty.

Instead, Illyana rotated her body just enough to bring her legs up onto the bed as she laid her body back. It was hard and uncomfortable, reminiscent of her "bed" in the lab at Benetech, but it obviously wasn't anything she couldn't deal with. She folded her arms behind her head, staring up blankly at the ceiling in silence.

Abruptly, Kitty stood up. She couldn't take the silence between them, couldn't take the sudden _distance_. No matter what Emma had done to her, no matter what she herself had or had not been prepared to do, both inside and outside of her dreamworld, she was not going to let that eat away at the best thing she had. She couldn't ignore that it _had_ happened, no, but she couldn't sit and ruminate any longer. She was an X-Man. She had shit to do, a life to get on with. A girlfriend to hold.

She approached Illyana's bed slowly, consciously willed her arms not to go around her body and hug herself like they so desperately wanted to, told her hands to stay at her sides rather than twist so nervously together. She reached the bed and held her arms out towards the blonde who laid upon it, "Yana?"

Illyana's eyes rolled to look at Kitty and she couldn't ignore the little flutter her heart made when she realized what she was silently asking for. A small smile formed on her lips and the blonde pushed herself up with her elbows, letting her feet fall back to the ground while she turned to face the slightly older mutant. Magik wrapped her arms around Shadowcat's waist, pulling her in close and pressing the side of her face against her body, "Yes Katya?"

Kitty's squeezed her arms around her shoulders, her head falling down to stare at the top of her girlfriend's head while a relieved smile danced across her lips. She tried to joke, "I know X-Men aren't supposed to run away but... Do you think it's too late to go to Limbo?"

"It's never too late to go to Limbo," Illyana spoke against the fabric of Kitty's uniform before pressing a gentle kiss to it and half-jokingly adding, "Just give me the word."

Shadowcat pursed her lips in mock-thoughtfulness, "I'll have to pack a bag. And try on all my clothes again."

"No, you take so long even Lockheed doesn't want to deal with it," Illyana laughed, squeezing her closer, "We can make you new clothes in Limbo."

"Ooooooor," Kitty drawled, smiling wider now, "We could just go naked."

"You would like that, wouldn't you, Katya?" the blonde teased, turning her head and pressing her chin against her while she looked up to meet Kitty's gaze.

The brunette scoffed in offense, drawing her arms up until she could drape them over Illyana's shoulders and grin down at her, "And you wouldn't?"

"I would," Magik's expression mirrored her lover's as her arms retracted from her body, instead placing her hands on Kitty's hips instead, "But I don't want _others_ to like it too, if you know what I mean."

"The others being the demons?" Shadowcat frowned skeptically, "What if we kill them all first, _then_ get naked?"

"I like that plan," Illyana tugged Kitty closer to her, trying to urge her knees to bend. The older mutant complied, climbing up onto the hard surface of the bed and pressing her knees into the mattress of either side of the blonde's hips. She sat back on her thighs, her fingers curled around the back of Illyana's neck.

"Do you want to be the one to break it to Ord that you can't destroy his planet, or should I?"

"Neither, let's let him worry himself to death over it," Illyana leaned in and brought their lips together briefly.

"I like that plan," Kitty grinned at her before leaning in for a longer, tender kiss, her hands cupping over Magik's cheeks, preventing her from pulling away too soon. But each second that the kiss lingered, the more Illyana's mind kicked into overdrive. The more Shaw's words resonated in her head, mocking her, taunting her.

When she pulled away, the look on her face was a lot more serious and the shimmer in her eyes had gone from playful to worried. She looked Kitty in the eyes, her voice quiet and sincere, "Katya, you know that I'd never hurt you, don't you?"

The smile fell from Kitty's face, though she nodded as if she understood. She shifted in Illyana's lap, her gaze dropping between their bodies instead. While some part of her _did_ know that, another part showed her Magik's Soulsword raised to attack. If she didn't say something, it was going to fester inside of her, she knew. And it would hurt their relationship. She lifted her eyes slowly, and dropped one hand from the blonde's shoulder to link their fingers together instead.

"In the dreamworld Emma put me in, we had a daughter," she started, a small smile on her lips at the memory, "But the X-Men decided she was too dangerous, and you let them take her from me."

Illyana squeezed Kitty's hand, as if that alone would be enough to convince her, "I would _never_ do that to you. I would sooner _die_ than betray you or our child. You have to know that."

"I do," Kitty assured her, "It was just... It wasn't an easy thing to go through. I tortured you so you'd tell me where she was. I phased my katana through your heart and said some really awful things that I didn't think I was even capable of _thinking_."

As jarring as it was to hear those words from her girlfriend's mouth, Illyana raised their intertwined hands up between their chests. She held Kitty's against her body, "Katya, it was a dream. I know you wouldn't do that, and you know it too."

"You don't think it means anything? I mean, I know Emma was just doing what she had to do get me to open that box, but... I was so angry, Yana. It hurt so much. I wanted to make you all _pay_ for taking my daughter from me. Then I almost shot Emma when I found out that she was behind it all," the brunette told her, her eyes locked on Illyana's, begging her to understand.

"I know what it feels like to be so angry that you would kill someone," Illyana started, her brow dipping slightly but she never took her gaze from Kitty's, "If someone is threatening your child, or someone you love, can you blame yourself for wanting to take the life of the one that threatens what you hold close to you?"

It was a good question. Although Kitty still wasn't completely certain that anything she had done had been justified, that very easily could have been because she _knew_ Illyana and the others would never do anything to warrant that response in her. It didn't make her okay with what had occurred in her dreamworld, but she would at least deal with it better now, she thought. She was slightly closer to accepting what she had done.

Finally, she smiled, bobbing her head slightly and pressing a kiss to the blonde's forehead, "Thank you, Yana. I don't know what I would do without you. I was so scared when I found you on the floor in the infirmary, with your horns and your legs and everything."

"You saw that?" Illyana almost physically cringed, pulled somewhere between embarrassment and shame. She knew she'd seen her in the basement, after the transformation had started to reverse, but she had no idea that she'd seen the whole thing while she had been unconscious.

"Yeah," Kitty nodded, "One of the Hellfire—what I _thought_ was one of the Hellfire Club— made me phase through the ground, and I couldn't stop myself. When I made it back up, I came to the infirmary to find you. Was that Shaw that did that to you?"

Illyana nodded, letting it go on a little longer than she should have as a means to stall as long as she could, "He was in there when I went looking for Emma."

"And?" the other girl pressed, freeing her hand from Magik's in order to caress her cheeks. For a long few moments, Illyana was quiet. Did she _want_ to talk about it? Some part of her did. Some part of her wanted assurance that what Shaw said wasn't true, as much as she tried to get herself to believe it on her own. How else would she stop the nagging feeling at the back of her mind that told her maybe it _was_ true? But if she was going to bring it up, where did she even begin?

"And he provoked me," she finally said, casting her gaze down despite the fact that she couldn't really move her face while Kitty held on to it. She frowned, "He said that the X-Men don't trust me and that they watch me because they're afraid of how easily I might snap."

Illyana glanced up at her again for a moment, only to drop her eyes back down again so she wouldn't see the look in Kitty's eyes following her next words, "He said that the only reason we're together is because I have you fooled and that you'll leave when you see through it."

"Oh Yana," Kitty sighed, wrapping her arms around her shoulders to cradle the blonde's body against her own. Given Illyana's past, she knew how much that must have hurt her.

 "First of all, I love you and I would never leave you. Second of all, you could not fool me if you tried. I'm a genius, remember?" she teased, before growing more serious, "I know exactly who you are, princess. I like to think that I know you better than anyone else in the world. And I _like_ what I know. _That's_ why we're together. And the others _do_ trust you. Why would Scott have invited you on the team if they didn't? Shaw was just trying to get under your skin, to manipulate you like Emma did with me. He was only saying what he thought would upset you the most."

Illyana slipped her arms back around Kitty's waist, burying her face against her neck where the brunette could feel her relieved smile against her skin. Kitty was right, Magik knew she was. She had thought the same herself, but it didn't make it sting any less and it did its job in feeding the fire of the insecurities that only her lover knew about. When she pulled away from the older woman's neck it was to kiss her instead, and then, "I love you, Katya."

"I know," Kitty gave her an affectionate little smile, her fingers stroking through the blonde's slightly tangled hair, "I love you, too. We're going to get to Breakworld and show them just how wrong their prophecy is, then we're going to go home and get milkshakes. Got it? This will all be over before you know it."

"Good, because I could really go for a milkshake and a burger right about now," Illyana admitted, brushing her nose against Kitty's and earning herself a soft laugh. She smiled wider this time, her blue eyes lighting up suddenly, "We had a baby?"

"A little girl," Shadowcat nodded, smiling somewhat sheepishly, "We named her Nadya Pietra Rasputin, and she was beautiful."

Illyana grinned, tipping her head to the side slightly. She'd never thought about children before. She hadn't ever really needed to, not before she and Kitty had gotten together. And even after, children had been so far down her list of possibilities that there was no need to contemplate it. Who was she to try and bring a kid into the world, anyway? But hearing Kitty talk about it, seeing the smile on her face and the obvious _happiness_ that the thought brought her tugged heavily on Illyana's mind to possibly rethink her stance on babies, "Were we good mothers?"

"The best," Kitty grinned, as if that should have been obvious, "She was so spoiled. But she was smart, too. She knew exactly how to get what she wanted out of us, and everyone else at the mansion, too. _Everyone_ loved her, and she had them all wrapped around her little finger."

Illyana grinned right back at her, "Sounds like a child of ours."

"Was she yours?" the blonde wondered then, scrunching up her face at the thought of her own pregnant self.

"I carried her, yeah. But you did some magick thing and made her out of both of us," Kitty explained.

"I made life with my magick?" Illyana asked, more for a clarification than a lack of understanding. She'd always known her magicks had been capable of death, capable of healing, but to _create life_? It may have been just a part of Kitty's dream, and dreams were simply fantasies, but was it so far-fetched to believe that it was truly possible?

"I have _no_ idea how you made it work, but it did," Kitty smiled at the expression on her lover's face, brushing the back of her fingers across her cheek at the same time that she leaned in to place a soft kiss on her lower lip.

When Illyana pulled back, it was only slightly and Kitty could feel the blonde's grin against her own mouth as she spoke jestfully, "Should I practice?"

"With wha-- No!" Shadowcat exclaimed, her shock and horror apparent on her face when she jerked her head back to glare at the other mutant and to give her shoulder a reprimanding wrack with the back of her hand that saw Illyana bursting into laughter.

"Calm down, lapushka*," she said, grabbing Kitty by her hips and pulling her closer so their bodies were flush against each other, "You're a handful by yourself. What would I do with a mini-you?"

" _I'm_ a handful?" she snorted, shifting her legs on either side of Illyana so that they curled loosely behind her body, "Have you met you?"

Magik grinned and tipped her head to the side, going in for another kiss that was much deeper and much longer this time. Kitty hummed her approval against her mouth, her hands falling to Illyana's shoulders, holding them gently in her grasp. The blonde raked her teeth over Shadowcat's lower lip before she captured it between her own and sucked at it lightly instead.

Carefully coordinating their movements, the two of them twisted around until Illyana could lay Kitty down on her bed and climb on top of her. Their kiss grew more passionate then, surprising themselves at just how quickly they had managed to turn a serious conversation into _this_. Kitty's hands rubbed up and down Magik's back, her legs wrapping themselves securely around her waist.

Abruptly, however, Shadowcat broke their mouths apart.

"If you make me phase through this ship and into _space_ , I will come back and haunt you, Illyana Rasputin," she glared pointedly at the blonde.

"Shut up and kiss me, Pryde," Illyana smirked down at her. Kitty rolled her eyes and dragged her lover's face back down until their lips met again.

* Sweetheart - Translated from Russian


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The X-Men are briefed on their newest mission and are split up when the S.W.O.R.D. ship is attacked and they have to evacuate.

It was a few hours later that Brand gathered them all together for the briefing. Emma had been declared to be free of Cassandra Nova's influence, and more-or-less fit for duty, so she joined the rest of them in the large, circular room Brand had had her agents escort them all to. They sat around a large, holographic display that showed a map of Breakworld.

"I don't get it, I don't like it, but there it is," Brand was saying. Did she ever not sound exasperated? "While Ord was down on Earth, the psychics on Breakworld —Augurs, they call them— searched through their prophesies and found that the mutant responsible for destroying their planet was to be our little sorceress here."

The commander shot a pointed look at Illyana who sat slumped in her chair, arms crossed loosely over her chest. She clearly didn't want to be there, but alas. Brand continued, "Seeing as how Magik and Ms. Pryde can't seem to control themselves, I can see where they got their predictions from."

While the other X-Men frowned in confusion, Kitty's face turned scarlet. She sunk down in her seat as if to make herself as small as possible, one hand coming up to cover the lower half of her face."You could have knocked," she muttered under her breath.

"It's _my_ ship," Brand reminded her, "I don't knock."

Across the room, Logan chuckled quietly as an amused, knowing smirk crossed over Emma's blue-painted lips, "And you call _my_ decency into question, kitten?"

"At least I wear clothes in front of the students," Kitty shot back, a defiant pout on her lips while her arms crossed defensively across her chest.

Illyana drew her legs up into her chair, twisting her body sideways and throwing them over the arm of it instead. She tipped her head back, smirking to herself, "If you didn't wanna see it, you didn't have to look, Hydra hair."

"Moving on," Brand started again, rubbing her temples with her index and middle fingers, "Let's get to why you're here."

"It's about bloody time," Emma cut in, earning herself a hard look from the other woman.

"Are you going to keep interrupting me?" she asked as she dropped one hand to her hip, irritated.

"Yup," Illyana piped in, swinging her legs so the back of her heels smacked against the side of the metal chair.

"It's not to late for me to eject you into space, Ms. Rasputin," Brand reminded her, "I could probably stand to lose you. It'd save us a lot of trouble, too."

"I'd just teleport back," the blonde grinned. The commander was not nearly as amused. 

"So back to why we're here," Scott pressed, shifting uncomfortably in his seat, obviously eager to steer the conversation into _any_ other discussion than the one he had just heard.

"We were kidnapped," Hank reminded him matter-of-factly.

"We're not past that yet?" Brand asked as though it was truly something to be forgiven so quickly.

Kitty scoffed, "It was _four_ hours ago! And you _kidnapped_ us!"

"Something you're all used to, I'm sure," Brand pointed out before continuing on, drumming her fingers across a holographic map, "I gathered—"

" _Kidnapped._ "

Brand grit her teeth, "— you all here because the very second Breakworld's Augurs identified Ms. Rasputin as their destroyer, they sent an armada to Earth. But on the way to his cell, Ord broke free and contacted them. They're now headed towards _us_."

"Just like you planned," Scott realized, leaning over to view the map with her.

"Now you're catching on," the woman smirked.

"I was wondering why you gave specific coordinates right in front of him," Scott admitted, cupping his chin in his hand.

"I needed to keep them away from Earth," she explained, "Now, the best way to keep them from blowing this ship to oblivion is to get to Breakworld before they get to us. We should _just_ make it, given our current speed." 

"And what happens when we reach our destination? We'll be up against this 'entire armada', with everyone on Breakworld looking to put Illyana down," Hank pointed out.

"Somewhere, we suspect it might be here on their smallest moon, the Breakworlders have a failsafe," the woman motioned to the screen behind her that displayed the moon in question very clearly, "A missile that we're almost certain could split the Earth in half and there's no way Earth can launch an attack on a superior military force like theirs. There's also no way we can defend against it."

Brand placed her hands out on the holographic map before her and leaned in closer to the X-Men sitting across from where she stood, "I didn't bring you all up here for shits and giggles or for the time it might buy me. I did it because I need superheroes."

"Ideally," she continued as she rounded the table, "we'll land before they get to us and we can find and disable the missile. _Then_ we can figure out —" 

"Agent Brand!" one of the lower-ranked officers hollered as he ran into the room, interrupting her. She turned to face him, ready to snap at him for the interruption, but the look on his face stopped the words from coming out. "No."

"What is it?" Scott rose from his chair, the rest of the X-Men following suit. In the same second, the room they were standing in was washed in red, a siren piercing through the air. 

Brand swore and whipped around to face them, her voice raised so to be heard over the alarms, "They caught us."

"How close are we to the moon?" Kitty asked urgently.

"Not close enough. Agent," Brand nodded at the man who still stood with them, "You know what to do. X-Men, with me."

She set a brisk pace out of the room and down the hallway. Outside the porthole to their left, a multitude of huge metal spacecraft could be seen surrounding their much smaller, much sleeker ship. Missiles spun towards them, chased by tails of angry flame. The explosions upon their impact was deafening and rocked the spacecraft violently, threatening to knock them all to the floor. The shields were holding off most of the damage for now, but with the number of enemy ships they were facing that wouldn't last long. 

"I hope you have a contingency plan," Hank grumbled, straightening his glasses as the rest found their balance again and continued —stumbling every time a missile hit— down the hall. 

"Oh yes," Brand grinned, though the expression was mostly for her own benefit, "Escape craft. Unbreachable hull, precise maneuverability, enough power at short-range to outrun anyone. Prettiest ship in the fleet."

Illyana turned to look out into space, watching as the aforementioned ship zoomed passed them. Her brow furrowed and she turned back to Brand with a skeptical look in her blue eyes, "Then why aren't _we_ on it?"

"Fat chance that thing lands undetected. The best that the men on board can hope for is capture," Brand headed straight for a small set of stairs, the X-Men still in tow.

"Did you _tell_ them that?" Scott wanted to know. 

"They're soldiers, Mr. Summers. They did what they were ordered," she descended down into a much darker hallway, "They bought us time, let's not waste it."

They came to a room in the middle of the ship, one that wasn't drenched in red light and one where the missiles' impact against their hull only shook them minimally. Two agents stood just inside the doorway, each holding a pile of grey clothing. As the X-Men and Hisako filed passed, they were each handed a long-sleeved, slightly armored shirt and a matching pair of pants. Boots were lined up along the wall beside the agents.

None of the mutants looked too pleased about what seemed to be being asked of them. Kitty grimaced down at the colorless pile in her aims, and Emma looked similarly disgusted.

"Get into those, and then we'll talk rendezvous," Brand instructed them, holding her hands behind her back. Illyana took another look at the outfit in her hands and decided against _that_ idea. If they were going to play superhero, might as well look the part.

"No," she said, prompting Brand's eyebrows to knit together as her hidden eyes narrowed beneath her green shades. Magik summoned her Soulsword to her hand and her eyes began to glow a bright bluish-white, making her appear a little more menacing than was necessary. She swung the blade in artful little designs, the brightly pulsating runes that trailed in its wake revealed the act as the casting of a spell. 

A blue mist that smelled faintly of burning pine swirled around the legs of herself and each of her teammates, including Hisako. It traveled up their bodies, engulfing them momentarily before dispersing above their heads and leaving them each standing in their _proper_ uniforms. Magik grinned, pleased with herself. 

After clenching her hands a few times inside her gloves to make sure the fit was exact, Kitty glanced at the blonde by her side. An appreciative smirk formed over her lips, before she abruptly turned to look at Brand. Her eyebrows raised expectantly, "Continue." 

"Next time I'll be sure to call the Avengers instead," Brand noted as she handed each of them a plastic packet, keeping one for herself. They examined the contents through the transparent material as the commander took a more hands-on approach. She plucked out a curved device that was small enough to fit inside of the top of one's mouth and held it up for them all to see, "These go behind your teeth. They filter out impurities and the capsules on the ends time-release supplementary oxygen so you all don't suffocate and die on me. The earwigs work as translators."

She slipped out a flat, mini-version of the holographic map they had been crowded around earlier. It was a thin sheet of plastic, as flexible as a piece of paper and one that could easily be folded up and stored on them somewhere where they weren't in danger of losing it. Brand turned it around to face them, her finger hovering beside a glowing red dot, "We rendezvous here. The GPS will guide you, but if something happens and you lose it, we're headed to Attur-Hei."

"'Palace of the Corpse'?" Hank frowned, gingerly fingering the device he had inserted into his ear, while the others set up their own.

"Good, it works," Brand nodded, like she hadn't been perfectly confident that they would have before hand.

"Yes, it's very impressive," Beast nodded, though the dryness in his voice said otherwise, "Palace of the _Corpse_?"

"It's a tomb that got dug up recently and our source says that it could tie into the prophesy," She explained, "There's no time to explain it all now. We need to get on world and find out how Ms. Rasputin supposedly destroys the planet, publicly invalidate the prophesy and then disable that missile they've got pointed at Earth. If you have questions, they wait until we're on-world. Let's move."

Tentatively, Hisako raised her hand, "I'm not exactly sure why _I'm_ here or why we haven't been blown up yet, but, uhh... _How_ exactly are we getting 'on-world'?"

***

Illyana honestly could have done without Agent Brand's methods of getting out of the ship and onto the Breakworld. Strapped into an uncomfortably small seat within an enclosed space capsule of some kind, metal bars secured over her shoulders and her fingers wrapped tightly around the "handles" that dropped down from those bars, this was not her way of traveling. She could handle the X-Jet, she could handle a commercial airliner full of stinky, screeching babies and smelly passengers—especially where Kitty was involved—but this? _'I should have just teleported us. Damn her and her stupid Hydra hair.'_

The violent vibrating of their ship as it shot towards Breakworld saw her body tensing so rigidly that it was painful, and her stomach lurched. She fought it back, squeezing her eyes shut in her determination to keep the contents of her churning stomach down. She wasn't gonna lose it when the kid that hadn't even made X-Man yet wasn't losing it. _That_ would have been embarrassing.

It was safe to say that the others she was strapped in with, Logan, Kitty and Hisako, weren't doing particularly well themselves. Logan sat across from her, his jaw clenched so tightly she could practically see the tendons in his neck sticking out _through_ his uniform. Beside Wolverine, Armor had her head bowed, her feet twisting against the floor as if that would do anything to relieve the crazy amount of turbulence that was battering their tiny excuse for an escape pod, and the equally crazy amount of pressure they were all under inside of it.

Kitty sat beside her, her head pressed back against the headrest and her teeth gritted together. Each of them had their eyes screwed closed, but when Illyana felt something small and soft brushing against her thigh, she knew it was Kitty's hand. Her tiny nails pressed into her leg through the material of her pants, clenching around it almost desperately. The blonde let go of the handle bar she was holding and dropped her hand to Shadowcat's, squeezing it tightly. She had to force a smile, not because of a lack of _wanting_ to smile at her lover if she'd been looking, but because she physically could not bring her mouth to form the expression otherwise.

"Kid's out," Logan told them, though neither Kitty nor Illyana opened their eyes to confirm that. They may have not been able to see themselves hurtling through space and towards the dusty orange planet below, but somehow not even being able to see each other made the experience slightly easier to endure. 

"How you ridin', Kitten?" Wolverine asked.

Swallowing hard, Kitty parted her lips to answer and hoped that her lunch wouldn't come out with it, "Fine. Yana?"

"Mmhmm," Illyana hummed, tightening her hold on Kitty's hand.

Kitty squeezed it back, immediately understanding her girlfriend's inability to verbalise more than that. She wished she could have done more than simply hold her hand. "How long... 'til we land?"

"Prob'ly a while still," Logan answered her, a smirk crawling onto his lips despite their predicament, "Brand really catch the two of ya bumpin' uglies?"

Illyana's lips parted in what started out as one of her trademark little toothy grins but soon turned into a look of distress when her stomach lurched again. She bowed her head and stayed quiet instead.

Kitty groaned inwardly. This was not a conversation she wanted any part in. "Yes," she answered simply, getting a chuckle from Wolverine.

"Welcome to the million mile high club, punkin'," he teased and if Illyana could have laughed, she would have. But just as she thought that maybe she'd acclimated enough to speak without making a disgusting mess in their small space, their environment was changing again. The capsule began to heat up, the temperature becoming increasingly more uncomfortable by the second. Then, with an alarming _clank_ , one of the panels that made up the capsule's walls was torn away, exposing them to the flames that licked around the exterior. 

Illyana glanced at Kitty as another panel tore off and Wolverine was already springing into action. The _snikt_ of his claws was barely heard in the chaos and as he raised his powerful arm, it tore his restraints from their bearings. The metal bar was flung straight towards Kitty and Illyana and—saved only by phasing—banged against the wall behind them before being sucked out of the opening one of the missing panels had left behind. 

"Get outta here!" Logan shouted to them as he turned his attention to the unconscious Hisako, "Wake up, kid!"

Illyana closed her eyes, squeezing Kitty's hand tightly but before she could activate a stepping disc, Shadowcat was making the both of them intangible instead. They were sucked out of the pod before they could even attempt to control their movements, their hands locked together as they hurtled head-first towards Breakworld.

"Katya!" Illyana hollered, startled but realizing as soon as the word was out of her mouth that she should have expected it.

Wind whipped at their bodies and tore whatever Kitty had opened her mouth to say out of her throat before it had a chance to reach Illyana's ears. She managed to pull her free arm across her body, slipping it around Illyana's until they were linked that way — an evidently safer way of making sure they stayed together. The planet's surface was coming up to them fast, along with all the buildings that stuck up towards them like needles from a pin cushion. Needles that were quickly become much larger than they were.

Kitty kept them phased the entire time, fearing a strike from the air behind them, but also not wanting to take the risk of phasing at the last second. The buildings they approached were different from the ones on Earth — made of smooth concrete with no windows, looking more like modern-design statues than anything someone could live or work in. 

Phasing through the first one reminded her instantly of the hundreds of feet of metal she had wandered through back at Benetech Labs — the one that had eventually lead her down to Illyana. She felt the molecules that made up her body slide past the ones in the building's as if they were covered in sandpaper, simultaneously grating against every single inch of her body. Sweat beaded on her forehead that was already glistening with the stuff since their uncomfortable descent. 

The next building she phased through only exacerbated the pain, like enough skin had already been worn away to expose the rawer stuff beneath. Kitty wasn't sure whether the pain she felt now was just as extreme as it had been when she had first phased through Breakworld metal, and if she had just conveniently forgotten about it, or the high speed with which she was falling through it now was making it worse. 

For Illyana, it wasn't any better. In fact, it _was_ worse. It almost felt like Kitty hadn't phased them at all—or at least, was doing a half-assed job of it. The metal and rock raked through her body, making her clench her teeth tightly and squeeze her eyes shut, gasping out in pain. Phasing with Kitty had _never_ been like this before.

Kitty cringed as they fell towards yet _another_ building, and by the time they had gotten through it, her eyes had rolled into the back of her head and she was grappling to remain conscious. Every singe nerve in her body seemed to be screaming at her all at once, but to unphase would mean certain death. She felt weak, her grip on Illyana's arm loosening significantly. She wasn't going to make it through another building, no matter how hard she tried to regain her composure.

Illyana wasn't faring much better: she felt light-headed, teetering on the edge of consciousness. Even still, the blonde twisted their bodies and wrapped her arms around Kitty's body tightly as the brunette fainted and the both of them solidified. Another building was approaching fast, but Illyana couldn't muster the strength in her current condition to safely stepping disc them down below. The last thing she wanted to do was get them stuck in Limbo if it someone went wrong. She ground her teeth together as one arm held Kitty as close to her body as possible while the other shot out, summoning her Soulsword to her outstretched hand. Her fingers closed around the hilt and in the same moment, she willed her Eldritch armor onto her. The gleaming silver encased her body, appearing from thin air, just in time for her back to collide with another building. They slid down a slight slope in the structure's design before they were falling again, their momentum slowed only marginally. 

Magik shut her eyes tight, bracing for the inevitable impact with the ground. She tossed her Soulsword away from her, no use in holding it. She didn't want to accidentally stab either one of them when they hit the ground and she could always will it back to her later. Instead, she placed her freed hand on the back of Kitty's head and tucked her own downwards towards her chest. 

Her shoulders and upper back hit the ground first and she could _feel_ the armor denting and crushing inwards, even as the rest of her body—and Kitty's on top of it—joined it in leaving a crater in the cement concourse they landed in. The jarring impact was enough to knock Kitty back into consciousness. She lifted her head only a few inches from Illyana's armored chest before the effort proved too much combined with the rest of the pain in her body, and she let it drop back down against her hard shoulder.

"Yana," she breathed, her voice strained and muffled against the other mutant's neck, "Did anyone see us?"

Illyana groaned, a dull ache coursing through her body from the fall, and she lifted her own head up to peer around them with half-closed eyes. Through her blurred vision should could make out several humanoid shapes. Green-skinned just like Ord, some of them carrying what looked to be glowing rifles. She planted one hand firmly against the ground, her head spinning but she did her best to hold it together, and pushed herself up. 

"Katya," she started, making an attempt to push the other woman's body off of her, but it didn't last long and instead she fell back to the cracked cement.

Even though she wanted nothing more than to go home and curl up in her nice, warm, _soft_ bed —preferably with her favorite person in the world—Kitty screwed her face up, a preemptive, strangled sob leaving her throat as she phased the both of them down into the ground.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the Breakworld and separated from the rest of the X-Men, Illyana and Kitty are pursued by people who would rather see Illyana dead than their planet destroyed. But then they are approached by someone who offers an alternative view of the prophesy.

After sinking through the concourse to escape the very unwanted attention of the Breakworlders that had surrounded them, Kitty and Illyana hit the ground with a reverberating metallic _clang._ The sound rang off the stone walls of what appeared to be an underground tunnel of some sort, dying out slowly as it echoed down the damp stone walls. The full-faced helmet receded back from the blonde's head and away from her face, becoming nothing more than a fancy silver headdress as Illyana pushed herself up with one hand, dragging her body backwards to the side of the tunnel. She pulled Kitty with her, propping herself up against the stone and guiding her lover up with her to cradle her in her arms.

"Katya," she said quietly, careful not to speak too loudly incase anyone was around to hear them. Not that the two couldn't take them _normally_ , but right now, in this moment, neither of them were in any condition to fight just yet, "Are you okay?"

Kitty nodded slowly and let her head fall back against the wall, breathing in deep, calming breaths of whatever her S.W.O.R.D.-issued mouthpiece was converting into oxygen. Her whole body felt raw, like she had a very bad case of sunburn that not only covered her skin but also seared her insides as well, but she knew they weren't going to be given the luxury of rest for long before they had to be up and moving again.

"I will be in a second," she told Illyana, "I'm sorry. Just... gimme a sec."

Magik gave her an understanding nod, pressing a kiss to her sweaty forehead. She tipped her own head back, closing her eyes as her Eldritch armor retreated back to whence it came and left her back in her usual X-Uniform. Only the armor on her left arm remained.

" _You_ okay?" Kitty asked her, no more than peering out of the corner of her eyes at Magik.

"Yup," It was small, but Illyana's tired grin was there.

A relieved smile was all that Shadowcat managed as she let her own eyes flutter closed as well. Her closest hand drifted into her girlfriend's lap, giving her thigh a small but appreciative squeeze. Illyana let one of her own hands fall, placing it over Kitty's and wrapping her fingers around it gently.

"I can carry you," the blonde offered. She knew they needed to get moving to meet up with the others and before anyone who had seen them alerted more capable people to come look for them, but she wasn't going to force Kitty along while she was still recovering.

"And let Brand make fun of us again?" the brunette grinned, before sobering up with a small sigh, "No, I can do it. I just need to never phase ever again. Not _ever_. And not free falling down to strange, hostile planets with mean ugly aliens would be good, too."

Illyana laughed, hugging Kitty closer to her body with the arm that was wrapped around her. She leaned her head against Shadowcat's, "Do you have your map?"

The other girl nodded, her free hand moving towards her abdomen. She phased her fingers through her uniform and found the edge of the laminated, holographic map they had been given and drew it out into the open.

She went to pass it to Illyana, only to stop and narrow her eyes at her halfway there, "What happened to yours?"

The grin that crossed over the blonde's lips was child-like and mischievous, "I didn't bring it."

What had Kitty expected, really?

"Of course you didn't," Shadowcat rolled her eyes at her, "Tell me you at least put your translator in."

Illyana lifted her hand and tapped at her ear where she'd inserted the object in question.

"Good girl," Kitty nudged her playfully with her shoulder, "It would have been back to the Baby Brigade with you, otherwise. Let's see where we are now."

She held the map out between their bodies where the both of them could see the tiny red dot that marked their destination. About two thirds of the way down the sheet were their own glowing blue circles.

Illyana took one look at the distance between the two locations and groaned, "That's a long way to walk."

Kitty raised her eyebrows at her lover this time, her expression incredulous, "Who said anything about walking?"

Illyana grinned, her eyes lighting up at the implication, "Are you okay to go?"

With a groan, Kitty had started to push herself up the wall, map firmly in her hand, but before she could get very far, the sound of footfalls echoing down the tunnel reached her ears. It sounded like an _army_ of them.

She looked down at Illyana, "Uhhh..."

No sooner had she been about to ask that Illyana work her magick _A.S.A.P_ , green blasts of light were shooting down the otherwise darkened passageway towards them. The eerie glow lit up the walls and exposed their enemies before it reached them, and Kitty's hand was around Illyana's upper arm to phase the both of them before they could come to harm.

"So much for that idea," she sighed.

"I'll handle it," Illyana assured her in the brief moment before she disappeared through a stepping disc that basked the tunnel in a bright bluish-white light that was strong enough to swallow the light of their attackers' blasts.

She emerged from another portal right in front of the leader of the charge, thrusting her Soulsword straight into his chest without even a second of hesitation. She ripped it from his body, and he fell passed her, unconscious with no physical wound to speak of. She ducked out of another spray of laser bullets and sliced through the next two soldiers who collapsed as soon as she moved towards the next ones.

Not wanting to let her face their attackers alone and despite not feeling at the top of her game, Kitty dashed down the tunnel after her to help. She phased through the aliens—really, herself and Illyana were the aliens—and snatched their guns from their hands before more of them could unleash fire on the blonde. She was thankful when that didn't seem to hurt nearly as much as phasing through their buildings had. The guns had electronics in them, so whenever she passed through them an explosion of blue sparks followed as she disrupted their circuitry, making them useless as anything more than tools to hit with. Being that they couldn't even _hit_ Shadowcat, with their weapons _or_ their fists, they did not fare too well when she started hitting them herself.

By the time Kitty had taken out hers, Illyana had dispatched five more of them, but the remaining three had taken advantage of her preoccupation and wrestled her to the ground. Magik bared her teeth aggressively, wiggling her leg free of restraint and bringing her booted foot up to the alien on top of her's chest. She kicked him off and opened a stepping disc beneath him, letting him fall straight to Limbo and sealing him inside. She made quick work of the other two as well, dealing them the same fate.

She pushed herself off the ground, stabbing her Soulsword into the cement as she stood. She leaned against it and propped one hand on her hip, "That was stupid."

"Yep," Kitty agreed with an exhausted sigh, leaning against one of the grimy tunnel walls. Illyana turned to move to her girlfriend's side, only to be interrupted by—

"Rasputin!" The husky, unfamiliar female voice bellowed out from behind them and before she could stop herself, the blonde was tearing her Soulsword from the ground and swinging around to face the newest arrival. The pale green-skinned woman was in what Illyana assumed was this planet's equivalent to "civilian clothing" and had a gun pointed straight at her. Creeping in from around the tunnel entrance behind her were armed and uniformed men and women with their laser-rifles cautiously ready to fire.

"You will come with us. Both of you," she told them, awfully sure of herself. Illyana's brows drew inward, eyes narrowing. How _dare_ this woman.

"I don't think we will," she told her, though it was very much a statement rather than a tentative disagreement.

Kitty had pushed herself off of the wall and made sure she stood close enough to Illyana to grab and phase the both of them at the first sign that they might be fired upon— _again_. She was already _so_ tired of this planet.

"What she said."

"Your translators do not reflect the nuances of our language. We are not ordering you to come, we are asking," the woman assured them, slowly lowering her weapon and motioning for the soldiers behind her to do the same. Illyana was pleasantly surprised, though her unchanging expression didn't show it. They did not have the time to fight more of these people. The alien spoke again, "We are asking for your trust."

"Oy vey," Kitty sighed under her breath, before raising her voice, "How can we help?"

"Not here. You will come with us," the woman repeated, turning her body towards the soldiers behind her as they parted to show them the way.

"Not like we have much choice," Shadowcat grumbled, quiet enough so only herself and Illyana could hear. Really, it wouldn't have taken much for Illyana to open an stepping disc beneath the both of them and teleport them away before these new arrivals could anything about it, but the woman obviously had something to do with the prophesy, and the whole reason they're there in the first place is to find out as much as they can. The blonde took her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze as she reluctantly followed after the woman, Kitty beside her.

"If this is a trap, I will kill you," Magik warned, but she received nothing in way of a response. They simply led the two from the tunnels and through a bustling marketplace where several of the Breakworlders had gathered to stand and stare, having obviously heard about their uncharacteristic descent to the planet's surface.

"Kill it!" a voice suddenly screamed above the sounds of the bustling, ogling crowd. A young boy, whose size would have made him around seven or eight if they had been back on Earth, pushed through to the front, held back by their entourage but visible nonetheless. His red eyes locked with Illyana's blue ones, an unmistakable bloodlust burning in them that made even _her_ uncomfortable. She pressed her lips into a tight, thin and expressionless line as she turned her attention away, focusing instead on following the only person on this forsaken planet who had shown something other than hostility.

They walked on like that through the streets, the lines of spectators on either side of their ensemble gradually thinning until they only received a few head turns from passerbyers, despite their heavily armed, serious-looking guard. When they came to an area that was almost completely deserted, the woman who had first approached them turned back to face them.

"We must split up here," she told them, "We shall not lead anyone back with us."

"Just tell me where we need to go," Illyana told her, her voice leaving no room for argument. Like _hell_ she was going to traverse this town when every single one of them looked at her like they'd love to see her ripped apart. Alive.

Kitty was just as adamant on that stance. There was no _way_ she was going to let her and Illyana get separated, and the longer they spent in the eerie streets of Breakworld, the more her skin crawled. She could feel people watching them, and she did not like it.

"Magik can teleport all of us. Then you don't need to worry about being followed," she explained.

The woman stared at them for a moment longer, then bowed her head slightly in acknowledgement, "Yes. I will see the map you have."

Kitty reached into her uniform again, pulling out the sheet that had been wedged so securely against her abdomen, and held it out to the Breakworlder. She took it from her, examined it for a second, and turned it around to show them, her finger hovering over a spot, "We are going there."

Without another moment's hesitation, Illyana tipped her chin to the sky as her eyes began to glow a bright blue. A large stepping disc grew beneath them and in seconds, it swallowed the three of them as well as the armed guards that the woman had brought with her.

They emerged a mile or two away in the mountains, in the center of what appeared to be an infirmary of some sort.

Endless rows of hovering beds were laid out in the open space, the sick and dying wrapped in blankets and being cared for by a painfully small staff of caretakers who were dressed in long, white robes and wore very sombre expressions. In the centre of the room, a large statue cast a long shadow before them. One giant, stone hand reached up to grab the wrist of another that reached down.

Their guide seemed startled at the suddenness of the arrival, but if she felt in any way nauseous about their means of getting there like most people generally did the first time, she wasn't letting it show. Illyana and Kitty's eyes were on the primitive, hospital-like features of the space, anyway.

There were so many people laying on beds, sick and dying and in pain, and the brunette barely had it in her to go on looking, but it felt disrespectful to look away from so much suffering. Her grip on her girlfriend's hand tightened, and after a few moments they turned to the woman together.

"This is the care centre," she told them simply.

"It's appalling," Kitty gaped, unable to keep herself from glancing back over her shoulder at what was going on just behind them.

"Who are you? Why are we here?" Illyana wanted to know, forcing herself to give no mind to those around them.

"I am Aghanne. This place is the only one like it on all of Breakworld. If Powerlord Kruun knew that it existed, this entire mountain would be little more than crater. On our planet, caring and compassion are the closest things we have to sins. But I don't think it is a sin. I think it's a mutation," the woman explained, pausing to make sure the two mutants with her were still following.

When Kitty inclined her head, she continued, "I sought you out because I believe you to may be the key to our salvation."

"You don't believe in prophesy?" Shadowcat realized, her eyebrows raised, though the fact that they had not been killed in sight by this woman and her troupe should have already been enough to tell her as much.

"I didn't. And then you were here. And I thought perhaps it's not the prophesy that's wrong, but the way we have interpreted it. A world in chaos, perhaps, but not destroyed. Reformed. Reborn."

Illyana's eyebrows drew together skeptically, coming to a halt and watching after the woman as she kept walking. She knew what the Aghanne was trying to say, but this was _ridiculous_ , there was _no_ way, "I'm no messiah."

"No, you're just a mutant," the Breakworlder said, slowing down her walk until she, too, had come to a stop, "But the rest of my people will not see it that way. So many of the things that the Augurs have seen have come to pass. My people would do anything to prevent this planet from being destroyed. As you saw in the tunnels, that includes delivering your death unto you before the prophesy can be fulfilled."

"I have no plan for you. No coup. No agenda. I brought you here in the hopes that you will see that we do not need to be destroyed, that the timeshadows can be interpreted it another way. I understand that you came here with others like yourselves. We have people looking for them. But you will be safe here for tonight. Rest now, and tomorrow do as you will."

Aghanne bowed her head to dismiss them, and one of the healers came to their side, her arms gesturing for Kitty and Illyana to precede her into the building.

* * *

The room the healer guided them to was moderately sized, nothing small but nothing particularly large either. It was much more impressive than the room they'd been given on Brand's ship, that much was for sure. It had a main room with a few cushioned chairs, a metal table in the shape of a crescent with two rather uncomfortable-looking chairs situated around it, and then there was an elaborate designed of metal columns and tubing that looked like abstract art but was actually probably some sort of plumbing system or something else Illyana didn't care to know or understand. At the back of the room, red curtains separated the main room from the bedroom where they had already seen two beds situated a few feet apart, both made up and ready for the two of them.

Illyana sat at the table, a oddly-shaped bowl full of various, supposedly edible, items sitting just in front of her. In her hand, she squeezed her fingers around a fruit or vegetable of some kind, something that didn't look like anything she'd seen on Earth. Her nose was scrunched up and she looked at it like it had somehow slighted her. Without taking her eyes off of it, she called back to Kitty whose silhouette was visible through the thin red curtains, "They left food, but I don't think it's safe to eat."

"No burgers and milkshakes then?" Kitty called back to her, emerging from the bedroom a few moments later, wrapped in white material that looked to Illyana like a cross between a dressing gown and a poncho. She had pulled her hair out of its ponytail and was dragging her fingers through it, a contemplative frown on her face as she moved across the room to Illyana.

She stood behind her chair, resting one hand on her shoulder while the other reached to take a scaly-looking green piece from the bowl. She brought it up to her nose and sniffed it, "It could be worse."

"Could it?" Illyana wondered out loud before she finally got fed up with the _thing_ in her hand and tossed it back into the bowl. It hit a rounder piece and knocked it out onto the table and Illyana flinched in disgust when it rolled towards her. She poked it away with her pinky finger and drew her arms in close to her body, tucking her hands underneath her arms.

"Hey," Kitty protested weakly, putting the... fruit? in her own hand back in the bowl, a lot more carefully than her girlfriend had, and bringing both her arms up to wrap around her shoulders. She dropped a kiss into her hair then rested her head against the top of Illyana's, hugging her tightly, "At least we're not dead. And we have actual beds to sleep in. I doubt the others are so lucky."

Illyana smiled weakly and despite being deeply troubled by everything that had happened over the last few hours, she refused to show it. She lifted her hands and placed them on Kitty's arms as she leaned back and tilted her head up to look at the other woman. When Shadowcat looked down at her, Magik placed a light kiss to her lips.

Kitty wasn't fooled, but smiled down at her anyway and tucked a stray strand of blonde hair behind Illyana's ear, "How's your back? You must have landed pretty hard."

"My armor took most of the damage," Magik told her, though now that her attention was drawn to it there _was_ a dull ache radiating from her mid-back. Nothing she couldn't handle, though, "It doesn't hurt too bad."

The brunette nodded and gave a departing kiss to her girlfriend's forehead before untangling her arms from around her to sink into the chair next to her instead. "There's some water and towels in the bedroom if you wanted to wash up."

She reached across the table to take her hand, "I'm not going to let them hurt you, Yana. And I know you're not going to destroy this planet. It isn't you."

Illyana didn't say anything, only silently nodded to her lover's words, but she did squeeze her hand, another small smile tugging at her lips to let her know she was grateful for the sentiment. She brought her other hand up, closing it around Kitty's until her hand was encased by Illyana's. Shadowcat rested her other one on top, though the expression that tugged at her lips was more thoughtful, saddened by her girlfriend's pensive silence and her own inability to cheer her up.

When she slid her hands out of the blonde's, it was to reach for the fruit she had been holding before. Kitty brought it up to her face again, one finger tapping against its hard surface before she tentatively parted her lips and touched it with the tip of her tongue. It didn't taste like anything at all, and so, screwing her eyes closed against a potential inundation of _ew_ , she took a bite.

Illyana grimaced, teeth ground together, wrinkling her nose as she watched her girlfriend in horror and complete disgust.

In actuality, the taste wasn't that bad. After hesitantly letting the piece she bit off touch her tongue, Kitty discovered that it kind of tasted like... crunchy bread? She opened her eyes, saw the expression on the blonde's face, and almost gagged on her own laughter, however. She forced herself to swallow before she spoke, "Don't look at me like that!"

"Like what?" Illyana asked in all seriousness, but the facade soon cracked and a grin shined through instead, "Like you're out of your mind?"

"That would explain why I'm with you, wouldn't it?" Kitty mused teasingly, her gaze dropping to the fruit in her hand in an effort to hide her own smile. She went in for another bite, taking a larger, bolder one this time. Illyana propped her elbow up onto the table, letting her cheek fall into her hand as she smiled and shook her head at Shadowcat.

"Don't come crying to me when that makes you sick," she told her, though the twinge at the corner of her lips was enough to say she wasn't at all serious in the statement.

"You should have some," Kitty told her after chewing and swallowing the bite. She held the fruit out to her girlfriend, wiggling it temptingly in her face. Illyana leaned back as far away from it as she could, laughing all the while.

"No thank you," she said, waving it away.

"You have to eat something," the brunette sang, only stretching her arm out further after her.

Illyana pushed her feet against the leg of the table and used the leverage to push her chair back, the front legs coming off the ground slightly to lean herself farther away, "It won't be that."

"What else is there?" Kitty asked her with a dubious frown, bringing the food back to her own mouth to take yet another bite. This time she pulled a face that also saw her dropping it onto the table. It rolled off onto the floor, but with the taste in her mouth and a determination not to spit out what she had bitten off, Shadowcat did not care. She wasn't sure what had caused the taste to change to abruptly, but it was bitter and sour and she grimaced as she swallowed it.

She brought her fist up to her mouth and squeezed her eyes closed, then coughed a few times. Her voice was rough when she finally found it, like there was something stuck in her throat, "I take it back."

Illyana's laughter was so loud and intense that her abdomen was already hurting after just a few seconds. She tipped her head back, eyes closed tightly so to stop them from watering and therein lied her mistake. Not paying attention, she stretched her leg out and pushed harder against the leg of the table, causing her chair to tip back too far and before she could stop it she was on the floor with a loud _clang_. The impact knocked the air from her lungs and shocked the laughter into silence, but the split second she realized what had happened, she was laughing all over again, borderline _cackling_.

Before she had a chance to completely consider what she was doing, Kitty had picked up another piece of fruit from the bowl and pelted it at the blonde on the floor. It hit her in the stomach, drawing an " _oof_ '" from her lips that only paused her laughter long enough for her to cover the slightly sore area with her hand.

"Illyana Rasputin!" Kitty cried, her voice shrill with exasperation as she beheld her lover. Abruptly, she stood from her chair to grab up the first piece of fruit she had bitten into and dropped it back into the bowl on the table quite a but more aggressively than necessary. She wasn't genuinely angry, of course, but if pretending was going to keep Illyana laughing, she did not mind.

"I told you," Illyana managed, rolling her body away from the chair and climbing up onto her knees so she could peer over the table's surface at the older mutant. The tears her uncontrollable laughter formed were burning her eyes, but the need to laugh, to _enjoy herself_ after everything, was too overwhelming for her to bother even wiping them away.

"It is so not funny!" Kitty insisted, moving around the table to pick up the other piece of fruit that she had thrown, "And it isn't my fault that it suddenly turned bad."

"It's very funny," Illyana argued, using the table to pull herself to her feet. She bit down on her bottom lip, finally trying to silence herself as she held her arms out to the brunette, quietly urging her for a hug.

Shadowcat continued to scowl at her for only a second longer, before her own face was breaking out into a smile. Rolling her eyes at herself and at Magik, she stepped into her embrace and wrapped her arms around the blonde's shoulders, squeezing her tightly. Illyana's arms snaked around Kitty's waist and she pulled her in closely, burying her face in her brown locks. When she spoke, her voice was muffled against her hair, "I love you, Katya. Even if you eat nasty alien fruit."

When Kitty grinned at that, the other girl could feel it against the front of her shoulder, "Don't come crying to me when you're starving to death."

"I would eat my own boot first," the blonde assured her, hugging her tightly and twisting her hips side to side, making them sway together.

When Kitty suddenly pulled back just far enough to be able to look up at her girlfriend, her expression was suddenly skeptical, "Why can't you just magick us up some food?"

"You didn't ask," Illyana grinned, then soon enough she was cocking an eyebrow, "And I'm not sure how safe it would be to eat, either."

"So you can't do burgers and milkshakes?" the brunette pouted, sticking out her lower lip and making puppy eyes at Magik. Illyana leaned down and caught the lip between her own in a lingering kiss. When she pulled away, she raked her teeth over it and smiled against Kitty's mouth.

"No, but that's the first place we go when we get home," she finally said.

"I know, I know. And it's just as well." Kitty grinned up at her before pushing up on her tip-toes to snag another kiss. She deepened it immediately, the gesture conveying just how anxious she actually was about being separated from the rest of their team, about supposedly being at the mercy of some prophesy that she _knew_ was hurting the love of her life. It wasn't very often that she let it those insecurities show, for the reason that she had an image to maintain, that she didn't want to be babied by the others, but sometimes her determination was exhausted along with her body and she just needed a hug.

And she wasn't the only one, though Illyana would never admit it out loud either. Her gesture before had been playful, but the desire feel Kitty's body against hers, to feel their closeness _physically_ , had been there then just as it was now. While one arm remained snug around Shadowcat's waist, she raised the other to her cheek where she cupped it and let her fingers press into the skin behind the brunette's ear.

They remained like that for a good few moments, breathing in each other's air along with each other's courage, before Kitty pulled away with a tiny smile on her face and looked into those familiar, gorgeous blue eyes, "I love you too, by the way."

Illyana smiled, leaning her forehead down against the other woman's and drawing in a long breath through her nose, "I should wash up."

"Ooooooooor," Shadowcat grinned, her hands dropping to the blonde's waist to pull her tighter against her own body, "You could not."

"Oh?" Illyana's voice inflected upward, a grin of her own forming over her lips.

"You should probably definitely save the washing up for later," the other girl gave her a firm nod, a smirk crawling over her face at the same time as a blush colored her cheeks, "You know, for when you're dirtier..."

" _Katya_ ," Illyana playfully chastised her, but even she couldn't keep up that charade. The corner of her mouth lifted slightly to mirror Kitty's expression and she let her fingers trail ever-so-lightly down the back of the brunette's neck, "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to put it off..."

"Nope," Kitty agreed, her lips popping around the word, her smile completely consuming her face, "It would not hurt at all."

Illyana took a step forward, making sure Kitty stepped back at the same time so they wouldn't trip over each other as she guided them through the gap in the thin red curtains that separated the main room from their bedroom. She didn't stop until they crossed through, and then her lips were parting to grin down at her lover.

The gown-like thing Kitty had been wearing dropped off her body and pooled on the floor around her feet, and without giving her girlfriend a chance to comment, she took her chin in one hand and guided her head down so she could kiss her again. Illyana hummed her approval against Shadowcat's lips as she reached behind her own back with both arms and pulled the curtains closed behind them.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Although they didn't get any sleep, Illyana and Kitty set out to meet up with the others. Given that it doesn't seem like the Breakworlders are likely to change their mind about the prophesy, the X-Men come up with a new plan to save Earth from the missile that is pointed at it.

### Previously, in Astonishing X-Men...

> When Agent Brand and the X-Men jettisoned from S.W.O.R.D.’s spacecraft, it was Armor, Shadowcat, Wolverine and Magik in one capsule while Emma, Cyclops, Beast and Brand took the other. While the first broke up mid flight and sent Hisako and Logan and Kitty and Illyana in separate directions, the other four crash landed in the sea. Scott, Hank, Emma and Brand made their way to their objective, the Palace of the Corpse, and were soon joined by Logan and Hisako. There, on the walls of the tomb, they discovered a vast mural, literally carved into stone, that depicted Magik destroying the planet. Completely covered in her Eldritch armor,  Illyana seemed to be crushing Breakworld in one hand while holding the sun next to it in the other. Disheartened and doubting their original plan to try and convince the Breakworlders that Illyana _wouldn’t_ be the death of them, they attempted to analyse the carving, but could only conclude that it was very, very old.
> 
> The six of them decided to split up again: Scott and Emma to meet up with Brand’s men, Logan and Hisako to search for Kitty and Illyana, and Brand and Hank to see what else they could find out about the missile. Emma and Cyclops were attacked by Danger on their way to Brand’s men, but the AI was unable to kill them in order to deliver them back to Kruun, and instead was forced to make a deal with the X-Men. Meanwhile, Brand and Hank were trapped in a purposefully designed snow-storm, that also wiped out hundreds of Breakworld civilians, so they could be prevented from reaching the sub-moon base. While trapped under the ice in a makeshift shelter, Brand’s device returned information to them about the exact nature of the prophesy, revealing that Kruun’s thronehouse sits on a sanctum, within which an enchanted sphere full of destructive magickal energy powers all of Breakworld, and is only prevented from obliterating the planet by the mystical core that holds the enchantment together and contains the energy inside. Only someone with the ability to break or negate magick would be able to get inside the sphere, and Illyana’s Soulsword is the only known weapon in the universe that can destroy the core. Rather than a prophesy however, this information was  found to be a _plan_ for if the annihilation of Breakworld was ever deemed necessary.

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The sound that left Illyana's mouth as her arms relaxed around Kitty's back and her fingers slid down her damp skin was a mix between a breathy laugh and a contented sigh. Her bangs stuck to her forehead and her body was coated in a sheet of sweat that glistened in the dim light given off by the lamp by their bedside. Her breath was heavy, her chest heaving and she could still feel the aftershocks of her third—fourth? She'd lost count—climax of the night pulsing through her body as she laid beneath her lover. She tipped her head back and closed her eyes with a soft, pleasured groan as Kitty's hand slid out from between them and she instead pressed both her forearms into the mattress on either side of Illyana's head. Shadowcat lowered her face to touch their noses together, a smile dancing over her lips.

"We really do have no self-control," she giggled. Illyana let out a soft chuckle and she grinned up at the older woman.

"Who cares?" she asked, tilting her chin up to steal a quick kiss, "I like it."

"Mmm, me too," Kitty smiled down at her, dropping her face to her girlfriend's neck to nuzzle at the heated, borderline-bruised flesh that she had been taking great pleasure in licking, biting and sucking at all night. Now, she parted her lips to kiss it, "We should sleep."

"Keep kissing me there and we won't be," Illyana teased, lightly dragging her nails up and down Kitty's naked back.

The brunette smirked, her tongue poking out from between her lips to trace a tiny, abstract pattern on Illyana's skin for a few seconds. She leaned her forehead against Magik's collarbone and carefully eased her body off of the blonde's and onto the mattress beside her instead, but before she could settle in, Illyana rolled on top of her. She scooted down her body until she was able to lay her head against Shadowcat's chest and her arms laid parallel to her sides. One of the other girl's arms went around her shoulders to squeeze her against her while the other dragged the blankets back up around their quickly-cooling bodies.

Only then did Kitty relax back into the pillows and let her eyes flutter closed, succumbing to the exhaustion that had made itself known.

"I hope the others are okay," she murmured suddenly, a slight frown creasing her forehead. It wasn't that she had forgotten about them or their mission before, per se, but now that she wasn't otherwise distracted the anxiety that their previous activities had been warding off set in.

"I'm sure they're fine," Illyana assured her, nuzzling her face against her, "This isn't the worst thing that's ever happened to them. Or us."

"No," Kitty agreed, then stifled a yawn behind her hand, "We'll go find them after we get some rest, tell them what we found out, make a new plan..."

"Mmm," Illyana tiredly hummed her approval against the brunette's chest, her slow and steady breath giving away that she was gradually slipping from the consciousness she'd been holding on to for way too long. The sentiment resonated with Kitty as well, and the more she thought about what they had to do when they awoke, the more tired she got.

"Katya?" Illyana spoke up again unexpectedly as she gently wedged her hands between Kitty's body and the mattress beneath her, pressing her splayed fingers against her back. Without lifting it up, she turned her head to look at her girlfriend.

"Yeah?" Shadowcat whispered back at her as she forced her eyes open once more.

"Do you think I'm capable of what their psychics claim?" she wondered, blue eyes searching Kitty's for an answer she wasn't so sure of herself.

Kitty's reply came only a split second later, "No. You have no reason to destroy Breakworld. And you would find another way even if you _did._ "

Illyana's lips twitched up into a smile and she turned her head to nuzzle it back against the brunette's chest. If there was ever anyone she had trusted besides herself, it was and always would be Kitty. It was Kitty that had never let her down—well, except that one time, but she wouldn't call running away to London a _let down_ , per se—and it was Kitty who had always been by her side when no one else would be. If Kitty didn't think she was capable, then maybe she wasn't. Maybe Breakworld's augurs _were_ mistaken. After all, she'd been destined to become Belasco's vessel for the Elder Gods' gateway to Earth and _that_ had turned out to be a major bust. Maybe _this_ would be, too. It had to be.

"Thank you," she murmured against Kitty's bosom, her smile pressed against the older woman's warm skin.

"No problem," the other girl smiled down at her, never mind the fact that Illyana couldn't see the expression. She lifted one hand to the back of her head, her fingers absentmindedly stroking through her hair.

"Good night, Katya," Illyana squeezed their bodies together for a brief moment, then she relaxed against her and let out a soft, tired sigh.

"Night, Yana. Love you," Kitty breathed.

"I love you too."

The two of them were only just drifting off when the curtains separating the bedroom from the main room were jerked aside. An alien head poked through the gap, smiling as if she hadn't just totally invaded their privacy.

"Aghanne says you're to leave at first light. Our scouts have made contact with your friend Logan. You have about one Earth hour if you wish to engage in coitus again," she told them briefly, ducking her head back out as soon as she had finished reciting her message.

Kitty stared after her, her mouth agape, though she wasn't sure if her incredulity was aimed more at the fact that they only had an _hour_ to sleep, or that their alien hostess had known what they had been up to. Illyana, however, had a much simpler method of dealing with it. She buried her face between Kitty's breasts and let out a exaggerated groan that vibrated against her chest and turned into a muffled laugh before it could even end.

Kitty gave her shoulder a half-hearted shove, adding in an exasperated moan of her own and bringing her hands up to cover her face. Did they even bother trying to get to sleep now? And _God_ , how had they _known?_

"I don't want to think about it, I don't want to think about it," she chanted into her palms, ignoring the blonde who was quivering with laughter on top of her,"I just want to sleep."

Illyana propped herself up with her forearms on either side of Kitty's body and grinned down at her, "I'd say we should be quieter next time, but I don't like it when you're quiet."

Kitty just groaned again, the sound turning into a shaking, almost-sob. Yet, when she pulled her hands away from her face, Illyana could see the smirk etched onto her features as well. She tsked her playfully, "Yana..."

Illyana bit down on her bottom lip to conceal her devilish grin, ducking her head to Kitty's neck and dropping a line of kisses down to her collarbone.

"Noooo," Shadowcat whined, lazily trying to tug her girlfriend's face up by her hair, "We should _sleep_."

"You want to sleep," Illyana spoke slowly, as if to clarify what she was being told, "for an hour."

" _Yes,_ " was the definitive answer that Kitty gave her, "You were tired too just a second ago."

"If I sleep now, I'll be more tired when I get up than I was when I fell asleep," the blonde pointed out, entirely sure of herself.

The other mutant rolled her eyes at that, unconvinced. Her body felt so tired that one hour of sleep surely couldn't _hurt_ any. "Fine," she told Magik, "You have permission to do whatever you want to me for an hour, as long as you don't wake me up."

"Nah," the blonde shrugged, rolling off of the other mutant and entangling herself in the sheets in the process. She wiggled free with a little more effort than she would have liked to put forth, and laid on her back.

Too exhausted to be offended, Kitty rolled after her until she was on her side facing the blonde with one arm tucked under her head and the blankets pulled up to cover her chest. Just like that, they dozed for the next forty or so minutes, each swimming at the edge of consciousness, not wholly awake, but too cautious of the time constraints on them to lose themselves in sleep, either. As their room got lighter and lighter with the approach of sunrise, they gave up completely.

Yawning constantly and moving so slowly that it was like they had just had their first intense work out in months, they dressed in their uniforms, vainly tried to untangle the knots in their hair so they looked somewhat presentable, and left the room.

Aghanne had been waiting exactly where they had left her the night before, like she hadn't even moved at all, and yet if that was the case she still managed to look a lot more put together than either of the X-Men she had adopted for the evening. Apparently Logan had been asking after them and getting himself and Hisako into trouble in the marketplace where they had crash landed the day before, but rather than let Aghanne and her guards escort the two of them to their teammates, Kitty and Illyana told them that they had their own means of reaching their team.

Aghanne seemed displeased by that, like she could sense that they wouldn't be coming back. Illyana thought it likely that she had overheard she and Kitty briefly talking about the prophesy in the early hours of the morning, and how they weren't going to let it come to pass, and was disgruntled that there would be no rebirth for her people. The blonde did not much care for her feelings on the matter, however, and after Kitty had thanked them for their hospitality, they promptly sunk down into one of Magik's stepping discs.

They emerged in a clearing in the middle of a forest, the dark outlines of branches and leaves above their heads in perfect contrast the the orange skies of sunrise beyond them. If they hadn't been on a mission, the girls may have stopped to muse over the fact that it looked exactly like it would on Earth. Well, expect for the huge, metal bug-like structure that towered over them and cast Emma, Scott, Danger and Brand's men into shadow.

Initially, those same men went to raise their guns, only to be halted by the arm Cyclops threw out in front of the weapons. Before Illyana or Kitty were able to speak a word, they found Lockheed hurtling towards them at full speed. He pushed his way into the brunette's arms.

"Hey, little guy," Kitty smiled affectionately down at him, stroking her fingers over his scaly head when he pushed it impetuously under her hand, "I didn't know you had come with us. Where have you _been_?"

Illyana reached over to rub her hand along the dragon's back as Emma stepped forward and away from Scott and the group of Brand's soldiers. Her glacial eyes narrowed at the pair, "Where have _you_ been?"

"We met someone who thinks there's a different way to interpret the prophesy," Kitty briefly explained, releasing Lockheed so he could crawl up onto her shoulder, "Where are the others?"

"Logan and Hisako went looking for you two," Scott moved around to Emma's side, "Hank and Agent Brand went searching for more information about the missile."

Kitty and Illyana shared a brief glance between one another and the latter gave the rest of them a tiny apologetic grin, "Oops."

"We can go get Logan and Hisako," the brunette offered, "Hank and Brand as well. I don't think this is going to go as planned. From what we've seen and heard, everyone is pretty set on Illyana destroying them."

"I think you're right," Scott frowned, "It's best that we regroup, then. Get Logan and Hisako, then we'll all go to Hank and Brand. Maybe they've found something we can use to shut this thing down."

* * *

"And that's all we know," Hank concluded his and Brand's explanation of their findings, his eyes lowered to the spectacles he was cleaning on a scrap of cloth in his lap.

Seeing as Hank and Brand had been wading through knee-deep, freezing cold snow where they had been, Illyana had returned them all to the makeshift camp that Brand's men had constructed, the six of them sitting in a loose circle on logs and on the hard-packed ground. Scott had a stick in his hand and the patch of dirt before him had been brushed smooth and cleared of twigs and stones, but as of yet he had no plans to scrawl into it. Emma looked bored, while Illyana and Kitty each dug into a tin of food that the S.W.O.R.D. agents had brought to them, the latter handfeeding chunks of the stuff to Lockheed while Brand glowered at them.

Hisako looked like she was on the verge of falling asleep, though was putting a lot of effort into paying attention to the proceedings. Illyana had fixed Logan's costume so it no longer hung off his body in crisp, blackened strands —apparently he had suffered from some serious burns upon his entry into the atmosphere with Armor— and Brand looked anything but amused about their first plan having been derailed.

"We also found a ship," Brand said, "With a little work we can probably get it working."

"And go where?" Logan snorted, "This whole stinkin' planet is out to get the little hellion and there ain't nothing we can do to change their minds."

"We can go disable the missile like we originally planned," Kitty suggested from the ground at Illyana's feet, finally straightening from being doubled over her food to lean back against the blonde's knees instead.

"So we disable it, go home, and let them build another one," Brand sighed, her arms folded over her thighs and her head hanging down towards them, "We would be safer to let our little sorceress here just take out the entire planet and be done with it."

"How _dare_ you?" Illyana spoke up, eyes narrowed dangerously at the green-haired woman. She leaned forward, ready to tell her _exactly_ what she thought about that when Scott held his hand out and motioned for her to stop. She begrudgingly relented.

"She has a point," he said, but the look that flashed on Kitty and Illyana's faces had him quickly adding, "Hear me out."

Despite the looks they were all giving him, everyone remained silent. He took that as his cue to keep going, "If they think Illyana's going to destroy their planet, we can use that as a bargaining chip to get them to call off the missile. They call it off, Illyana doesn't destroy anything. They refuse, we take it as far as we can until they give in."

"And if they _don't_?" Brand took the words right out of Illyana's mouth, "I don't think you understand how these people work."

"After we get Kruun, half of us will take him to the sanctum and the other half will go to the missile to try and disable it on our own. We'll work this from both angles," he explained.

"We don't even have to take a ship, Illyana could just port us there. That way they won't see us coming and send a horde of soldiers after us," Kitty told them, gaining nods of agreement from the rest of them, "Do we know where Kruun _is_?"

"Not—" Scott started, but Illyana quickly interrupted.

"I can find him," she said, placing her hands on Kitty's shoulders and giving them a gentle squeeze, "But there's a catch."

"What a surprise," Emma sighed exasperatedly, massaging her temple with her gloved thumb. Kitty's effort to keep herself from laughing was wasted when a snort managed to escape her nose. Illyana grinned.

"What is it?" Scott ignored them in favor of speeding things up. No one knew how much time they had left, and he wasn't willing to chance it.

"We have to go to Limbo."

* * *

The smell of sulfur and brimstone and molten lava wasn't one that was easy to get used to, especially not to those who had been wholly submerged in it for the first time that wasn't just in passing. For Kitty, it wasn't new. She'd been to Limbo before, and while the stench still burned into her nostrils and in the back of her throat, she was the only one of them besides Illyana that hadn't come in gagging.

Magik had taken them to her reinforced citadel built on the highest peak in Limbo. Outside, hordes of rogue demons revolted against the ones who were loyal to her, and while she was mildly concerned about the current state of her demonic realm, she didn't have time to deal with it now.

Inside, however, was much calmer. Gray stone walls encased them in a rather large room that was very obviously a throne room of sorts. Bones of unidentified people—and demons—lay haphazardly along the floor and the walls were lined with torches that burned a sickly green. At the front, a small set of stairs lead up to a massive throne made of stone and metal which was contorted into a design that was reminiscent of the one made up by the shoulders and helmet of Illyana's Eldritch armor.

Illyana didn't wait for her teammates and tagalongs to compose themselves, crossing the room and climbing the steps to the chair fit for a ruler. Kitty followed after her, with Lockheed on her shoulder, settling off to the side of it while Illyana sat down. Magik's eyes lit up brightly with that familiar bluish-white and she raised her hands out in front of her. She swiped them away from one another like parting invisible curtains, and a trail of shining runes followed them. But within seconds, those runes twisted and rearranged themselves until they formed a crude rectangle in front of Illyana. They solidified into what could best be described as a mystical, crystalline mirror—except instead of showing her reflection, it was showing the forest where they had teleported in from.

While she performed her magick, the other X-Men and Brand stood exactly where she had left them, clustered a little too closely for it to be natural, and silently observing their surroundings with similar expressions of disgust and awe, and as if they expected to have to defend themselves at a moment's notice. Well, they weren't _exactly_ silent. Beside Wolverine and now a little separate from the rest of them, Hisako was doubled over, retching.

"Well this is just _charming_ , now isn't it?" Emma said, purposely diverting her eyes away from the puking teenager, her hand placed firmly beneath her nose in an attempt to block out Limbo's disgusting smells.

"Now would be a great time for one of your illusions, Frost," Brand muttered under the breath she was trying to hold.

Logan grumbled, "The last thing we need is for Frost to go Cassandra Nova on us again."

Emma shot him an icy glare but before she could mouth off, Brand was talking again, "You guys really don't know how to let things go."

Wolverine only growled and turned away from them, absentmindedly patting Hisako's back as she straightened and wiped her mouth on the end of her sleeve.

"I found him," Illyana called out to them, forcing all of their attention to her as she gazed into her scrying crystal. Clearly reflected in it was the nasty, ugly whiskered face of the Powerlord. She smirked, "He's in his throne room, making this way too easy for us."

"At the risk of causing offense, could we please leave now?" Hank asked, his voice raw and sounding like he was trying very hard not to breathe.

The crystal shattered in front of Magik, but instead of the pieces raining to the ground they disappeared as though they never existed in the first place. She rose from her seat and made her way down the steps with Kitty and Lockheed in tow.

"You're all a bunch of babies," she made sure to rub that one in as she rejoined them in their huddle.

"Yep," Kitty agreed with an obnoxious grin. Illyana summoned her Soulsword into her grasp and as soon as her fingers were tightened around the hilt, a stepping disc whisked them away once again.

* * *

Elsewhere, back on the mountain where Aghanne had first brought Illyana and Kitty, the healer looked down upon the valley below, lost in her own head. Familiar thoughts swum through her mind.

What was the point of Breakworld if all they did was kill one another? What was the point of her healing center if, as soon as those healed were mended, they would be attacked again on the streets? What was the use of a mutation such as compassion if it didn't render those mutated a better chance at survival? What was the use of compassion if it painted a target on her back and the backs of her people? How could Breakworld go on if its ruler was so impervious to progress, and so willing to stomp it out?

She had thought the X-Men would understand her plight, but if the conversation that Dafi had overheard was any indication, she had been mistaken. The sorceress did not wish to be their salvation, nor their destruction.

One of her people had found Magik and her teammates gathered in the forest none too far from her mountain, had eavesdropped of their plans, and relayed them to her. They were intending to go directly to Kruun, to try and bargain with him into disabling the retaliator in exchange for leaving Breakworld to stagnate in peace.

 _Ha._ As if there could be any peace for Breakworld, not that Kruun would even allow their plan to come into fruition, anyway.

 _But_ , if Magik was to go into the sanctum and threaten to destroy the magickal core, then perhaps she could push her into making that less of a threat and more of a reality.

* Sweetheart - Translated from Russian


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The X-Men try to convince Powerlord Kruun to disable the missile he has pointed at Earth, but things do not go as planned. While half of the X-Men descend into the sanctum, the other half go to the moonbase to attempt to disable it themselves.

> **Author's Note:** Thanks again to everyone who is reading Soulbound! We'd love to hear more about what you guys think of the story so far, so leave us a comment below!

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High above his city, Powerlord Kruun was fuming, having just been informed that Illyana and one of her teammates had been seen with Aghanne. _That witch._ And on top of _that_ , Danger had failed to return to him an X-Man from which he could extract information — and whose corpse he could then do with as he wished.

The more he seethed over what was going _wrong_ , the angrier he got, until suddenly the table in front of him was being hurled through the window. The glass offered no resistance to the wayward piece of furniture, shattering on impact and cascading down with it to the crowded streets far, far below. The cries of the weak gave Kruun only mild relief from his fury, but whatever miniscule amount of good that had done was completely _un_ done when the X-Men arrived.

They emerged from a flash of bluish-white light, and his momentary mortification quickly dissolved into rage at the sight of them standing before him in their horrifically-colored uniforms. He wished he had something else to throw, but short of standing to lob his chair at them, he refrained.

"How _dare_ you breach my—" He spat, only to be interrupted by Emma who was very much tired and very much done with this entire situation.

"Please, let's not start this dreadful exchange and instead get straight to the point, shall we?" she said, completely unfazed by the look of offense that burned into Kruun's face at being interrupted. Emma did not care in the slightest, "It's quite simple, really. You have two choices. You disable the missile you have pointed at Earth or our charming little she-devil destroys this poor excuse for a planet."

"What say you, Powerlord?" Brand followed up, arms crossed over her chest. Illyana had the point of her Soulsword pressed into the ground, the otherwordly metal chipping away at Breakworld's equivalent of cement.

Kruun only laughed, a low chuckle that started in the base of his throat and, as he found more and more reason to be amused by their proposition, saw spittle flying across the space between him and the X-Men. They were fortunate enough to not be standing so close as to be bathed in it. When he finally calmed down, he was still smirking maniacally at Brand, "You think I would bargain with you? Again? We had a deal. We provided you with a mutant cure in exchange for Earth's survival. Instead, you brought to this planet the one who would destroy it."

"I can trust you about as far as I can throw you, Kruun. You have a _missile_ pointed at Earth and you expect me to put its safety in the hands of "good faith"?" Brand shot right back.

"I think the girl bein' here should be enough to tell you to do what we say, bub," Logan said, inclining his head towards Illyana who, despite her inner unease, was wearing a cold and unnerving expression. It only became more disconcerting when it lifted into a dark smile, like she was _daring_ the Powerlord to make the wrong choice, like she was trying to show just how serious the situation was for him.

This time, Kruun shrugged, "The Retaliator will fire as scheduled."

" _Seriously_?" Kitty exclaimed incredulously, "We're going to destroy your planet! This is your chance to save it and you're just going to... to let us destroy it?! Just stop the missile! How hard can it be? You're the boss around here, aren't you? Just tell them to stop, we go home and everyone on Breakworld gets to _live_."

"You X-Men are weak. You would not destroy Breakworld, even if doing so saved your home," Kruun snorted.

"We got incoming. Sounds like a storm," Logan noted, his head tilted just slightly towards the door, where his and Hank's enhances senses were both picking up running footsteps. Illyana paid them no mind and instead broke away from the group, the hilt of her blade gripped tightly in her hand. This time, it was hard for even her team to figure out whether or not the dangerous look in her eyes was still an act.

"I conquered hell as a child and rule it to this day," she told him, her calm voice laced with anger that grew by the second, "and you think I'm too weak to destroy your world?"

She didn't give him a chance to respond before the ground beneath herself, the X-Men, and Kruun was burning with the same bluish-white light they'd come in on, "You are mistaken."

The Powerlord tried to move out of the way, but his attempts were in vain, and the nine of them descended into the stepping disc.

When they rose again, they were inside a large, metal-lined chamber that fell away for thousands and thousands of miles below their feet, and rose for a thousand more above their heads. Random spokes of metal jutted out from the walls, bridging the gap between one side and the next. It made it look as if they were standing inside a building site, with framework that had been abandoned long, long ago, never to be returned to. And in the middle of that framework, just below where they were standing, shined a blue sun.

The orb, roughly the side of a house, burned so brightly that none of the X-Men could look at it directly. They could gaze at it for only a few seconds, and only between their fingers, before they had to look away, dark spots burning in their vision. But what they managed to see was disturbing enough. Runes crawled across the orb's surface, dark magenta markings that only Illyana knew the meaning of.

They were in the sanctum that Brand had told them about. They were looking at the enchanted sphere, the very thing that contained the magickal energy responsible for powering the Breakworld, the thing that kept it from wiping the planet out all together.

Rather than see that come to pass, Kruun took advantage of his adversary's momentary lapse in attention, and shoved Illyana off the edge of the bridge they stood on. Her startled cry was cut short when she summoned a stepping disc beneath her body, fell through it, and landed hard on her back against the grated metal platform she'd been shoved from.

She let out a snarl that barely sounded human as she propelled herself to her feet, Soulsword ready to strike. What she wouldn't have done to feel her blade pierce through his body—but Logan took that satisfaction away from her. With a _snikt_ of his claws, he dove at Kruun and stabbed him through the shoulders. The Powerlord growled in pain and Wolverine shoved his body up against the wall directly behind him. He ripped his claws out and wasted no time in bending parts of the metal structure into a makeshift cocoon to hold Kruun in place.

Scott approached him while Illyana retreated back to the others. Specifically, Kitty. Logan stayed at Scott's side.

"It's very simple, Kruun," the leader of the X-Men began, ever the diplomat, "Our world for yours."

"You have no idea what you've done," was all Kruun had to offer them. Scott didn't relent.

"We haven't done anything _yet_. Disable the missile and it'll stay that way. We leave and you're the hero that saved Breakworld," he pressed.

"The Retaliator will fire as scheduled," the Powerlord was just as unwilling to back down, "There is nothing you can do."

"Are you _trying_ to wipe out your world?" The question was rhetorical, and Cyclops turned back to his team rather than wait for a response from Kruun.

"Magik, I need you to take Beast, Shadowcat, Wolverine and Armor to the moon base where the Retaliator is. Go pick up Danger as well."

Illyana grimaced, sending a quick glance to Kitty before she gave a firm nod to Scott. In the next few moments, she teleported the chosen few out of the sanctum and back into Limbo. She left them there only for a second or two, long enough for her to pop in in front of Danger—who was still back in the forest with Brand's men—shove a booted foot into her metallic chest, kick her into a stepping disc directly behind her, and dive in after her. As soon as they were back in Limbo, Illyana was carrying them all through yet _another_ portal to the moon base that housed the missile.

The surface of the base was swarming with Breakworlders who immediately opened fire.

"For fuck's sake," Illyana hissed, deflecting the oncoming lasers with her Soulsword. She couldn't just leave them here like this. Baring her teeth, Magik opened countless individual-sized portals beneath each Breakworlder's feet, dropping them into Limbo without a second thought. They closed immediately after, sealing the aliens to their fate.

The fight abruptly over before it had even begun, the other X-Men straightened from the defensive stances they had taken, a little disappointed.

"Uhh, now what?" Kitty asked. She squinted across the vast plane that stretched out before them. It was made completely of metal, with regular dips in the plating that housed miles and miles of pipes, all running in parallel lines away from them.

"Get to the missile," Illyana told her, turning her back to the others in favor of facing her lover. She gave a playful grin, "I have a world to pretend to destroy."

Kitty smiled back at her, but resisted the urge to reach out to touch the blonde, "Don't pretend too well."

This time, she _did_ lean in to kiss her cheek, "I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Dasvidaniya," Illyana gave the brunette a wink and in a blue-white flash, she was gone as quick as she'd brought them there.

Her stepping disc closed behind her, and Kitty turned her back on it. Hank and Danger were already crouched down next to one of the pipes, Hisako and Logan standing guard over them. She joined the four of them and saw that Danger had a tiny little computer screen wired up to circuitry that lined the inside of the fissure.

"This is so primitive. I am unable to access the missile. It is not networked, I cannot override the detonation," the A.I. was explaining. Hank was rubbing his furry chin and staring at the device in Danger's hand like it was merely one slightly complicated math problem he didn't know which way to approach yet.

Logan grabbed their attention, "Anyone wanna know about the army heading our way? It's a colorful story..."

Kitty turned around, caught sight of the twenty-or-so spacecraft angled towards them, and grit her teeth.

"Shit. Okay. I'm going in. You guys keep working it from the outside, I'll see if I can disable anything from the _inside_ ," she told the rest of them as she climbed to her feet. She stepped a few paces away from them, so she would have a clear run, and sprinted along the ground in the direction where they could see the head of the missile jutting out from the base. At the end of her run up, she dove directly into the floor.

* * *

When Illyana popped back into the sanctum, the first thing she noticed was that a familiar face had joined them. Among her teammates and Brand, locked in a conversation with the restrained Powerlord, was Aghanne.

"This is the fault of your madness. You should have died on the field of honor," Kruun spat at her while she only stared him down.

"I did, Powerlord. Believe me," she told him, a twinge of what might have been sadness or regret in her voice.

"It's not too late to restore your good name, to be a champion of our people," Kruun tried, although Aghanne's attention was already shifting from him to the newly-arrived Illyana.

"How quickly the negotiations come when your vaunted strength is gone," she almost laughed at his nerve and his growing desperation, "I can't help you now, Powerlord. If you're going to beg, start with the most powerful sorceress this world has ever seen."

"Now that the 'woman of the hour' has finally graced us with her presence, let's go over this one more time, shall we?" Emma, with Brand, Scott and Aghanne in tow, moved to the side of the bridge where Illyana joined them. They all gazed over the metal railing to the churning orb below them, "Illyana disrupts the enchantments on the sphere, walks in, shatters the core...and that's that?"

Illyana turned to look at them, an expression torn somewhere between troubled and amazed on her young features. When she spoke, it was primarily to Scott and Emma because she knew they would understand more than Aghanne would, "There is enough magickal energy in there to destroy a significant portion of _Limbo_. If I break it, that energy unleashes..."

"And destroys the planet," Scott finished and looked over Illyana's shoulder to Aghanne. The woman nodded.

"That is correct."

"Simple enough," Emma turned away from the rail to look at Scott and Illyana, then Aghanne, "How long once the core is broken before the planet is destroyed?"

"Instantaneous," Illyana spoke before Aghanne could respond first. The Breakworlder showed no objection to her estimate. The blonde grimaced. She didn't like the sound of any of this. Not that she actually _planned_ to go through with this, but why would the Breakworlders let their planet rely on such an unstable energy source?

"It's a bloody good thing you can teleport then, isn't it?" Emma spoke, though there was a note in her voice that suggested her own unease. No one said anything.

Brand turned back to face Kruun and the others followed suite, awaiting the final verdict as the agent of S.W.O.R.D. extended the hand of compromise one last time, "Last chance, Kruun. What's it going to be?"

The Powerlord said nothing. He glared at the X-Men, the S.W.O.R.D. agent and the Breakworlder that would betray her own planet. He glared as if his gaze was powerful enough to erase them all from existence.

Scott turned to Illyana, giving her a slow, single nod of his head, the only indication that it was time to put their plan into play. Without a second's hesitation, Illyana teleported down to the bridge just below them, a walkway that would lead her directly into the sphere.

Standing right in front of the churning orb of pure magickal energy, Illyana was dwarfed by its size. She stared up at it for a moment in awe, taking in how beautiful it might have been if it wasn't the equivalent of a mystical time bomb.

Magik raised her Soulsword and brought the end of the hilt to her chest as she used both hands to shove the blade through the sphere's wall. It seemed to warp and mutate around it, the sword disrupting the enchantments without actually _breaking_ them—not that it would have been a problem if she had. From what she understood, the enchantments were just to contain it within a sphere, it was the core that truly held the magickal energy together and kept it from destroying the planet.

She stepped into the sphere then and was immediately hit by what felt like a surge of electricity that saw her entire body tingling with mystical vigor. It shocked her at first, but after the moment it took to adjust to it, she couldn't deny that there was a part of her that enjoyed it. With _that_ much power, who _wouldn't_? Illyana ignored the tiny voice in the back of her head tempting her to play with the energy that was now at her mercy and pressed forward to the core in the center.

It was an orb the size of a basketball, black like obsidian with cracks all through it where the bright, pulsing purple light from within it shined through. She reached out to touch it, the surface buzzed against her gloved fingertips, giving her only a taste of what it held inside of it. Illyana placed her Soulsword against her back, a spell so simple she hardly had to think about it allowing it to stay in place as if it were placed in a sheath. She placed both of her hands on the core then, biting down on her bottom lip as she stared down at it, fascinated.

* * *

Kitty had reached the missile. She hovered by its side, about half way down the lit-up tube that housed it. She had circled the thing twice, searched its smooth metal casing, hadn’t even found _thrusters_ let alone a control panel that she could work on disabling. It was disturbing, to say the least. But maybe the shell she had come to wasn’t the _actual_ missile. Maybe there was something _else_ inside it, and this was just another layer of protection. She grimaced at the thought of having to phase inside. Just getting down there had been hard enough. Whatever Breakworld was made of, it didn’t mesh well with her powers.

But she was an X-Man, and she had a job to do. Possibly an Earth to save.

Shadowcat laid her palm on the cool, metal surface, and phased her hand inside, allowing more and more of her arm in after it when all she encountered was solid metal. She was up to her shoulder before her fingers broke through into empty air, and she still couldn’t feel anything _useful_. Rather than leave her shoulder half-way inside, where she could _feel_ the molecules of her body squeezed uncomfortably between that of the metal shell, she phased her whole body in.

The pain was excruciating. It was like the shell wanted to keep her out, like the more of her body that merged with it, the more its defences increased. Its molecules were so dense that there was practically no room for hers to squeeze between them, and when they _did_ , they felt irreparably damaged, like someone had taken them and squished them between the arms of a vice. They could only bounce back so far.

The faster she tried to move, the faster she tried to get it over with, the more it hurt. It was like a Chinese finger cuff. The harder she pulled, the tighter it got.

When she finally fell into the open, pitch-back space beyond, she did exactly that – she _fell_.

Her left shoulder hit the ground – the wall, the roof? – first and was abruptly joined by the rest of her body. In the darkness, she couldn’t tell which way was up, which was down, or when it exactly it was that she passed out.

Had she even passed out? Had she only closed her eyes for a second?

Either way, she was conscious a second later and very keenly aware of just how weak she felt. She tried to get to her feet, slipped, and her back collided with the smooth wall behind her.

That wasn’t right... She shouldn’t have hit the bottom so quickly. When she had been outside of the missile, there had been quite a bit more than a couple of body lengths of the case stretching out below her. It should have taken her _much_ longer to hit the bottom.

Maybe the whole thing was partitioned? But if it was still only that, a metal casing for a missile, that didn’t made sense. And _where the hell was the missile?_

Kitty may have been essentially blind, but she knew what empty space felt like. There was no missile. Or else, it wasn't _a missile_.

 _'So what the hell?!'_ Kitty wondered, pushing herself off of the wall she was leaning against. Her arms were outstretched for balance, and just in case there _was_ something else inside of the cold metal tube.

She walked for what felt like far too long before she reached the wall on the other side. She felt around it, dragging her arms up and down and making her way around the circular interior as she went, searching for something, _anything._

She was just about to try searching higher, when it happened.

An explosion filled her ears, the sound reverberating off the hollow walls of the tube, deafening her. At the same time, she was thrown back the the ground — but more than thrown, _pinned_ by the force that pushed down upon her.

The tube was moving, and taking her with it.

The missile had fired. And she was in it, unable to see, unable to hear, unable to _move_ , and certainly unable to get out.

 _'Nononononono,'_ she chanted internally, her jaw clenched so hard that her teeth ached and ground down upon each other, _'This is_ not _happening right now.'_

* * *

The sound of slow, heavy footsteps against the grated metal walkway tore Illyana's attention away from the mystical core. When her hands fell from around it, she could _feel_ the energies draining from her and it almost pained her to let go of that much power. She reluctantly turned around and found Aghanne standing a few feet away from her, dressing in a hooded robe adorned with its own enchantments—presumably to allow her entry into the sphere.

"What are you waiting for?" The alien wanted to know, to which Illyana only tipped her head to the side like the woman was stupid.

"You think I'm actually going to do it?" She asked, a little put off by the fact that Aghanne looked disturbingly serious.

"You have to," she said, a pleading note thinly veiled by the urgency in her voice.

"I told you, I'm not a messiah," Magik narrowed her eyes, "Nor am I genocidal, which is what breaking this core would be. You're insane if you think otherwise."

"Is it insane to want to bring peace to my people? We have suffered enough," Aghanne was stepping closer to her, but Illyana held her ground. She wasn't going to let this woman push her, though there was a look of desperation in the alien's eyes that put the blonde on high alert.

"Death is not peace," the sorceress pulled her Soulsword from its place on her back and held it at her side instead, just in case, "I have seen it. Death is damnation. Death is a suffering you only _think_ you know."

"You cannot imagine living in a world where murder is honor. Where children nurse on the blood of the weak. I—" Before she could even finish, Illyana was laughing. It wasn't a laugh of amusement or mocking. There was no humor in it, only offense. _Disgust_ , even.

 " _Imagine_? I have _lived_ it. I _grew up_ in it," she snapped, "You have _no idea_ what I've _seen_ or what I've _done_."

"Then you know how it feels," Aghanne pushed, her calm, persuasive facade finally dropping. Now, she looked about as furious as Illyana felt, " _End this_."

"No," the answer was simple and absolute, "I will not be someone's tool for destruction again."

In that moment, the alien lost whatever she had left of her self-restraint and struck out at Illyana, a calloused fist colliding with her jaw so hard that the impact saw her head forced to the side and caused her to lose her footing. Magik stumbled, but managed to grab onto the railing to keep herself from falling even as her Soulsword clattered to the ground at her feet. Magik bared her teeth, her armor forming along her left arm just in time for her to swing around and hook Aghanne in the face.

As the alien staggered backward, Illyana swiped her Soulsword from the ground and brandished it at her in warning. She went to dare the woman to try that again, but something caught her off guard and stunned her into silence. A sudden feeling of dread, a pit forming in her gut that turned her fury at Aghanne into worry for her lover. She'd had this feeling before, a long time ago, when Kitty had been taken captive by the woman who was now their teammate. It was a connection they had, one they'd _always_ had—or at least as far back as Illyana could remember. A soul-link . That had always been the way they had explained it to each other.

Magik made an effort to drop her psychic barriers, opening her mind enough to allow Emma to communicate with her. But rather than wait for the White Queen to realize it and question her, Illyana mentally called out to her first, _'Emma. What's going on? Have you heard from Katya?'_

Outside of the orb, Kruun's imperial guard had stormed the sanctum. They funneled in through doors on either side of the bridge that Emma, Brand and Scott still stood on, and while Cyclops unleashed blast after blast into one group, Emma and Brand were doing their best to fight off the other. And while they fought, the White Queen had also been in contact with Hank up at the moon base.

What she had learned was disturbing indeed. Not only had the missiles _fired_ , but Kitty was trapped inside. Emma had been trying to get into contact with Illyana ever since, thinking that surely she must drop those mental shields of hers at _some_ point. She _had_ to, because the teleporter was their only hope.

 _'Bloody hell,_ there _you are,'_ Emma's mind-voice was urgent, borderline desperate if Illyana didn't know any better, _'Kitty is in the missile and it's been fired. We have to stop it.'_

For a moment, Illyana could have sworn her heart stopped, a constriction in her chest and a dull ache replacing where it should have been. Then, she could hear it beating loudly in her ears, could feel it pounding against her chest. Her brief pause gave Aghanne the advantage she needed to wrestle Illyana to the ground but as soon as her back hit the metal walkway, the blonde saw red. Blinded by her rage at the alien, at _Kruun_ , at this entire forsaken planet and all the good it had done them to threaten to destroy it, Illyana rolled them over so that _she_ had the upper hand instead.

"I don't have time for you."

Without a second thought, she punctuated her words by stabbing her Soulsword down into Aghanne's chest. Magik rose to her feet, pressing her boot against the alien's shoulder to help her pull the blade from her body. Whether she lived or died was no longer any of Illyana's concern. Her concern now was getting Kitty _out_ of that missile and back to safety with _her_. Magik should have never agreed to letting Scott separate them in the first place.

The sorceress activated a portal directly in front of herself and jumped through, the rift closing behind her in a flash of light.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakworld's missile has fired with Kitty inside.

"Come _on_ ," Kitty grit her teeth, pushing her back harder against the metal behind her and resisting the urge to sob in frustration. No matter how hard she tried, she could not phase through to the other side. Nevermind the fact that she was hurtling through _space_ , she just wanted _out_.

It probably didn't help that every time she imagined passing through that metal again her body would inadvertently tense and rebel against the very notion. She felt so weak already, like she hadn't slept in _weeks_ that she wasn't sure she'd be able to make it to the other side _anyway_ , but trying sure beat giving up.

She was an _X-Man_ , for crying out loud. There _had_ to be a way out of her current predicament. She was about to go for another push when Emma's voice was suddenly in her head.

 _'Kitty?'_ She sounded uncharacteristically concerned.

 _'Emma? Emma, Emma the missile fired. I'm inside,'_ Kitty thought back at her, struggling to keep her thoughts coherent.

_'We know, darling. It's alright. Help is on the way.'_

On cue, one of those oh-so-familiar portals opened just above her, its bright light temporarily lighting up her surroundings. What should have been one of Illyana's usually graceful entrances was painfully thwarted by gravity, immediately throwing the blonde to the ground beside Kitty. The loud clank of metal against metal signalled that Magik's armor had partially formed on her to take the brunt of her fall, but it still succeeded in forcing the air from her lungs.

"By the abyss," Illyana grunted through grit teeth with more effort than the words were really worth.

"Yana?" the brunette gasped, her eyes suddenly open, for all the good it did her.

"Katya," the sorceress reached out, groping blindly until her fingertips found Kitty's bicep— _was_ that her bicep?—and slid it down until she found her hand and clasped her own around it tightly, "I'm going to open a stepping disc beneath us and I need you to phase so we don't hit the ground."

"I... I can't, Yana. I barely made it in here," it was easier to admit her weakness in the dark, where she didn't have to see Illyana's disappointment or pity.

"Okay," but there was none of that in Illyana's voice, only a soft understanding. She'd seen what the stuff had done to Kitty the day before, she'd half expected that response anyway. She squeezed her lover's hand tighter and used her grip to pull Kitty's body closer to her, "I'll hold you then, okay?"

 _'Illyana, wait,'_ Emma's voice came through to both of them, Illyana having left her psychic shields down in case of something just like this, _'We've had a development.'_

 _'What_ development _? We don't have_ time _to wait,'_ Illyana thought right back, already working on trying to pull the brunette on top of her despite the crushing resistance they were facing.

 _'Our people are trying to stop the bullet, but if it doesn't work...'_ Emma's mind-voice trailed off.

Kitty would have nodded if the force hadn't been holding her head so perfectly still against the metal behind her. How they had gathered all the heroes on Earth together so quickly, she didn't know, but maybe more time had passed than she thought. Either way, whatever they were doing to try and stop the bullet, whether it was opening a black hole in its course or hitting it head on... it didn't spell good news for her, or Magik if she stayed. Illyana could have gotten the both of them out before that, of course, but then...

 _'If it doesn't work, I need to phase it through the Earth,'_ she finished for the telepath. That she may not be able to accomplish that incredible feat went unspoken. _'I can't phase you too, Yana. You need to go back.'_

 _'Katya, I don't need you to phase me,'_ Illyana pressed. She didn't want to be separated from her again, not now and not like this, _'I can handle myself but I'm not leaving you.'_

Kitty had expected as much. She wouldn't have liked it either. But she wasn't going to give Illyana the same choice she would have demanded herself. Whether Kitty would have been able to phase Illyana with her or not was not her concern. But if their people were on Earth doing whatever they could to stop the bullet from getting any closer, then she didn't want her lover there in the firing line with her. If she had to stay as the last ditch effort, then she would stay alone, _'I can't phase this whole thing with you here. I'll be fine, I promise you. Burgers and milkshakes, remember?'_

Illyana conveyed her unease by squeezing Kitty's hand tighter, reluctant to loosen her grip even slightly. She didn't like this plan, she didn't like it at _all_ but as much as she wanted to protest it, to take Kitty out anyway, she knew she couldn't. This is what they signed up for when they became X-Men, like it or not. Save the world at all costs, right? Once upon a time, she'd had to make that decision herself—only she didn't have Kitty with her to help her through it like the brunette had Illyana now.

 _'Fine,'_ She finally gave in, if only not to make this any harder on Kitty than it already was, _'But as soon as it's done, I'm coming in to get you and you're not going to stop me, got it?'_

 _'Got it,'_ Kitty tried to smile, but, knowing Illyana couldn't see it, she made do with tightening her grip on her hand. She didn't want to let go, but she forced herself to uncurl her fingers and move her arm away, _'Time to go.'_

 _'Okay,'_ even Illyana's mind-voice was soft and weak with how badly she didn't want to go through with this.

"I love you," Kitty breathed at her, managing to keep her voice from cracking as did. Her whole face had crumpled with grief, and she was so glad that Magik couldn't see her. She didn't want to die. _God_ she did not want to die. She was finally _happy_ , she was _in love_ , and with her _best friend_ at that. The last thing she wanted to do was die on her.

Unfortunately, it didn't look like she was going to have any other choice. This was it. This was going to be her end.

She was so scared. Her body wanted to cling to Illyana, to not let her go without her, that human instinct for survival at all costs kicking in.

But she had to stay. And, anyway, maybe everything would be okay. Right?

"I love you too, lapushka*," Illyana let her fingertips brush over the back of Kitty's hand for a brief moment, anything to stall what she knew she had to do. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, concentrating on pulling forth her mystical armor. It formed over her entire body, encasing her in protective, shining metal, leaving only her face uncovered. In the split second between when her portal opened and when she felt through, the burst of light allowed them one last—unbeknownst to Illyana—glance at one another.

Alone in the dark again, Kitty sobbed.

* * *

When her portal carried her to the ship that Emma, Scott and Brand had stolen from Kruun and his men, Illyana was thankful she'd thought to summon her armor. She was thrown passed every passenger in the spacecraft and slammed into the back wall with a very loud _bang_ that put a large dent where she landed. Her armor receded back to whence in came even as she peeled herself from the wall and unstably climbed to her feet.

"Are you okay?" Scott looked around his seat at her, the concern etched all in his features. She nodded quickly, her attention instead going to the telepath.

"Emma," she said, grabbing onto the back of the older blonde's seat as though she was going to crumble to the ground if she didn't, "I want to talk to her. I don't want her to be alone."

"Of course, darling," Emma's voice was soft, compliant. Sympathetic, in a way. Unusual, maybe, but Illyana wasn't complaining. After only a second or two longer, she spoke again, "Go on. I have you linked."

 _'Katya,'_ She closed her eyes, like staring at the back of her eyelids was going to help her better cope with this bad idea, _'I'm here.'_

 _'Hey, princess. So did you guys destroy Breakworld, or what?'_ Kitty's voice came through so clearly it was as if she was standing right beside her. Illyana could imagine the smile she would have had on her face, however forced it may have been.

 _'I should have,'_ one corner of Illyana's mouth twitched up into a small little half-smile.

_'You're too much of a good-guy for that.'_

Beyond Kitty's voice, Illyana could hear Scott explaining what was going on to Emma and Brand. Something about Reed Richards and a Negative Zone that she didn't understand. She ignored it and focused on her lover instead.

_'Maybe I am. It would have saved us a lot of trouble, though.'_

_'I don't think they could have stopped the missile from firing, Yana. It was always going to happen. Kruun wasn't lying.'_

It was Brand's turn to relay information this time, telling Scott that the Starjammers were on their way, but whether or not they'd get close enough in time was debatable. Wasn't Kitty's friend Rachel with those people? She shrugged it off, not that concerned with it at the moment anyway.

_'If I destroyed Breakworld, that missile would have been gone too. You wouldn't have to do this.'_

_'No, but_ —'Abruptly, Kitty broke off, and when her voice returned again it was panicked,' _Yana? Yana I heard a crack. What's going on?'_

"What just happened?" Illyana spoke out loud, relaying Kitty's concern since she couldn't do it herself, "What did they just do?"

"Iron Man tried to stop it," Scott told her without looking back at her, his eyes focused on a panel up front. He didn't have to say anything for the blonde to know it hadn't worked.

_'It was just Iron Man.'_

_'It's not slowing down. Is he okay?'_

_'I think he's fine,'_ Illyana didn't bother to check with anyone to make sure, _'Katya, I don't like this.'_

Kitty ignored her, her thoughts so anxious that they chilled Illyana to the bone. She'd never heard her sound so scared before. Kitty was always determined, always tough and ready to do whatever that was necessary. _'Have they tried opening a portal to the Negative Zone? I know Mr. Fantastic was working on something...'_

 _'He tried that but it didn't work either,'_ Illyana didn't ask for the details, but it got the wheels of her own mind turning.

 _'A portal to_ anywhere _?'_ Kitty tried desperately.

_'I can try Limbo.'_

Illyana stepped way from Emma's chair then, moving to the front where Brand and Scott were seated, "I want to try something."

"What is it?" Scott asked, hopeful but cautious. He had to believe that _something_ would work.

"I can open a portal to Limbo and send it there," she told him, but before he could respond—

"If you send that bullet to Limbo, the impact of the crash will kill her," Brand explained. Illyana wasn't the smartest person in the world, she was self-aware enough to know that, but it didn't take her long to piece together just exactly what the agent was telling her. She bared her teeth then, her jaw clenching so tightly her muscles twitched with the sudden rage that surged with her untimely realization.

"That means that _anything_ they've been throwing at that bullet could have _killed her_ if they'd succeeded," her eyes flashed a demonic yellow-orange and Scott had to throw his arm out with a shout she paid no mind to in order to stop her from snatching Brand up from her seat. They _all_ knew that that had been the case. Every last one of them and they hadn't thought it necessary to tell _her_.

 _'Yana?'_ Only Emma and Illyana heard Kitty's anxious thought.

"Magik," Scott's voice was firm and authoritative, but she didn't let him continue with whatever bullshit line he was about to feed to her.

"I'm getting her out," she interrupted, already turning away from the two of them.

"It's too late for that," Brand told her, nodding at the screen before them. It was flashing red, with numbers counting down at the bottom of the panel.

 _'Kitten, we're going to need you to phase soon,'_ Illyana heard Emma's voice in her head despite the blood rushing passed her ears.

Kitty's reply sounded strained, ' _Okay. Okay. I can do this. Can you tell the others... Can you tell them I love them?'_

 _'They know, darling_.'

 _'Okay, uhh, I'm sorry if I can't do it. And Yana? Princess, I'm so sorry. I_ —'

 _'_ Phase _Kitty!'_

This was not going to be how it went. Illyana wasn't going to let her go like this, not after everything they had been through. They were supposed to get through this _together_. They were supposed to go home _together_. Illyana wouldn't lose her, not again. Kitty had _promised_ her. She had promised her that she wasn't going to leave her again. She _couldn't_. Illyana's mind-voice was urgent, borderlining on desperate, _'Katya_ — _'_

_'Goodbye.'_

_'KATYA!'_

But the other end of the link was gone, leaving Illyana with only a cold, empty pit in her chest that she hadn't felt since part of her soul had been torn from her. Illyana's throat tightened, she could hardly breathe, but what _did_ come out was more like a snarl than a breath and her body trembled no matter how hard she tried to hold it together. Her eyes burned that eerie orange, their fierce glow giving away the tears that rolled down her cheeks despite the darkness of the ship's cabin.

She wasn't even aware that her long and thin, pointed tail had sprouted. At least, not until the thought to turn around and make _all_ of her teammates suffer for what they'd done crossed her mind and as if to punctuate it, the tail whipped against the back of her knee.

The bullet was going through the Earth with the best part of her trapped inside and there was _nothing she could do_. The more she thought about it, the angrier she got at Scott, at Brand, at _Emma_. It was too late, and it was _their_ fault.

In the split second between when Illyana turned around and when she lashed out, she caught a glimpse of herself in the glass of the spacecraft's windshield, noticing that her horns and her more demonic legs had taken form. She hooked her black talon-like nails into the cushioned part of Brand's seat and used the grip to tear it around so Brand faced her.

"What the fu—" Illyana grabbed the woman's face, effectively silencing her as her claws dug into her soft and vulnerable skin, keenly aware that she could easily rip all of it off if she really wanted to. Luckily—or maybe not so much so—for Brand, that wouldn't be as fun. In fact, she had something _much_ more painful in mind for the one who was at fault for this entire thing to begin with.

Before she could get the revenge she craved, an intense, crimson blast coming from somewhere to her left slammed into the side of her abdomen. The force of the impact threw her into the wall of the spacecraft with a pained and startled grunt, Brand half-following her until Illyana's claws lost their traction—but not without some considerable damage. The S.W.O.R.D. agent was left with some pretty horrific, deep cuts on her face.

In the next moment, Magik was already pushing herself back to her feet with a furious growl, her teeth ground together and her fangs on full display. She looked up to see that Emma had put herself in front of Brand, and Scott stood in front of _her_ , his bare eyes glowing dangerously. Illyana didn't seem fazed.

"This is _your_ fault," her voice was hardly her own anymore, twisted by the demon within—

 _'Yana?'_ Suddenly, Kitty's voice was in her head again. Illyana's eyes widened and her jaw fell in disbelief. And just like that, the other three didn't matter anymore and the rage that had boiled over receded to allow the relief Kitty's voice brought on to wash through her.

_'Katya! Thank the Dark Lords.'_

_'Did I do it?'_ Shadowcat's voice was weak and eerily quiet. Illyana glanced passed the others to gaze out into the vast abyss of space. The bullet had, indeed, passed through the Earth.

 _'You did it, Katya,'_ Illyana told her, her smile evident even in her mind-voice, _'Hold on, lapushka*, I'm coming to get you.'_

 _'I'm just going to rest my eyes for a bit. I'm so tired,'_ Magik could practically hear Kitty drifting off, her thoughts growing quieter and quieter until they were hardly more than a breath in her mind, until they were barely words at all and more like a soft impression. Then she was gone from the link.

She was replaced almost instantaneously by another mental presence, this one new and much stronger, _'Kitty?!'_

 _'It's about time you showed up, Miss Grey,'_ Even in Emma's mind-voice, the snarky edge she usually put forth for the alternate reality—that thought alone brought on the beginnings of a migraine—daughter was dulled by the very real fact of the matter. They could have used her, and the Phoenix Force she harbored, a lot sooner than this.

"Magik _go_ ," Emma said aloud, and Illyana didn't need to be told twice. As soon as the teleporter was gone through a stepping disc, the older blonde immediately went back to the telepathic conversation with Rachel Grey, _'We need your help.'_

 _'What the_ hell _were you guys doing? How did she get in that thing? Why didn't you get her_ out?' Rachel's mental voice was incredulous, angry even, but Illyana had stopped paying attention to the voices in her head long ago.

 _'For God's sake. You can throw a temper tantrum at a less inopportune time, Rachel. We_ need _your_ help _.'_

This time when she came through the portal into the speeding bullet, Illyana was fully prepared. Her Eldritch armor covered her entire body save for the horns protruding from her head and the tail that whipped around her legs.

_'As soon as Illyana gets her out of the bullet, we need you to take care of it. Can you do that?'_

The otherwordly metal took the brunt of Illyana's fall once again and she immediately rolled to her side, wrapping her arms around Kitty's limp body. She secured her tightly against her own and squeezed her eyes shut in preparation for what she knew was coming.

_'As long as it unphases, that won't be a problem.'_

A portal grew beneath them and they dropped through together, the force throwing them back into the ship. The wall at that back that had already been hammered once couldn't withstand the second hit.

_'Can you destroy the moonbase? The last thing we need is them making another one.'_

When Magik's back slammed into it, it groaned and caved under the force and she and Kitty fell through to the bathroom that seemed to also double as a supply room. A fact she didn't realize until a shelf of who-knew-what toppled over onto them—and went _straight through_ Kitty.

_'Consider it done. Just help her.'_

Illyana quickly shoved the shelf and the boxes off of her and sat up, propping herself up against the wall behind her. She lifted Kitty up as her armor crawled away from her face and she cradled the brunette in her arms. There was a tired, relieved smile on her lips when she spoke, "Katya? Are you okay?"

But just as soon as the words were out, Kitty's head lulled back on her shoulders, her eyes still closed. Illyana's face fell, her forehead creasing with her concern. Kitty couldn't phase when she was _asleep_ could she? She'd never been able to before, not except for that time when—

"Emma!" Illyana called out in distress, "Scott!"

She cupped Kitty's cheek with her armored hand, patting it gently with her fingers and shaking her body to try and rouse her. Illyana swallowed hard, her attempts getting more desperate as the seconds ticked by, the tight grip of panic constricting her chest even as she heard Emma and Scott's footfalls approaching.

_'Magik? Emma? Is she okay? I can't feel her, what's going on?'_

Scott had fallen to his knees next to Illyana's body, his hand reaching for Kitty's neck. His fingers fell through her body before he could find her pulse.

 _'We don't know,'_ was all Emma could manage as she covered her mouth with her hand to hide her grimace. Brand stood just outside the hole that had been made in Kruun's ship, gauze held up to both her cheeks, soaking up the blood.

"This happened to her before, in—" Illyana started, her voice strangled and raspy.

"In the attack with the Marauders," Scott finished for her, retracting his hand back to his own body and instead looked at the blonde, "How are you still holding her?"

"She...she can't phase through magick," Illyana explained, shifting slightly and securing Kitty's body to her own in a protective embrace. She knew she was the only thing keeping Kitty from phasing through the floor of the ship and into the endless abyss of outer space, "My armor is part of a physical manifestation of _my_ magick. She can't phase through it."

 _'I've destroyed the bullet and the moonbase. I'm coming to you,'_ Rachel told them.

"The Fantastic Four helped her last time. They'll do it again," Scott asserted, climbing back to his feet, "They're all at the Peak. Can you get her there?"

Illyana nodded, pressing one hand against Kitty's back while the other slipped behind her knees. She lifted her up as she rose from the ground, glancing to Scott and then to Emma, "I'll take us all."

 _'Rachel,'_ Emma thought at the other woman quickly, _'Meet us at the Peak.'_

And in the next moment, the flash from Illyana's portal came and went, leaving the ship completely vacant.

* Sweetheart - Translated from Russian


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott, Emma and Illyana arrive at the Peak with Kitty's intangible body and surrender her to the biggest brains on the planet in the best medical bay that money can buy.

When they arrived at the Peak, ascending from a stepping disc right in the midst of the crowd that had gathered, they were greeted by applause. Everyone, more faces and people than Illyana had even a chance at naming, were exuberant. They had all come together in the space station to try and save the Earth and none of their efforts had come into fruition. No portals or head-on punches or explosives or anything of the sort had been able to even dent the bullet, let alone divert its course. Anything they had tried could have easily killed Shadowcat, and yet she had chosen to remain inside as Earth’s last hope, knowing full well the sacrifice she was making. And when their efforts had failed still, after throwing everything they had at her, she had succeeded.  
   
Kitty Pryde had phased a giant bullet through the Earth and saved the lives of the six billion or so people who called it home.  
   
Their fellow heroes clapped and cheered and pushed in towards them until they saw the look on Illyana and the other X-Men’s faces and the limp body of their saviour in her arms. Their elation quickly dissolved into concern, with shouts inquiring into Kitty's wellbeing coming from all directions and anxious murmurs sweeping through the crowd.

"Let me through!" Ororo's voice came from somewhere within the group, people parting for her like a stream around a rock

Kurt followed in her wake, muttering "Entschuldigen sie mich, excuse me," to the people he skirted passed.

Illyana held Kitty's body against her protectively but she stepped forward to do her part in closing the gap between herself and the two approaching. When they were within arms length, the blonde lifted her gaze from her girlfriend to the pair of X-Men, "She can't be touched."

"Mein gott, Kätzchen," Kurt sighed, three fingers reaching out hesitantly towards his friend to hover uncertainly over her body. It may have just been his wishful thinking, but she didn't look hurt to him. Her expression was peaceful, as if she had been so exhausted by the feat she had pulled off that she had merely fallen asleep. He didn't want to think about why else she would look like that.

It was Ororo who asked the question that danced uneasily at the front of his mind, "Is she alive?"

Illyana didn't say anything. Instead, her eyes fell back down to Kitty and her bangs fell over her eyes. It was Scott that finally spoke up.

"We don't know."

Storm nodded, "She is stuck phased?" 

Illyana bobbed her head so slightly that it wouldn't have been noticeable if Storm hadn't already been looking at her. As soon as she had her answer, the weather witch turned on her heel to face the crowd.

"All of you move back! Stark! Richards!" 

Heavy footsteps clanking against the floor brought their attention to the face that at least one of those men already making his way towards them. The sea of superpowered spectators parted once again to allow the armored Avenger through, his form towering over Illyana as he examined Kitty's body.

The faceplate of his helmet popped open so he could look at them directly, a slightly strained smile on his face directed down at the unconscious—possibly deceased—brunette, "Freezing someone in carbonite is nasty business, Kitty. Let's hope I'm smarter than I look, huh?"

Tony lifted his gaze to Illyana, saw that his attempt to joke had gone right over her head, and grimaced inwardly, "Medical bay. Now."

* * *

The doors of the medical bay whooshed open to allow Reed Richards, Hank McCoy, and Tony Stark to step out into the hallway. A lot of the heroes had already left, gone back to Earth to help with the disaster that was quickly unravelling there. Not only were people scared— they had just seen a giant bullet shoot through the planet, after all — but a large number of hospitals, schools, airports, nursing homes, intersections and whole cities had just had all their electronics disrupted to the point where not even their back-up generators could save them.

Only a few people remained. Ororo and Kurt came and went, checking in on their progress with Kitty every few hours in between everything else they were doing. Logan, Hisako and Hank had arrived not long after everyone had departed from the Peak, and they remained there still, Wolverine and Armor waiting just outside the medical bay with Brand, Scott and Emma, while Beast had gone to help the brains inside. 

The Starjammers had landed at the same time, Rachel leading the charge with Havok, Polaris and the rest of the crew behind her. Much to the redhead's dismay, however, and despite her yelling, she had not been let inside to see her friend. Instead she sulked and paced with the rest of them, a caged animal waiting to be released.

Illyana hadn't been able to be convinced to leave Kitty alone, even after she and Doctor Strange had utilized Limbo materials and their combined magicks to construct Shadowcat a stasis chamber. The tube had been reinforced over and over with magickal enchantments until they were both sure that there was no chance that Kitty would simply fall out, but still the blonde had refused to remove herself from her side.

As soon as the people outside saw the look on Hank's face, not to mention Tony and Reed's, they knew that Kitty's condition was unchanged. 

"Unfortunately, it doesn't look like we have very many options here," Reed spoke first, his voice raised just enough so that everyone could hear the abysmal news, "We can't detect any brain waves."

"But that could simply be because of her current, incorporeal state. It appears that Kitty overexerted herself in saving all of us. She forced herself to phase a mass that none of us could stop, and she phased it through an even larger mass. She herself has become stuck in that state now," Tony explained, "She appears to be comatose."

"Or she's brain dead," Reed added.

Tony nodded in agreement, "We won't know for sure until we can unphase her."

"If we can unphase her."

"What do you mean "if'"? You're the greatest minds on Earth and the best you can give us is an "if"? That's bloody well useless, now isn't it?" Emma cut in, her calm exterior showing its cracks.

"Emma darling, don't be counterproductive. This is difficult enough as it is," Tony urged, clearly not making Emma any happier. She started to snap back—

When Rachel suddenly pushed to the front of the crowd. She paid no heed to the X-Men standing at the front or the three men who were trying to tell her that they could do nothing for her best friend.

"I can fix this," she told them all, stomping right into the medical bay without a backwards glance.

At the sound of the doors, Illyana looked up from Kitty's stasis chamber to meet Rachel's gaze. Her jaw set tight, unable to help the annoyed feeling stirring in her gut that she had to fight to stay in here with the men while they worked and they let the redhead come right on in—unaware that they actually hadn't at first.

Rachel barely even glanced at her, though her purposeful walk did slow as she approached the tube Kitty lay in. Rachel was still unable to feel her — telepathically or telekinetically, and that was supremely disturbing. 

The Phoenix emblem flared over her right eye as soon as she stopped beside Kitty's stasis chamber. Her hands reached out towards it, and she concentrated all her extensive power into willing her friend back to solidity. As hard has she pushed, however, as much force as she put into it, she could tell that it wasn't happening. That didn't keep her from trying until her teeth ached from being clenched so tightly together, a vein stood out of her temple and the wings of the cosmic firebird she hosted burst from her back and flared towards the ceiling.

Illyana watched all this in complete silence, hoping beyond hope that it worked but knowing somewhere in the back of her mind that it wouldn't. When that much became clear, the blonde spoke up, "Just stop. All you're doing is wearing yourself out."

"Is that what you did?" Rachel snapped back, psionic flames abruptly disappearing, "Stopped trying because you were wearing yourself out?"

"How dare you," Illyana rose to her feet, her eyes narrowed dangerously as they came ablaze with the demonic yellowish-orange.

Marvel Girl was not in the least bit intimidated. "At least I'm not sitting at her bedside doing nothing."

"You don't think I've tried everything I can?" Illyana shot back, her voice raising angrily with each word, "I'm the reason she's here right now. I'm the only reason she hasn't phased through this ship. Don't you fucking tell me I've done nothing."

"If you cared about her like I do you would still be trying. You wouldn't have let her do that in the first place! You would have already gone back in time to stop it from happening altogether!" the redhead pointed out, her own words so loud it was a wonder no one outside the room could hear her yelling. 

She could not go to another funeral. Certainly not for Kitty. She could not have her going out like this. If there was anything more frustrating than not being able to help her, even with the Phoenix Force at her disposal, it was the fact that no one else seemed to be trying that hard. Not to mention the fact that she hadn't gotten there in time to stop any of it from even being necessary.

"You don't know a damn thing if you don't think I haven't thought of that," Illyana's volume wasn't getting any lower, "There's no guarantee I'd be able to stop it if I went back in time. Something worse could happen, we could mess everything up."

The idea that she had done nothing, that she hadn't tried hard enough, or that she didn't care about Kitty enough had her rage boiling under her skin again. She fought it back, but it took everything in her not to lash out at the other woman. The only thing holding back that last string of self control was that the object of her rage was someone Kitty cared so much about.

"I love her, Rachel," She finally spat out, as if she truly needed to defend how strongly she felt about the brunette to a woman who hadn't even been there, "Don't you dare say I don't care about her as much as you do."

"You think I don't love her too? You are not the only roommate she has ever had. And you are definitely not her only friend. All those people out there, the people who are now on Earth saving more people? They all care about her, and not just because she just saved the damn world. You don't get to sit in here and pretend you meant more to her than anyone else she has ever known," Rachel yelled back.

As much as she wanted to argue, as much as she wanted to snap right back at the redhead, she couldn't help the stabbing pains in her chest that told her that Rachel was probably right. Of course Kitty had other friends, that had never been a question. Illyana had always known that, way before they had ever gotten together and she was lucky enough to have Kitty call her one of her best friends. She was lucky enough to have Kitty say she loved her and not in a way friends love one another. 

But if they were all lined up and Kitty had to choose, would it really be her that she chose? 

Why should it be?

"Fuck off," was all Illyana said outwardly, and then she was turning towards Kitty's stasis chamber. She wasn't going to listen to any more of this, and she'd come back for the others as soon as the desire to put her Soulsword through Rachel's self-righteous face passed enough for her to stand being near her for the time it took to teleport everyone back.

Illyana placed her hands on the mystical crystalline construct that made up the face of it and a stepping disc grew beneath the chamber and herself, reaching only far enough to allow it to swallow both of them. It closed behind her, leaving Rachel in the room alone.

* * *

Outside, the others were too busy talking to pay any mind to what was happening in the medical bay.

"We're gonna need a more permanent place to work on helping her, preferably one that's not in space, so—" Tony was saying.

"Bring her back to the mansion," Scott interrupted, "We have a medical bay, we can set up a place for you to work and it's close to home. I think everyone would be more comfortable there."

"Exactly what I suggested," Hank nodded in agreement, cleaning his glasses off on a pocket of the lab coat that he had thrown on over this uniform. 

"Illyana can't be takin' it well," Logan noted, inclining his head in the direction that Magik was despite the walls between them.

"They're together?" It was Lorna that asked the question.

"Be more specific, darling," Emma chimed.

"I meant are they—"

"I caught them fucking on my ship, if that gives you the answer you need," Brand cut in, crossing her arms over her chest.

Polaris cringed, but before she could say anything else, Rachel cleared her throat. She leaned against the door jam of the medical bay, her arms crossed and her expression speaking volumes about what she had just overheard. She was not amused in the slightest.

"Magik is gone. She took Kitty with her."

"What?!" Was the exclamation that came out of more than a few people's mouths. 

"What do you mean she's gone? Where the hell did she go?" Emma shouted, her tone borderlining on accusatory at the redhead.

Rachel shrugged indifferently, "Your guess is as good as mine."

Emma's glacial eyes narrowed at the woman, her mind reaching out and picking through Rachel's like she had any business being in there—she believed she did and that was all that mattered, truly. If Emma could have rolled her eyes any harder at what she found, she might have lost them, "You couldn't have held your damn tongue?"

As soon as the redhead realized what had happened, her mental blocks slammed down in front of her mind. "You couldn't have gotten her out of that bullet?" Rachel snapped back.

"What is this? Another childish temper tantrum? Oh, how utterly unsurprising," Emma bit right back, "You blaming your own perceived shortcomings on everyone else is becoming quite tiresome, Miss Grey."

Rachel snorted and pushed herself off the wall, "Stop pretending you care about anyone other than yourself, Miss Frost."

"I hate to break up this happy family reunion, but shouldn't we be focusing on where the demon took the girl?" Brand asked, green eyes darting between Rachel and Emma. Her hand twitched at her side, at the ready in case she needed to pull her weapon on either of them.

Rachel and Emma's eyes both whipped towards her, identical glares on their faces that would have been entertaining in any other situation. It was Rachel that broke her gaze away first, and with a huff as she stormed right past the group, around a corner and out of sight.

Alex grimaced, his eyes following after his time-displaced niece until she disappeared from view, then he turned to her father, "Where do we start looking?"

"Illyana cares about her just as much as we do," Scott started, "she won't take her anywhere that puts her in any danger. If anything, she'll take her where she thinks she can get help."

"Where else could she go?" Hisako finally found her voice, though it was still timid and almost shy under the combined weight of the gazes of those who surrounded her, "Everyone who could help is here."

"The professor?" Alex tried, "He wasn't here with us. Could she have taken Kitty to him?"

Logan snorted, "That kid don't trust Chuck as far as she could throw him."

"But she could have gone back to the institute," Scott realized, "We were going to take her there anyway, we may as well give it a shot before we organize any search parties."

* * *

Indeed, Illyana had taken Kitty back to the Xavier school. There was no where else to go, at least not anywhere that the X-Men could easily find them. She knew they'd come back to the mansion eventually, which was what she wanted anyway. She wasn't trying to run or hide or keep Kitty from them, but she couldn't stand and listen to everything Rachel was saying to her, either. She refused. Not when Kitty was...

When the X-Men did finally arrive at the mansion, several hours later and after taking one of S.W.O.R.D.'s ships back to Earth, they found her there, bent over Kitty's stasis chamber, her cheek pressed against the glass. They weren't sure if she knew they were there, just on the other side of the window, but either way they elected to send only Emma inside to talk to her. They didn't want to risk Illyana making another rash decision and out of all of them, the former White Queen was their best bet in ensuring that she wouldn't. 

When the pressure-sealed door released with a distinctive whoosh, Illyana didn't even flinch. She didn't move at all, not even to look over her shoulder to see who joined her. She stayed as she was, as close as she could get to Kitty's unresponsive body. 

"I did say you couldn't teleport all of your problems away," Emma said as she approached her, heels clicking against the metal floor. Illyana made no effort to respond, simply making a lazy glance over her shoulder to glare at the other woman. Emma was unfazed by the silent, half-hearted threat and joined the younger blonde at her side. 

"Leave," Illyana's words were simple, their meaning clear in the hostile tone of her voice. Emma was, once again, unfazed.

"Temper tantrums aren't going to get us anywhere, darling," the White Queen pressed. Illyana went back to ignoring her, turning to peer down into the stasis chamber again instead. Emma kept going, "You're angry with us, I know. We lied to you about what we were doing. We put Katherine in a situation that should have killed her, but you have to remember that she chose to remain in that bullet. She knew what she was doing even if you had yet to grasp it. But there is a possibility, however slim, that she is still alive in there, and teleporting her away from the only people who can help her was incredibly selfish of you."

Emma was right. Illyana knew that. Emma knew that Illyana knew that. But however selfish it had been, she had enough to deal with without Rachel yelling at her over things she didn't even understand and she wasn't going to sit there and take it, not now. Kitty was the one and only thing she cared about right then, and taking her away hadn't changed much anyway. The X-Men had followed her here, as she knew they would, and the others would soon follow. There was nothing they could do at the S.W.O.R.D headquarters that they couldn't do here. But nothing she said or did would convince the White Queen that she was justified in what she'd done, so she remained silent.

And when it became apparent to Emma that Illyana wasn't going to say anything, she turned on her heel to leave. Right before she reached the door, she paused and glanced back over her shoulders,"You are not the only person who has to live with what has happened."


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Kitty still unconscious and intangible, the X-Men hold a service to honor her sacrifice.

The memorial for Kitty was held just over a week later. They weren’t calling it a funeral, though many who had come—and there _were_ many—were treating it as such. The more days that passed without any sign that Kitty would ever wake up, the less hopeful everyone became.

At the beginning, for the first few days after Shadowcat had saved the world, the phones at the institute had rung nonstop as friends, old teammates, and people who had never even met Kitty inquired after her wellbeing.  Was she awake yet? Were there any signs? How was she doing? Did they know what was wrong with her yet? They kept Emma and Scott as busy as the people who were still trying to bring her back.

Every day the callers were assured that they would be contacted if there were any changes, and every day they were thanked for their concern. And slowly, slowly, the concern had waned. People moved on. Flowers stopped turning up at the front gates every day. The super heroes of the world turned their attention to the next problem, the next villain in need of putting down, the next giant dinosaur.  

At first they tried to give the X-Men a break, took on jobs they would usually be called in for, but that could only last so long. And when the X-Men did start going out again, Illyana did not go with them. 

Now, however, the hero community attended in full. Some wore suits, some their uniforms. All bore flowers and sympathy cards and wore somber expressions as they embraced old friends they hadn’t seen for years. They were treating it like a funeral even though no one was dead. No one was dead because everyone had been saved. Kitty had saved everyone and now she paid the price. Her team paid the price. Illyana paid the price. 

Brian and Meggan had come from England, Ororo from Wakanda, Rachel with the Starjammers. There were the Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, the Avengers, a handful of representatives from S.W.O.R.D. and S.H.I.E.L.D., and numerous others who had some kind of connection to Kitty or to the X-Men. Scott, Emma and Hank dealt with the reception, shaking hands and clasping shoulders, meeting sympathetic gazes and answering questions about Kitty's state as best they could.

It was a beautiful day, of course. Ororo had made sure of that. The sun shined down on the hundreds of seats that had been arranged in her garden, on the podium that they all faced and the stone statue just to the left of that podium that had been erected in Kitty’s honor.

The statue was flawless, right down to the determined expression on Kitty’s face and the slight dip in her eyebrows that betrayed the kindness she had exhibited to everyone at the mansion, if not everyone in her life. A bed of colorful flowers sat at the base, and though Lockheed was irritated by the smell and the noise as people came up to admire it, he was unmoving from his perch on its larger-than-life shoulder. He was curled up like he had fallen asleep bathing in the sun, but his beady eyes gave away his disapproval to anyone who came close enough to see that they were open and glaring. He hissed at anyone who tried to touch the statue, and they laughed like he was a stupid pet protecting the stone reconstruction of his master, but hurried away regardless.  

Illyana was the only one missing.

The blonde was in the exact same place—the same position, even—where she had spent every moment since she had returned Kitty to the mansion. In all that time, she had barely slept or eaten. She had been lying there, draped over the glass hood of the stasis chamber for days. Possibly a week. Possibly _longer_. Everything kind of ran together at this point. She gauged time by when the supposed smartest minds on the planet—she begged to differ—visited for their daily scrambles to figure out what was wrong with Kitty and whether or not she was still alive. It was hard to keep time when everything had gone numb and she wasn't sure how much she cared to try and figure it out again. It didn't matter, after all. Nothing mattered anymore, not when her best friend, her  _girlfriend_ —the only person besides her brother who had every truly loved her—was stuck in a state of obscurity.  

Every now and then Dani Moonstar or Xi'an Coy Manh would make their way down to the room, offering food and water, but Illyana never took it. She didn't feel hungry. She didn't feel thirsty. She didn't feel much of anything except a deep sorrow and an undeniable rage that festered beneath her skin, boiling with each passing moment that she laid beside Kitty's stasis chamber. The most prevalent, however, was the black smog of the burning desire for revenge that polluted her mind. By the abyss, if Kitty was dead or alive but would never wake, it was the fault of one man, one  _monster_ , and she ached with the need to make him pay.  

There was only one string holding her back, one fragile string that threatened to unravel at any moment and that was her commitment to staying by her girlfriend's side while they tried to figure out what was going on. She hardly understood anything they said or anything they did, they hardly spoke to her and she never spoke to them, but after quite a few objections—in the beginning, anyway—they finally got the picture and understood that Illyana wasn't going to remove herself from the room. 

They had told her about the memorial, of course, but she hardly paid attention to much of anything that was said to her unless it had to do with her best friend's condition. She hadn’t expected that the X-Men would go through with it, anyway—Kitty wasn’t dead. Or, at least, they didn’t know for sure. And that was enough for her. But, that morning, Tony had walked in in a suit instead of what he usually wore.

Illyana hadn't realized how late—early, actually—it was until the door to the room slid open with a pressurized  _whoosh_  and admitted him into the infirmary. As per usual, the blonde sat up and moved around to the other side of the chamber without a word so that Tony could step up to where she had been laying. She didn’t take much interest in his abrupt change in attire. There was some explanation for it, she knew, she just didn’t care.

He placed his hands on the glass and leaned over, casting his blue-eyed gaze onto the brunette within it. There was a weak smile on his face. 

"Miss Pryde, it seems you've given us quite the problem to work out here," he spoke down to her, fingers tapping against the chamber, "But don't worry, I'm just as stubborn as your girlfriend is." 

Illyana had never been too fond of the Avengers, some less so than others, but while she would never speak the words aloud, she was grateful for Iron Man's persistence. He was always the first one in and the last one to leave most times and besides Hank, he was also the one that appeared less bothered by the fact that she hung around while they worked. 

Usually Tony didn't say anything to her, but this time, as he straightened up, he did. "The memorial is today," he wasn't looking at her, and Illyana didn't bother to respond to him. What was there to say when, inside, she didn’t feel anything?

As Iron Man went about what had become his daily routine, Illyana stared into the glass. Her eyes were strained, tired and she had to force herself to see through the blurry mess her vision was becoming. Her limbs felt heavy and there was an empty feeling in her chest that she knew wasn't just from the grief. She was _exhausted_ , but she refused to leave Kitty's side.

That was how she stayed, even after Tony was done and gone. He left earlier than usual to attend the memorial and while the way he'd looked at her as he departed told her she should go, he said nothing of the sort. Instead, told her goodbye and gave her a nod just like he always did, and then he was gone. But still, Illyana didn't move. When—not _if—_ Kitty woke up, Illyana would be right there waiting for her.

And for a while that day, that's what she did. She waited. And she waited. She wasn't happy about there being no one else around—why was everyone wasting _time_ on a memorial when Kitty wasn't dead and there was still _a chance to get her back_ —but there was a part of her that was glad for the extra time alone with her.

Unfortunately, that alone time didn't last long. Eventually, the infirmary doors _whooshed_ open to let Dani in. She more-or-less marched over to the back of the room where Illyana was, her stride slowing as she got nearer. Lockheed was curled around her shoulders.

The blonde didn't look up to see them, instead choosing to keep her eyes on the stasis chamber's glass window.

"Illyana?" Dani's voice was gentle, tentative, even. It wasn't her first time dealing with the sorceress after she'd lost someone so important to her, so when Illyana failed to respond to her, she tried again with a tone that was much firmer, "Illy _ana_."

" _What_?" was how she finally answered her, still refusing to meet her gaze. Dani was going to ask how she was holding up, but it seemed pointless. Anyone could see how badly it was effecting her whether they knew Illyana as well as Dani did or not. So she wasn't going to waste their time on stupid questions.

"The memorial's starting soon," was what she ended up saying, a sad smile playing on her lips, "I came to get you."

"I'm not going," Illyana's response was quick. Sharp. Obviously pre-determined. She'd known before anyone had said anything that she wasn't going to go.

"Illyana—"

" _No_ ," the blonde snapped, "I'm not leaving her here alone."

"It'll only be for—"

"No."

"She would—"

"Don't."

"You need to—"

" _Stop_. I'm _not_ going. I'm not going to change my mind," Illyana told her, but as soon as the words were out of her mouth, she felt the familiar prickly pain of Lockheed's claws digging lightly into her skin as his weight suddenly fell on her shoulders. That time, she _did_ look up and she was met with the gaze of a dragon that looked just as tired as she was. He nuzzled his face against her cheek and his hot breath wafted over her skin. His wings flapped as he launched himself up into the air quickly, pulling her up with him against her will.

" _Lockheed_ —" she started, but the rest of the protest died on her lips when she saw just how sad and miserable he looked when he darted in front of her with a authoritative ' _yarp'_. She covered her face with her hands, fingertips bearing into her forehead before she dragged them down her face and pressed them roughly against her eyes instead, like doing it would make them feel any less exhausted. She drew in a deep breath through her nose before letting it out much quicker than she'd taken it in, " _Fine_. Stupid dragon."

At that, Lockheed threw himself against her chest, snuggling into it and forcing her to wrap her arms around him to hold him there. She hugged him tightly and for a moment, she felt tears burning her eyes again but she blinked them away before anything could become of it. Dani reached out, rubbing her hand up and down Illyana's back comfortingly and for once, the blonde didn't fight it. She knew her friend meant well, and it wasn't doing anyone any good to fight. When Lockheed looked up at her again, she managed a very small, very sad smile, "Let's go."

The dragon nodded, crawling back up onto her shoulder as she turned around and leaned down to press her cheek against the glass, "I'll be back, Katya."

Lockheed similarly pressed his forepaws against the glass and cooed down at his friend's face. Dani only watched on in respectful silence, and when Illyana straightened up to leave the infirmary, she trailed after them.

Outside, there were people everywhere but it was Theresa, Kitty’s mother, who approached Illyana first. Everyone else was keeping their distance, saving their condolences for the others. Illyana didn’t mind. 

Theresa had been at the institute for a few days already, but Illyana had been ignorant to her presence until Emma had shown her to the infirmary and Kitty’s stasis chamber. Emma had told Mrs. Pryde everything that had been done to try and rouse her daughter. She had explained that they were still trying and apologized profusely that it had happened at all. Theresa had smiled like Kitty used to smile and had said, with tears in her eyes, that that was how Kitty had wanted to go out, that she had always loved being an X-Man and that she was proud to have her as a daughter. 

Illyana had had to look away. 

Now, however, Theresa didn’t say a word. She just took Illyana’s hand in her own, patted the back of it gently, and lead her over to the seats where the podium blocked the view of most of the statue so neither of them had to see it. Lockheed had his tail wrapped vice-tight around Illyana's neck, and Dani had disappeared.

They spoke of nothing in particular. Theresa would ask about certain people she saw or had spoken to, and Illyana would tell her little things she knew about them -- mainly, how they knew Kitty, what team they were on, and sometimes what their powers were. Still, her responses were short, with no more elaboration than was necessary. She was polite, but that was all. Nevertheless, she preferred Theresa's company over the prospect of having anyone else approach her. Not that many would—few even looked her way, let alone knew the full reason behind why she appeared as despondent as she did. 

Soon, Dani came to sit with her and Theresa, a small platter of various finger foods on a paper plate in her lap and this time she had Ms. Pryde's help in coaxing some food into the blonde. Illyana tasted none of it and she felt sick to her stomach. This was going on too long. Couldn't they just get it over with already? She needed to get back to Kitty.

Finally, however, it looked like people were starting to make their way over to the chairs that had been arranged—or rather, they were being herded towards them. They came with their own food, adjusting ties and costumes and hair as they filed between the rows and found places to sit. Those who weren't X-Men left a few respectful rows at the front for those that had been considered to be family to Kitty and Ororo, Kurt, Hank and the others took their places dutifully. Scott and Emma stationed themselves at the podium and Illyana watched Theresa pull a folded piece of paper out of her bag. A speech, no doubt.

Illyana didn't have one. She wasn't going to partake in the idea that Kitty wasn't coming back. She didn't even listen to the speeches that _were_ done. Instead, she found herself lost in thought and the longer she let herself dwell on the fact that everyone surrounding her had all but given up on her girlfriend's fate, the angrier she got. It festered and boiled just beneath the surface, so much so that her body began to tremble with her growing rage and she didn't even _realize it_.

At least, not until the middle of a speech by Emma when she abruptly stood from her seat. She could feel eyes of strangers and teammates alike bearing down on her as she skirted passed Theresa and Dani, then Ororo and Kurt. She was silent as she found her way to the nearest aisle, storming away from the mass of people and retreating to the doors of the nearest building.

She was done.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With everyone else losing faith, Illyana decides to take Kitty's fate into her own hands

Loss. Commonly defined as the state of being deprived of something that one has had. You can lose a winning streak, you can lose your keys, and you can suffer the loss of old friends to time and distance. But nothing compares to the state you fall into when you lose someone so close to you that they were practically— _literally_ —a part of you. It becomes less of a state of mind, less of an emotion and more of a bottomless pit of black nothingness, hell bent on swallowing you and your entire world whole in one violent gulp. It has no mercy, it does not discriminate. Even the strongest of us, the most fearless of us, can fall victim to its wretched clutches. It is relentless yet scheming, waiting for the right moment, waiting for the time when the strike will affect you the most. And when it does, it is a feeling like no other. Anguish, dread, frustration, “what ifs”, “whys”. And the worst part is that no one can make it better, no one can answer the questions or ease the suffering. And even worse than _that_ is the final realization that, while you hold on to the only part of them that remains, _you_ could have stopped it from happening.

Her eyes were red and swollen, her face blotched and drenched in a mix of sweat and tears, and her entire body ached, her chest was so tight and heavy that she was sure she’d suffocate—but Illyana Rasputin couldn’t cry anymore. Her grief, her sadness…it’d all been replaced by an overwhelming emptiness that left her feeling cold and distant, like she had disconnected from her physical body and was floating aimlessly without it through a never-ending void. Another piece of her soul—perhaps, even, the most important—ripped from her. Kitty Pryde, her best friend, the woman she’d loved since before she knew what “love” really was, was _gone_. Maybe not in a total sense. Her body was still there, but at the same time, was it really? And even so, body or not, _Kitty_ wasn't there. Wasn't conscious. Maybe not even alive. That's what Scott and Emma and everyone else were trying to get her to accept, after all.

It hurt. Everything hurt. Pain was something Illyana had grown used to over her life, but being here, being at the mansion—being in the room she and Kitty had once _shared_ when they were young, and shared on occasion _now_ , it was too much. She supposed maybe she finally understood why Kitty had had to leave her to go to London, to go be with Excalibur after everyone thought the X-Men were dead. Every sight, every sound, every smell and every moment that passed uncovered more reminders of the happiness she finally had, of the happiness she’d lost so quickly that her head was still spinning and Illyana wasn’t sure how much more she could take of it.

Illyana sat in the middle of Kitty's room, legs bent with her Soulsword stabbed into the ground between her knees. Her hands were gripped tightly around the hilt, forehead resting against the cross-guard while Lockheed curled protectively around her shoulders. Her eyes were shut tight, cheeks stained with the last of her tears. Seconds ticked by like hours, hours passed like an eternity. For all her contemplating, there had only been one conclusion she’d come to. She couldn’t stay here. She couldn't bear to see Kitty trapped within the stasis chamber, couldn't bear not knowing whether she was dead or alive, where each moment that passed ignited another fuse of rage within her while also widening the pit of sadness that festered inside of her.

She wasn't going to wait anymore. It was time to do something more proactive, no matter how long it took. Ideally, she wanted to be there when Kitty woke up. She wanted that more than anything. But nothing that anyone else was doing was getting her any closer to waking up and she had had _enough_. If they couldn't find a way, she _would_. It didn't matter how many years she had to jump into the future or the past. It didn't matter how many dimensions she had to cross. She would find a way to bring Kitty back to them.

She abruptly pulled her Soulsword from the floor, banishing it back to whence it came as she stood and turned instead to the closet. Lockheed launched himself off her shoulders as she flung open the doors and bent down to grab a duffle bag from the floor. She tossed it behind her and Lockheed watched with curious eyes as it hit the bed.

Illyana wasn't going to leave without a part of Kitty with her.

She turned back to the excessive amount of clothing within the wardrobe, sorrowful blue eyes focused on the half that contained all of Kitty’s past—and future, the girl was prepared—X-Men uniforms. There were two that stood out to her the most. Or, at least, one and part of another.

First she grabbed for the outfit Kitty had worn during her time on Excalibur, her fingers deftly untying the blue sash from around the waist and instead rolled it around her own arm. Then she took hold of a uniform that Kitty had tried on for her once or twice though never used officially nor in public. Her fingers brushed over the black robe made of silnylon, maybe an odd fabric for clothing but despite what her odd fashion sense might have led on, Illyana knew that Kitty knew what she was doing. Attached to the robe itself was a matching cloak-like hood made of the same material.

Illyana removed it from its hanger, holding it with both hands and bringing it up to her face. She closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath through her nose, taking in Shadowcat’s scent that still lingered there. She felt her chest tighten again, felt the tears that burned behind her eyelids, yet still a small, sad smile crossed her lips. Magik squeezed the robe in her hands before pulling it away and making her way back to the bed where she packed it and the blue sash in neatly. She pulled on the zipper, sealing it partway shut when her attention suddenly drifted to the dresser.

Illyana abandoned the duffle bag once more, this time for Kitty’s jewelry box. She carefully rummaged through it until she found the Star of David hanging on a gold chain—arguably the item that meant the most to Kitty, and Illyana wasn’t going to leave without it.

She closed her hand around it tightly, bringing her fist up to her chest where she held it against her heart. _'I will bring you back to us, Katya.'_

* * *

Illyana found Scott and Emma in the headmaster's office, engaged in a quiet and serious conversation when the bluish-white light flashed to signal her arrival. The duffle bag was slung over her shoulder, the strap held in a death grip by both of her hands like she was protecting her most valuables. In a sense, she supposed she was. Lockheed was perched on the other shoulder.

She had tried to wash her face free of the tears and any sign of that they'd ever been there, but she knew from the sympathetic look that immediately crawled onto Scott's features that her attempts had been in vain. He pushed himself up from his chair, moved around his desk towards her, "Illyana—"

Emma grabbed him by his arm and reeled him back to her, "For heaven's sake, Scott. She doesn't need to be babied, she's a grown woman."

Despite its firmness that kept Scott from arguing, Emma's voice was soft—understanding, even. Something Illyana wasn't used to hearing, and probably not something Emma was used to showing. Under different circumstances, the younger blonde might've made fun of her, but now wasn't the time or the place. Regardless, she was appreciative of Emma's words. After all, she wasn't here to have another talk with them. She was here to say goodbye.

"I'm leaving," She stated simply, her expression showing an indifference that everyone in the room knew was just for show.

"Illyana—" Scott tried again, but didn't have a chance to finish.

"—I'm leaving," she reiterated resolutely. That was all they needed to know. If they knew anything else, they would try and send someone with her. Or worse, they might stop looking for a way to bring Kitty back _themselves_ , and she didn't want that at all.

"It's hard and it's going to take time, but things will get better and eventually, you'll be okay," spoke the man who had had so much loss in his life that he'd accepted it as an inevitable price to pay when involved with the X-Men. He was always prepared, always new the risks. The only thing that made a difference anymore was how unexpected the loss was. She imagined in this case, he was pretty caught off guard. No one had expected Kitty to _literally_ take the bullet.

Illyana could do nothing but shake her head. His words of comfort fell on ears that refused to be fooled by them. Emma placed her hand on Scott's chest, a silent indication that she'd handle it—but Magik cut that short, too.

"Please don't try to talk me out of it," she looked directly at the telepath, "I've made my decision, Emma."

"I wasn't going to, darling," Emma told her, closing the gap between them. It was then, looking into those glacial eyes that had softened since Breakworld, that Illyana realized that she had lost someone, too. Maybe it wasn't as obvious, their outward relationship had been one of hostility, especially in Kitty's last days, after all...but it was there. Teammates, uneasy partners, coworkers—Emma had cared for Kitty. Respected her, even.

Emma was hurting, too.

Illyana remembered the night the X-Men had found her at Benetech Labs, when Kitty had told her the convoluted tale of how the White Queen had become one of them, she had also told her that it was Emma who had asked her to re-join the team. It occurred to Magik, then, that maybe the woman standing in front of her felt partially responsible for the cards fate had dealt Kitty.

Illyana's jaw clenched tightly as she tried to keep up her facade, forcing her mouth from dropping into the frown it so wanted to form. She fought back her tears, bit the inside of her bottom lip to keep it from quivering.

"Everyone grieves differently, Illyana," Emma told her, ignoring the cracks she could see in Illyana's armor. Emma was no stranger to grief, to _loss_. She knew the pain and the suffering. There was nothing on her face but an uncharacteristic understanding that Illyana hadn't realized the woman had in her, "Do what you feel you must."

"Thank you," the younger of the two blondes gave a gentle nod and Lockheed's coos echoed her. Illyana gave Scott and Emma both a sad, departing smile and then with the same flash of light that brought her into the room, she was gone just as quickly.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Illyana travels to Breakworld to extract revenge for those she deems responsible for Kitty's condition.

Kruun’s throne room was filled to the brim with guards, servants, any _thing_ and any _one_ that the Breakworld’s Powerlord demanded in his presence was there. He sat at the front of the room, overlooking his people with an expression as smug as anyone who'd recently avoided the destruction of his planet – and took all the credit for it. Their lives had gone back to normal, especially now that Aghanne and her people had been disposed of. This was a typical day for them – and that's exactly what made it even more shocking when a bluish-white light ignited on the floor at the center of the room, flaring up the split second before it burned outward into a larger circle. From the shining abyss arose Illyana, clad in a black robe, horns protruding from beneath her hood and a red, pointed tail lashing the air behind her. On her shoulder, Lockheed was perched menacingly. Her hood cast her face in shadow, but her eyes glowed an unforgiving reddish-orange that illuminated the devilish look on her face.

The grin of a woman pushed too far. Bloodthirsty. Unforgiving. A woman who wanted _revenge_ and intended to _get it._ A woman the Breakworlders were all too familiar with.

The Breakworlders immediately went on the offensive, weapons raised and trained right on her, but it didn’t faze her. She brought her fist up to cover her heart and in one swift motion, she drew her Soulsword from her chest. The weapon's strange glow flowed eerily from the blade like fog rolling off dry ice and she gripped the hilt tightly in her hand.

" _You_ ," The word was little more than a deep growl from the bottom of Kruun's throat. Good. He remembered her. She stayed silent as she took a step towards him, disregarding the guards that stepped forward to surround her.

" _KILL_ HER!" The Powerlord bellowed, his voice carrying through the large throne room. Immediately, a roar of laser gunfire exploded from all around her. Their efforts were in vain, however, because a ring of brilliantly glowing, vertical portals opened around her instantaneously with another ring of them surrounded her attackers. They swallowed the "bullets" and instead shot them right back at the Breakworld soldiers, taking each and every one of them out with their own weapons.

Once the portals had closed and the guards collapsed, Lockheed tore off of Illyana's shoulder. With a powerful exhale, the small dragon blew out a wall of fire strong enough to scorch the entire next wave, discouraging them from coming any closer. A particularly brave, armored Breakworlder rushed the sorceress from the front, but unfortunately for him, she was faster. A blue orb formed in her palm and when he came within arms length, she thrust her hand against his chest. Upon impact, a beam of magickal energy tore through his body and out his back with a spray of blood, destroying a portion of the ceiling before it dissipated completely. The debris rained down onto another group of Kruun's soldiers, burying them beneath it.

A group of armored soldiers, what Illyana could only imagine are the Breakworld’s version of a kingsguard, closed in around Kruun. He stood from his throne with a smirk and all she could think about was ripping his lips from his face and watching him try to scream as he choked on his own blood. With an inhuman growl, Magik lurched forward. Her sharp talons hooked into the first guard’s neck, ripping across and completely shredding his throat. He collapsed to the floor, a pool of his own blood forming beneath his body. The second faced the same fate after she gouged out his eyes. The rest were taken out swiftly with her Soulsword as she moved between them quickly and fluidly like a dancer would move to a beat.

Now, nothing stood between her and her vengeance against Kruun.

“You’ve come to finish your job?” He asked, unrelenting in his arrogance.

“No,” she replied coolly, a wicked grin spreading across her lips that did nothing to reflect the rage that burned within her gut. She craned her head to the side as Lockheed landed back on her shoulder, his beady eyed stare baring down on Kruun, “only _you_.”

The Powerlord reached for the gun of one of his dead soldiers but before he could get his hand on it, Illyana’s Soulsword sliced through his arm, chopping it off at his elbow. Kruun reared back, howling in pain even as she shoved him back down into the seat of his throne. She locked gazes with Lockheed and with a quick arch of her eyebrow, he flew from her shoulder and breathed a stream of fire directly onto the Breakworlder’s wound, cauterizing it. She couldn’t have him dying from blood loss yet, now could she?

“Our actions have consequences, Kruun,” she told him, pressing the tip of her freezing cold blade against his throat. She used it to lift his head up, forcing him to look at her, “and I’m going to make sure yours are the most excruciating thing you’ve ever experienced.”

Illyana leaned forward and raised a finger with a white flame burning on the tip of it. She held it against his mouth and dragged it along his lips to meld them together. It was a chore, especially with his agonized screams, but those were practically music to her ears anyway. As much as she’d love to hear him scream, though, she couldn’t stand to hear him _talk_ anymore.

With his remaining arm, Kruun lashed out violently, trying in vain to grab her. She dropped her Soulsword to the ground and caught his hand in her clawed one and stared directly at him as her fingers wrapped around one of his much bigger ones. She yanked it back, breaking it with a loud, painful _snap_. His howls were muffled by his permanently closed lips and with a smirk, she broke the next one. Then the next, and the next, and then finally the last. Kruun attempted to scowl at her, but the strangled grunts that escaped his lips with each break completely undone just how dangerous he was trying to look.

“That was stupid,” Illyana told him, clenching her jaw tightly and pressing her lips together as she broke his wrist, too. And she figured she might as well not stop there. She grabbed his bicep and his forearm and in one swift, powerful motion, she snapped his arm backwards right at the elbow, twisting under the bloodied bone jutting out from the wound.

Satisfied, she took a few steps back from him and picked her Soulsword up off the ground. If only his people could see him now. Then it hit her. They _could_. She looked towards archway out onto the balcony of his throne room, a grin returning to her lips. She wouldn’t destroy their world because she knew not all of them were to blame for this. She was a monster, she would never deny that, but she wasn’t genocidal. Instead, she would teach them all a lesson.

“Get up,” Illyana growled, grabbed him by the front of his shirt. She yanked him from his seat and signalled with a tilt of her head for Lockheed to come with her. The blonde dragged Kruun across the room and out onto the balcony where, over the stone railing, she could see the Breakworld citizens going about their daily life like nothing was wrong.

“This is how your people will remember you,” she said, grabbing the back of his head and throwing it against the rail. Then she pulled it back again, watching the blood stream down his face from his broken nose. It seemed like he was determined to suffer in silence now, to refuse her anymore satisfaction, but Illyana wasn’t perturbed, “Broken. Pathetic. _Weak_.”

She gave him a moment or two to really sink in, and then she let go of him and gripped the hilt of her Soulsword in both hands. She allowed another moment to pass, long enough to catch the attention of a few passerbies who gasped in horror at the sight above them. Then she swung and her blade ripped straight through his neck, cutting his head clean off his shoulders amidst a delighted squawk from Lockheed. It toppled over the railing, leaving a trail of blood in its wake and she could hear the distant _splat_ of it hitting the ground. She peered over to the streets below and if the Breakworlders weren’t watching before, they sure as hell were then. Some watched her while others moved in closer to examine the cracked, severed head of their ruler.

Illyana decided she wouldn’t stick around to see what they’d do. She shoved the rest of his body over the balcony and summoned a stepping disc to her feet. Lockheed’s claws dug into her shoulder again as he perched himself there.

“Dasvidaniya*, bitches,” she muttered under her breath and in the next moment, they were gone.

 

* Goodbye - Translated from Russian


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While searching for answers about Kitty's state, Illyana finds hope in an unusual place.

Unfortunately, killing Kruun in front of his people hadn’t brought Kitty back. Illyana hadn’t had to go back to the X-Men to work that one out. After leaving the Breakworld, Illyana had spent the last few months doing everything she could to seek out answers about how to help Kitty. Every once in a while she’d return to the infirmary to check on her condition, but she never stayed for long and never let anyone know she was there.

She spent her time traveling all over Earth and had been to every corner of _their_ universe and had even jumped into others to see what she could find. She’d practiced magicks she had never touched before, meditated for days, and still she’d found nothing. It was frustrating and disheartening, but she refused to give up. She would find away to bring Kitty back to them or, at the very least, find confirmation that it was only temporary. At this point, even if it wasn’t the ideal situation she hoped for, she could resign to that.

When her frustrations and her anger rose too high, Illyana made a temporary stop in Limbo. Nothing quenched bloodlust like slaughtering hordes of demons, after all.

* * *

**Earth-618 || Parallel Universe**

“Katya, please,” Illyana pleaded, tugging on her lover’s limp arms in a desperate attempt to get her back to her feet. They were so close to the Danger Room that she could taste the cold steel in the air, mingling with the metallic tang of Kitty’s blood which had followed them all the way down the hallway and from the upper floors of the mansion as well. Above them, their friends and family were mostly dead, still recklessly trying to fight off the aliens that had invaded their home. Giving their lives so Kitty and Illyana would not have to. The former was currently sprawled on the floor which was already smeared with her blood, tears streaming down her swollen and blotchy cheeks.  
  
“ _Please_ , lapushka*,” Illyana tried again, crouching down just enough to sling Shadowcat’s arm over her shoulders and wrap an arm around her waist to haul her up again. They made it just a little further, Kitty whimpering pitifully with each step, before she collapsed again, pulling the blonde down with her this time.  
  
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she cried, one hand clutching at the blonde’s back while her other grasped feebly at her own pregnant belly.  
  
“You can do it, Katya. Come on,” Magik urged up, trying in vain to pull her up again, “Just a little more.”  
  
“I can’t,” Kitty protested, but let Illyana pull her up anyway. They made it to the door of the Danger Room this time, and Illyana let the brunette lean her weight against the wall as she tried to get it open. Fortunately, despite the destruction elsewhere in the mansion, the controls in the lower levels were still intact, and the doors whooshed open easily enough. She led Kitty inside and sealed them in.  
  
Carefully, she lowered her lover to the floor, wishing she had a pillow to put behind her back or _anything_ else to make her more comfortable. Unfortunately, the cold hard floor was going to have to do. She got down between her legs, pulling Kitty’s bloodied sweatpants down with her underwear and struggling to get both out from under her while Shadowcat sobbed and moaned. Once she had them off and bundled up in one hand, she leaned forward over her, gently sliding her hand under her head to lift it just high enough to wedge the clothing under it. The expression on Kitty’s face did nothing to assure her that it had helped even a little bit.  
  
She was so pale, her scrunched up face glistening with sweat that beaded on her upper lip and forehead and stuck her hair to her face. Her jaw was clenched so tightly that Illyana could see the muscles in her cheeks and the vein that stuck out over her temple. What frightened the sorceress even more than all of those things was the hopelessness reflected in her lover’s eyes, her usual steely determination leaked out of her with her blood. Illyana leaned down to kiss her, to try and assure her in that one gesture that she was going to be okay, that Illyana was going to help her so they would _all_ be okay, but Kitty just pushed her away.  
  
“Get her out, Yana,” she told her, her voice little more than a breath between them.  
  
Bloody hands shaking and her heart pounding relentlessly in her chest, Illyana sat back on her calves between Kitty’s knees. “Placental abruption”, Emma had screamed at her as she had pushed them towards the elevator. “Cut the baby out”, she had said. _Cut_ it out.  
  
By the abyss.  
  
She needed help. She needed a hospital. She needed Kitty to be yelling at her to suck it up and do what she had to, to be teasing her for how weak she was being, for her to have that same dreamy look in her eyes that she had used to get whenever they talked about the baby, before the assassination attempts had started.

Instead, Kitty screamed, her whole body rocked with the violent sobs that seemed to be intent on ripping Illyana’s heart in two. She put her hand on her leg, rubbing her trembling thigh reassuringly because it was all she knew how to do. Everything else she _could_ have done right then, like stepping discing the both of them into the best maternity ward on Earth or casting some kind of spell to make this all okay again, had been deemed as far too dangerous. As if being asked to cut the love of her life open and pray she didn’t cut the baby too, when the only sharp implement she had was her Soulsword, was truly any _less_ dangerous.  
  
She hadn’t looked at any of the pregnancy books Kitty had gotten or the sites she had bookmarked for her on her laptop, especially not the ones about labour. She had figured she’d have time, that there’d be doctors to help her and tell her everything she needed to know as it _happened_ , that she and Kitty would talk about it more in depth as that time neared. She should have known not to be so optimistic, especially after so long with the X-Men. But she had thought, after everything they had gone through, that this one little thing may be able to pass through unscathed. That this one perfect thing might have been able to pass through their lives and still be perfect when it came out the other side.

She should have known better than to let herself think like that.  
  
The people from Breakworld had come. A prophesy, Agent Brand had told them, where the child her lover was carrying would destroy their planet. She had asked that they abort the baby. They had refused, calling it ridiculous despite the insistence of S.W.O.R.D., and all of the Breakworld had come down on their heads.  
  
Now she was going to lose both of them. Momentarily, Illyana wished that they had listened, that they had seen how many of their friends would die for their selfish decision and heeded the warning. That thought was quickly dashed away, however. She had loved their daughter before they had even been sure that Kitty had conceived, that the process had worked. Their daughter had been a part of her the moment she succeeded in finally creating life with her magick. She just wished the rest of it hadn’t had to happen.  
  
It had been so perfect at the start, so much laughing and teasing about getting fat, so many late night “emergency” runs to fulfil the latest bizarre craving—and there had been _a lot_. Kitty had peed herself when she sneezed and Illyana had laughed for days. In fact, she might still have been laughing if it wasn’t for everything that had happened since then. What she would not give to go back and live within those perfect moments for the rest of eternity.

But she couldn't do that, so instead she summoned her Soulsword to her. She thought it should have felt heavier than it did, this damned _weapon_ that stood between her and her child, between Kitty's life and her death. But it felt the same as it always did, solid, balanced, ready to do her bidding.

She leaned over to lift up the loose-fitting, now blood-stained shirt that covered Kitty's pregnant belly. Her lover's chest was heaving with her laboured breath, each exhale a quiet, agonized moan.

Illyana ignored the warm wetness beneath her knees where Kitty's blood was seeping through her pants to bring her Soulsword to her swollen stomach. She had spoken to that stomach so many times, pressed her ear against it and sworn she could hear a heartbeat, even though Kitty had laughed at her and all the others told her that wasn't possible. She had promised her daughter so many things, and had assumed that she herself would be alive to give her everything she ever needed and wanted.

Kitty wasn't going to make it through this. Illyana didn't know how long they even had before the Breakworlders burst into the Danger Room to kill her and her family. She couldn't just take their baby and leave Kitty to die alone, even if it meant saving her daughter. She didn't even think she could take their daughter and go on after Kitty passed. Because surely their daughter would look just like the woman who had carried her, and Illyana couldn't look at her tiny face every day as she grew without thinking about all the ways in which she had failed Kitty. The Breakworlders would probably have a way to track her down, too, and she'd have no way to protect herself and the child from them all—especially when so many X-Men had already fallen.

When Kitty's hand closed over her wrist, Illyana found that her hand had been shaking. Rather than moving forward, however, she sat back.

"Yana," Kitty protested, her expression pained, "There's no other way."

"I have to do something," Illyana told her instead, dismissing her Soulsword from her hand to push herself back to her feet, "I'll be right back, lapushka*."

"Yana," Kitty's objection was plaintive, but Illyana didn't give her a chance to say anymore before a glowing blue stepping disc snapped open beneath her feet and swallowed her whole.

  
**Limbo**

She emerged directly behind her alternate universe counterpart. They were in Limbo, and her younger self looked even worse for wear than she did. The other Illyana hacked and sliced her way through the demonic horde while Lockheed soared above, raining fire down on the ones she didn’t get to first. They swarmed around her like the ravenous, unruly beasts they were and she cut them down at every turn, her hair matted with blood and other gunk she was all-too-familiar with. Her cries were anguished, over what, Illyana did not know.

The younger one was so caught up in her blind rage that initially she didn’t see the flash of light in the corner of her eye. She felt the pull in her gut that told her something was amiss with her realm, but she ignored it until her arm was grabbed and the next swoop of her Soulsword was blocked by an identical one.

Another _Soulsword_.

And another _her_ at the other end of it.

The older Illyana didn’t give her much time to put the pieces together before she summoned a stepping disc below their feet. As they sunk into it’s glowing depths, Illyana held her counterpart’s gaze, meeting bewilderment with determination.

  
**Earth-618 || Parallel Universe**

Kitty was screaming when Illyana returned to the Danger Room. She was propped up on her elbows, her head fallen back against her shoulders and her back arched in obvious pain.

Seeing this instantly drained all the fight out of the _other_ Illyana's body. They fell together to Kitty's side.

“Katya?!” the younger one exclaimed.

The older one was smoothing back her lover's damp hair with one hand while she positioned herself back between her legs. "We need your help," she explained simply.

"Katya—"

Illyana interrupted her before she could get anything more out, "Quiet. We don't have much time. Sit behind her."

The younger of the two scrambled to do as she was told, sliding her body carefully in behind Kitty's so that her legs were on either side of her body and Kitty's head rested against the front of her shoulder. There was no time for her to dwell on the fact that this was the first time she had seen her beloved in what felt like forever, or that there was another version of _herself_ sitting just on the other side of her body, a bare few feet away. _And_ Kitty was obviously pregnant, and in pain. Possibly giving birth? In the _Danger Room_?

As if sensing the questions on the lips of her alternate self, Illyana explained,"The Breakworlders are after us. They prophesised that our daughter would destroy their planet, and now they've come for her. The X-Men are above, fighting."

_Dying._

"They're not going to stop until Katya is dead, our daughter with her."

_And me._

"I'm going to cut her out of her and you are going to take our daughter away and keep her safe."

" _Cut_ her out?" the younger Illyana repeated, incredulous.

"There have been complications."

"You'll _kill her_!"

Another wretched sob from Kitty punctuated the air, and she groped for _her_ Illyana's hand to hold onto.

"I'm dead... anyway," she got out, a strangled gasp breaking up her words.

Illyana wouldn't meet the eyes of her younger self, and instead concentrated on trying to work out exactly where the baby was inside of her lover. She couldn't feel anything besides the distressing hardness of her stomach. But the fighting outside was getting closer, and it was now or never. She moved Kitty's hand over to that of her younger self and the brunette squeezed until Illyana's hand turned white and she couldn't feel her fingers anymore.

Kitty tried not to scream, she really did.

When it was over, the younger Illyana moved dutifully out of the way as Kitty was presented with her wriggling, screaming daughter wrapped in _her_ Kitty's cloak. She was too weak to hold it herself, so Illyana's older self did it for her, cradling both Kitty and her daughter against her own body as the brunette's life faded quickly. Any attempts to stop the bleeding had been futile, and though Illyana could imagine that she would be in a great deal of pain, the briefest of smiles lit up the brunette’s face.

Then she was gone.

The older Illyana closed her eyes and swallowed hard, maneuvering backwards carefully with the child in her arms until Kitty was eased down onto the floor. When she opened her eyes again, it was to look down at the abruptly-quiet newborn in her arms. She smiled at the child as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Her mourning was only momentary, and when she averted her eyes from her daughter's tiny body, they were determined. On her knees, she held the infant out to her younger self.

"Her name is Nadya Illyanichna Pryde. Take her back to your world and your Katya. Keep her safe," her voice was authoritative, and the younger Illyana had no choice but to gently ease her arms in under the child and take her to cradle against her own body.

She knew what her older self was doing. Unfortunately, that didn't change the facts. There was no Kitty to take Nadya back to.

"That's impossible," she said, the usual coldness that came with talking about Kitty was gone now. In the presence of another version of herself, she felt safer, more _comfortable_ about letting her feelings show.

At the confused incline of the older Illyana's head and the dip in her brow, she elaborates, "My Katya has been stuck phased and unconscious for months. Everyone has done everything they can and nothing works. Not even I've been able to fix it." She hadn't given up and didn't intend to, but right then that was all she could say. And after witnessing the death of this universe's Kitty, her throat tightened as she added, "We don't even know if she's still alive."

The older Illyana was quiet for a moment, letting that news wash over her. She didn't appear surprised, only resigned and so very, very tired.

"She’ll wake up," she eventually said. They weren't the words of someone who would say anything to reassure a friend. The tone she used was certain, like she was predicting the future, or had already lived through the event herself. Illyana knew that she would never lie to herself like this.

And with those words, the younger blonde felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. The future had been very bleak before, completely unimaginable without Kitty. She never once thought to peek into her _own_ future, because if there was a chance her lover wouldn’t be there, she didn’t want to know. With every day that passed the fog that clung to her future and to Kitty's had become even denser. Her determination at the beginning had kept most of that cloud away, but lately it had become completely impenetrable even though her unwillingness to yield to Kitty’s supposed fate had never waned.

Now, with those words, it dissipated. Not all of it, because she still didn't know _when_ this would be, it could be tomorrow, or in a year's time; and she didn't know what state her lover would be in when she did wake up, but shafts of sunlight pierced through that darkness, finally.

And then there was the baby. Nadya. She had Kitty's beautiful, warm brown eyes and a few wisps of brown hair on top of her head. And she was so tiny and fragile in her arms.

Abruptly, she remembered the dreamworld Emma had given _her_ Kitty. Them, with a baby. She had been called Nadya, too. She saw in her mind's eye how Kitty's face had looked when she told her about their child, illuminated with joy despite the circumstances they had found themselves in, and the ones that had brought that dream to her in the first place.

Her chest tightened and she didn't know whether she was happy or sad.

The other Illyana's hand fell heavily on her shoulder, and the younger one tore her eyes away from the infant in her arms.

"You have to go," she told her.

Instantly, Illyana became aware of the fact that someone was hammering on the Danger Room door. The whole wall was shaking with the blows, and there was a terrible screeching like someone was trying to cut through the metal with a sword. It was only a matter of time before they found their way in. The older Illyana had her Soulsword ready, but it wasn't to fend off any attackers.

"There is nothing here for me anymore," she said in the way of an explanation.Without Kitty, she had nothing. There was the baby, but the Breakworlders would follow her to the ends of the Earth and beyond to get a hold of it. If they found her, they would torture Nadya's whereabouts out of her. But if she was dead, they would never know where the baby had disappeared to—provided that they didn't catch sight of the second Illyana now.

That was how far she would go to protect her family.

“I’ll take care of her,” Illyana assured her and gave her older self a departing nod as she opened a stepping disc beneath her feet. There was nothing else to say, and anyway, the other Illyana’s eyes were on the bundle in her arms. Her gaze was so intent that it was like she thought she could will her child into living the happiest life imaginable.

And then both her younger self and her daughter were gone, and she pushed her Soulsword through her abdomen.

When the Breakworlders ripped through the Danger Room door, they were faced with two lifeless bodies and two pools of blood large enough to explain their deaths. While half the horde roared in triumph, the other half did so in frustration. Their battle had been ended for them, and now their lust to take the lives of those who had started it would never be sated.

The army’s commander wasn’t so easily fooled, however. The slice in the mother’s stomach was too convenient, the skin there too saggy, her womb too hollow. He wasn’t an expert on human physiology, but others back on his homeworld would be able to tell them for sure whether the child lived or died.

The war would continue from there.

  
*Sweetheart - Translated from Russian


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Illyana returns to Earth-616 with Nadya and Lockheed in tow, but not everyone is happy to see her.

Illyana’s stay in Limbo was brief. She had told her other self that she would take care of the child and she intended to do just that and in _order_ to do that, she had to go back to the X-Men. The child was safer there. Besides, what else could she possibly do now that she had a newborn to take care of? And who else did she know that could help, and would accept her abruptly turning up with an infant? No one, that was who. So, she returned to Limbo just long enough to grab Lockheed.

The dragon was quite clear on how he felt about her having left him there alone, and the wriggling infant in Illyana’s arms only made his abandonment worse. She didn’t have the time for any of his shit, however, and after she made sure the child was wrapped comfortably up in her cloak, she simply grabbed Lockheed by the tail and forcefully dragged him down with her through her stepping disc.

She knew from her previous visits to check on Kitty that the X-Men were no longer at the mansion in Westchester. Sometime after she had left, they’d relocated to San Francisco and then from there had later migrated to their new island home off California’s coast. Illyana had been to the infirmary many times but it had always been when no one else was around. This time, she deliberately made sure that someone else was there when she arrived and when she rose from her portal on the floor, it was directly behind Hank McCoy.

He was hunched over his desk, sitting on a metal stool that looked uncomfortably too small for him, yet he didn’t seem to bothered by it. He was examining a computer screen, though Illyana didn’t know nor care what he was looking at. But he seemed to feel the sudden disturbance in the room and his blue, furry ears perked up and he looked over his shoulder—

“Oh my stars and garters,” he gaped, pushing his too-small spectacles up his nose. Illyana didn’t waste time with pleasantries and instead crossed the room to him while Lockheed took off to examine Kitty’s stasis chamber over on the other side of the infirmary.

“Hank,” she said in the way of a greeting, brushing the makeshift “hood” off the baby’s head and revealing her to the Beast. Nadya was still awake, her warm brown eyes blinking despite the near-blindness of newborns. Even so, either because her face has been revealed or because she somehow sensed the abnormal appearance of the man looking down at her, one look at his feline face had the child in tears, her tiny features scrunched up and red with the effort it took her to cry _that hard_. Illyana’s eyes widened and she drew Nadya back in closer to her chest but she continued to flail her little fists and kick her feet. She had no idea how to take care of a crying baby; even more reason for her to be with the X-Men.

“Oh my stars and garters,” Hank repeated, so struck dumb by the sight. Rather than recoiling from the wailing newborn, however, he stood from his seat, his large furry feet bare against the cold white floor, and quickly closed the distance between his workbench and Illyana. Under his spectacles, he peered down at the squirming, screaming bundle as if closer examination would shed any light on this situation. It didn’t.

He looked back up at Illyana’s face, “You have a newborn child. _Why_ do you have a newborn child?”

“It’s a long story,” she told him. And to be completely honest, she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to tell it. It was bad enough living it in the moment, retelling it was something she didn’t intend on doing, “Her birth was very traumatic and I want to make sure she’s okay. Can you do that?”

“I’m not an obstetrician, Illyana,” Hank reminded her, but the Russian’s expression told him that she wasn’t overly concerned by that fact. Beast sighed and held his arms out for the infant, and when Illyana carefully handed Nadya over, he looked even more uncomfortable and unsure of what to do than she herself had felt. “I need you to tell me how long ago the child was born, and the nature of this so-called ‘traumatic’ birth.”

“It was only a few minutes ago,” Illyana said, much to Hank’s confusion. She kept going, adding bluntly and without further explanation, “She was cut out with a Soulsword.”

“Cut out of _whom_?” Hank wanted to know. He was already at one of the tables, unfurling the cloak from around Nadya and carefully setting her down.

“The mother.”

Hank was not amused. He turned back to her, his slightly-darker-blue eyebrows raised, “I’m going to need a little more than that. How far along was the mother? Why did the child need to be cut out?”

“I don’t _know_!” she snapped, suddenly hit with a flare of anger and frustration at the other mutant. She blew out a quick, heavy breath from her nose, forcing herself to calm down.

“Tell me what you do know,” the male pressed, though his tone was much kinder this time.

 

“I’ve already told you everything,” she insisted, moving in closer so she could see the squalling child. She’d only had her for less an half an hour and she was already ill at ease with letting her out of her sight.

“Alright,” Hank sighed, “Get me a fresh blanket from the cupboard over there, and a container of lukewarm water. I hope this cloak wasn’t important to you.”

Illyana did as she was told and as Hank worked, she planted herself down on the metal bench next to Kitty’s stasis chamber. The brunette still looked the same as every other time Illyana saw her, but now that her other reality self had given her a spark of hope, her expression as she gazed down at her unconscious lover wasn’t as grim. Kitty was alive and she would wake up. The blonde didn’t know when or how, but she supposed it couldn’t be all that much longer. Their parallel worlds were obviously different, but yet still eerily related. In this one, it had been Illyana that was prophesized to destroy the Breakworld. In the other, it was her daughter. But the other Illyana had been confident in her words and had obviously been through something similar with her own Kitty, so she had no choice but to let herself believe her. She _wanted_ to believe her, anyway.

It wasn’t much longer before Emma came storming in, the heels of her pristine white boots clacking loudly against the tile underfoot. Illyana could only guess that Hank had alerted her to Magik’s presence telepathically, and given that the White Queen would have found out sooner or later, Illyana couldn’t be too upset. But if Illyana had thought that Emma would be as understanding now as she had been when she had so abruptly left the X-Men, she had been mistaken.

“So the prodigal daughter has finally decided to grace us with her presence and with a _child_ , no less. _Why_?”

“Ah, Emma, splendid timing,” Hank turned away from one of his many computer monitors, his hands clasped together, completely unperturbed by the telepath’s attitude and giving Illyana no chance to explain, “I believe I have just discovered the answer to that very question. While I was running other tests, I had the computer compare the child’s DNA to that of all the people we have on record. Hers was a match for both Kitty and Illyana. She is inarguably their child.”

For a long moment, Emma simply stared directly at Hank, then her gaze shifted to Illyana. With an exasperated roll of her eyes, she pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and index finger, “We have S.W.O.R.D. breathing down our necks about your whereabouts and you come back after being missing for _months_ with a _baby_. Please tell me you did not _kidnap_ your own child from some alternate dimension or conjure one out of thin air to fill some kind of void in your life.”

When Illyana remained silent, staring at the older blonde but not speaking a single word, Emma berated her, “Oh for heaven’s sake, Illyana!”

“It’s a lot more complicated than that,” was all Illyana had to say, her eyes trained on the child in question instead of the other woman. When she didn’t elaborate, it only frustrated Emma further.

“I’m not going to play your games. _Why_ do you have a child?”

“It would be easier to show you,” Illyana’s attention finally left the child, turning to Emma instead. A slight lift in her eyebrows was the only other indicator to what she was asking of the telepath. Most people knew her mind as an impenetrable fortress, something not even Charles Xavier himself could ever get into on his own. Most didn’t know that getting into her mind was even possible. Her mental blocks weren’t taught to her like most of the others, they were a side effect—or a blessing in disguise—of her darker half. They were natural.

Her gaze locking with Emma’s glacial one, Illyana willfully dropped those blocks and with a single thought, she mentally laid the events of the last twelve hours out for the telepath to ‘see’. Being pulled from Limbo by another version of herself and taken to parallel timeline. Assisting said version of herself in helping the Kitty of that timeline give _birth_. Watching that Kitty die. _Everything_.

She watched as the cool and collected facade that Emma normally kept steadfastly in place slipped. The White Queen’s eyes grew slightly rounder, and her perfectly painted lips pressed together into a thin line. “I see,” was all she had to say, “Do you intend to look after the child yourself?”

“Da.”

Without another word to Illyana, Emma turned towards Hank, who could only look on in confusion, no more knowledgeable about the situation as he had been before. “Henry, Illyana is to have all the supplies and assistance that she requires. Formula, clothes, a crib. Whatever a newborn needs, she will get. We will discuss the rest later.”

Now that the mystery of the child’s birth had been solved, Emma was back in X-Man mode. She glanced at Illyana, “S.W.O.R.D. is on their way here. You have five minutes to clean yourself up and meet the rest of us in the war room so that we can prepare for Agent Brand’s arrival. Henry will find someone to look after the child.”

Illyana didn’t even need to ask. She knew exactly what they were coming for. So with one last glance towards the baby—towards _Nadya_ —she nodded, “Okay.”

*           *           *

“Alright,” Scott sat at the head of the table in the aptly-named war room, his forearms on the smooth surface in front of him. Logan, Emma, Hank, and Illyana herself—with Lockheed on her shoulder—occupied the seats nearest to him. There were at least that many more seats left unoccupied, but Illyana was glad for the smaller council. After a few brief greetings, and comments about Nadya, they had gotten right down to business. Illyana couldn’t have expected anything else.

“We know why Agent Brand is coming. You murdered Powerlord Kruun in front of his own people, and the Breakworlders are demanding justice,” Cyclops explained, “Brand has been badgering us about your whereabouts ever since, and she was forced to promise the people of Breakworld that you would be dealt with as soon as you could be located. There will be representatives from Breakworld with her when she arrives, to make sure she does so.”

“Brand has made promises to us as well. You are to remain on Earth with us under the pretence of life-long incarceration. Anything less, and the Breakworlders will attack. They may not have their missile anymore, but they have soliders. Without a Powerlord, the Breakworlders are disorganised—but vengeance for their leader’s death will give them something to rally behind. We need to be as compliant as possible, however justified we think Kruun’s death actually was.”

“Wish I had been the one to do it,” Logan snorted.

“What about Nadya?” was Illyana’s only concern, ignoring Logan.

“She’ll be with you,” Emma assured her and on the slight, confused inclination of Illyana’s head, the telepath continued, “We’re only making them _believe_ you’re being incarcerated. Agent Brand agreed to it so long as _no one_ knows you’re free and word of it can’t get back to the Breakworld.”

“You’ll have a cell in the X-Brig, and Brand’s team has designed a jacket for you which will detect any attempt to use your stepping discs, and will detonate if it does so. You’ll be escorted to this cell and placed in the jacket before S.W.O.R.D. leaves. Once they’re out of the atmosphere, we’ll take the jacket off you and disarm it, and you’ll be released from the cell,” Scott elaborated, “But, apart from a select few, you won’t be able to be seen to be free on Utopia in case word reaches the Breakworlders. You’ll have furnished rooms below the X-Brig, where you and Nadya will be able to live.”

“Will I still be able to see Katya?” was her next question, and she could feel Lockheed’s small claws digging into her shoulder like he was anticipating the answer, too.

It was Scott that answered, “We can have you escorted up to the infirmary. You’ll have to wear the jacket.”

Content with that answer, Illyana nodded.

Barely a few moments of silence passed before Emma abruptly announced, “Agent Brand has arrived.”

Hank was the first on his feet, pushing his chair back from the table, “We best go meet her.”

“I’ll stay with the kid,” Logan offered.

And he did. Scott, Emma and Hank weren’t gone more than a few minutes, and when they returned it was with Agent Brand, another S.W.O.R.D. agent, and two agitated Breakworlders unrecognisable to Illyana. They sat on the other end of the table, and Emma and Hank put themselves strategically between Illyana and the Breakworlders.

“Illyana Rasputina,” Brand started, all business as usual, with her gaze locked on Magik’s, “You’ve been charged with and found guilty of the murder of Powerlord Kruun. As per our agreement with Breakworld, you’ve been sentenced to life imprisonment. The only alternative is execution.”

It was straight to the point and there was nothing much else left to say, so the meeting was over just as quickly as it started. Illyana was fitted into the harness and her arms were bound to one another with large, metal cuffs that clasped around her wrists and forearms. The cuffs were linked back to the vest by a tube, which she supposed meant that the vest was set to explode if she attempted to break out of those, too. Then, she was escorted down to her cell in the X-Brig by Scott, Agent Brand, and the two Breakworlders.

The cell was incredibly small with little to no room to even walk around it. There was a single ‘bed’, if it could even be considered a _bed_ , with nothing else but the cold, white walls. When they urged her inside and she sat down on the thin mattress, Scott was the one to close it up. A press of a button on a side panel outside of the cell saw a strange, transparent pink plasma grow across the opening like slime oozing over a flat surface.

The Breakworlder’s, apparently as satisfied as they could be considering that Illyana’s wasn’t yet _dead_ , walked away, grumbling between them in their gruttal language which Illyana could not nor wished to understand without the translator they had worn on their planet.

When they were out of earshot, Brand stepped up to the cell, her voice low when she said, “You should have just blown up their whole planet. Would have been a lot easier.”

“I got what I wanted. He got what he deserved,” Illyana said calmly, “That’s all that matters.”

A very small, almost invisible smirk curled Brand’s lips, “Enjoy motherhood.”


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weeks after Illyana's return to Earth-616, Kitty finally wakes up. But all is not well.

When Kitty awoke the first time it was only for a few seconds. Just long enough to force her eyes open before she was pulled back under again.

When she opened her eyes the second time, it had felt like only a few seconds had passed, yet something told her it had been much longer. She teetered on the edge of consciousness, strange, muffled, _muted_ memories stirring and blurring together in her mind’s eye. Try as she might, she could not grasp a single one of them to force into clarity. She got an impression of grief and desperation, but nothing else. She didn’t know who she was, she didn’t know where she was beyond the coffin-like tube she found herself in. And suddenly she felt very, very claustrophobic.

Panic set in, and Kitty thought she could feel her heart hammering in her chest and her lungs gasping for air, but on closer inspection none of that was happening at all.

Was she dead?

She tried to scream but no sound came out, tried to move but couldn’t feel her body beyond the sudden, inexorable pain.

She didn’t remember passing out, but suddenly she was awake again. More time had passed, she knew, and this time she could feel her limbs, could feel her chest and her heart mercifully beating away. She knew her name started with a... K? Or was it an S? She knew she had done something. She could remember feeling determined, then triumphant, then weak. Then... this.

Her mind scrambled for the details, but as they started to crystallise she shied away from them in fear and let unconsciousness take her once again.

The fourth time she woke up, she knew exactly who she was. She was Kitty Pryde. Shadowcat. She had saved the world by phasing into a bullet that would have cracked the Earth in half, then phasing said bullet _through_ the Earth. Already sick from passing through Breakworld’s strange metal, the strain had been too much.

That much was as clear to her as it would have been if it had happened yesterday. What she didn't know was where she was now. The _why_ and the _how_ she had gotten there. What was this strange box she was in?

It wasn't the bullet, because the bullet had been much much bigger and pitch black. Here, there was a window over her face, a strange, dim white glow emanating from somewhere outside of it. It reminded her of the infirmary back at the mansion, or a airplane after they dimmed the lights to try and coax everyone into sleep.

 _Was_ she in the infirmary? Yes, she thought she was. That made sense. She had passed out, and they— _Illyana_ —had gotten her out of the bullet and they had taken her home. World saved. Mission accomplished.

But why was she in a _box_?

Tentatively, she lifted a hand to the window in front of her face, felt its surface to be cool to the touch, yet, also warm? She frowned at that, but forced herself to remain calm. If it was warm it was because her body was heating it. If it was cold, it was because there was nothing heating it from the outside.

When she tried to phase through it she couldn’t. She _couldn’t_. It wasn’t that she was too weak or too tired or had somehow forgotten _how_ , but the molecules in her body refused to merge with that of her containment chamber at _all_.

She felt normal. Solid. Human.

She would have laughed at that last thought and the echo of Emma's scathing voice calling her "baseline" if she hadn't already been freaking out.

What had happened to her powers? Where was she? Who had done this?

Why had they put her in a _coffin_?

She wasn't dead. _No no no no_ she was not dead. This wasn't what death was supposed to look like. She wasn't supposed to be trapped in some metal box conscious and alone. She was supposed to be in Heaven. Or just... _gone_.

The open hand she had pressed to the window turned into a fist. Her other hand joined it, and together they banged on the glass. She was yelling too, but still no sound gave rise to her words.

Was there something wrong with her ears?

She didn’t know and she didn’t want to ponder it, so just kept hammering away. She could hear _that_ okay.

Someone would come. She was not dead. Illyana would hear and she would come. _Someone_ would come for her and get her _out_.

*          *          *

The next morning, when Tony Stark entered the infirmary and peered down through the tiny, rectangular window on the stasis chamber as he did every morning, he found that his patient had moved.

Instead of laying on her back, as she had been for _months_ , she was now on her side, curled into herself as much as the narrow space would allow. He would have sworn that she was crying, too. Her shoulders were certainly shaking enough for it.

How long had she been awake for? How long had she been awake and not able to get out of the chamber they had locked her in?

 _How_ was she awake?

He tapped two fingers against the glass and watched as her face jerked around to stare up at him. Her lips seemed to form his name, confusion evident in the knot of her brows. Behind her pink and blotchy cheeks, however, hope, _relief_ lit up in her eyes.

Tony held up a finger and mouthed, "One second."

She nodded quickly, seeming to understand what he was doing. His face disappeared from view and a pressurised whooshing sound hissed from beside her. The metal over her head was lifted away as more lights flickered on on the ceiling. A mottled darkness swum over Kitty's vision as her eyes adjusted to the suddenly overwhelming brightness, and she pushed herself up into a sitting position as it cleared.

 _Too fast._ The darkness returned, splashes of red mixed in, forming a brief nightmare world on the back of her eyelids.

Tony's voice was muffled and far away, distorted so badly that she could not make out his words. Her head spun and the room did with it. She tried to breathe slowly in through her nose and out through her mouth, but it felt like nothing was reaching her lungs. There was no slightly cool rush up her nostrils, and suddenly her chest ached as if someone very heavy had just sat down upon it.

She laid down, oblivious to Iron Man's hand passing through her body. His voice as he yelled down the phone in his hand sounded to Kitty like someone trying to yell underwater, and it lulled her back into the the blissful darkness.

The next time she stirred, it was to the sound of hushed, urgent voices coming from somewhere very close.

"She's still phased?" one voice, distinctly male, was asking. It took Kitty a second to recognise it as Scott's. Her heart leapt at for his familiar, purposeful way of speaking and for the mostly warm, pleasant feelings that it elicited. That voice meant _safe_.

The door above her body was open again, left that way in case she woke up again, she assumed. The ceiling of the infirmary was instantly recognizable so any doubts she had about her actual whereabouts were dismissed.

"I tried to grab her when she fainted, and my hand when straight through her," replied a voice that could only have been Tony's.

"Did she say anything?" Hank inquired next.

"She didn't have a chance. She sat up too quickly, I think. Head rush, and then she was out again."

"At least we know she's alive. _Finally_ ," Emma remarked, an unspoken insult carried in her words. Kitty could imagine her crossing her arms and tapping her foot, and the thought made her smile.

That seemed like the perfect time to make herself known, and Kitty opened her mouth to do just that. "So you do have a heart," she wanted to say, a triumphant grin already ready to go for such a good comeback and the expression she could already visualize on Emma's face, but the words didn't make it out.

She felt her lips move, her uncomfortably dry tongue forming the words in her similarly dry mouth, but no sound came out.

"We'll keep someone watching her at all times," Scott decided, and she ached to tell him that that wasn't necessary, that she was already awake. She could have tried sitting up again to get their attention, but after what had happened last time, she wasn't so sure that was a good idea just yet.

"I'll do it. Shoulda never have left her down here alone anyway," Logan grumbled, "Wakin' up like that..."

"Logan," she tried to say, but to no avail. Not even a whisper of air escaped her lips for his enhanced senses to pick up on.

Why couldn't she speak? What was wrong with her? What had happened?

Where was Illyana?

She could feel herself panicking again, but at least this time she knew she wasn't dead. Just invisible.

"We're a team," Scott was saying, "We'll take shifts."

Suddenly, a face appeared above her head. A furry, blue, instantly recognizable face. Hank. This time, she did try and sit up, as if her open eyes and the expression on her obviously-not unconscious face wasn't enough to tell him that she was awake. She could not bear the thought of him somehow not seeing her, of being overlooked, of them possibly leaving her there alone again.

His protests were loud, his large hands reaching for her body, to support her, to help her, only to pass right through. Other faces appeared as well—Emma, Scott, Logan, Tony. All exclaiming different things that were lost in the blood rushing past her ears, all leaning in to help her with wasted efforts. They could not touch her. But somehow, _somehow_ she managed to grab the lip of her stasis chamber to hold herself up.

She gasped for air like she had just pushed herself from the bottom of a bath where she had been trying to hold her breath as long as possible, where she had been separate from the world, present but somehow separate, where all the sights and sounds of reality had been distorted so that they were barely distinguishable as what they were.

Everyone was silent again. Astonishment was written all over their faces and she opened her mouth to say "Hi", but again, sound did not give rise to her voice. Their eyes grew wider.

"Kitty," Iron Man spoke first while the others gathered their wits, "Do you know where you are?"

"Yes," she mouthed, her words simplified, lips movements exaggerated to make sure they would understand, "Infirmary."

She gestured to her mouth, "Voice?"

Instead of speaking, Tony reached his hand out to her, his fingers moving towards her face, to touch her forehead. Kitty stayed still, her eyes straining up to watch their progress. They passed right through her head like she was some kind of hologram, and she felt sick.

Tony retracted his hand, "Can you solidify?"

Kitty could feel her heart beating wildly in her chest again, and thought that felt solid enough. Her thoughts raced by at a hundred miles an hour, mostly consisting of _'This can't be happening'_  and _'Not again_ ' in some form or another. She couldn't meet anyone's eyes and see the concern reflected in them—and slight dip in Scott's eyebrows above his glasses that betrayed his worry—so she looked down at her own body. _'Traitor_.'

"Give the kid some space," Logan was telling the others, ushering them backwards and out of her face.

Kitty shook. Just a little at first, the quivering starting in her lower lip, but it quickly radiated out to her shoulders, then down her arms and back. She didn't know how she could hold onto her tube but not be able to be touched. She didn't know why she couldn't speak. She didn't know what had happened or why this was happening or what she had possibly done to deserve it. She had saved the world, hadn't she?

"Kitten," Emma tried, and from the corner of her eyes Kitty saw her perfectly manicured hand come to rest beside where her own clung helplessly to her stasis chamber, not touching, because she couldn't, but there.

The brunette couldn't look at her.

"Get Illyana."

*          *          *

Illyana was sleep deprived. Nadya had kept her up all night with her screeching, mind-numbingly loud wailing. How a tiny baby could make so much sound, the blonde didn’t know, but she had spent what felt like hours trying to get her to stop. It was during all that that she had felt the very soft tug at her soul. The link had been so dead for so long that even as weak as the feeling was, it had shocked her.

_‘Katya.’_

Her first thought had been to teleport to her, because if her lover _was_ awake, or close enough to it, there was no where else she wanted to be but by her side. But Nadya was still screaming, and the feeling faded as quick as it came. It didn’t even leave an _impression_ behind, making Illyana doubt that it had ever been there to start with.

She was imagining things, wanting Kitty so badly that in her frustrated, half-asleep state, she had imagined just for a second that she was here with her.

Now that she wasn’t, it only hurt all the more and even after her daughter had stopped crying, she had laid awake in her too-warm bed, wishing Kitty was there to brush her freezing feet against her legs, to wrap her arms around her and whine about crying babies like they had on their way to Russia.

After weeks of being back, of being alone in her rooms below the X-Brig, of being marched to and from the infirmary every day and seeing how _not awake_ her girlfriend was, any hope she had had that Kitty would wake up and come back to her soon had been chased away.

At some point, she slept, only to wake two or three more times. Not because Nadya was crying again, but because some part of her kept imagining that Kitty was there. She could practically _feel_ her, and every time she opened her eyes or shifted backwards on the mattress, just to make sure, disappointment crashed around her and she was left feeling empty and even more alone.

By the time morning came and she forced herself out of bed to feed Nadya, she was despondent.

Nadya was in her arms, suckling at the bottle of formula she held for her, when the feeling came again. This time it was stronger, and Illyana just _knew_.

Kitty was awake—she could _feel_ it. She felt it deep inside her, the sudden pull that was unique to the link she shared with her lover, the same one she had been feeling on and off all night, but someone how substantial. So substantial, that it instantly chased away all the doubt she had had about the feeling.

She was _awake_.

*          *          *

It was Scott that made the journey down to the secret levels below the X-Brig, where Illyana was living with her daughter. He carried her disarmed detonator jacket with him, knowing she would have to wear it back to the infirmary, in case someone saw. He had no delusions about how fast the news of Kitty’s consciousness would pass through the school, and given that Illyana was frequently escorted to the infirmary to visit her in her stasis chamber, Scott didn’t think it would raise too many eyebrows—as long as she wore the jacket.

It had been ten minutes since Illyana had felt it the last time and all she could think about was— _why had no one come for her yet_? Her jaw clenched tight and her hands were balled into fists so tight that they trembled and each second that passed brought her closer and closer to disregarding every single part of the deal they’d made with S.W.O.R.D. by teleporting _herself_ up to the medical bay. Nadya would be fine. She was asleep in her crib and Illyana could send someone down to watch her once she was up there with Kitty. She wasn’t going to sit down there and wait for one of them to decide when it was time to come get her. That wasn’t their decision to make.

She was ready to do it, too, when the pressure-lock door _whooshed_ opened to let Scott inside, her harness in his hands. She immediately froze in her tracks and turned to stare right at him, blue eyes wide and urgent.

“Take me to her, _now_ ,” she demanded, closing the gap between them.

At the aggression in her tone, Scott held his free hand up as if to plead his innocence. How Illyana knew, he didn’t know, but asking seemed to be a bad idea right then. He held the jacket out to her, “Put it on.”

Illyana was quick to pull it on and impatient as she waited for Scott to secure it onto her. He clasped the cuffs around her wrists and locked them together, then his hand went to her shoulder.

“Get someone to look after Nadya,” Illyana told him, “I don’t want to overwhelm Katya with her yet.”

“Emma will send someone,” Scott assured he after a few second long delay, in which the blonde guessed he had asked the White Queen to do just that, telepathically. Content, Illyana started toward the door. Scott followed behind her, close enough to make it look like the X-Men had some semblance of control over Magik, but not close enough to crowd her.

The infirmary had never seemed so far away as it did then. Not when she hadn’t visited Kitty in twenty-four hours. Not even when she had to be escorted back from visiting Kitty to her rooms, where she’d be alone again—except for Nadya, of course. It took a lot of effort for her not to give up on walking completely and just teleport there like she’d been planning to do anyway if Scott hadn’t showed up. Each step only made it seem farther and farther away because she wouldn’t be close enough until she could see Kitty with her own eyes and know that she was finally okay.

Turning the corner of the hallway brought the infirmary into her line of sight. The walls were mostly made of glass so she could see straight into it as she walked. Even so, at first, she couldn’t see Kitty at all; everyone else was in the way, surrounding her. Logan, Emma, Hank. But when Hank stepped off to the side, she finally saw her, sitting up in the stasis chamber she and Dr. Strange had made for her, her arms wrapped loosely around her bent legs. Seeing her there, alive, _awake_ and moving on her own, brought a smile to Illyana’s face that hadn’t been there in so long that the feeling actually felt foreign.

Kitty had been anxiously glancing at the door, waiting impatiently for Illyana to arrive, when she finally did. Scott wasn’t far behind her, but Kitty had eyes only for her girlfriend. She rose gracefully to her feet as if drawn up by some indescribable force, a coil slowly decompressing, but her eyebrows were knitted together over a face that crumpled as if to warn the world that she was about to cry. She didn’t want Illyana to see her like this. Unable to speak, unable to even step out of her bed and run towards her and throw herself into her arms. Even in front of the whole team, she would have done it, if only she could.

As soon as the infirmary door shut behind her, Illyana broke away from Scott completely to cross the room to where her lover stood. Even given that Illyana usually stood well taller than Kitty, the height of the stasis chamber meant that the top of her head was barely level with Shadowcat’s chest. She had to tip her head up to look at her, the smile still firmly in place despite the look on Kitty’s face. Still, there was concern reflecting in her eyes even if her words showed none of it.

“Katya,” she breathed, the relief evident in her voice, as she reached up to touch the brunette’s face,“I’m so—”

She cut herself off when her fingers passed through Shadowcat’s cheek. Her smile fell as she withdrew her hand and clenched it back into a fist. The look that passed over Kitty’s face was one of despair. Without even looking at Scott, she called back to him, “Take this off me.”

Cyclops hesitated for just a second, but even that was long enough to have Emma cluck her tongue at him, “Darling, let her out. We’ll have plenty of time to put her back in the jacket before S.W.O.R.D. arrives.”

With a nod of agreement, Scott made his way to Illyana side and started unfastening it. The cuffs snapped apart and popped open, freeing her arms, and she did the rest by simply shrugging it right off her shoulders, Kitty watching on with a look on confusion all the while.

Illyana’s silver eldritch armor formed over her body, starting with her neck and climbing down her shoulders, arms, over her torso, to her legs and finally her feet. This time, when she reached, she was able to cup the other woman’s cheek in her hand, “Katya?”

Kitty closed her eyes and leaned her cheek into the cold, metal glove covering Illyana’s hand and willed herself not to cry. The others had only had time to tell her a little of what had happened while she’d been in her coma, and not much of it was making sense, least of all why Illyana had been locked up and why she had been strapped into that harness. No one could even tell her why she couldn’t unphase, and Iron Man’s answer had been halting and confusing until it had been drowned out by everyone else’s voices, as if they didn’t want her to know what he had to say. She hadn’t even been able to ask them to slow down or elaborate on anything.

She heard Logan clear his throat and heard chairs scrape against the floor, and she guessed the others were moving away to give her and Illyana some space. Distantly, she was grateful, but her most pressing need right now was to be _solid_.

When she opened her eyes and took her head out of Illyana’s hand, it was to gesture at her mouth, shrug helplessly, and mouth, “No voice.”

Illyana felt a tightness in her chest and a re-ignited gladness in the fact that she had tortured Kruun until his final moments, humiliating him in front of his entire people. He paid for doing this to Kitty. It was that alone that kept her rage at bay. But Kitty was _alive_ , that was what mattered. She had been stuck phased before and she had regained her solidity; Illyana had no doubts that it could be done again, even if the look on her lover’s face didn’t seem so sure. The brunette had always been a little overdramatic, after all.

Wordlessly, Magik wrapped her arms around Shadowcat’s waist as her armor crawled up to her face from her neck, forming a headpiece over it that only allowed for her eyes, nose and mouth to be seen. She pressed her cheek against Kitty’s abdomen and let her eyelids fall closed, “We’ll fix this.”

Kitty could only nod wordlessly as her arms wrapped around Illyana’s armored head and she squeezed her against her chest.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite lingering uncertainties over Kitty's condition, there is room for a little hope.

“How was she fed?” Dr. Kavita Rao demanded, the brown eyes behind her rectangular glasses wide with skepticism. It was as if the fact that Kitty was alive was not proof enough that she had survived the experience, but given the lack of acknowledgement the doctor awarded the brunette and the way she spoke as if she _wasn’t_ standing within two feet of her, in _easy_ earshot, maybe she really was ignoring the evidence.

She had been called in two days after Kitty had woken up, after Hank and everyone else’s best efforts to explain her continued intangibility had failed. For one of the so-called leading experts in the mutant genetics, Kitty thought her contribution so far had been pretty lousy. But, then again, her opinion may have been swayed by the fact that she still held Dr. Rao accountable for what had been done to Illyana whilst everyone had thought she was dead.

“She wasn’t. She had no food or water, produced no waste matter, and neither her hair or fingernails grew. We still aren’t entirely sure whether she continued to breathe throughout the three months,” Hank explained. Kitty couldn’t tell if the way he was rubbing the space between his eyebrows was in frustration with Kavita, or over the fact that they still didn’t have an answer.

Kitty could sympathise with both of those possibilities. For the last three days she had been moved back and forth between the tube she stood in now, and the stasis chamber that she had spent the last three months in, and still no one was any closer to explaining what exactly had happened to her, and why she wasn’t able to solidify. It probably didn’t help that they couldn’t run any tests on her _while_ she was phased. They couldn’t take any blood samples or check her pulse or even take her temperature. They had tried cutting off a piece of her hair using magickally-altered scissors in order to examine if there were any changes in her DNA, but that had proved completely inconclusive. She disrupted any CT scans she was run through, or else the magick used to keep her inside the scanner did, and the X-rays had shown not a single bone—as if she really was a ghost.

She was getting tired of watching and listening to the scientists beat their heads together over all the _hows_. She just wanted to be solid again.

“What about her heart? Was it beating? Were there any eye movements? Did she make any sounds?” Dr. Rao’s questions were as relentless as those all the others had asked, but Kitty supposed that apart from the team of S.W.O.R.D. scientists Brand had sent, she was the only one who had any right to ask them. Everyone else, Hank, Reed, Tony, had _been_ there. They already had all the study notes, and yet they had been just as fruitless in their attempt to find an answer that held up.

“We had no way to measure her heart rate, and no one noticed any movements or sounds. Given that she’s unable to make any verbal sounds now, I’m inclined to believe that that is a consequence of her intangibility. As sound is produced by the oscillations of vocal cords and vibrations through a connecting medium, it’s likely that in this state, Kitty’s vocal cords simply have no effect on the air, resulting in us being unable to hear her as much as her being unable to speak.”

“But she can hear us, correct? So the vibration _we_ cause are still able to affect the bones, hairs and fluid in her ears,” Kavita pointed out.

Hank grimaced, “That is something I have no explanation for, other than to suggest that there is a kind of one-way mirror effect happening, where Kitty is affected by the world but unable to affect it herself, which makes little sense if she is wholly intangible.”

Kavita seemed as satisfied as she could be with that, at least. It wasn’t the main problem, after all, though a better reason may have been able to shed more light on the predicament. She was only contemplative for a few seconds before she put her theory forward, one that Kitty had heard countless times before, from numerous mouths.

“Considering the events Katherine experienced prior to succumbing to the coma-like state you’re describing, I would propose that it was the result of an acquired brain injury. That could have occurred from the excessive use of her powers, or from the pain you reported she experienced when she passed through any material on Breakworld, which may have been doing damage to her body—and brain—at a cellular level. That damage could also be effecting her control over her mutation now. As we can’t run any further tests, it is impossible to tell whether this is the correct explanation. And it still fails to explain how she is alive today when she had no sustenance to speak of while in that state.”

Hank was like a voice recording, the way he rattled off his reply to that.

“I admit that before Kitty awoke, I was unsure of whether she was alive at all anymore, or if she ever had been. But now that she has regained consciousness and nevertheless _appears_ healthy while still not experiencing hunger or dehydration, I believe her sustained... existence, for lack of a better word, is more to do, again, with her intangibility. It appears that she is able to sustain _herself,_ somehow.”

Kitty really wished they would move on from the _how she was alive_ to the _how to fix her_ already. It had only been three days and she was already tired of the no-eating, no-drinking, no-sleeping, no-talking, no-touching routine. She was quickly discovering that with those restrictions in place, there wasn’t much else to do in a day, and even more day to not do anything in. But while Hank may have been right about her feeling no hunger, that didn’t mean she had no desire to eat. Putting _anything_ in her mouth would be better than doing nothing.

The tube they had her in wasn’t even interesting. It was glass all the way around, magickally reinforced so she could neither walk out or fall though, and it was so tall and narrow that her shoulders bumped against it whenever she so much as shifted her weight. Kitty thought they could that least have set up a television screen for her, like they did on the back of car seats, or even propped one up in front of the tube. At least that way she could have tuned out the useless drabble and caught up on the TV she had missed.

A TV would have been a nice way to keep her thoughts occupied, too. All too often did they turn to what-ifs—the main one being, _what if she was stuck this way for good?_ She didn’t want to think about what her life would be like if that was the case. It had been bad enough when she was younger, when Moira had had to keep her from deteriorating to the point where she would cease to exist at all. The techniques Dr. McTaggert had used then hadn’t worked this time, and neither had the molecular reintegration device that Reed and Dr. Doom had used to return her to solidity then either.

Kitty didn’t know what was worse, the prospect of her atoms slowly drifting apart until she was no more, or the idea of living the rest of her life—possibly longer, because how would she ever die?—unable to touch or speak. Three days of that had already been enough. She supposed the fact that she wasn’t dead _yet_ , even after three months, was a good sign, but it could only console her so much.

She didn’t want to die. And she didn’t want Illyana—or anyone—to feel obligated to stay with her for the rest of her days if she could never be what she had been before.

Thinking about those two roads stretched out before her, as she had done last night, had revealed to her one other thing she _could_ do. She could cry. It was a decent way to relieve the frustration that came from being so completely helpless, and the loneliness that resulted in only being able to use wild, exaggerated gestures to communicate. But it also only exacerbated those feelings, and when she was done, she only had her hands to use to wipe her face.

Now, she tried her best to clamp down on those thoughts whenever they stirred within her, but given how much time she had on her hands, they nevertheless remained unfortunately frequent.

When she tuned back in, Hank and Kavita were still talking, and it was all things she had heard before. If it was brain damage or she had simply forgotten how, the only way for her to regain solidity was to train—which was completely impossible unless training involved her sitting in her stasis chamber and thinking really hard about being solid, and she had done enough of that already. No one could force her to become solid, given that no telepath could enter her head; and her brain damage, if it existed, couldn’t be healed unless she was able to be touched. No one had been able to come up with anything else, apart from the space-suit like get up that Tony and Reed were working on, which would merely act like a skin-tight version of the tube she was currently in, and which would theoretically allow her to speak.

Kitty would believe that when it happened.

*           *           *

In the lab down the hall from where Kitty was being held, Illyana stood front and center with the suit that had been specially designed for Kitty’s current predicament. Her eyes were aglow with a bright blue that matched the light emitting from her fingertips as she ran them down the suit. She started at the neck and down the arms, then around the torso and back, to the legs and feet. The fibers of the outfit glittered like electricity moving through a circuit, the only physical indicator that her enchantment spell worked even though she herself had no use for a visual cue. She could feel the magickal energies radiating from it and it didn’t matter if anyone else could tell or not, not even Tony and Reed.

They may have been some of Earth’s greatest scientific minds, but she would always be their superior when it came to magick; they had no right or place to question her. In way of helping Kitty’s actual condition, they were useless. All of theirs and the other’s attempts to not only bring Kitty out of her coma, but restore her to solidity as well, had failed. She may not have made this suit herself, but it was her enchantment that was going to make it functional and she knew Kitty would be glad to have it.

She knew her lover was growing increasingly frustrated with being unable to speak or touch things or even leave the containment tube or the stasis chamber and by the abyss, Illyana was tired of it, too. Not because she wanted to be able to speak with her, to finally hear her voice again and to touch her without using her armor, but because she didn’t want to see Kitty like that anymore. She wanted her to be truly happy again, wanted her to be able to recover, and for Illyana to be able to finally show her their daughter.

There were multiple reasons why she hadn’t done it yet. First of all, she wanted to do it while the two were alone together, where she could properly explain the entire situation. Although Magik knew she could have very easily brought the infant up to the infirmary and done it there, she also knew that revealing Nadya to Kitty while she couldn’t hold her would only upset her. It was getting difficult trying to explain why she had to constantly leave and come back when there were no S.W.O.R.D. agents on Utopia and no real reason why Illyana had to be in her cell. More than that, she hated having to effectively _lie_ to her lover about it. She didn’t think Kitty would hold it against her, but it didn’t make her anymore comfortable with it. Not about something this big and this life-changing.

Still, she couldn’t deny that the idea of seeing a _smile_ on Kitty’s face when she met Nadya beat the hell out seeing the disheartened frown that would come with the brunette being unable to hold her. It was worth the wait and almost, _almost_ worth withholding the truth. Even if, within the suit, Kitty wouldn’t be able to feel how soft and warm her skin was, or smell that deliciously _clean_ scent that she had come to realize babies had—they weren’t _always_ stinky. She would at least be able to feel her weight in her arms, and that had to be better than nothing.

With the suit finished and enchanted, there was no reason for her to wait any longer. Gripping it tightly in her hands, she turned to the door. The trip down the hall to Tony and Reed was delightfully short and when the pressure-locked doors _whooshed_ open before her, she didn’t even bother to fully step into the room.

“The suit is done,” she told them, but when both men eagerly stood from their seats, she simply shook her head. Tony opened his mouth to protest, but before even a sound could leave his lips, Illyana quickly interjected with. “No. I’ll take it to her. There’s no need for you to come with me.”

And she was pleasantly surprised when they relented without any further arguments. It was just as well, too, because with this huge step forward for Kitty being just within her reach now, she didn’t much feel like sticking around to fight with them. They would argue, she would send them somewhere they wouldn’t want to be, and then she’d have to listen to everyone’s yelling about how she “isn’t supposed to do that” and she just didn’t have time for that. It was better this way, with them staying quiet and letting her do what she wanted to do.

Walking down the hall, she could see that the infirmary room where Kitty had been residing for the last few months was empty save for the woman in question. The doors parted to allowed her inside and she barely managed to get two steps in before she raised the suit up for Kitty to see, a grin spreading across her face.

Kitty was sitting in the bottom of her containment tube, where Hank and Kavita had left her while they went to the lab. But at the sound of the infirmary doors opening, she lifted her gaze from the floor. Just seeing the excited look Illyana wore lit up her own features. She climbed to her feet, her palms pressed eagerly against the glass as her girlfriend walked towards her.

“Step back,” Illyana told her, motioning with a simple forward tilt of her head. She pressed the button just off to the side of tube and after a few moments’ delay, the lock released and the glass door slid open. With a deep breath through her nose, her Eldritch armor formed over her body like it did every time she came to see her lover here and she took a step closer to the small, enclosed chamber. She propped her foot up on the bottom of the door’s threshold, the suit held securely in both of her hands, “I’ll help you put it on.”

As much as she didn’t want to get her hopes up that the suit would work, Kitty was already itching to try it—just in case it _did_. She didn’t waste any time reaching for it, and when her hand closed around the material as solidly as any other piece of clothing she would normally handle, the relief she felt was profound. It swelled in her chest as she took it from Illyana’s hands, lifting it up herself, holding it against her body to make sure it would fit.

The fabric didn’t feel much different from how her uniform felt, if a little thicker. Other than the fact that it would help her be _solid_ , theoretically, her favorite part was the color—yellow and black, just like her uniform. She didn’t know whose idea that had been, but she was grateful for it nonetheless. The arms were long, not ending until they formed gloves, just like the legs went straight into boots, with the feet made of tougher rubber. What looked like a hood-come-pull-over-mask hung from the neck, and there was a heaviness around the collar, a metal device she guessed would help give rise to her voice. Cautious, she made sure not to touch that with any part of her body, in case she shorted out whatever electrical device was going to make it work.

Once her appraisal was done, Kitty raised her gaze to meet Illyana’s again, her smile even bigger this time. She gestured at the stasis chamber behind the blonde and it didn’t take a genius to figure out what Kitty wanted. So, Illyana took no time to reach out to her girlfriend with both of her arms, bracing herself for the added weight.

Kitty didn’t resist as Illyana lifted her up, her suit clutched tightly in one hand when she wrapped them around her lover’s neck. Her legs lifted too, wrapping around Illyana’s waist for added support. Carefully, Magik carried her across the room to the stasis chamber they’d kept Kitty in while she’d been unconscious. She hoisted her up until she could put her feet down on the floor of it and then she, too, climbed up into it.

Kitty caught herself before she could try and verbally organise their efforts. Instead, she had to make do with gestures and _hoping_ they knew each other well enough by now that Illyana would understand. Holding the suit up by its shoulders, she held it out to her girlfriend. The Russian took it, holding it up at roughly the same height at which Kitty stood, intently watching for the next cue.

For now, that was all Kitty needed from her. She pulled the zipper down in one fluid motion, rested one hand on Illyana’s armored shoulder, and tried to step in to the suit. It was clear almost immediately that it wasn’t going to be that easy. She was still wearing the same uniform she had worn on Breakworld, boots and all, and there was no way they were going to fit inside the suit.

With a silent huff of irritation, she stepped back, thinking it might be better if she not only took her shoes off, but the rest of her uniform as well. She had been wearing it for far too long already, and though it was comfortable enough, the opportunity to get out of it was appealing.

Abruptly, Kitty sat down on her ass, bending her knees so she could yank her boots off one at a time. Her feet seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. But, as soon as she put them down, she realised with a start that she wouldn’t be able to put them back on—she couldn’t even touch them. Somewhat dismayed but not completely put out, she pushed herself back up her her feet to rid herself of the rest of her uniform.

Despite the fact that any of her teammates—or even Tony or Reed—could walk in to the infirmary and see her stripping down to her underwear at any moment, Kitty was more concerned about where _Illyana’s_ gaze was. As she shrugged the spandex from her shoulders, she was hyperaware of their proximity, and found herself absolutely powerless to stop the self-conscious blush that lit up her cheeks and spread out across her collarbone.

Illyana wasn’t as fussed about it, and even though an amused smile twinged at the corners of her lips, she didn’t tease the other woman—though she did _think_ about it—and instead chose to ignore the red hue her lover’s skin had taken. “I can help you,” she offered, her head tipping to the side to emphasize her question.

Slowly, almost _shyly_ , Kitty lifted her face to Illyana. A grin crawled across her lips, and her eyebrows lifted as if to say “go on”. The blonde hung the suit over her shoulder and turned her attention to Shadowcat’s uniform. Armored fingers tugged the zipper as low as it could go, and then she grabbed the end of one sleeve and tugged to pull it down her arm.

Although it theoretically shouldn’t have been any harder to get out of her uniform now than it _usually_ was, Kitty was glad for the help. Having Illyana undress her, even if there wasn’t anything sexual about it, was undoubtedly the most intimate they had been able to be since she had woken up. It made everything seem just a little more normal.

Kitty shook her arm out of the first sleeve, and managed to yank her other one out of the second, then she lifted both of her arms up as if to surrender the rest of the work to her lover. Illyana gladly took over from there, gripping onto the sides of the uniform that were already hanging loose around the brunette’s waist. She slowly lowered herself down to her knees as she peeled the material over the curve of her ass and then down her legs until the uniform was in a pool at her feet. Yana tapped the side of the older girl’s leg, a silent indicator for her to step out of it. With her hands on the blonde’s shoulders, Kitty took the hint, sliding one foot out at a time until all she was left in was her underwear.

Illyana raised back up to her full height and pulled the suit from over her shoulder. She held it back down to Kitty, her eyebrows lifting as a way of silently letting her know that she’d continue to help if she needed it.

This time, when Kitty tried to step into the suit, she was much more successful. It was tight, but no more so than a pair of skinny jeans would be, and given that she was going to have to live in the thing, she was glad. The tighter it was, the closer she would conceivably be to actually touching people.

Once both her legs were in, she shimmied the material up her waist. The speaking device clunked against her body, and she winced, half expecting it to go right through her. But it didn’t. Illyana had done a good job.

She managed to get it all the way on herself this time, and made sure she had comfortably arranged her underwear inside it—she didn’t want to be walking around with a twisted bra strap, or worse, a wedgie, for the rest of however-long-she-had-to-wear-this-thing. When Kitty was done, save for the mask, she turned around to present the zipper at the back to Illyana. The blonde pinched it between her fingers and tugged it up, sealing her girlfriend inside of the suit.

She stepped away from her to give her more space to turn around then, a broad, toothy grin forming on her face, “How does it feel?”

Without the hood pulled up, the speaking device still hung somewhat loosely around her neck, and Kitty had to lift it up to position it in front of her mouth. She licked her lips and felt her stomach constrict with nerves. She wondered if she should say something more meaningful, given that these were the first words Illyana would hear from her for _months_ , but Kitty’s mind was suddenly blank, and all she could do was answer the question, “It’s good.”

Her voice was echoey and metallic because of the microphone she spoke through, but it was still _her voice_ and it still made Illyana’s chest swell with relief. She let out a soft, breathy laugh to go with the wide grin that tore across her face and lurched forward, wrapping her arms around her lover as tightly as she could, “I am so glad you’re back.”

Kitty had to squeeze her arm out from between their bodies so she could wrap both of them around Illyana, and she was conscious of the fact that she hadn’t covered her face yet, but she still hugged the blonde back just as tightly. It didn’t last long though, because she wanted the _full_ deal.

She lifted the microphone up to her mouth again, “Get rid of your armor.”

Smile still firmly in place, Illyana complied without a moment’s hesitation. Her armor drew back from her fingers, up her arms and over her shoulders while simultaneously crawling up her legs and up over her waist, returning to its mysterious origin in a matter of seconds and Illyana much to her delight, she found that Kitty was still solid in her arms.

Kitty pulled back to give herself just enough room to pull the hood up over her head and position the mask over her face. Her hair stuck out on the sides, and she hoped Illyana would be able to magick her up an elastic later, but right now she couldn’t care less. She closed the distance between their bodies again and tucked her head into the groove between her lover’s neck and shoulder. Her voice cracked when, into the microphone now properly positioned at her neck, she said, “Better.”

They stayed that way for a long time, simply soaking in each other’s presence, in what it felt like to hold each other again. Even though Kitty had her voice back, there was no need for words, and they let a comfortable silence linger between them, interrupted only once by a choked sob that caught in the brunette’s throat and made Illyana tighten her hold on her.

But eventually, without pulling away, the blonde spoke up. “Katya?” She started, as if there was really a need to get her attention first, “There is someone I want you to meet.”


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally free from the infirmary, Kitty meets the little one who's been usurping most of Illyana's time.

> **Author's Note:**  Finally, in our thirtieth chapter, after 118k words, we have realised the prompt that kicked it all off:  
>    
>  _Imagine your OTP being reunited after a long period of time, and Person A has a child with them._  
>    
>  But don’t worry, there are still plenty more chapters where those came from! We’d love to hear more feedback from our readers too, so hit us up with your comments at the end of the chapter!

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All the way down from the infirmary, with Kitty’s arm linked in hers because they couldn’t hold hands with Illyana’s restraints on, Illyana couldn’t help but think about how long she’d been waiting for this. Ever since Kitty had regained consciousness, the blonde had been itching for this moment—for her lover to meet their daughter. It was an odd situation, that was for sure, and she was sure that an infant wasn’t what Kitty was expecting, but that hardly mattered anymore. They’d been in stranger situations and this certainly would not be the last. They were X-Men, after all.

Dani met them at the doors to Illyana’s living quarters in the lowest levels of the facility and removed the blonde’s restraints. She tucked it under her arm and shot a greeting smile and nod to Kitty. Then, she pointed a finger right at Magik’s face and with a tone that was more playful than it was serious, she said, “Never again, Rasputin. Never. Again.”

“You said that last time,” Illyana pointed out with a grin, and after a short laugh between the two, Dani told them goodbye and headed toward the elevator. The Russian turned to Shadowcat and held up a single finger, “Wait here.”

Kitty did as she was told, as hard as it was to let Illyana out of her sight now. She had gotten more and more curious on their walk down to the sublevels, and while part of her had wanted to stay above ground—to take in the fresh air and the fact that she didn’t have to be carried anymore, to explore this _island_ they were all living on now, and to see people she had missed—she had to resign herself to doing all that later. Whatever Illyana had in store for her was obviously important, even if Kitty thought it was a _little_ weird that whoever the blonde wanted her to meet was down in her rooms.

Illyana crossed into the next room, quietly hoping Nadya wouldn’t make a sound because while technically she wasn’t meant to be a _surprise_ , she’d rather her not make a ruckus until Kitty could _see_ her. Fortunately, she got what she wanted because the infant was too preoccupied with the blanket she had gripped in her tiny fists to acknowledge the sound the door made when it opened.

With a warm smile on her lips, the blonde reached into the crib to lift her out, wrapping her up in the blanket as she did so. With the child cradled in her arms, she inhaled a deep breath through her nose and walked back into the front room.

At first, Kitty didn’t realise that the bundle Illyana carried was a baby. She could only see the blanket. Where was the person Illyana wanted her to meet? But then Illyana took a few more steps towards her, and she saw it.

Panic rose within her. She hadn’t been gone for _nine_ months, had she? She was sure Hank had said it had only been three. And she was pretty sure that Illyana wouldn’t have… she wouldn’t have found someone while she had been in a coma, right? No, surely she wouldn’t have. Not with a guy. Not with _anyone_ else.

“Why… _how…?!_ ”

She stumbled over the words, her gaze darting back and forth between Illyana and the tiny child in her arms.

Illyana hadn’t just _stolen_ someone’s baby. No way. They wouldn’t let her keep a baby down in the sublevels if it wasn’t her own… and no one would just let her _borrow_ their baby. _Dani_ had been there. Looking after it while Illyana had been helping her.

At least she knew why the blonde had been disappearing so frequently now.

“It’s...a long story,” Illyana admitted after a moment of hesitation. Time hadn’t really made the events of _how_ she got the child any easier to talk about. Watching another version of Kitty die right in front of her and then leaving that world with the baby girl she swore she’d protect, knowing that her counterpart was about to take her own life...it was all still so fresh in her mind. Nadya squirmed in her arms and the blonde brushed the blanket away from her head so that Kitty could see her face, “Her name is Nadya Illyanichna Pryde and she is ours.”

“ _How?_ ”

Illyana exhaled deeply and motioned to the couch with a tip of her head. The brunette followed her over to it and they both took a seat, Magik holding the child close to her the entire time.

“When you were unconscious, I left for a while. I went to find a way to fix everything and bring you back, but I ran into a lot of deads ends until another version of myself brought me to her timeline. There was a lot of chaos and death there. The X-Men were dead or dying to protect that world’s Katya and her unborn child. The Breakworlders there...their prophecy didn’t name _me_ as their destructor, but our _child_ ,” She took a moment to let her lover take that in, letting her gaze drift down to the infant in her arms. Kitty didn’t need the details of their deaths, so she kept it short and simple, “Our counterparts didn’t make it, but _she_ did and I promised I would take care of her.”

“So she’s ours, but not really ours,” Kitty clarified. Staring straight ahead rather than at Illyana or Nadya, she nodded slowly, for her own benefit rather that anyone elses, as she let all that sink in. It was a _lot_ to ger her head around.

Still, it wasn’t long before she dragged her gaze back to the baby. It was difficult _not_ to look at her. Even with the slightly yellow tinge to her eyes and the pinkness of her flesh, she was gorgeous. The way her tiny fingers curled around the edge of the blanket she had been wrapped in, the way she moved her lips as if she hadn’t learned to chew with her mouth closed, and the thin down of brown hair over her head… it wasn’t _normal_ , how she had come to them, but she was theirs.

Kitty felt her eyes fill with tears, and though she tried to blink them back, the tightness in her chest wasn’t going to let them abate that easily. She couldn’t pinpoint exactly why she was crying, but she would guess that it was partly about the suit working, partly about still not being completely solid, and partly because there was now a _baby_ and she couldn’t even hold her properly. Because she might have brain damage, because she might never be solid again, and because all this _stuff_ had happened without her now. Just _because._

Illyana saw the tears, but didn’t have time to speak or try to console her because as soon as her mouth opened, her attention was grabbed by the child in her arms again. This time, she was reaching for something and it took Magik a moment to realize just what she wanted. She was reaching for _Kitty_.

“Katya,” the blonde said, repositioning her arms around the baby so she could hand her to the other woman, all the while Nadya’s arm stayed extended, still reaching for her and the look on her tiny face let Illyana know she wasn’t happy with how long it was taking her to get what she wanted. Yana held the infant out for her girlfriend to take, “Take her.”

Nadya’s face was getting all scrunched up, her mouth wet and grimacing as best as she _could_ grimace without teeth, and even though Kitty’s vision was swimming with tears she could barely see through, the last thing she wanted was for the baby to cry, so she held her arms out. She got Nadya’s head resting on her bicep, and cradled the rest of her tiny body in her gloved hands as she brought her against her chest.

Illyana scooted closer to her and wedged her arm between the back of the couch and Kitty’s shoulders. She peered over her to look down at the child who had gone back to contentedly squirming and kicking her feet. Magik turned her head just enough to look at Kitty, “Don’t cry, Katya,” her voice was soft, becoming more assuring when she added, “We’re going to fix this. I’m not going to stop trying just because you’re awake, you know that, right?”

“I know,” Kitty nodded again, trying vainly to blink back her tears. Instead, one of the hot droplets ran down her cheek, pooled on her chin, and dripped down into the bundle in her arms. Fortunately, it hit the blanket rather than Nadya, but there were more where that came from. She leaned against Illyana’s body, tipped her head down onto her shoulder, and sobbed.

Illyana turned her body enough to wrap her free arm around Kitty’s, embracing Nadya along with her. She pressed a kiss to the side of her lover’s head hard enough to know she felt it through the suit she wore. They had a lot of work ahead of them, but Illyana found it hard to be _sad_ when her best friend was _alive_ and could at least walk and hold things on her own now even if it _was_ with outside assistance. She was grateful that she was _here_ after being separated from her for so long.

She would have stayed like that for as long as Kitty needed her too if it weren’t for Nadya having different ideas. The child didn’t seem to like being enclosed between the two of them because it wasn’t long before she felt two tiny feet kicking against her chest. At first she ignored it, figuring it was just the infant getting excited about something or other again, but when the kicks got harder and more determinedly frequent, Illyana pulled back a bit. The look of effort on the baby’s face had the blonde smiling again and she grabbed both of Nadya’s feet in one hand. She tried to keep kicking, but when Yana’s grip prevented that, she started flailing her little fists around instead, easily pulling them out of the blanket.

Kitty was having a hard time just keeping the infant _in her arms_ with all the movement, so she did the only thing she could think to do. Still seated, her body made small, jerking bounces while she cooed down at the infant in a way that was supposed to be soothing. She could feel a few more tears making tracks down her face, so she looked helplessly over at Illyana, cringing.

“You’re doing fine,” Illyana told her quietly, finding it a little ironic that _she_ of all people was telling _Kitty_ that she was doing fine with a child. She always told herself she would be an awful mother because of what she was, that she’d be no good with them and even worse at trying to raise them. She still had her doubts, of course she did, but between Kitty’s condition and actually taking care of Nadya by herself, she hardly had time to sit and dwell on it anymore.

Nadya only confirmed what Magik had told Shadowcat. The infant seemed perfectly happy with the situation. Her big, brown eyes stared up at Kitty, completely fascinated by her. Her lips came together and the soft sounds coming from her mouth turned into pleasant little gurgles. One particularly messy one saw a tiny spit bubble forming and consequently bursting, and Illyana couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped her throat. Kitty found herself smiling, too.

“Nadya,” the brunette repeated the name, feeling the weight of it on her tongue. Belatedly, it dawned on her, and her gaze shifted from the bundle in her arms to look accusingly at Illyana instead, “Like in the dream world Emma put me in. Did you name her that?”

“I knew you’d think that,” the blonde told her, twisting slightly where she sat so she could wrap her arm around Kitty tighter and pull her a little closer, “I didn’t. They did.”

She didn’t want to move too much with the infant in her arms, couldn’t tuck her legs under her and lean against her chest like she so wanted to, but Kitty made do with leaning back against Magik’s arm, “It suits her.”

“Da,” Illyana reached out, letting her fingers brush over the child’s forehead, pushing her wisps of hair back, “It does.”

“So, this whole time,” Kitty started, a more genuine smile forming on her lips, “Whenever you told me you had to leave but didn’t tell me why, it was because you were seeing another woman?”

Magik actually snorted a laugh at that. She wasn’t in a position to playfully shove the other woman, so she opted to lean her body against her enough to tip her over without making her fall completely.

“Careful!” Kitty objected, though there was laughter in her voice. With some effort she managed to right herself, Nadya wiggling precariously as she did. She shoved her elbow into Illyana’s ribs, “You’re a mother now, you can’t just go pushing people around. It sets a bad example.”

“She doesn’t even know her hands from her feet yet,” Illyana argued back, a grin on her lips, “I can still push you around.”

“Not while I’m holding her,” Kitty reminded her. Her grin only grew wider when she tacked on at the end, “Mom.”

For that, Illyana leaned into her again and withdrew the arm she had underneath Nadya to wrap it around Kitty’s midsection instead. It was with a laugh that she corrected her, “ _Mama_. You are ‘mom’.”

“What if I don’t want to be ‘mom’?” the brunette raised her eyebrows.

“Too bad,” Illyana told her, pressing a kiss to her cheek that was less affectionate than it was playfully condescending.

Shadowcat let an amused rush of air out of her nose, and rolled her eyes. When her gaze inevitably drifted back to Nadya, her smile fell away, turning her expression thoughtful. She was silent for a few moments, and then, “This is going to take a lot of getting used to.”

“You don’t have to tell _me_ that,” Magik reminded her. She rested her chin on her girlfriend’s shoulder, letting her eyes fall to her daughter’s face, “It’s...new and it’s different. And it’s hard sometimes. But I’ve...I have never felt the need to protect someone as much as I do with her. She’s just as much mine now as she’d be if I had her myself.”

Kitty had to agree with that. She hadn’t been holding Nadya for long, but already she felt a sense of ownership of her, yet still, “I never thought I’d be a mom this early. There’s so much I wanted to do before I had children and now… this is for the rest of our lives. This _is_ our life now.”

“I never thought I would be a mother at all,” Illyana leaned back into the cushions but her arm stayed securely around the other woman, “I had never _really_ thought about it, either. Not until you told me about your dream world.” A thoughtful frown tugged at the corners of her lips, “I never expected this. I didn’t know if I _wanted_ this. How could something like me raise an innocent child? But I couldn’t just say no. I couldn’t let her _die_.”

“We won’t,” the brunette assured her with certainty, “It’ll be crazy, but we’ll make it work. And this time you won’t let anyone take her from us.”

“I would kill whoever tried,” Illyana said, the tone of her voice leaving no doubt of whether or not she truly meant that, “I would _die_ before I’d let anyone take her, Katya.”

“As long as you leave me a piece,” the other woman wagered.

“Of course.”

A smile alighted on Kitty’s face once more, “Good. So… The others know you have a baby down here, right?”

“Yup,” Illyana told her with a tight, quick nod, “They thought I stole her.”

“I thought you had cheated on me at first,” Shadowcat confessed sheepishly. Illyana scoffed, torn between amusement and actually being offended.

“I would never,” she finally said, firmly and completely serious, “You know that.”

“I do,” Kitty agreed, shifting her arms into a slightly more comfortable position, “Plus, I wasn’t in a coma for _that_ long.”

“It’s good to know what you think of me,” Illyana teased her, letting her arm fall from around the other woman. She turned her back to the arm of the couch and nudged the brunette’s thigh with her knee, “Lay with me.”

“Okay.”

With a lot of shifting and awkward maneuvering, of Nadya especially, they found a position that was comfortable for the both of them. Illyana laid on her back with the infant face-down on her chest, her tiny head nestled into her neck while Kitty was half draped on top of her and half on the couch, one arm splayed protectively over the both of them.

They lied there, perfectly content in the comfortable silence lingering between them until it was broken by Illyana suddenly snorting a laugh _again_.

Kitty lifted her head from her shoulder, concern written all over her face, “What?”

“She peed on Emma,” the blonde managed to get out through her laughter that was growing harder instead of dying down because she couldn’t get the image out of her head now that she’d remembered it.

“Emma was _changing her_?” Kitty asked skeptically. She couldn’t imagine the White Queen coming within five miles of a baby.

“No, she was just holding her but,” Illyana’s laughter borderlined on cackling, “I didn’t put her diaper on right.”

Kitty tipped her head back against the back of the couch and let that mental image wash over her. With Illyana practically hysterical over the story, it didn’t take the brunette long to start laughing with her, her whole body trembling with the sound. She covered her mouth with her hand, “Oh my God. Emma must have lost her _mind_.”

“There were a lot of swear words,” Magik told her, cupping her hand over the back of Nadya’s head gently, “She yelled at me too. Or I think she did. I was laughing too hard to pay attention.”

“She is definitely our daughter,” Kitty pointed out with a laugh, “I wish I had gotten to see her _face_. Do you think she’d hold her again? Maybe we could train Nadya to poop on her next.”

“All over her favorite pants,” Illyana added on, biting down on her tongue like it was going to help quiet her laughter.

Kitty’s teeth were similarly sunk into her lower lip, “Emma wears pants? Since when?”

The air Illyana blew from her mouth trying to control herself only ended in it whistling against her teeth and when she finally gave up trying, letting out another round of explosive laughter, spittle flew out with it. She was laughing so hard there wasn’t even _sound_ coming out anymore. And poor Nadya, on her chest, was practically _bouncing_ with all the movement.  

“Shhhh!” Shadowcat hissed, though the sound was broken up by her own uncontrollable giggles. She laid her hand on Nadya’s back when the baby started whining as a result, “It’s okay, baby. You’re okay.”

“Shh, dushenka*,” Illyana joined in on the cooing, her fingers comfortingly massaging the child’s scalp as she spoke.

With the bouncing having stopped, Nadya settled down easily enough, the lines in her tiny forehead smoothing as quickly as they had emerged. Kitty leaned over Illyana’s chest to kiss the back of her head, before her lips could pass through her, she jerked back as if she had been struck. The brunette pressed her lips together into a hard line, but it was impossible to mask her disappointment completely.

“I guess I have to wait to do that.”

“You’ll be able to soon enough,” Illyana assured her, placing her hand over Kitty’s and intertwining their fingers. She gave it a gentle squeeze.

Kitty only nodded and forced her lips into a brave smile. She laid back down, her head back on Illyana’s shoulder, “I want to hear all the stories.”

And she did. For the rest of the morning, Illyana spoke, telling her lover everything that came to mind—the seemingly endless crying in the middle of the night; how frustrated Dani had been after looking after Nadya the first time, but how easily she had fallen in love with her anyway; about how awful her diaper smelt when she needed to be changed; all the little things people had done for them, the clothes and teddies and blankets people had brought down, or had sent down. And even though some of the things she had missed out on upset Kitty, the both of them together made a mental list of all the things there still was to do, all the cute toys and outfits they could buy, all the fun there still was to have.

It may not have been the ideal situation, but their lives never had been ideal, anyway.

 

*Little soul - translated from Russian


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's tough settling into a new role, especially when that role is motherhood.

It was six in the morning, and Kitty sat cross-legged in the glow of her laptop screen, as she had been for the past few hours. She was on the bed next to Illyana, her hip just behind the blonde’s head, close enough that every so often when Illyana shifted in her sleep, her back brushed against Kitty’s knee. Shadowcat had waited until she was deep asleep before she had turned on her laptop, and had contented herself with reading by the dull light from the bedside lamp before that, and snuggling against her lover’s back before _that_.

She had started off by reading reviews for strollers—the night before it had been for car seats, and the night before that had been invested in weighing the merits of different kinds of baby formulas, and before that had been spent discovering the pros and cons of commercial versus organic diapers. Though she had scribbled down some brands on a notepad in her lap, she had inevitably drifted towards the flashing ads on the side of one page, and now found herself on the side of the internet reserved for parents and aunts and grandparents obsessed with spoiling children.

Kitty had guiltily made a few impulse orders herself, such an foot- and handprint set that included ink pads in multiple colors and an album with enough pages to record one set of prints taken every day for eighteen years.

She may have gone slightly overboard. But what else was there to do when she was incapable of sleep and everyone else—including Lockheed at the end of the bed— _was_ asleep? It wasn’t any fun watching TV without Illyana,and she could only stare at the words in her books for so long.

Quietly, she closed her laptop lid in shame before she could order an ant farm that made use of Nadya’s excrements, and set it down on the nightstand. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and padded out of the bedroom.

For someone who was supposed to be in pretend-prison, Illyana’s living quarters—and her own now, too—were pretty nice. There were four rooms in total: a bathroom, master bedroom, nursery and a main living room that included a kitchen, television, dining table, and a couple of sofas. They basically had their own fully furnished apartment, and the only thing that could have made it better were windows, but this far underground, that was an impossibility.

Kitty got out relatively often anyway, even if Illyana didn’t. Magik had to keep up the charade of being under lockdown for those who weren’t aware of the _actual_ arrangement, but Kitty could walk around Utopia freely, and could take Nadya with her. So far, she had only done that once. Even with her suit, taking Nadya outside made her anxious. What if the suit stopped working and she dropped her? What if she took Nadya with her when she phased, and they both perished in the centre of the Earth? They were big ‘what ifs’ but she didn’t want to take any chances. Having a stroller would reassure her.

Other than exploring the X-Men’s new home and warding off questions about her condition from people she saw, most of the time Kitty spent outside was walking to different “training” sessions. She had meditation with Logan in the mornings, and what-are-all-the-ways-we-can-conceivably-think-of-to-help-you-be-solid brainstorming with Scott after lunch, followed by a checkup with Hank. So far, nothing had been successful.

It was disheartening, for sure. She wanted to hold her daughter and her lover in her arms, to be able to kiss the both of them skin-to-skin. She wanted to take a shower and change into fresh underwear and comfortable sweats, and she wanted to be able to eat something greasy and delicious. She wanted to go for a run on the shore and feel the spray of the ocean on her skin, and the sand as it slipped beneath her feet. She wanted to be able to train and to lay down next to Illyana and _sleep_ , even if that sleep would be interrupted by Nadya throughout the night.

Even being surrounded by people, Kitty was lonely. She didn't know how Rogue had done it all those years—being denied even minimal contact was torture.

She was starting to lose hope again, too. She had been a week out of the infirmary, but that hadn't brought her any closer to being truly solid. She was constantly faced with reassurances from Scott and Logan and Illyana and anyone else she ran into, but the truth was that her powers weren't even getting close to being under her control again. Pretending to agree with them and acting positive after the continuous failure she felt every day was becoming exhausting.

She wasn't even sure she could remember how she usually became solid again. Did it just happen? Did she will it to happen? How _hard_ did she will it? Because she was willing it pretty hard right now, and still nothing was happening.

A quiet whine from Nadya, distinct in the overwhelming silence of their rooms, drew Kitty's attention outwards again. She was almost at the doorway to the nursery when that whine became a scream. She had a pair of  lungs on her, that was for sure. Making sure to support her head, Kitty lifted her out of her bassinet. Letting the infant lay her chest against her own, even if they were separated by her suit, usually calmed her somewhat. Not tonight.

She kept screaming, the hot tears rolling down her chubby, red cheeks, and Kitty lowered her to cradle in her arms instead. She bounced her gently, one hand firmly patting her back as she swayed, but it was no use.

"Shhhh, Nadya. Mama is sleeping," Kitty cooed at her, though the brunette would be surprised if Nadya could even hear her over the sound of her own crying.

"You ate just a few hours ago," she tried to remind her, to no avail, "Did you poop again?" A quick feel at the back of her diaper showed that that was not the case.

"Come on, baby," she pleaded, "You're okay. Mommy is here."

The term still felt weird on Kitty’s tongue, more so than calling Illyana 'mama' did. She was still so young, and there hadn't been any preparation, no nine-month pregnancy, no labour, just a baby in her girlfriend's arms, as unexpected as if she had suddenly grown another head. Still, there was never any question about keeping her, however she had been brought into the world or had come into their lives.

When her own mother had found out she was a grandmother, after her daughter had been practically presumed dead, she had almost had a heart attack. Theresa had always had to be on her toes while her daughter was in the X-Men, but the news she had dreaded was her death, not a child. And in the last few months she had been confronted with both. After the initial shock had  passed, however, she had handled it well enough, offering to transfer money into their bank accounts, demanding at least one photo of Nadya be sent to her every day, making sure they had everything they needed from the other side of the country. In a few days, she was supposed to fly over to see them, and was already planning to sleep in Nadya's nursery with her.

Kitty thought she must be crazy, given how _loud_ Nadya was.

It wasn’t much longer before Illyana showed up in the doorway, still rubbing the sleep out of one eye with the back of her thumb. She was no stranger to getting little sleep and definitely not to waking up early and while she wouldn’t necessarily call herself a morning person, there was still a smile crawling across her lips at the sight of Kitty standing there with their wailing daughter in her arms. She felt like she should be used it it by now, and she knew eventually she would be, but the change in their lifestyle was still so new to the both of them.

“I can take her,” she spoke up, crossing the room to Kitty’s side. How something so small and fragile could make so much noise, she didn’t know—then again, she _shouldn’t_ have been that surprised. Before there was a baby, there was Lockheed. And that useless dragon was still pretending to sleep, just in case he got roped into helping.

“You’re supposed to be asleep,” Kitty protested, half-turning her body away from her lover as if shielding Nadya from her line of sight could persuade the blonde into believing she had everything under control—and discourage her from trying to take the infant from her.

“I was,” Illyana pointed out, reaching out and placing her hand on one of Kitty’s hips, “I woke up.”

With Nadya almost _screaming_ now, Kitty gave in easily enough. She turned back to face Illyana properly, a grimace on her face, “I don’t know what’s wrong.”

Illyana didn’t bother to ask the obvious questions because she knew Kitty had already gone through the possibilities. Instead, she hooked her hands beneath the infant’s arms and lifted her from her lover’s. She pulled her up to her chest, cupping the back of her head while her free hand held her up by her bottom and she guided her face to her shoulder.

“Shh, dushenka*,” her voice was gentle and quiet, but it did nothing to soothe her daughter.

Kitty hovered over the two of them anxiously, rubbing Nadya’s back in what were meant to be soothing circles. Only, the infant didn’t seemed soothed in the least. “Maybe she’s hungry again?” she tried.

“It’s worth a shot,” Illyana agreed, already turning towards the small, narrow chest of drawers that stood by Nadya’s crib. She tipped her head towards one of the drawers, “Can you get the bottle?”

Guiltily relieved to be getting away from Nadya, even if it was only to get her a bottle, Kitty did as she was asked, retreating from the nursery with a clean bottle in hand. Illyana stayed behind, cooing into the baby’s ear even as she bounced her gently in her arms, trying in vain to get her to stop crying. It wasn’t the first night like this, but it never made it any easier to deal with or to pinpoint what was wrong. Sometimes she was still hungry, sometimes it was her diaper, sometimes she’d gotten too hot and sometimes she was too cold and sometimes she just cried for no real discernable reason.

Illyana eventually started pacing, hoping that maybe the movement would do something to help. It didn’t, of course, but it wasn’t making anything worse so she kept walking back and forth across the room if only to give herself something to do while she waited for Kitty to come back with the bottle. By the abyss, she hoped the bottle did the trick. Not knowing what was wrong with her daughter and having to listen to her bawl like this was painful—she didn’t like not being able to help her.

When Kitty returned, it was with the bottle clasped in her hands tightly like it was the only thing keeping her alive. Being in the kitchen had offered some temporary relief for her hearing, but now it seemed like Nadya was crying even louder than she had been before. She placed the nipple of the bottle against Illyana’s elbow and let a dribble of formula onto her skin, “Good?”

“Yeah,” Illyana nodded. She lifted her hand away from the back of Nadya’s head and reached for the bottle, but paused before she could wrap her fingers around it, “Do you want to feed her?”

A smile lit up Kitty’s face, “Okay.”

Illyana’s expression mirrored Shadowcat’s as she repositioned the infant so that she could easily pass her over to the other woman. She kept her arms around her securely until she knew the brunette had a hold of her and only then did she step away.

With Nadya resting against her breast, Kitty took her over to the seat they had set up in the room, and sat herself down. Once she had the howling child horizontal in her arms, she gestured for the bottle. Illyana handed it to her and then sank down to the floor, sitting cross-legged in front of the chair.

At first, Nadya was wiggling too much to even notice the bottle being offered to her, her little red face turning in every direction. When Kitty finally touched it against her lower lip and squirted some of the formula against her sensitive skin, Nadya finally seemed to realise what was being offered to her, and locked her lips around the bottle’s soft nipple. She sucked eagerly as if she hadn’t just had some a few hours ago, her whole body growing still and calm now that she had what she had so obviously wanted.

Kitty let out a sigh of relief, and gave Illyana a wry smile, “You can go back to bed if you want.”

“Nah,” Illyana put her hands on Kitty’s legs and slipped them around to her calves, gripping them gently. She leaned forward and rested her chin on her lover’s knee, smiling up at her.

Just as she returned the smile, Kitty’s attention was snatched away by the sudden jerk Nadya made in her arms, and the corresponding _pop_ that burst from between her lips. A few seconds later, she hiccuped a second time, her brown eyes wide in fear. Kitty squeezed the bottle between her thighs, and let Nadya curl her tiny fingers around one of her own.

“It’s just hiccups, baby. You drunk too fast. You’re okay.”

“Hand her here,” Illyana said as she reached up so that Kitty could relinquish her hold on the infant. The blonde drew in her close, bringing them chest to chest, and let her hand rest on her small back. She patted it gently, unable to help the vaguely amused smile that tugged at her lips each time Nadya’s tiny body jumped with her hiccups. At least she wasn’t crying anymore.

And then just like that, with a single burp, the crying was the _least_ of her problems. She didn’t have to pull Nadya away from her shoulder to know what happened because she could feel it soaking into her t-shirt. Her blue eyes widened and her nose wrinkled up, her mouth twisted into a disgusted grimace and she pushed the infant away from her body, holding her out to her lover without a word.

Kitty’s lips were pressed together in a hard, tight line in an effort to keep herself from laughing, but her shoulders were trembling with it anyway, and the short breaths of air that came out of her nose were indication enough. She took Nadya from her lover and saw that their little girl had somehow managed not to get _any_ vomit on herself. Typical, but that made one less of them to clean.

“Go,” the brunette couldn’t get the word out without laughing, and even Nadya let out a few giggles. With a playfully warning point of her finger at their daughter’s face and—despite herself—a grin of her own, Illyana stood up from the floor. She was already carefully stripping off her shirt by the time she was through the door and had disappeared from their sight.

Still in Kitty’s arms, Nadya was blowing gross-colored bubbles with her mouth, and drool was running from the corner of her mouth. With the bottle still poised between her legs, Kitty had to be careful when she stood up to grab a tissue to wipe her daughter’s face. By the time she had done _that_ , Nadya’s eyelids were already drooping again. Kitty nursed her for a while longer, staring longingly down at her peaceful face, which had not so long ago been screwed up and pained. She was beautiful.

When Shadowcat was sure that Nadya wasn’t going to wake up again, she gingerly laid her back down in the bassinet. She left the door to the nursery open when she followed after Illyana. She could hear her in the bathroom, trying to wash out her shirt before it could stain, so she collapsed on the couch in the mainroom instead, in a manner that was less than graceful.

Illyana joined her a few minutes later with a fresh shirt that she’d dug out of the chest of drawers in their bedroom. She dropped herself down onto the cushions beside Kitty and leaned her head back, staring up at the ceiling for a good moment or two before she lazily let it drift to the side to look at her lover instead, “What a morning.”

“Mmm,” Kitty hummed her agreement. Her hand sought out Illyana’s on the couch between them, her gloved fingers entwining with her lover’s, “How did you sleep?”

“As well as I ever do,” Magik smiled at her, giving her hand a squeeze.

Kitty squeezed right back, though her expression had turned sheepish, a guilty smile crawling across her lips, “You know, you should probably teleport my laptop to Limbo before you go to bed from now on.”

Illyana’s eyebrow lifted in question but her tone was nothing less than amused, “What did you do?”

“I was reading reviews on strollers,” the brunette started, “But then there was this ad on the side of the page for baby jewelry, and I was like, ‘What kind of parent buys a two-hundred dollar bracelet for their one-month-old? They’d probably swallow it and you’d be poking through their poop for a week.’ So I clicked the ad to see what other weird stuff they were trying to sell, and it turned out there was a sale on and they had this _really_ cute handprint album so…”

“That’s not where it ends, is it?” Illyana asked, a grin tugging at her lips because she knew when it came to her lover, the first thing she bought usually was not her last. She’d stayed up late with her shopping on Amazon and Ebay in their younger years, and now knew better than to believe anything else.

Kitty’s expression became sheepish. Busted. “A jewelry box that’s going to have her name engraved.”

“And?”

“A onesie that will make her look like R2D2. That was from a different site.”

“You didn’t waste any time, did you?” Illyana laughed, nudging Kitty in the side with her elbow. She was teasing her but in reality, she didn’t really care. Kitty could have bought everything on the entire website and it wouldn’t have bothered her—aside from the obvious problem of figuring out where to put all of it.

Kitty wrapped both her arms around Illyana’s then, and leaned her body into her lover’s shoulder, “I’m making up for lost time.”

“You haven’t lost _that_ much time,” Illyana pointed out to her, partially to assure her that she truly hadn’t and partially to playfully shame her for the load of baby junk that was bound to be delivered soon. Still, she turned her head to press a kiss to the top of her head. “She’s going to be so spoiled.”

“I don’t see a problem with that,” Kitty grinned, her neck strained up to look at the blonde. Illyana’s lips against the top of her head, even if they were through the suit, warmed her and she draped an arm over her girlfriend’s torso to pull herself even closer to her. Magik grinned right back at her.

“Me either,” she said, then after a brief, thoughtful pause, added, “I want to look with you next time.”

“You’ll have to stay awake,” Kitty pointed out, “And then I’d have to find something else to do when you’re asleep.”

“Not sleeping doesn’t bother me,” Illyana reminded her.

Kitty was skeptical, “You have to sleep some time.”

“Da,” Illyana agreed with a _very_ cheeky grin, “After we shop.”

“That brings us back to the problem of what I’ll do when you’re sleeping.”

Illyana went to open her mouth with her undeniably smartassed retort but before the words could leave her lips, the pressure-locked doors of her living quarters _whooshed_ open to allow Scott to enter. She wasn’t particularly fond of the interruption—this was her time with Kitty, time that had been effectively _stolen_ from them of no fault of their own—but she stood from the couch to meet him anyway. He was the only reason she was allowed the freedom to live outside of a cell, after all.

Scott gave a purposeful nod to Kitty with a quick and friendly acknowledgment of her name but his attention quickly diverted to Illyana. “Suit up,” he told her as he pushed a two-inch thick, foot-and-a-half long black box into the blonde’s hands, the hint of a smile playing across his lips.

Illyana held the box tightly in her hands, though the gaze she cast down on it was skeptical and so was the look she gave Scott when she lifted her eyes to meet his hidden ones. She was meant to be locked away, no exceptions. Not even for her own _child’s_ need. Surely, he wasn’t playing a joke on her? No. Scott wasn’t a cruel man, he wouldn’t do that. But that didn’t stop her from inquiring to sate her curiosity.

“I thought I wasn’t allowed to leave my ‘cell’?” She asked, brows furrowed. The spark of the smile on Scott’s lips grew into a full one then and he reached out to put his hand on her shoulder.

“You’ve been cleared to go on missions when the objective requires you. That suit acts like your harness, but of course we’re not going to activate it, it’s just to keep the Breakworlders satisfied should they find out you were temporarily released from holding,” he said, retracting his hand to bring it to his hip instead, “I’ll be back in ten to get you for the briefing—be ready.”

“Wait!” Kitty interjected, jumping up from the couch, “What about me? I’m an X-Man, too. I get to go, right?”

“It’s okay to sit this one out, Kitty,” Scott said, hoping beyond hope that that would be enough to satisfy the brunette, “We don’t need a big team for this one.”

Shadowcat wasn’t buying it, “You can always use an extra person. And it’s been ages since I’ve gotten to do anything _useful_. I’m coming.”

“I don’t think that’s the best—” He started, but Illyana cut him off. She saw _right through_ what he was trying to do.

“Let her come,” she intervened, sending a glance to Kitty before she focused back on Scott, “She isn’t incapable just because she can’t _phase_ with the suit.”

The look on Scott’s face told her that he knew that fact as well as she did and after looking between them for a moment or two, the leader of the X-Men exhaled deeply. He raised his hand from his hip and motioned Kitty over.

A smile on her face that was part hopeful and part pleading, Kitty closed the distance between them dutifully, “Cyclops?”

“I’ll be back here in ten minutes. Be ready, both of you,” he instructed. With a pat to Kitty’s bicep, he turned and left the same way he had come.

Kitty turned back to Illyana, wearing a grin from ear to ear, “We’re going to need a babysitter.”

 *Little One — Translated from Russian


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The X-Men go to the aid of a mutant community in Vietnam.

The mission brief was just that — brief. No monsters, no aliens, no mutants causing trouble. Just ignorant humans doing what ignorant humans did best — try to kill innocent mutants who were just trying to live their lives. This time they were heavily armed, and their victims were from a village in rural Vietnam, a government-appointed safe haven for mutants. Illyana’s old teammate, Xi’an Coy Manh, and a few other X-Men had taken up temporary residence there, in liaison with the rest of the X-Men, while they got the village on its feet. Approximately an hour ago, the country’s anti-mutant insurgents had made a hostile move on the village, taking hostages and wounding innocents in their path. The X-Men’s mission was simple enough; Xi’an had called for back up and they were answering that call.

They were lucky to have Illyana, and to have clearance to use her. Although the Blackbird was state of the art, it would have taken them quite some time to get to Vietnam by air. And by that time, who knew what they would have arrived to find?

The scene that met them when they emerged from Illyana’s stepping disc was bad enough. The sun was setting on the village, and it was in ruins. Debris from houses littered the battleground. Shards of glass, melting sheets of corrugated iron, and half-burned timber could be made out through the dust- and smoke-choked air. Shouting, wailing, the groans of dying animals and gunfire tore through it all. With their enhanced senses, Logan and Hank could pick out the metallic stench of blood and the nauseating aroma of burned flesh, and could make out bodies further on. The others were spared, and glad of it. It was a certifiable warzone.

Illyana stepped up first, a string of words in a foreign tongue muttered under her breath as she extended a hand out in front of her, fingers splayed and her palm facing the ground. A mist that swirled with different shades of teal and blue poured up from the ground, eating away at the smoke and the dust that made a dense fog all around them and chasing back the long shadows with artificial light. When the mystical shroud dissipated, it left behind a clear view of the horrors laid out for them.

Bodies were scattered all around the village’s main square, some of them burnt, others covered in blood. Every single one of them had been gunned down, and left where they had fallen. Some looked like they had made a run for it, but hadn’t make it far, while with others it was clear they hadn’t even had the chance to try. At first, it seemed as if whatever fighting had occurred in the area where the X-Men had landed was over now, instead moving further into the village. That assumption was proven to be false when a group of insurgents jogged out from behind a collapsing wall, shouting to each other in Vietnamese and swinging their guns onto the X-Men, cocked and ready.

They opened fire, but their bullets never reached their intended targets. Instead, they were swallowed by a large, glowing portal to a realm beyond their comprehension. They were lucky, too, because while Illyana had sent those bullets to Limbo to rip into the flesh of the demons that dwelled there, she could just have easily have turned them around on the insurgents, and they would have _never_ seen it coming.

Still, the men had burned through a good few rounds of ammunition before their futility of their efforts finally sunk in — and that was just fine with the X-Men. In fact, they would have been happy for them to have spent even more of their already limited cartridges, or thrown down their weapons in rage. Unfortunately, all they did was exchange worried glances with each other.

Logan snorted, and his claws unsheathed with their usual _snikt_. His amused smirk was reflected in their polished adamantium coating, “Nice try, bub.”

“Wolverine, disarm them. Emma…” Cyclops didn’t even have to finish the command. The insurgents stiffened as one, dropped their weapons, turned, and marched from the battlefield. Unlike many of the groups they fought back home, these ones weren’t sophisticated enough to own technology with which to shield their thoughts.

Scott continued, “Shadowcat, make sure they don’t cause any more trouble. As for the rest of you, you have your orders. Disarm and detain. Help the wounded. Find our people. Go.”

Kitty was taken aback, feeling like she had just been slapped — if only that was possible in her current state. She started to protest, “ _Watch the prisoners_? Just have Emma knock ‘em out. I’d be of more use—”

The others were already moving away, and even with his visor obscuring his face, it was obvious that Scott didn’t want to hear it, “You have your orders.”

“They’re _bullshit_ ,” Kitty snapped back, her voice raised to ensure she was heard over the din, “I’m an _X-Man._ Let me _fight_.”

“We don’t have time to—”

He was saved from having to explain himself when Logan, already dragging an insurgent back by his feet, butted in, “Listen to the boss, kid.”

Outnumbered and conscious of the fact that this was definitely _not the place_ , the brunette could only huff, “Fine.”

Internally, a mental barrage of insults was aimed at Scott, and she aggressively shouldered Logan away from his captive, taking hold of his boots herself, hauling him back through the dust to join the rest of her charges on the outskirts of the field. Scott and Logan disappeared into the fray.

_Jerks._

Kitty hadn’t gotten very far when the burnt and crumbling wall beside her shuddered, a loud thump and a grunt of pain on the other side of it accompanying the explosion of dust on _her_ side of it. Before Kitty could do more than drop the legs of the man she was dragging, another insurgent was tossed out into the open, and Illyana stepped out from behind the wall after him. She delivered a swift, spiteful kick to his side for good measure and lifted her gaze to meet Kitty’s.

“Come on,” she said, motioning with a tip of her head towards one of the buildings that she could have sworn was on fire when they first arrived. A smirk tugged at the corner of her lips, “do you always do what the boss tells you to?”

Kitty couldn't help the laugh that bubbled from her lips. She used her head to gesture back at the men she was supposed to be guarding, “Can you tie them up?”

After using a portal to gather up their two men and send them over to the rest of their captives, a simple binding spell, muttered under Illyana’s breath, got _that_ out of the way. Ropes made of mystical energies tied them all together with no chance of escape, even if they had still had their wits about them to _try_.

“You ready?”

“Ready is my middle name,” Kitty grinned, “Let’s go.”

Illyana turned on the heel of her boot and slipped into the squat building on the other side of the wall, careful of the low-hanging rafters. She had heard yelling coming from inside when she had first approached and had found the insurgent still conscious inside, but hadn’t seen any survivors, dead _or_ alive. The building was small but there were two rooms off of the main one, and she motioned to the first one for Kitty to take while she continued off to the second.

The stench of smoke filled the place, and Kitty could taste the stuff in the back of her throat, but thanks to Illyana’s earlier spell, visibility wasn’t a problem. She found herself in a master bedroom with bullet holes pockmarking the walls, and a layer of dust covered every surface. The walls vibrated with whatever it was that was happening outside, and at first glance, the room appeared empty. But Kitty had been a kid once, too, and she dropped to the floor at the foot of the bed on instinct.

A little face, smeared with grime and tears, stared back at her. She flashed her teeth, “Hey, it’s okay. I’m an X-Man. We’re the good guys.”

The kid was either too scared to move — and who could blame him, she looked ridiculous — or not convinced. Kitty tried again, “You know Shan?”

That got her a wary nod. The little boy shifted, and a flash of fur revealed that he was clinging to some kind of teddy bear.

“Me too. We’re friends. She called me to come help. I know this is super scary, but you have to trust me. I’m going to keep you safe. Okay?”

It occurred to Kitty then that he probably had no idea what she was saying, but the tone of her voice must have been enough, because he thrust a dirty hand out from under the bed, and let Kitty drag him out on his stomach. He latched his arms around her neck as she stood, teddy bear swinging against her shoulders as she took him back out into the main room.

Illyana was nowhere to be seen, so she stuck her head through the doorway of the next room to call out to her, “Yana?”

Illyana, standing over something on the floor near the corner of the room, glanced over her shoulder. Spotting the child in Kitty’s arms, she quickly swatted her hand back at her, shaking her head, “Get him out of here.”

The other woman caught on immediately, and with a grimace, she spun back around to put her back to the room, “Oops. Let’s not go that way.”

The kid was astute for his age. He couldn’t have been more than four years old, but the second Kitty turned around and he could see over her shoulder and into the room beyond, he started screaming.

Kitty bounced him in her arms as she strode quickly from the dilapidated ruin of a house, cooing at him in a way she hoped was reassuring. It didn’t seem to make any difference at all.

Inside, Illyana knelt down beside the two lifeless bodies. She covered a gloved hand over the wide, vacant eyes of the woman, gently closing them before she removed her hand. Lips set into a deep frown, she bowed her head and whispered a quiet apology.

The two deserved a decent burial, so she refused to leave them here where the building would undoubtedly end up collapsing in on them sooner rather than later. She made a quick trip to the other room to see if there was anything she could use, opting to snag the top sheet off the bed in the bedroom when nothing else sufficed. When she returned, she pulled the sheet over the both of them so the little boy wouldn’t have to see their bodies again.

A stepping disc carried them from the decaying house and back to the square where things had calmed down and other dead victims had been placed by some of her teammates. She took another portal to find Kitty again.

Shadowcat had her back to a wall, the little boy still sniffling in her arms. She had absolutely no idea what to do with him, and sprinting across the open, corpse-littered square didn’t seem like a very good idea. Especially not when she could still hear automatic weapons being discharged, and _extra_ especially when she couldn’t just _phase_ through those shots. The glow of Illyana’s stepping disc was a welcome sight.

She hiked the boy up further in her arms, and lowered her head as close as she could to the speaker and microphone he was muffling, “Have you seen the others?”

“No, but they’ve been close. There were other bodies laid out in the square,” Illyana told her, blue eyes set on the kid in Kitty’s arms. She felt so bad for him, and it showed in the crease of her forehead and the downturn of her lips and the sympathetic softness of her gaze. He’d done nothing to deserve any of this, especially having to grow up without his parents. It ignited a simmering rage beneath her skin that encouraged her desire to make all of the ones responsible _suffer_. They’d get what they all deserved, that much she knew.

“We need to find them.”

What they _really_ needed to do was find somewhere safe to leave the kid, because without her powers, Kitty definitely didn’t feel safe toting him around. The gunfire she could hear was further off now, but there could just as easily be more insurgents lurking around the next corner.

“Da,” Illyana agreed, and she was the first to step around the side of the building to scope out what they were dealing with. The coast was clear, and she motioned back with a quick bend of her fingers for Shadowcat to follow her.

They struck out across the yard together, quick and quiet — fortunately, the little boy bouncing in Kitty’s arms seemed to realize the direness of their situation. Illyana stayed ahead of them, and when she spotted something — or, a _group_ of somethings — through the smoke and dust ahead, she threw her arm out in front of them to stop Kitty from advancing any further.

“Up ahead, look,” she said, a forward inclination of her head indicating just what she was looking at. She didn’t know if they were friend or foe and she intended to find out alone, without endangering the young boy. She was just about to tell Kitty as much, too, when she heard a voice call out from ahead and _immediately_ recognized it.

It was Kitty that called out to their long lost friend, “Shan!”

The distance between their groups was hastily closed, with Karma heading her party of what Kitty and Illyana could only assume — because they didn’t recognise a single one of them — were other mutants, each of which had already sustained some kind of injury, but were nevertheless on their feet.

“Illyana, Kitty,” Xi’an greeted them with a slightly strained smile. Her gaze settled on Kitty, “I didn’t know you were back in action.”

Kitty’s smile came easier, and she shifted the boy in her arms, “Couldn’t keep me down. We’ll catch up later. I think this is yours.”

One of the men in Karma’s band, a bloody bandage wrapped around his head, stepped forward to take the child from her, and after a quick glance exchanged with their leader, Kitty handed him over.

“Was there anyone else?” It didn’t take a genius to work out that Xi’an meant the boy’s parents. Illyana shook her head sadly, a frown set on her lips. Xi’an’s face fell, too, but she didn’t seem that surprised. She shot a glance over her shoulder to the boy, then returned her back to the two women in front of her, “Keep looking for others. I’ll take care of him.”

“Anyone we should keep our eyes out for?” Kitty asked, her mind on missing children and elderly residents, or any of the X-Men Xi’an might have lost track of. Xi’an and her group were already melting back into the smoke — evidently, the fires that had produced the stuff Illyana had cleared when they arrived were still going — and the answer Shadowcat got was not the one she had been expecting.

“Try the men with the guns.”

There wasn’t much else to say after that, not that they had any time to sit around and chat right then anyway. A quick glance around the square told them they had a _lot_ of buildings to look through still, some in better shape than others. It was just a matter of choosing a place to start.

“Left to right?” Kitty offered. Illyana gave her a tight nod and together they started towards the first of the structures in question. It didn’t look like it was faring too well in the chaos, which was all the more reason to go in first. If there were survivors, they needed to be rescued before the entire thing collapsed in on them.

Magik went in first, meeting yet another empty main room. The house was much like the first, only the roof of this one had been half destroyed, and leaves and twigs had fallen into the room through a hole in the ceiling left by a torn away section of corrugated metal. Broken and charred rafters hung precariously from above, evidence that a fire — or _flamethrower_ — had beat them to the building. It was little more than embers burning on the floor now, which Illyana stomped out while Kitty ducked through the doorway to the right. The small room beyond was empty, with not even a bed to look under this time, just a broken table and some upended drawers — obviously looted.

She withdrew, her heart growing heavier still, and met Illyana’s gaze. She shook her head to indicate that she had found nothing. There was only one other room, probably a bedroom, but the damage that had been done to it made it hard to tell. A quick search through the wreckage determined that everyone who had once lived there had been evacuated — hopefully to safety and not into the hands of their enemies.

Luck on their side, the rest of the buildings would be similarly empty.

“Reminds me of Genosha,” Kitty noted, and hastily added, “Before the Sentinel, and before it was made into a mutant haven. It was just after mutant slavery had been abolished. Humans and mutants were fighting with each other and blaming each other for the economy. They were starving, living on the streets because all their homes had been trashed.”

Illyana was quiet for a moment or two, more focused on the damage than she was Kitty but she still heard her, letting every single word sink in and deepen the frown on her lips. If there was anything more upsetting than seeing a town in ruins because of humans, it was knowing that at any given moment, at any place in the world, it could and _would_ happen again. That knowledge pushed a heavy weight down on her chest so hard that she physically felt the pain and the struggle was evident in the waver of her voice when she finally said, “Do you think it will always be like this?”

Jews had been persecuted for over two _thousand_ years, Kitty knew.That was as difficult to comprehend as what had happened in Genosha, and what was happening here, even if it was on a much less significant scale. There were a couple hundred people in the village, tops. But that didn’t make their lives worth any less. It didn’t make them any less innocent.

Kitty was determined, even if, in the wake of such destruction, she didn’t really believe her own words, “No. Nadya won’t grow up in a world like this.”

Illyana’s jaw quivered and she had to clench her teeth to stop it, but still she nodded. It was hard to imagine a world where things like this didn’t happen, but she didn’t know what she’d do if she stopped believing such a world could exist. She didn’t say it out loud, because part of her knew that Shadowcat probably felt the same way, but knowing there was at least _one_ other person who believed in it too was enough.

“No, she won’t,” she reiterated, her voice much more firm and secure this time.

“Let’s go. We have more houses to—” Kitty broke off as the ceiling above them shifted and _creaked_. She froze and stared up at it, her head tipped back, watching to make sure it wasn’t going to collapse on them if she took another step towards the exit. A few seconds passed without incident, but just when the brunette thought it was safe, the whole building _lurched._

With shouts of alarm from both of them, the X-Men attempted to drive clear as one of the main rafters snapped clean in half and the whole thing fell inwards. Illyana was successful — Kitty, not so much. Both of her legs were trapped under the debris. It wasn’t so much painful, just _annoying_ considering that she couldn’t just _phase out_. Dragging herself forward with her arms only managed to free _one_ of her legs.

“ _Ugh_ , dammit!” she cursed loudly.

Illyana was quick to react, dropping down to one knee beside the other mutant. “I’ve got you,” she assured her, digging her fingers beneath one of the wooden beams. She pulled up on it, but one end was caught beneath part of the fallen roof which made lifting it much harder. Teleporting wouldn’t do any good and it was times like this that made her wish she didn’t have to rely on _portals_. She clenched her jaw and tried again, but this time she tried to lift the remains of the roof first, exerting enough effort to warrant a strained growl, her face turning red with it.

Even with her fingers dug into the cracks between the wooden floorboards, Kitty still couldn’t pull herself out. Her foot was jammed sideways, stuck beneath another rafter, so she couldn’t even twist onto her back to maneuver.

“I think we need Hank,” she sighed in defeat.

“I’m not leaving you here to go find him,” Illyana told her, repositioning her hands on the largest part of the collapsed roof. If she could lift _that_ up, the rest would be easy in comparison. With one hard push, she managed to get it to budge by _sliding_ it instead of lifting it and with a breath of relief, she moved back to the rafter that had been trapped under it.

With her teeth grit together and her face screwed up, Kitty tried a _third_ time to haul herself out. The pressure on her ankle had definitely been alleviated, leaving room for the pins-and-needles that filtered down to it along with her blood, but there still wasn’t _quite_ enough room to pull her leg free. It was _beyond_ frustrating,and she was just about to _insist_ that Magik find one of their teammates to help out, when movement behind the blonde caught her eye.

There was no time to talk.

She yanked her body forward, felt something in her ankle _pop_ painfully, to grab Illyana’s leg, hoping to pull it out from under her and topple her off balance and out of the _literal_ line of fire.

“Katya—” The confusion was clear in her voice and in the furrow of her brow, but whatever question that would have followed never found its way to her lips. The explosion of automatic gunfire erupted from behind her and her Eldritch armor grew up her back to protect her from the onslaught without her even _willing_ it to. But its crawl across her upper back wasn’t quite fast enough and suddenly there was a searing pain in her left shoulder that caught her by surprise.

The weapon’s chamber clicked empty and without thinking, Illyana twisted around. She had to catch herself from falling forward with her right arm. A shining ring of light opened beneath the insurgent and dropped him into Limbo where, with any luck, something would deliver to him the punishment she didn’t have the conscience to carry out herself. She half-sat, half-collapsed back flat on her ass then, raising her hand to her wounded shoulder when her Eldrich armor retreated. Underneath, the black and yellow of her uniform had been soaked with her blood.

“Yana!” Kitty reached for her in vain, her fingertips barely skimming the back of her uniform no matter how hard she strained or how she twisted. Her ankle was on fire, probably dislocated, but that was barely a blip in her mind. She had barely been able to see what had happened past her lover’s body, but she had heard. And she could see _now_.

“Illyana!” she cried out again, growling under her breath for how totally _useless_ she was, stuck under the roof she had been too stupid to dive away from sooner, “C’mere, Yana. Where were you hit?”

“My shoulder,” Illyana winced as she pressed her hand against the wound and turned back towards the other woman. Her heart was racing and she could hear it beating in her ears and her breathing was slow and heavy, but she still had to get Kitty out from under the debris. So she dropped her hand from her shoulder and grabbed for the wooden beam again.

“Don’t even think about it,” Kitty battered her hand away without a second thought. “Radio the others. And let me put pressure on that.”


End file.
